"Ah!" I screamed, really loudly, and sat up extremely fast. My head was soaking wet, and so was my shirt. "What the hell?"
"Sorry, you weren't waking up with just the whole name-calling ordeal, so yeah, had to go through with it," someone said.
I looked up. I'm pretty sure it was Nash's brother Hayes. "Oh hi, you're Hayes right?"
"Yep. He told me to wake you up," he said, smiling. Wow, for being so young, he definitely had the looks going for him.
I groaned. "Alright, alright. Let me brush my teeth and take a shower, then I'll be downstairs."
After he left, I closed the door, until I realized that I'd left my bag downstairs that I'd tucked an extra set of clothes in. I went downstairs to grab it until I realized someone else was there too.
Just my luck, it was Cameron.
"Hey," he said, with some uncertainty in his voice.
I looked at him. And then looked back down again.
"Come on, Ashlyn, can't I at least get a hi?"
Okay. "Hi," I said, without looking up.
"Dang, the tension is so thick here, I can't even breathe," someone said. It was Shawn.
I just stared at him.
"What?" he said. "Just saying, I mean seriously, what's going on?"
I sighed. "I need to take a shower," I said.
And at the same time, Cameron stood up. "I have to go do something in my room."
Shawn just stared between us. "Alright?"
I left the room feeling extremely awkward, and ran back up to Nash's room. I brushed my teeth and took a quick enough shower. I put on my clothes, did my makeup, and brushed my hair in record time. I needed to get out of here.
I grabbed my purse and then again, ran back down. "I'm leaving," I yelled out.
"Woah, woah, woah. Not so fast. We still need to talk," Shawn said, coming out the kitchen.
"About?" I said, trying not to sound too stupid.
"Yeah, that sounded stupid," he said, with a light laugh. "Besides, you owe it to me, I think."
I guess I did. I mean he only meant to give me a little surprise, and it's not really his fault he didn't know Cameron and I knew each other. And then he'd even picked me up, when I'm sure he was disappointed.
"Fine. Give me ten, I want Kayla to be here too," I said. I needed some moral backup.
~
We were in the guest bedroom. Kayla sat beside me, while Shawn and Cameron sat in front of us. Yes, Cameron. Shawn had insisted that he be there, since he was part of the whole thing, and reluctantly, I agreed. I might as well let him how I feel while I have people around me, because, frankly, I think it's too early for the one-on-one.
Although, I'm pretty sure it's going to happen today.
"Okay, so let's start!" Shawn said, a little too cheerfully.
Cameron looked at me expectantly. Suddenly, he got up. "Wait, can Ashlyn and I talk by ourselves? And then we promise to tell you guys."
I glanced at him. What did I say before?
Shawn and Kayla looked at me. I shrugged. Guess I might as well get it over with. It's not like I hated him anyways.
"Okay then. Let's go then, m'lady," he said, offering his hand to Kayla.
"Oh, please," she said, ignoring it and leaving the room.
"Well then," Shawn said, in a sassy tone.
I laughed, and then quickly regained my cool composure. This is not the time to be laughing.
Cameron got up and closed the door behind him, and turned around just standing there, looking everywhere but me.
"Are you looking for something? Because I'm right here," I said, a little flustered.
He chuckled nervously. "Yeah, um, right."
"Well?"
"So, how've you been?"
Seriously? What did he expect me to say? "Oh, I'm dandy, thanks for asking. You?" I spit out. Whoops.
"Ashlyn I-"
"How can you ask me how I'm doing when it's obvious enough that I'm clearly not doing well. I mean, come on, the guy I considered my best friend, and then considered my crush, and then considered my ex-best friend, and then considered my friend," pausing there, taking a deep breath before continuing, "turned up to be my new friend's friend, and here I am in the same room as in after 3 whole years of absolutely no contact." I took another huge breath. "I mean, it's just a little shocking?"
He just stared at me, with a look of surprise on his face. "You sure can talk fast."
"Thanks?" I said, getting annoyed that's all he got from it. "Is that all you have to say?"
He sighed. "Look, I'm sorry, okay? I know that doesn't mean anything. I know that this is all strange for you-I mean it's strange for me too, okay? I didn't expect us to meet again. I mean, hell, I didn't even know you were in California!"
I laughed coldly. "That's the point. You never even bothered to call me, text me, anything."
"Well neither did you-"
"We both know that's not the point. You left me, I didn't leave you."
"I've been busy," he said, before realizing that was the complete wrong thing to say.
I stood up, getting angrier by the second. "You were too busy? Too busy to contact someone you promised it wasn't goodbye when you left? Too busy to contact someone you said you cared about? Too busy to contact me, someone you once considered your best friend? Fame getting to head, huh?"
I could tell I'd gone too far, because he stood up as well, and the nervous look gone, replaced with frustration. "Oh really? Your best friend? Maybe, but you made it clear enough I wasn't yours. Remember? 'I don't think we were ever best friends.' Those words came from your mouth, not mine."
"Really? What about 'I'm going to miss you so much. Don't forget about me?'? I think it's obvious as to who forgot who. I mean, you didn't even visit, like you said. I'm not the one who got famous and decided to leave all my good ol' folks behind because who needs them now right? You've got half the world worshipping you."
"My "fame"," he said, air quoting it, "doesn't have anything to do with this, okay? You need to learn how to stop blaming your fucked up emotions on me all the time. You're overreacting."
I stopped talking. That hurt.
His face softened. "Ash I-"
I turned around, tears threatening to spill. I grabbed my purse out of my bag, and ran out of the apartment. I walked and walked until I reached an isolated restaurant, where I sat down on one of the tables, and let the tears pour down my face.
"Honey, what's the matter?" a voice said, sounding like an old lady.
I looked up, but everything looked blurry because of all the water in my eyes. Sure enough, a lady, who looked pretty old, was sitting in front of me.
She smiled. "Want to talk about it?"
I tried to smile back. She looked really sweet. "I just saw my old best friend after 3 years. And, he never bothered to get in touch with me. So I assumed he didn't care. And now he's back. But then, now he just thinks I'm blaming all my emotions on him, and that they're just stupid, an-and that I'm overreacting," I explained, barely getting out.
"Did you like him?" she asked.
I looked at her, and I guess I wasn't so great at covering my surprise at how she knew because she just smiled at me with a look of sympathy on her face. "Sweetie, I may be old, but I was once young just like you, finding my way through life, not knowing what the next corner might hold. As I grew older though, I learned something that I might have learned too late, but I want people like you who still have a long life ahead, to know."
The tears had stopped now, and I was just silently listening to what she had to say. "What's that?" I asked quietly.
"You've got to stop holding back. Just say what you want to say! Do what you want to do! Life is too short to plan out every single action. And if this boy told you you're overreacting, then who cares? Your feelings are your feelings. No one can control those but you." she said, with a defiant look on her face. "I can't help but pity girls who think they can't live their life because of a certain boy. Let him go if he hurt you, he doesn't deserve you."
"But I don't hate him enough to do that."
She grinned. "Then don't! Wait for a while. Let him explain his side of the story. Have a conversation with him where one of you just talks and one of you just listens. Or take a break and then talk to him. Do whatever you want. It's your life, and no one can tell you how to live it but you, and that's something you have to realize."
I thought about it. Maybe she was right. "Wow, you really know your words. You made me feel so much better. I think I'm going to do that. Wait until we both cool down, and then talk with him."
"Do you still like him though?"
I was not expecting that. "No," I answered, truthfully. It wouldn't make sense to. 3 years was too much of a separation for those feelings to resurface, if they ever did, anyways.
"Well alright then, I think your friend's here," she said, pointing at the door. I turned around, and Shawn was standing there. God bless, he's always there for me. And I've only known him for like what, 3 days?
As I stood up and was leaving, she grabbed my head, and whispered in my ear. "He looks like a nice boy," she said, and then winked at me.
I knew what she was hinting at.
And maybe she was right again.
A/N:
idk if i like this chapter...comments?
& ship names!! because I'm sure you all got that ending right there
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thank u all for everything u guys seriously rock