“We have to talk?” Chaeyoung asked, a sense of dread coming over her at the seriousness of Lisa’s tone.
“It’s just…” Lisa started hesitantly, her gaze fixed firmly on the tub of Nutella in her right hand, her left fiddling with the teaspoon distractedly. “It’s just what Lili?” Chaeyoung asked anxiously when she didn’t continue. “Are you breaking up with me?”
“What?” Lisa responded, her head snapping up and her attention returning to the blonde sat beside her. “No of course I’m not. Why would you even ask me that?”
“Nothing ever good comes from a conversation that starts with ‘we have to talk,’” Chaeyoung told her, recalling the bouquet of flowers and the picnic Lisa had set up for her. “Is that what all this is about?” she asked interestedly, gesturing to the blanket they were sat on and the picnic basket beside them. “Did you set this all up to soften the blow of what you’re going to say?”
“No,” Lisa answered truthfully. “I mean, maybe a little bit but, I wanted to do all this for you,” she disclosed. “I thought that it would be nice, you know, to spend today doing something special together. Especially with the concert later on…”She trailed off and Chaeyoung waited patiently thinking that she would continue.
“Ok…” Chaeyoung said with a puzzled expression on her face when Lisa didn’t go on. “That still doesn’t explain what we have to talk about though.” She noted. “Are you ok?” she asked. “I mean, you’re not like, dying or anything are you?” she questioned worriedly. The corner of Lisa’s mouth turned up in a halfsmile and she deposited the teaspoon she held in her left hand in to the tub of Nutella in her right.
“We’re all dying Rosie,” she commented simply and Chaeyoung felt her stomach lurch at the somewhat evasive answer.
“What does that mean?” Chaeyoung said, her voice coming out panicked, her pitch increasing slightly as a result of her concern. “Are you sick?”
“No,” Lisa said, reaching out her free hand to place it on Chaeyoung’s forearm reassuringly, her fingertips grazing the skin there as they stroked it gently. “I’m fine. I promise. I’m not dying any more than you are.” She assured her.
“Ok, well you’re kind of freaking me out a little bit here Lili,” Chaeyoung informed her girlfriend, placing her free hand on top of Lisa’s and picking it up to lace their fingers together, “So, whatever is it that you’ve got to say, can you just say it? I’m picturing all kinds of horrible scenarios in my head and I think I’d rather you just put me out of my misery if it’s something bad.”
“It’s not bad,” Lisa responded, squeezing Chaeyoung’s hand. “At least, I don’t think it is but, I just…I don’t want you to take what I say the wrong way, that’s all.” Chaeyoung remembered back to the conversation that she’d had with her mom this morning regarding Lisa and thought that she finally understood the direction that the conversation was headed in.
“Oh,” Chaeyoung said, realisation dawning on her. “Is this about you being able to do more for yourself?” she asked Lisa, a sense of relief washing over her that it might be nothing more serious than that.
“Who told you?” Lisa asked surprised and Chaeyoung bit her bottom lip for a moment feeling slightly embarrassed.
“My mom might have mentioned something to me,” she admitted tentatively. “She told me that your mom had talked to her about you wanting to be able to have more independence now that you’re home.”
“Alright, so I guess we don’t need to talk too much then,” Lisa laughed lightheartedly at Chaeyoung’s revelation. “I mean, what do you think about it?” she asked hesitantly.
“About you having more independence?” Chaeyoung questioned and Lisa nodded her head in response. “Lili I’d do anything to help you,” Chaeyoung said supportively, placing her own teaspoon in to the tub of Nutella and her now free hand against the side of Lisa’s face lovingly. “You know that right?”
“Yes,” Lisa answered, chuckling to herself and pressing the side of her cheek in to Chaeyoung’s palm more firmly. “That’s kind of the problem though.”
“What do you mean?” Chaeyoung responded confused.
“You’re amazing,” Lisa stated conclusively tilting her head back into a more neutral position. “You are Rosie,” she reaffirmed. “Even when we weren’t dating, right back at the start of our friendship, you were always there to help and support me in everything.” She continued. “I don’t want you to think that I’m ungrateful because I’m not. I really appreciate everything that you’ve done for me and everything that you still do for me…”
“You don’t want me to do them any more though,” Chaeyoung finished for Lisa when her girlfriend failed to complete her sentence, her voice instead fading out doubtfully.
“I know it’s ridiculous,” Lisa said, rolling her eyes slightly. “I’m being ridiculous. I know.”
“You’re not ridiculous,” Chaeyoung countered.
“I am,” Lisa disagreed. “I mean, the things you do for me, they’re small, you know? It’s like, you’ll open the door for me or carry my bag.” She informed her. “Or you’ll help me in and out of the car and its sweet…” She noted. “Chivalrous even…”
“But?” Chaeyoung pressed knowingly.
“I think they’re normal things to do when you’re in a relationship,” Lisa continued, ignoring Chaeyoung’s prompt for the negative part of the conversation to begin. “I think that if you were in a relationship with anyone else, it wouldn’t matter…”
“I’m in a relationship with you,” Chaeyoung reminded her. “So it does matter Lili, especially if you don’t like me doing it…”
“No,” Lisa interrupted. “See, that’s exactly what I don’t want you to think Rosie. It’s not that I don’t like it when you do those things for me, it’s just that sometimes I feel like you do them because you don’t think that I can.”
“So you want to know my motivation behind helping you?” Chaeyoung asked her, trying to understand Lisa’s concerns so that she could quell them. Lisa nodded almost imperceptibly in response and Chaeyoung sighed as she thought of the best way to respond. “I don’t know why I do it,” Chaeyoung answered honestly after a pause. “I’ll admit that initially it was because you couldn’t do things for yourself,” she continued. “You struggled with your bag at school and you kept falling out of the car, so…I started to help you with those things. I guess that I’ve been doing it for you for so long now that they’ve just become like second nature to me.” She admitted.
“So now, when we’re walking together I’ll find myself with the sudden urge to put my arm around your waist to steady you, or I’ll want to pour you something to drink when we’re watching movies with the girls because I know how embarrassed you are when you spill it all over the floor…”
“I know that you’re doing it for me,” Lisa said, “but sometimes it makes me feel like…”
“It makes you feel like what Lili?” Chaeyoung prompted sensing Lisa’s hesitation. “It’s ok, you can tell me. I won’t be upset, I promise.”
“Sometimes it makes me feel like you don’t believe in me,” Lisa explained, “it makes me feel like I can’t do it, that I’m incapable…and that…that makes me feel bad Chaeyoung. It makes me feel like we’re not equal and I hate that.” Chaeyoung’s brow creased in response to Lisa’s words, but she said nothing in reply as she contemplated her girlfriend’s words. “Now you’re upset,” Lisa said feeling guilty for even bringing it up at all.
“No,” Chaeyoung answered truthfully. “I’m not upset I’m just…it makes you feel bad?” she asked her. “You mean, depressed?” Lisa nodded her head.
“When I was away at rehab I had to do everything for myself,” Lisa shared with Chaeyoung. “I was made to and honestly, at the beginning, it was really hard sometimes.” She continued. “I cannot tell you the number of times that I spilt a drink or came down to breakfast with my shirt buttons done up incorrectly, but, I tried.” She disclosed. “It was frustrating and tediously time consuming sometimes,” Lisa explained.
“Everything took me twice as long and I would get annoyed and irritated with myself because I thought I should be able to do it and I couldn’t. I’d ask the staff for help and they wouldn’t give me any, not unless it was something that could potentially hurt me, like the time I tried to pour scalding water out of the kettle. They stepped in pretty quickly then,” she laughed, amused at the memory.
“They told me it was important for me to get my independence back and they were right, because as discouraged as it made me feel when I couldn’t do something, I felt incredible when I could.” She divulged with a smile on her face. Chaeyoung returned her smile as Lisa continued. “I was so used to failing that I’d forgotten what it was like to succeed,” the younger girl continued.
“It’s amazing how something as small as pouring a glass of juice without spilling any can feel like the biggest achievement in the world but it did, and the days that I could come down to breakfast and say that I’d buttoned my shirt up correctly were always excellent days. It makes me feel good to be able to look after myself.”
“I believe in you Lili,” Chaeyoung reassured her. “If I was ever going to bet on someone to come out the other side of this, then it’d be you.” She shared with her. “So, I’ll stop opening the door for you,” Chaeyoung said, leaning forward and planting a soft kiss on Lisa’s lips for a moment, “and I’ll stop carrying your bag.” She continued, her smile broadening as she kissed Lisa on the lips again.
“In fact,” she started mischievously. “Perhaps it would make you feel better if I just let you do those things for me for a while.” She suggested, “A role reversal so to speak. That way you can practice even more.” Lisa’s tongue stuck out through her lips slightly as she smiled and Chaeyoung felt the familiar butterflies in her stomach at the sight of her girlfriends’ elation.
“You’d do that for me?” Lisa asked playfully. “Let me be your slave for a while.”
“If it would help,” Chaeyoung replied, her thumb stroking the back of Lisa’s hand affectionately.
“I know that you’re only teasing,” Lisa responded lightly, “but I actually think that it would help.”
“In that case consider it done,” Chaeyoung told her. “I’ll stop doing things for you and instead, you can do things for me, within reason of course.” She paused for a moment considering something. “I mean, you might have to tell me to stop what I’m doing or remind me to let you do it every once in a while though,” Chaeyoung informed her seriously. “It really has become a habit, you know?”
“I will,” Lisa reassured her. “Now that I know that it won’t upset you.”
“Can I ask you something?” Chaeyoung said pulling Lisa’s hand towards her a little.
“Sure,” Lisa answered.
“Were you really worried about how I’d react?” she asked.
“No not really,” Lisa told her truthfully. “I’ve just been waiting for the right time to talk to you, that’s all. Yesterday didn’t really seem like the appropriate time what with your mom coming home,” she shared. “Then we went for dinner with the other girls at the diner and your exgirlfriend turned up…”
“Emily wasn’t my girlfriend,” Chaeyoung reminded her.
“Whatever,” Lisa laughed, nudging Chaeyoung slightly in the side with her elbow. “You know what I mean.”
“Well, I’m glad you told me,” Chaeyoung said, wrapping one arm around Lisa’s shoulders and pulling her in close to her side, the two of them facing the ocean again.
“Me too,” Lisa agreed, resting her head against Chaeyoung’s shoulder as they took in the panorama before them. They sat together like this for a while, a comfortable silence settling between the pair of them as they admired the view.
“That’s not the only thing I wanted to talk to you about today,” Lisa admitted her voice quiet and thoughtful as she lifted her head off Chaeyoung’s shoulder and turned to face her girlfriend.
“It wasn’t?” the taller girl asked, running a hand through her hair as their eyes met.
“No,” Lisa said, reaching her hand in to her jacket pocket where it remained hidden as she continued. “I wanted to talk to you about something else too.”
“Ok,” Chaeyoung encouraged, twisting her torso so that she was facing Lisa in order to save her neck from the strain of looking over her shoulder. Lisa dropped her gaze to her lap and Chaeyoung could see the younger girl’s right hand moving inside her jacket pocket, toying with something inside of it nervously.
“So, despite the small bump we had a few weeks back,” Lisa started, her face betraying her obvious nerves and causing Chaeyoung to reach a hand out to rub her knee supportively, emboldening her to continue. “We’ve been together for what?” she asked rhetorically. “Six months?”
“Something like that,” Chaeyoung confirmed, squeezing Lisa’s knee firmly, a soft smile on her lips.
“Well, I kind of thought that was worth commemorating,” Lisa explained, her hand still moving around in her pocket uneasily.
“Isn’t that what we’re already doing?” Chaeyoung noted gesturing at the picnic Lisa had setup.
“No, I mean with something special.” Lisa clarified.
“This isn’t special?” Chaeyoung asked laughing in disbelief at Lisa’s apparent definition of the word.
“No it is,” she said, “but, I mean, I wanted it to be really special…”
“Lili babe,” Chaeyoung said gently, “you’re starting to ramble again and I’m beginning to get a little bit lost.” Lisa sighed and pulled her hand out of her pocket, a small box in her grasp. “Oh shit,” Chaeyoung cursed, her eyes falling on the black velvet case. She lifted her hand off Lisa’s knee to hold it up between the two of them and bent her wrist forward, her index finger pointing to the object, her mouth agape.
“Lili, please tell me that isn’t what I think it is…” she started, feeling panicked. Lisa held the box out in front of her and opened it slowly to reveal a small silver ring inside. “Ok,” Chaeyoung said quickly, her hand reaching out to close the box before Lisa could say anything. “Let’s just slow down for a minute alright?” she asked as she stood up from where she was sat swiftly, her feet moving back and forth in a steady rhythm as she paced in front of the younger girl.
“Rosie,” Lisa began, standing up and placing a hand on her girlfriends’ shoulder to stop her.
“No listen,” Chaeyoung rushed to interrupt as she turned to meet her girlfriend’s steady gaze. “I love you Lili, I do and I want to be with you forever but, you can’t do this now,” she informed Lisa. “It’s too soon. I mean, we’re juniors in high school.” She told her girlfriend as though she was unaware of that fact. “We’ve only been dating for six months…”
“You know I’m not completely mental Rosie,” Lisa laughed interjecting goodhumouredly, her other hand coming up to rest on Chaeyoung’s opposite shoulder, the small box stilled clasped within it. “I…”
“Please don’t do this,” Chaeyoung pleaded, lifting Lisa’s hands off her shoulders and lowering them into the space between hers and Lisa’s bodies, ignoring her girlfriends’ words, her mind working overtime. “I don’t want to have to say ‘no’ because I don’t think my heart could handle the look on your face afterwards.” She stated, “but I can’t say ‘yes’ either…”
“Rosie there isn’t a question attached to this ring,” Lisa told her bluntly, an amused expression on her face at Chaeyoung’s misinterpretation of the situation.
“There isn’t?” she asked as her eyes dared to glance back down at the velvet case in Lisa’s right hand.
“No,” Lisa reassured her as she tugged on Chaeyoung’s hand and prompted her to sit back down on the blanket. “There’s no question.” She reiterated, sitting beside Chaeyoung who had now returned to her former position, her face still betraying her shock at the turn of events. “Only a promise,” Lisa finished, lifting the small box back up in between herself and Chaeyoung once more.
“A promise?” Chaeyoung questioned, her eyes falling back on to the container as Lisa opened it to reveal the silver ring a second time, the metal shining brightly in the midday sun. “During the last counselling session that I had at rehab my therapist told me the importance of not making myself any pledges or promises that would be difficult to keep,” Lisa disclosed, picking the ring up out of the box and placing the black case aside out of the way, the small piece of jewellery now held securely between her index finger and thumb.
“She said that if I were to promise myself anything it should be small and achievable, or something that was meaningful to me, that I was committed towards,” She continued, giving Chaeyoung a meaningful look. Lisa stretched out her hand, the small silver loop sitting in her palm as she offered the ring to Chaeyoung. “Take it,” Lisa prompted and Chaeyoung did as she was instructed, picking up the ring and examining it closely. The ring was a plain silver band, engraved with the shape of an anchor in the middle of it, delicate waves either side, covering the rest of the otherwise smooth shiny surface.
“There’s an engraving on the inside,” Lisa said and Chaeyoung tilted the ring slightly in order to read it, a smile forming on her lips as she did.
“A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor”
“Lili this ring is beautiful,” Chaeyoung said, offering the trinket back to her girlfriend who took it once again, “but I can’t accept it.”
“Before you completely dismiss the idea,” Lisa said, her eyes dropping to the ring for an instant. “Just let me explain why I bought it for you.”
“Alright,” Chaeyoung agreed and Lisa held the ring up slightly to catch the light, twirling it around in her right hand for a moment before dropping it back down into her lap and meeting Chaeyoung’s eyes again.
“This quote means something to me,” Lisa told her, “it means a lot to me actually, just like you do.” She said, making a fist around the ring protectively so as not to drop it.
“My dad first told me that quote when I was younger and I shared that story with you on our first date, right on this very beach,” she reminded her. “So it’s significant, at least, to me it is.”
“I know,” Chaeyoung reassured her. “It’s significant to me to.” She shared. “It reminds me of you, of us.”
“Right,” Lisa acknowledged, lifting the ring back up in front of Chaeyoung between her index finger and thumb as she continued. “Well, when I came back from rehab initially,” she went on. “You used this quote and the metaphorical nautical theme to describe our relationship and the turbulence we’d experienced along the way. You said that we’d hit a patch of bad weather on our journey, that the waters were rough but that it was important for us to experience them, to navigate them together in order to become more skilled at dealing with the inevitable storms that we’d face later on in our relationship. You understood that for every clear, sunny day and smooth sea that we’re blessed with there would be an equal number of wild and tempestuous ones.” Lisa lifted her gaze from the ring to look back up at Chaeyoung who was watching her intently, enthralled by her words.
“This is a promise ring,” Lisa said, holding the small band up between them again.
“A promise ring?” Chaeyoung asked her, not entirely sure of the names importance.
“Yes,” Lisa said, “They can have a lot of different meanings,” she told Chaeyoung, “the most traditional being that it is used to signify a commitment to a monogamous relationship with whomever you give it to.”
“What are its other meanings?” Chaeyoung asked, smiling brightly at her girlfriends’ gesture.
“It can sometimes be used as a pre-engagement ring,” Lisa answered honestly.
“Is that what it is in this case?” Chaeyoung asked nervously, feeling a little bit overwhelmed by the depth of Lisa’s obvious dedication.
“Not officially,” Lisa replied uncertainly. “I mean, not if you don’t want it to be….I just…” she stammered unsure how to express herself articulately without scaring Chaeyoung.
“It’s ok,” Chaeyoung reassured her, feeling slightly placated by Lisa’s evident anxieties. “You can tell me.”
“I just….ok,” Lisa resolved, sighing audibly, “I love you.” She declared simply and Chaeyoung couldn’t help but smile at the ease with which she expressed it. “I could tell you all the reasons why but you already know them,” Lisa continued. “There’s nothing new to add to the list.” Lisa paused for a moment, shuffling a little bit closer to Chaeyoung, her left hand finding the blonde’s knee and coming to rest on it tenderly.
“You once told me that when you think of the future you see us together,” Lisa recalled, “and when I think of the future the only certainty that I know is that I want you to be in it.” She told her. “You are my anchor Rosie,” Lisa expressed sincerely. “You are one of the very few constant things in my life that I can latch on to for stability when everything around me is falling apart at the seams.” She paused momentarily before adding meaningfully, “When I’m falling apart at the seams.” Lisa took hold of one of Chaeyoung’s hands in her own. “You are consistent and reliable Rosie.” She told her. “You’re steadfast and unmoving in your support of me.” She went on, “and I feel safe with you, secure in our relationship because I trust you implicitly.” Lisa paused once again, her eyes dropping to the floor for a moment, thoughtful. “I know that with you; my anchor, by my side, I can get through any storm,” she shared eloquently. “You give me the strength to hold on so that I don’t get swept up in the choppy water and lose myself in the vastness of the ocean. You help me stay grounded,” she continued. “You help me to ride out the storm and see the blue clear skies when it finally breaks.”
“Lili,” Chaeyoung said, thinking her girlfriend had finished.
“No…just…I know it sounds sappy and cliché,” Lisa pressed on, “but that doesn’t make it any less true Rosie.” She told her. “After the accident you gave me hope for a future that I was almost certain that I didn’t want. You gave me hope that the future that you envisioned for us could be a reality one day and I think that if it was, if it did come to pass, well, then I could die knowing that I had lived the best life that I possibly could have.”
“Babe,” Chaeyoung practically sighed, tears stinging the corner of her eyes, her hand coming to rest against the side of Lisa’s cheek.
“It’s not a pre-engagement ring,” Lisa stated simply. “It’s so much more than that.” She said pausing for an instant. “It might sound like a lot to handle right now, but I always want you to be a part of my life, the biggest part of it. I want the future that you pictured; the house on the beach and the warm summer days spent out on the deck admiring the ocean. I want you to be a part of my life forever and when I think about the person that I want to spend all my days with it’s you. There are no variations. It’s always you, every time.” Lisa moved her left hand to take hold of Chaeyoung’s and lifted the ring up in her right, just in front of Chaeyoung’s index finger, as though she were going to slip it on to the digit.
“My therapist told me not to make any promises to myself that I couldn’t keep,” Lisa stated, returning to the original topic of discussion. “She said that if I was going to promise myself anything that it should be achievable, it should be meaningful and I should be willing to commit to it.” Lisa inhaled deeply, readying herself to say what she wanted to. “I’m committed to you Rosie,” Lisa declared, “and I promise that I will try to show you every single day from now on that your faith in me and your continued support isn’t misplaced. I promise to love myself for the person that I am now,” she said meaningfully, “because I know that if someone as amazing as you, who is patient and kind, who I respect and trust, can find something in me worth loving, then it is there. I can’t promise that I won’t doubt myself or that I won’t struggle from time to time, but, every day I will make a note of one thing that I love, just one and that will be enough.” Lisa slipped the ring on to Chaeyoung’s left index finger, the blonde saying nothing in protest, a smile on her lips all the while.
“I promise to get out of bed every morning,” Lisa went on, “to face the day and whatever challenges it might bring. I promise to say something nice to compliment you if you’re having a bad day and to recognise that your feelings are important too, that our relationship isn’t just about me and my struggles, but about yours as well. I’m committed to showing you that you can count on me to be there, to not check out and lose myself again. I want you to be able to trust that I won’t drown under the weight of your problems and that you can be honest with me if there’s something you aren’t coping with. I promise that I will listen but I can’t promise that I’ll know all the answers that you need. I promise to be there, but, I can’t promise I will always be able to do anything more than that.” Chaeyoung opened her mouth as though to say something but closed it again when she saw Lisa was about to continue.
“I can’t promise that I’ll be perfect Rosie,” she declared. “I can’t promise that it won’t be hard or difficult, but, I promise to try my best. I’m going to try my best because I’m committed to you and I’m committed to us, to weathering all life’s trials and tribulations together, to traversing the tumultuous waves during each and every storm, and to living. I’m committed to living Rosie, for as long as God’s grace permits me to do so.” Chaeyoung didn’t say anything for a moment, her brain trying to come up with something equally as moving to share in return. In the end, when nothing inspiring came to her, she settled on speaking the plain simple truth.
“I don’t know what to say,” she finally said, her eyes sparkling brightly, her mouth wide and showing her teeth as she grinned.
“Say that you’ll wear the ring,” Lisa encouraged lightheartedly.
“Of course I will,” Chaeyoung assured her, admiring the small silver band on her middle finger and everything that it signified, Lisa’s words pacifying her worries.
“You will?” Lisa asked.
“Yes,” Chaeyoung replied smiling, “because despite what you might think we are equal Lili and I love you so much.”
“You do?” Lisa asked her.
“I want everything that you said too,” Chaeyoung told her. “I want that future for us as well.”
“It’s not a pre-engagement ring,” Lisa reminded her, “Not exactly. It’s a promise ring. A promise that until the day that we’re ready to be engaged I’m committed to you and only you. I don’t want to be with anyone else when I’ve already found the one person that makes me happier than I could ever imagine.” Chaeyoung leant forward and kissed Lisa, her left hand reaching up to stroke at her girlfriend’s brow delicately, her fingertips brushing over the scarred skin beneath them. When they separated, Lisa leant in to Chaeyoung’s shoulder and the taller girl wrapped her arm around Lisa’s back, pulling her in to a hug.
For the next hour or so, they sat together eating the assortment of food which Lisa had packed for their picnic and enjoyed more jovial and frivolous conversation as they listened to the waves against the shore in front of them. At one point, Lisa wandered down the shore, Chaeyoung’s hand in her own and they paddled in the cool sea as it licked the coast line tentatively, both girls enjoying the feel of the sand against their feet as it brushed back and forth with the slow ebb and wane of the tide.
“Come with me,” Lisa prompted, pulling on Chaeyoung’s arm and leading her along the water’s edge and away from the remainder of their lunch.
“What about our things?” Chaeyoung asked, turning her head to glance back up at the basket uncertainly.
“Jennie will take care of it,” Lisa assured her, the free hand holding her converse swinging backwards and forwards as they wandered along the coast. Chaeyoung cast one quick look back over her shoulder, the picnic basket getting smaller and smaller behind them, Jennie’s form recognisable as she cleared everything up after them.
“How did you convince the others to waste their entire Saturday helping you out?” Chaeyoung asked Lisa amused as she turned her attention back to her girlfriend who was watching a boat in the distance.
“Who said that I needed to convince them to do anything?” Lisa asked in all seriousness.
“You mean they offered?” Chaeyoung questioned surprise.
“No, I mean that I asked them and they agreed without hesitation.” Lisa said.
“Why?” Chaeyoung queried. “Turns out I’m not the only person who loves you,” Lisa informed her, squeezing Chaeyoung’s hand.
“I’m not the only person that loves you either am I?” Chaeyoung acknowledged as she spotted Jisoo in the distance, the girl sitting on a bench away from the beach in an enclosed area for dogs. Chaeyoung noted Luca sat under the bench by Jisoo’s feet and she smiled, knowing that Lisa had set up this up as well.
“No,” Lisa agreed waving at Jisoo as they moved away from the water and up towards the landscaped area, “but don’t worry, Jisoo snores so she’s not much competition for you.”
“Good to know,” Chaeyoung laughed as they came up to the boardwalk and crossed over it to the grassed area behind, the two girls pausing momentarily to rinse of their feet and put their shoes back on.
“Fancy seeing you here,” Jisoo greeted as they approached, her eyes dropping down to Chaeyoung’s hand and a large smile gracing her lips at the sight of the promise ring on her finger. “I was just taking Luca here for a walk and we thought we’d have a little break, didn’t we Luca?” Jisoo crouched down to remove the leash from Luca’s collar and the puppy bound forward to jump up at Chaeyoung’s legs excitedly.
“Hey boy,” Chaeyoung greeted him happily, stroking the chocolate brown fur on the top of his head as he licked her hand enthusiastically.
“Thanks Jisoo,” Lisa said, holding out her hand for Luca's leash, the Korean girl handing it over reluctantly. “I really appreciate this. We won’t be long alright?”
“Take your time,” Jisoo responded as Chaeyoung lifted her gaze to meet hers, her lips curving in a smile at the smirk she found on the older girls face. “I’m not going anywhere.” She said, sitting back down on the bench, her arms stretching out along the back of it as she crossed her legs.
“That’s kind of creepy,” Chaeyoung commented, standing up, her hand wrapped round a nearby stick that she’d found on the ground and had picked up.
“I could be creepier if you’re not convinced?” Jisoo asked and Chaeyoung turned to throw the stick a little way, Luca rushing after it hurriedly.
“No that’s ok, you’re creepy enough already,” she chuckled reaching for Lisa’s hand and heading in the direction Luca had run off in, leaving Jisoo alone to watch them as they left.
“Here Luca,” Lisa called, crouching down low and tapping her knees excitedly, the small dog, turning his attention in her direction, the small stick in his mouth as he made his way back towards her. “Drop it,” she instructed and Luca obeyed, sitting patiently at Lisa’s feet whilst she picked up the stick. “Ok,” she said, throwing it again. “Fetch,” she said and Luca sprang up and vaulted off in search of it once again.
“Today has been perfect so far,” Chaeyoung told Lisa, linking her arm with her girlfriends’ when she was back on her feet beside her.
“Good,” Lisa returned happily as they followed after Luca. “That’s exactly what I wanted.” Lisa paused for a moment and Chaeyoung didn’t speak to fill the silence, recognising that the younger girl had more to say. “How perfect do you think it’s been?” Lisa asked and Chaeyoung smiled, meeting her questioning gaze.
“What do you mean?” Chaeyoung asked her. “There aren’t degrees of perfect Lili. Something either is or it isn’t.”
“Ok,” Lisa allowed as they came up to Luca who was chewing on the stick he’d chased, lying on his stomach, his paws outstretched in front of him. “Well, would you say it’s been a fairytale?” she asked as Chaeyoung bent down and picked the stick up, throwing it again for Luca to chase.
“A fairytale?” Chaeyoung asked her, standing back up, a small smile on her lips.
“Yes, a fairytale.” Lisa repeated, grinning broadly.
“Is this something to do with the fact that I called you my princess the other night?” Chaeyoung asked confused as Luca ran back to them.
“Maybe,” Lisa said knowingly.
“Maybe?” Chaeyoung asked amused.
“You’ll see,” Lisa commented before running off at full speed, Luca chasing after her gladly, Chaeyoung following the pair of them. They played with Luca, throwing the stick for him to chase and running around in circles excitedly, making him follow them until the small puppy lay down in the shade of a tree, finally tired out from his exertions, Chaeyoung and Lisa equally as exhausted. They rested a while, the two of them resting their back against the bark of a tall tree and their legs outstretched before finally standing back up, Lisa scooping up Luca in her arms as they made their way back to Jisoo who took him off their hands.
After saying their goodbyes, Lisa and Chaeyoung made their way back to where Somi was parked, Jennie now nowhere to be seen, their picnic things tucked away in the trunk of Somi’s car as the evening drew in. Somi drove the pair of them to the same batting cages that they’d visited during their group date, remaining in the car whilst the two of them occupied themselves inside, Chaeyoung assisting Lisa with her swing to help improve her batting average, the wooden club colliding more and more with the speeding ball with each subsequent one hurled in its direction.
“You’re getting better,” Chaeyoung praised her girlfriend as she removed her helmet and they made their way back towards reception.
“Maybe next year I can join the softball team with you,” Lisa joked, not for once believing it would be a possibility, her hand eye coordination being as it was.
“I’d like that.” Chaeyoung told her truthfully and Lisa nudged her playfully.
“Soft ball is your thing,” Lisa said, handing the helmet back to the guy behind the desk as Chaeyoung did the same. “I want it to remain that way.”
“You’ll come to the first came of the season next week?” Chaeyoung asked her.
“I wouldn’t miss it,” Lisa replied supportively. “Jisoo and I have already discussed making you a sign.”
“Are you serious?” Chaeyoung asked laughing at the thought of what Lisa and Jisoo would create if left alone to their own devices.
“Yeah,” she confirmed. “We’ve been talking about the use of puns.”
“Ok, so what have you come up with so far?” Chaeyoung asked interestedly as they made their way out towards the car.
“Well our personal favourite is, ‘Nice snatch Chaeyoung.’” Lisa told her, lifting both her arms and arching them in front of her like a rainbow as she said it. Chaeyoung almost choked on the air in her lungs at the pun, particularly the dirty double meaning behind it.
“Oh my God,” Chaeyoung said laughing. “You cannot use that,” she said seriously. “My parents come to my softball games.”
“Fine,” Lisa relented, pouting slightly as they came to a stop in front of Somi’s car. “We’ll get back to the drawing board, but, I can’t promise you what we’ll come up with will be any better than that.”
“I’m kind of counting on it,” Chaeyoung chuckled as Lisa opened the door for her to get in.
“Well thank you,” she said gratefully, descending in to the seat and shuffling over to allow Lisa in after her. Following their trip to the batting cages, Somi dropped them off for a quick meal at Jimmy’s before finally driving them to the American Airline arena on Biscayne Boulevard where she dropped them off and promised to pick them both up after the show. They entered the arena together, arm in arm and got something to drink before browsing the merchandise stand, Lisa buying both her and Chaeyoung a tour book each as a keepsake.
Finally, they found their way to their seats and waited for the show to begin, the lights dimming first as Joel Crouse took to the stage and then again for Ed Sheeran after a short break. Chaeyoung felt Lisa stiffen beside her for an instant in awe as she watched one of her favourite artists take to the stage and she squeezed her girlfriends’ hand, drawing her now wide chocolate eyes to her own.
“Happy Christmas,” Chaeyoung said grinning from ear to ear, her present for Lisa finally being experienced as she’d hoped. Lisa smiled brightly at the reminder and leant over the arm of the chair to kiss Chaeyoung as Ed Sheeran started singing up on the stage, the sound of ‘Give Me Love’ echoing through the arena around them, filling their appreciative ears.
Following his brief set, there was a short intermission before finally, the lights dimmed one final time and Taylor Swift appeared on stage, the whole arena erupting in loud applause and shouts as she sang ‘State of Grace.’ Lisa and Chaeyoung stood up and danced to her up tempo songs as she played them and sang along loudly to every heartfelt lyric, right up until Taylor introduced her next song ‘Today Was a Fairytale.’ Chaeyoung turned to Lisa and smiled, finally understanding her reference from earlier when they’d been with Luca in the dog park.
“You called me your princess,” Lisa reminded her, reaching for Chaeyoung’s hand and squeezing it, “and I called you my prince.”
“You asked me if today was a fairytale,” Chaeyoung said.
“Yes,” Lisa acknowledged.
“You were referring to this song?” she asked and Lisa nodded. “I was listening to it yesterday on the ride home from rehab,” she shared with Chaeyoung, “and it kind of fit us and our relationship, you know? Especially after you called me your princess and said we’d have our happy ending.” She said as Taylor started to play the guitar on stage. “ Chaeyoung stepped closer to Lisa and pulled her close, wrapping her arms around the small girl’s waist as she stood behind her as they faced the stage. Lisa covered Chaeyoung’s hands with her own, resting back against Chaeyoung’s body as her girlfriend lowered her chin on to Lisa’s shoulders, Taylor finally starting to sing the lyrics as they rocked side to side together.
“Today was a fairytale, you were the prince, I used to be a damsel in distress.
You took me by the hand and you picked me up at six.
Today was a fairytale.
Today was a fairytale.”
Lisa remembered the day of her and Chaeyoung’s first date, how she’d been the damsel in distress in every sense of the word before they’d met and even afterwards. How Chaeyoung had come along as her prince and saved her, bringing her slowly back to life having been numb and withdrawn since the accident.
Lisa recalled the way that Chaeyoung had waited in her hallway, how she’d talked to her mom politely until she’d come downstairs. Lisa still recollected the way Chaeyoung had offered her a hand and led her to her car, opening the door for her kindly and helping her inside. That had been the start of something special. It had been the first incredible date of many and Lisa could still feel the silent pang of excitement and nervousness in her stomach as sh remembered it.
“Today was a fairytale, I wore a dress, you wore a dark grey tshirt.
You told me I was pretty when I looked like a mess.
Today was a fairytale.
Time slows down, whenever you’re around…
Can you feel this magic in the air?
It must have been the way you kissed me.
Fell in love when I saw you standing there.
It must have been the way, today was a fairytale.
It must have been the way, today was a fairytale.
Today was a fairytale; you’ve got a smile that takes me to another planet.
Every move you make, everything you say is right, today was a fairytale.
Today was a fairytale, all that I can say, is now it’s getting so much clearer.
Nothing made sense until the time I saw your face, today was a fairytale.”
Chaeyoung remembered everything. She remembered the way she’d instantly been attracted to Lisa. The way that she’d felt when she’d first laid eyes on her, how she’d known even then that there was something special about her, that she could love her. The clarity of the moment had hit her like the softball which had momentarily knocked her out during her sophomore year.
Chaeyoung loved Lisa. She loved everything about her, the way that she was beautiful both inside and out. The way that her imperfections only seemed to make her more perfect. Chaeyoung loved Lisa’s natural beauty, the way she looked with no makeup, the way that she was stunning despite truly believing that she wasn’t.
“Time slows down, whenever you’re around…
But can you feel this magic in the air?
It must have been the way you kissed me.
Fell in love when I saw you standing there, it must have been the way, today was a fairytale.
It must have been the way, today was a fairytale.
Time slows down, whenever you’re around, I can feel my heart, it’s beating in my chest.
Did you feel it? I can’t put this down…”
Chaeyoung recalled the way that she had held the palm of Lisa’s hand against her chest to prove that she was real, the way her own heart had beaten furiously after they’d been together, the organ pounding firmly in her chest, reminding her that she was alive, that Lisa made her feel that way more than anything else ever could.
“But can you feel this magic in the air?
It must have been the way you kissed me, fell in love when I saw you standing there, it must have been the way.
But can you feel this magic in the air?
It must have been the way you kissed me, fell in love when I saw you standing there, it must have been the way, today was a fairytale.
It must have been the way, today was a fairytale…
Today was a fairytale”
“Ask me again?” Chaeyoung asked Lisa, tilting her head so that her mouth was close to her girlfriends’ ear.
“Would you say today has been a fairytale?” Lisa asked her as Taylor invited Ed Sheeran back on stage to sing ‘Everything has Changed.’
“I think it’s safe to say that it has,” Chaeyoung admitted, kissing the side of Lisa’s neck softly with her lips, her girlfriend leaning back in to her more closely, her fingers grazing the back of Chaeyoung’s hands which were still wrapped around her waist. They listened to their song for the first time ever live, the two of them standing in this way, entwined as they enjoyed the close contact, the simple gesture enough to make them both content in that moment. When it had finished, Lisa turned round to face Chaeyoung and kissed her, the younger girl’s hands reaching up to pull on the back of Chaeyoung’s neck to bring their mouths closer together.
“Happy Valentine’s day Rosie,” Lisa said and Chaeyoung smiled.
“Christmas and Valentines’ in one day?” Chaeyoung laughed and Lisa nodded her head.
“Anything goes in fairytales Rosie,” Lisa told her and Chaeyoung kissed her again.