Kim Jaerin
I'm sitting on the corner of the practice studio as I sat quietly, not uttering a word. I stared at the older trainees that I'm training with as they talk with their friends.
I fidgeted my hands with the rim of my white shirt as I bit my lip, not knowing what to do. An almost empty water bottle in hand, I drank the remaining content of it as I wiped some water that dripped.
There are a small number of girls around, and they're talking to each other, smiling widely like they know each other for a long time.
It's the 5th day of training and I barely uttered a word to anyone. I don't know how to approach them, and I'm shy and nervous to talk to them. I don't have friends yet so I always sit on the corner,
I'd nod and shook my head whenever they ask me questions, I'd sometimes say a small yes as an answer. They'll look at me with weird looks, as if I was someone unique. Like I'm different.
"Everyone! Today's practice is cancelled, you can now go to your dorms and rest." Our vocal coach said as everyone stood up, grabbing their things as they bow to our coach.
I, sat still on my spot, not moving an inch as I watch everyone went out, with their towels placed on their shoulders, or around their neck. Duffle bags on their shoulders as they smiled to their friends, and their back drenched with sweat.
"Kid, aren't you going?" Our coach, Ms. Yuna asked as my eyes widened, not knowing what to answer, "I-I'll stay here for a while.." I quietly answered as her brows furrowed as she hesitantly nodded,
"Don't forget to close the lights and lock the door, alright?" She said as I nodded as she walked away after sending you a quick glance.
I stood up and brushed my shorts, I sat down in front of the huge mirror as I closed my eyes and hummed to an unknown beat that just went to my mind. The sound that I made calmed me, like I'm on my own world.
I sniffled as I rubbed my nose using my fist, I opened my eyes as I saw my own reflection in front of my own eyes. My dark brown eyes and my messy hair that has the same shade as my eyes,
I watch as a sweat rolled down from my temple, everyday is a new step closer my dream. Every breathe is a new step and every actions that I make is a new step. When I open my eyes every morning, when the sun shines on my face, it's a new step towards my dream, it's not an actual step, but I'm considering every actions of mine, a step closer.
I rubbed my eyes as I sighed, I brought my knees to my chest as I embraced it, I placed my face between my knees as I formed a fetal position.
I took my phone out as I looked at the date, July 5, 2011. My birthday is just around the corner, and I guess I'll be celebrating it on my own, or I won't celebrate it.
I cracked my knuckles before standing up to leave the studio. I brushed my shorts again before grabbing my things, not knowing and not paying attention that my shoelaces aren't properly tied, I tripped as my knee landed on the cold floor, making me wince in pain.
I stood up again as my leg trembled, but I still managed to walk. I carefully tied my shoelaces as I continued walking to the exit. I closed every lights as I closed the door before walking to the building exit.
___
It's the next day, and we're just practicing our dance moves in our usual practice studio. We're drenched in sweat, because we're practicing harder today because of the cancellation of training yesterday.
"5,6,7,8!" Our choreographer said as we started dancing, I stayed with the beat as we finished the routine. The music stopped as the studio became filled with our heavy breathings as we pant tiredly.
I swallowed even though I don't have anything in my mouth, my palms are placed on my knees as I used my sleeve as a towel.
"Great Job, everyone! Take a rest for 10 minutes!" He said as we all went to our own spots, doing our own things.
I sat down on the corner again as I fanned my sweat using my hands, I leaned my head on the wall behind me as I stretched my leg and spread it on the floor.
Time passed quickly as our 10-minute break is finally, over.
"Stand up, everyone. Let's continue the training!" Our choreographer said, breaking the silence as all of us stood, side by side forming a horizontal line.
Our dance coach, Dae Sunbaenim, stared at our line as he eyed us one by one, his hands on his hips as he squinted his eyes, trying to form an idea. He looked at his watch to check the time, I saw his eyes widened as he realized that it's nearly time to end the practice.
"So," He started as we focused our attention at him, waiting for him to continue,
"Thank You for cooperating well with today's training. I can see the burning passion in your eyes, all of you. So, please continue to work hard to reach your dream. You can now go," He smiled as we all bowed, ready to leave.
He went to where the speakers are as he disconnected his phone from the speaker, I was about to leave when he called my name, "Kim Jaerin, please stay for a minute. I have to talk to you,"
I stood there, as I thought about the actions that I made, and if I did something wrong.
"Please sit down," He smiled warmly at me as I obeyed him, he sat down in front of me, his legs crossed.
"Did I.." I started as he shook his head, he waved his hands, telling me no.
"No, no. You didn't do anything wrong. I want to talk to you because I can see the passion not only in your eyes, but also in your heart." He said as my eyes widened, shocked because of the compliment. I smiled at him,
"I can see that you work hard, to achieve your dream. You're the youngest here, yet, you amazed me with your talent, Jaerin. You're one of the best trainees here, so I want you to continue working hard, okay?" He said as I nodded, "Yes, thank you sunbaenim."
"Kid, you're going to debut, trust me." He said as my eyes widened, I've only been here for a week, and I just started training, won't it be unfair for the other trainees?
I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out. I'm only thirteen, turning fourteen, and I still have so much things to learn, there's so much ahead of me that I had to fight for, and I'm not yet ready to debut.
He was about to say something when someone knocked on the door, gaining his attention, I continued staring at the floor with a bothered expression.
"Sunbaenim? Mr. Bang is looking for you in his office," A boy that has a weird accent said as Sunbaenim nodded his head.
He stood up as he pat my shoulders, smiling. I looked up at him, "I'll be going now, Kim Jaerin. Fighting!" He said as he did the fist thingy.
I nodded as I bowed to him, he left the room with his things as I was left in the studio again, alone. I groaned as I laid down on the cold floor, arms spread out on the floor as I closed my eyes.
I stayed there for a while before opening my eyes, I sighed as I scratched my head.
I stood up and collected my things, and for the second time, I didn't pay any attention to my untied shoelaces as I walked towards the building cafeteria to grab some snacks, I still have vocal practice, and I'm starving.
Suddenly, I felt my foot being dragged backwards as I stumbled forward and landed on my knee again, ouch,
"Oh!" Someone exclaimed as I carefully stood up, grabbing the things that I dropped on the floor.
He stepped on my untied shoelace, causing me to stumble down and drop my things, his water bottle is now on the floor, it's content pouring out of it's container.
I looked at him as I saw a boy, he looks like he's older than me by a year or two. He knelt down as he helped me pick the things up, he helped me up as he examined my knee, "Are you okay?"
I nodded as I bowed, "Yes, I'm sorry for bumping into you," I apologized as I saw the spilled water on the floor, "and for spilling your water," He smiled at me then ruffled my hair.
"It's fine, I'm sorry too. Your knee is bruised, and don't worry about my water," He smiled and looked down to my shoes, I was about to kneel down to tie my shoelaces when he beat me to it.
My eyes widened as he started tying my laces, he tied it skillfully as he gave a pat on my shoe, he tied it really good, not too tight, and not too loose.
He stood up as he ruffled my hair again, making it really really messy.
"Tie your shoelaces next time, okay?" He smiled sweetly as I nodded and bowed, thanking him again.
"Bye, Tie your shoelaces! I'll tie it for you again when I see your laces untied!" He said before running to a studio, maybe they're practicing, and he's thirsty, I feel bad.
I went to the cafeteria as I now have a different errand to do, I'll replace the water bottle that spilled. I'll feel bad if I won't.
I went to the vending machine as I inserted a coin and pressed the code for water bottle, "H... 6... 9... 2...O!"
A water bottle rolled from the machine as I took it and placed it carefully on my bag, securing it to make sure that it'll be safe.
I went to my vocal practice first as it's nearly starting, and I don't want to be late again and leave a bad impression on our coach.
I went inside the studio, followed by our coach. We started practicing our usual routine, just some voice exercises, and breathing exercises.
"Jaerin, you can do this," Our coach encouraged me as I nodded, the note is too high, I'm afraid my voice will crack.
I drank some water as I swallowed it slowly, I closed my eyes as I tried to hit the note, I sang the note as I reached the note and even higher as my eyes widened in shock, but soon, it was replaced by a smile on my lips.
Murmurs were heard throughout the studio as our vocal coach look proud, as she nodded at me, telling me that I can now go, and I did a good job.
"Wow, she's so good.."
"She's so talented, I want her voice, I can't even reach the note that the coach tells me to reach, she'll pull that off easily, I'm telling you."
"She has my respect, now.."
I smiled as I heard their murmurs, I sat down on my usual spot as I looked at the water bottle that I bought for the trainee that I met, well, he's the first trainee to approach me.
I looked around and saw that a boy beside me is taking notes and practicing quietly, probably nervous. He's holding a grey post-its and a black pen,
I pressed my lip into a thin line as I approached him slowly, "Hello," I greeted as his eyes widened, I saw how his finger trembled as the pen he's holding nearly fell.
My heart beat like crazy out of nervousness, is there something in my face that made him react like that? Am I scary looking?
"Ah, Can I borrow your post-its and pen?" I asked as he nodded, he handed me the post-its slowly as I smiled and thanked him.
The water bottle is too plain, and I wanted to put a letter with it.
Mr.---
No, too formal! I bit my lip as I thought about what to address him,
I shook my head as I wrote another apology as I sticked it to the water bottle as I smiled.
I gave the materials that I used back to the trainee as I thanked him and smiled, he smiled back and bowed, as well.
"Thank You for you hard work, everyone! Please rest and see you tomorrow!" Our coach said as we all bowed and pack our things, the other trainees immediately went outside, exhausted after a whole day of training.
"Sunbaenim?" I called her as she smiled, "Yes, Jaerin?"
"Do you happen to know a a male trainee that maybe this tall," I estimated his height from what I remember, he's really tall,
"He has a black hair and his smile looks like a rectangle, and he has a deep voice." I asked as our coach laughed,
"You mean Kim Taehyung? Why?" She asked as I nodded, "Where do you think I can find him? He d-dropped something, and I want to give it back to him." It's just a white lie, it won't hurt, right?
"He's probably in the cafeteria or in the studio where you and the others practice dancing." She answered and thanked her before leaving.
I went to the cafeteria first, holding the water bottle with the sticky note,
I arrived at the cafeteria, and it's empty. I sighed as I went to the studio, nervous and afraid that I'll embarass myself.
I stood on my toes as I peeked on the small glass that's located in the middle of the wooden door, there are about 9 boys inside.
I saw a familiar face and instantly thought that it's him, I sighed as I knocked on the door, waiting for someone to open the door.
The door opened as I saw a tall boy that has a round face, "Yes?"
"Oh, is Taehyung S-Sunbaenim in there?" I stuttered as my cheeks flushed red, my satoori accidentally slipped and my words sounded weird.
"Taehyung-ah! Someone's looking for you!" He called as he closed the door as you sighed,
Taehyung Sunbaenim came out with a confused look on his face, but the moment he saw me, he immediately recognized me and a smile is now plastered on his lips.
"Hey, what are you doing here?" He asked as he smiled
"I'll just give this, I'm sorry for spilling your water, Sunbaenim!" I bowed as I gave him the water bottle, he smiled and I saw him reading my messy handwriting.
"I told you, you don't have to," He smiled and ruffled my hair again, is ruffling someone's hair is his habit?
"I'll go now, Sunbaenim! Have a nice day!" I bowed again as he smiled, waving slightly towards me.
"Yah! Go home safely!" He said as I nodded and smiled, I felt warm inside.
It's been long since someone cared about me,
© staerryniights
— kookarchives