I had zoned out staring at the sun's rays on the discoloured floor.
The rays just reached my trainers, making my untied shoelaces look yellow in its light.
PD-nim had told me to wait outside his office. Leaving me to suffer outside by myself.
The idea of me joining this group wasn't something I came up with, nor was it one of the 7 boys in the room in front of me.
some "higher management" had called for me to be added. Pd-nim joked that it was the bank.
Adding another member to the companys only group was a gamble. But everyone above thought it was a good idea.
All the paperwork would be finalised this week. All the stuff i didn't understand.
Before now i had not yet met the members. But in minutes i would. From what i had gathered, through all the mangers words, the boys weren't happy. The managers didn't tell me anything they said. So i could only assume they were angry.
I could understand why they weren't happy. Bringing some random kid into your group didn't spark joy. I already felt intrusive.
I moved my gaze up at the ceiling. one of the tiles was missing and I entertained the thought of climbing up and escaping the building completely. As time ticked on, this became less of a thought as I wondered if the janitor's cupboard had ladders.
I then tried to be nosy, by holding my breath, seeing if I could hear the conversation inside the room. It was tormenting to be sitting staring at the frosted glass before me.
Then the door started moving and I panicked standing up awkwardly. Hitman bang's face peaked round and he smiled goofily, gesturing for me to come forward. His facial expression screamed 'come on in they don't bite'
His smile was slightly skewed. This was a bad omen.
I laughed awkwardly as he pretended to pull me by a string into the room.
I tried to prepare myself before I peeked into the room but I was already being pulled in.
There was a horrible silence.
The first person I noticed was a broad shouldered guy. He was the only one stood up. He had a handsome face, full lips and pretty eyes.
Handsome was an understatement and with his good looks I was pushed further back into my pit of worry.
He noticed my eyes on him and he bowed. "hello my name is kim seokjin" he smiled and i felt a tiny bit better as he spoke, as i noticed how soft his voice was.
I bowed quickly, not wanting to hold eye contact. "hello"
Pd-nim started a speech that only when i had my eyes closed, did it sound comforting.
I had now accidentally made eye contact with someone most definitely younger than seokjin, perhaps the youngest here. His face held a glare and I shivered.
They all just stared at me. I smiled slightly at one, but he wasn't having it, he turned his eyes away, like how a cat does when you do something it doesn't like. I s
"-i hope you make him feel welcome" pd nim smiled and looked at all the members.
There was silence for an uncomfortable 30 seconds until someone broke it.
"If you could introduce yourself, That would be great." It was a boy seated next to who I believed to be the youngest. His voice was deep and slightly intimidating even though he wasn't shouting.
I hesitated, a lump forming in my throat.
I nodded. "hello, my name is Jang jisung" i didn't really know what to say and my voice sounded unnatural. I watched the floor with great interest, a tiny spider crawled cross as my heart tried to return to its normal self.
Hitman bang beamed at me, clearly so proud that his little jisung had introduced himself. He could be extremely annoying sometimes.
"great- now I'm sorry guys i have to go, ill get your manager to dismiss you later, I've got go to a, meeting regarding jisung" he smiled. He seemed way to cheerful. The meeting was probably about sorting out my financial situation but I don't know how a company that had to remove over a hundred trainees due to money could help.
"oh and jisung, remember-" he stopped and leaned on the doorframe, doing a smiling gesture. I raised my eyebrows but nodded.
Smile at what? The floor? The spider? He already knows this won't work.
Its unfair Because i fear if i make eye contact with another-
"hello!" one of them appeared out of nowhere, i hadn't noticed him before but i had now.
"im park jimin" his smile only got bigger. "aw you're so cute!" he gushed. I was taken aback at his comfortability. I hesitated a little, not sure what to do.
Someone snickered behind him
"yoongi don't-" jimin hissed, hitting his shoulder. Yoongi stood up and nudged Jimin slightly, indicating that it was his turn to introduce himself.
"min yoongi" was all he said. He made it a point to look down on me.
I nodded avoiding eye contact. I really don't like this.
He gave me a pointed look, noticing my lack of response from my eyes.
How could I miss his eyes, he was shoving himself in my face, but I still stared at everything other than his eyes. He kept staring. I finally looked at him, biting the inside of my cheek to hold back a snappy retort. I think I would have to learn to shut my mouth. At this, i felt a surge of anger.
I looked into his eyes, holding them. Trying to read him, but at the same time trying to get him to piss off if i glared at him long enough.
Something appeared in his face, probably some sort of realization or conclusion.
The other members shifted in their seats and there was silence. They all seemed to be glancing at someone who was behind Seokjin, but I couldn't see his face completely.
The person got up. He was tall, taller than anyone else there and unreadable face. But he soon smiled. Dimples.
"Hello, my name is Kim Namjoon, I am the leader of bts" he bowed, quite deeply too.
"umm how old are you?" he asked. He was extremely tall, but he Seemed gentle. It seemed he was taking one for the team. He looked stiff and awkward as he waited for a response.
"19. I was born in 1996" i said looking him in the eye as he seemed safer than then yoongi.
"I'm your hyung then" jimin said, still looking at me.
Jimin was suddenly jerked back to his seat. It seemed the guy with the deep voice was pulling him back into his seat.
"taehyung stop-'' Jimin hissed. Taehyung had a blank stare, it was strange, he didn't show any emotion i could read, his face was empty. His fist however was clenched. So much so that his knuckles were white. Taehyung whispered something to jimin who then finally backed down and sat on his hands.
I guess that's it for introductions. The rest of them didn't seem to want to introduce themselves. I repressed an eyeroll.
A headache was forming due to the stress so I went and sat on the stool, a bit away from the group.
"Kinda rude don't you think?" Taehyung whispered to jimin, but the room whole room seemed to hear it. I laughed, but I quickly slapped a hand to my face to wipe the smile away.
"You're not talking" namjoon said apprehensively and i was getting the feeling that he was starting to dislike me.
I'm doing so well!!!!!!
"What do you want? I seriously don't know-?" I said exasperatedly, forgetting my anxiety. We are all socially inept.
"I've introduced my self? No clue who you are though " i nodded my head in taehyungs direction. He coloured slightly, slinking back.
They all stared at me blankly. "It's not like you're the best for conversion-"
"Tsk" Yoongi said, turning away. "Brat"
Me? Look at the gremlin besides you who is giving me evils then who is the brat-
"So jisung" seokjin said clearing his throat.
He looked like he was taking one for the team. He was trying to fool me with confidence he didn't have which led me to suspect he was an introvert trying his role at being an extravert, trying to make it easier for everyone else.
"What's your position?" He said his voice still soft.
"rapper, but in my last group I was a vocalist too." I said.
He nodded while yoongi Namjoon and someone else who had failed to introduce himself exchanged some looks.
"Last group- what were you kicked out" the youngest said leaning forward.
I sighed.
The whole group didn't work out. It wasn't like bts. We had all known each from being trainees and got along fine but as soon as we were made a group it all went downhill. We disbanded within 3 month after one member tried to strangle another in practise.
Luckily we never debuted or it would have been a public dispute. I was out having a smoke at the time so i didn't get to see it.
Something i regret to this day was not seeing that fight.
Would of gotten a good video too...
"No. we didn't work out." I said simply. He ignored my response. rude.
"Crazy fan or something" i heard taehyung whisper to the younger, clearly something they didn't want me to hear. They snickered while I rolled my eyes growing bored of sitting around.
The-boy-who-failed-to-introduction-himself was staring at me, making me feel like i was being placed under microscope.
rewritten , again and again