Last school year: March
Hoseok woke up the next day already knowing that the next 24 hours were going to be rough. He had spent all night thinking about what he was going to tell Jin, and now he had a pretty good idea of what he wanted to say. His main goal was to try and not break his best friend's heart, but he still had a feeling he was going to anyways. What a great way to start off the day.
When Hoseok opened the door to head out, Jin was already standing on the edge of his driveway, waiting to walk to school with him. Jin still hadn't noticed he came out yet, so Hoseok just watched him for a few seconds, trying to convince himself that everything was going to be okay. After a few deep breaths, he pulled himself together and shut the door behind him.
"Morning," he said, walking over to him. Jin turned around, his face lighting up.
"Good morning, Hobi," he said with a smile. Before Jin could take his hand, Hoseok pulled away, his face looking down. He was too nervous to actually make eye contact with him. "What's wrong?" he asked, a frown forming on his face. Hoseok really didn't want to do this.
"It's about what I wanted to tell you yesterday," he said with a sigh. He could tell Jin was starting to get nervous too now, because his arms were crossed and he was tapping his fingers repeatedly.
"Look," Jin said, his voice starting to get shaky, "why don't you just tell me after school? We're running late and-"
"No, it can't wait anymore," Hoseok cut in. He didn't mean to sound so abrupt. but he was afraid Jin wouldn't listen to him otherwise. "I really need to just talk to you."
Jin let out a deep breath, then nodded his head like he understood. "It's about us, right?"
Hoseok looked up at him now, startled that he already knew. Had Jin been feeling the same way as him? Or had he just been way too obvious about how he really felt?
"I really like you, Hobi," Jin said, his tone of voice changing. He almost sounded like he was a bit frustrated now. "I know it was kind of weird when I kissed you on the night of that meteor shower, and I get that you probably had no idea how to react, and I also feel really bad that I put you in that kind of situation, but, Hobi... you kissed me back. How can you just kiss someone all night and then decide you don't like them afterwards?"
Hoseok desperately wanted to disappear. He had no idea why he didn't like Jin, or why he had kissed him that night either. He wished he could take it all back.
"I wanted to like you, Jin, I really wanted to," he said quickly, trying to read his friend's face. He was hoping there was something he could say that would make everything make sense, but his words were only making Jin tear up. "I just didn't have time to process anything that was happening, and I wasn't thinking straight."
Jin was clearly upset, but Hoseok hadn't expected anything less. What was he supposed to do now?
"You know you're my best friend, and I love you so much," he said, taking Jin's hand. He still refused to look at him. "So that's why I'm not sure if I can ever see you as anything more. This whole relationship thing has just felt so strange to me. I'm so sorry that I didn't just tell you sooner." Now he could feel himself tearing up.
Jin had been listening, although he was facing away. After a few moments, he wiped his eyes and pulled himself together, turning back to face Hoseok.
"Alright," Jin finally said, running a hand through his hair, "then if what you need is space, I'll give you space. I had a feeling something was off anyways," he sighed. "But could you just take some time to consider my feelings for you? That's really all I want."
Hoseok was shocked that Jin was being so calm all of a sudden. Was he really ok with all of this? He thought for sure he wouldn't want to speak to him ever again, but it didn't look like that was the case just yet.
"Besides, you must like me a little, right?" Jin asked, trying to tease him, but there was still a hint of sadness in his eyes.
"You're a good kisser, I'll give you that," Hoseok replied, and he really meant it. Even if he knew deep down that he didn't like Jin, his kisses had been enough to convince him otherwise the first night. "I'll think about it," he said, trying to give him a smile. Hoseok really didn't deserve him as a friend.
"Okay," Jin said, grabbing his bag and shifting it onto his shoulders. "I think I'm gonna walk to school alone today. I'll see you later, Hobi."
Hoseok watched him walk away, leaving the coldest atmosphere behind him.
a/n:
Hello! Thank you for reading this far! Hobi and Yoongi will be in the next chapter!