Kim Jaerin
I rested my head on my palm as I looked at the blurry scenery outside. It's raining and the bus is moving fast, making the view outside more blurry.
The bus passed many cars, shops, and people that are walking down the road. I grabbed my tumbler from my bag as I drank water from it.
I wiped the water that escaped my mouth as I placed my tumbler back to my bag.
My shirt is drenched in sweat, I just finished performing on the streets for more money. I love it how they clap for me, when they praise me and tells me how good a singer I am, it just makes my heart melt. I love the feeling of it.
I'm living with my Grandparents and they're too old to work, and I know they can't afford my school tuition, so I perform on the streets to help them even for a bit.
I gathered my hair that reached my back as I tied it into a ponytail, I wiped my neck as it was too sweaty and uncomfortable.
I exhaled as I heard the large rain drops that falls on the roof of the bus that I'm in.
The bus came to a halt as everyone stood up and prepared their umbrellas because of the heavy rain.
Before standing up, I searched for my umbrella but unfortunately, I forgot to pack it.
I pressed my lips into a thin line as I got off the bus, rain drops falling on my head.
As if luck wasn't on my side, the rain got heavier as my vision got blurry because of the heavy raindrops. I rubbed my eyes as I removed the water that got into my eye.
I knew I'm going to be sick but I have to get home or else my grandparents will get worried.
I walked home even though I wanted to run, because my teacher said that we shouldn't run when it's raining.
I'm drenched with rain and good thing that my Grandma bought me a waterproof bag instead of a stylish bag that everyone in my class has.
There are no kids my age in our village so it's always quiet. It got a nickname of Elderly Village because the elderly are the ones who usually lives here.
The rain finally stopped but the sky is still gray in color. The weather is still gloomy.
As I was walking to our house, I heard a pair of shoes tapping on the ground. It's getting closer and closer to me so I walked a little faster. It might be the Elders who adores me because I'm the only teen in the village. They give me treats as if I was a kid.
And I was right, because the footsteps faded. I reached our house as I locked our small gate.
I wiped my shoes on the doormat in front of our wooden door to remove the mud.
I placed my old Converse shoes on the shoe rack that's placed near the door. We should place our shoes there to avoid muddy and dirty shoe marks on the house. My Grandma hates it. She's a neat freak, and scolds us whenever she sees a shoe mark even a tiny bit of it.
I went straight to my room as my wet clothes is making me uncomfortable, it's sticking to my sweaty skin, making it more uncomfortable.
I quickly took a warm shower, and changed my clothes afterwards.
I sat down on my bed as I opened my bag and placed another business card from another company that wants to cast me.
I stared at the white card, thoughts swirling on my mind. Even though I'm only 13 years old, turning 14 next month, my dreams are very realistic. I don't want to be a doctor nor an engineer.
I lied down on my bed, still holding the white card that might change my future. It might be the start of my brighter future or not.
I want something that I'll enjoy while doing it and I want something that I know I'm capable of. I want it to be realistic, but sadly, Grandma is forcing me to be a business woman, just like my father.
I'm not really into business stuffs, and I'm just in 7th Grade, barely holding up. I don't really know what I want to be when I grow up,
But I want something that I'm really passionate about, I want something that I love doing. Just like how I love performing.
With that thought, I immediately got up from the bed, I felt every beat that my heart made, and butterflies growing on my stomach. A smile formed on my chapped lips, excitement grew on me.
I want to be an idol. I want to perform just like how my idols do.
I finally made up my decision, and the next step is to find a company that can capture my heart.
"Rin! Dinner!" I heard Nana said as I kept the business cards in my cabinet, where the other 3 business cards are.
I've been getting them since yesterday, but I haven't found the right company, yet.
**
I'm beside Nana, drying the dishes while she wash them.
Nana knows that I perform on the streets, but she doesn't know that I earn money from it.
"Nana?" I called her as she hummed, Nana and Pops raised me and they knew me very well, more than my parents. My own parents doesn't even know what my favorite color is, and it makes me sad that I didn't have the chance to be with them.
"What if I want to be an idol instead of a business woman?" I asked her as she stopped washing the plates, she looked at me and I looked away, afraid that she might scold me.
I know how much she wants me to be a successful business woman, she wants me to have my own company, so that I can have a bright future. But that's what she thinks.
I don't think I'll ever finish studying if I pursue a career that I'm not even interested in.
"That'll be great, Jae! I'll cheer for you and go to your concerts, I'll be happy with whatever you want, Jae." Pops said between our conversation.
I smiled sweetly at him, "Thanks Pops. I love you!" I shoot hearts to him and he playfully caught it and kissed it as we laughed together.
"That's amazing, Jaerin, but I still want you to pursue business, okay? We don't want to waste that smart mind of yours, alright?" Grandma dried her hands as she finished washing the dishes, leaving me with a towel and many wet plates to wipe.
"Jae.." Pops said as I looked at him with a frown,
"Do you really want to be an idol?" He asked as I nodded, performing makes me happy.
"I-I, I just don't understand why Nana keeps forcing me to be a business woman. Why can't I have my own dreams?" I placed the plate down as I sat down on the chair, tears threatening to fall.
I want to be free, I want to have my own decisions, and dreams. Why can't Nana understand that?
Pops tapped his long nail to our wooden table, it's his way to grab my attention.
I looked at him as he smiled, "Look, Jae.. I know your Grandma is very strict about your dreams. But don't let her get into your own dreams, okay? I want you to be what you want to be. You shouldn't let others get on your way, okay?" He comforted me as I smiled and nodded
"Go on and finish drying up those plates. We'll talk about this tomorrow." Pops said as he kissed my forehead.
Pops has been like this since I was young, he wants me to achieve and have my own dreams. He wants me to be independent in this world full of challenges and obstacles.
However, Nana has been telling me since I was young that she wants me to be someone successful, she wants other to look up on me.
I finished drying up the plates as I arranged them carefully.
I went up to my room as I prepared to drift off to the dreamland. I turned on my nightlight because I can't sleep when it's not open.
I looked straight as the moon and star stickers on my ceiling glowed, I raised my arm as I pretended to reach them.
I closed my eyes as I placed my arm down, then I drifted off to the dreamland.
I still have a long day ahead of me.
© staerryniights
— kookarchives