A few days had passed since they branded him. By now, the pain was gone. The moment he was out of sight of the others, he slipped a leather bracelet over it so he was no longer confronted with his burnt flesh. Juice had given it to him two days ago when he noticed that Raine kept staring at it. The others would go mad if they knew a Son had given him the bracelet but to Raine, it was a sweet gesture. For him, this was a reminder that Juice would always be on his side, no matter how shitty he felt. It had been a rough couple of weeks, but every obstacle made them stronger.
Raine bent over to tie his shoelaces. His working day was over. He had taken a quick shower — the only thing he still used his clubroom for — and he was about to pick up Sasha from daycare. Sammy had college until late and she wouldn't be home before dinner. He would make sure there were leftovers for her.
Just when he was about to get up, the door swung open. The only one who entered his room unannounced was Esai, but their friendship had changed so much he was surprised to really see him.
"You see lover boy tonight?" Esai slipped a hand in his pocket and leaned against the door frame.
Raine didn't answer. He didn't plan to see his boyfriend tonight, but it was none of Esai's business. In silence, he stood up, looked around to see if there was something he wanted to take with him, and grabbed his keys from the desk.
"See you Monday," he muttered.
He wanted to rush past Esai, but the man stepped aside to block the doorway. "Wait."
His voice sounded surprisingly soft. Raine raised his eyebrows.
"You got plans for tonight or not?"
Raine shrugged, giving Esai a compelling look.
"If you don't — maybe we can hang out? You know — like the old times?"
Raine hesitated. Esai actually sounded insecure, which he never was. After their years of friendship, Raine thought it would be easy to read him but it was harder than expected. At a rapid pace, they had grown apart. Deep down he hated the way it worked out. Perhaps it wasn't too late. Maybe the damage could still be repaired.
"Yeah, sure." Raine offered him a small smile.
"Awesome. I'll pick you up after dinner."
. . .
Raine had mixed feelings about it. How would Juice feel about it? It had been Esai's idea to beat the shit out of him. Nevertheless, he felt relieved too; the past days it had felt like had lost so much and this gave him hope that his life could still go back to normal.
He had just put Sasha to bed when the doorbell rang. Sammy was still eating at the kitchen table. A while ago she broke the lease of her apartment because he was so often from home, and he didn't want to contact a babysitter the whole time. Sammy didn't mind, he knew she enjoyed spending time with her niece. It made her feel closer to Rosa. Apart from that, he told her he wanted to leave the club as soon as they would let him, so she knew this was just a temporary solution.
"I'm leaving," Raine said.
She turned her face towards him and smiled. "Have fun."
"Yeah," he said softly. Fun. He indeed hoped they would have fun. A strange sense of nervousness sneaked through his body. This felt like the ultimate test for their friendship. If this whole night would be awkward, it would indeed be over.
There was another ring at the door. Esai had never been the most patient person on earth and if he would let him wait much longer, they would start with a handicap. He pulled open the door. There was indeed annoyance in his eyes, but he said nothing. Whether it was a good sign or not, Raine did not know. They used to tell each other everything.
And you're the one who stopped doing so.
He felt a stab in his stomach. If the tables were turned, he would have been upset about Esai's secrets too. Would things have gone different if he had told Esai the truth? He swallowed a sigh. There was no point in dwelling on it any longer. There was nothing he could do about it.
"Hey," he said.
Esai nodded to him, a basketball was clutched between his elbow and hip. "Thought we could shoot some hoops?"
Raine nodded, relieved they had something to do. About ten minutes from his house was a basketball court where they'd played a lot as kids. On their way to it, he caught Esai peeking at the bracelet around his wrist. Did he judge him for wearing it?
"I didn't agree," Esai said after a while. "With the brand." He didn't look him in the eye. "But Martinez called you a traitor for taking a Son to the clubhouse."
"Taking him to the clubhouse," Raine huffed. "You dragged him there."
Esai avoided his glance. "You let him stay." He sighed. "Anyway — I just wanted to let you know I had no say in it. I had to stay out of it because you're my best friend."
The words hung heavily between them. My best friend. And Raine told him nothing while he did tell Angel who was also a Mayan. Yet, it had always been easier to talk to Angel. Esai always distracted him when he needed it, and Angel was the one he had serious conversations with.
"I wanted to tell it," Raine muttered. "When I was in Santo Padre, I gave it a lot of thought. About how to tell y'all. But by the time I was home, it was too late."
Esai kept silent, bouncing the ball now and then. A few times he seemed on the verge of saying something, but in the end, he didn't manage to say anything before they reached the basketball yard. Soon, the attention shifted to the ball game and they didn't stop before it was too dark to see the ball. Contrary to him, Esai had taken a bottle of water with him, which he offered to Raine. Slightly panting, they hoisted themselves on a stone wall. His shirt was sticking to his back. It had been a long time since he had done this and it had done him well. Did Juice like basketball? They'd never talked about sports — except for motorsport.
From the corner of his eye, Raine peeked aside. Esai was remarkably quiet tonight.
"I know you got questions. Just ask 'em."
Esai answered his glance. "I just need time to get used to the idea of you banging a guy."
Raine shrugged. He would eventually. Or not.
"So — have you, uh, had feelings for a guy before?'
"No."
Esai looked at him with somewhat squinted eyes. "Not even for me?"
Raine laughed in disbelief. "What?"
"I'm your best friend. I look good. It's hard to believe that you fell for that idiot but not for me."
Raine studied his face, which was dead serious. "Are you disappointed because I haven't fallen in love with you?"
"Fallen in love?" Esai repeated, laughing. "Dude. You talk like you're 13."
Raine felt his cheeks glow, he was glad it was dark. He nudged his shoulder. "Just let me be in love."
In the street light, he saw a glimpse of a smirk. "You're blushin', huh?" Esai started to laugh. "Can't believe it. You're totally over the moon because of a Son."
"Because of Juice," he answered a little agitated. He wanted others to see him as a person too. Juice was so much more than the club he was part of.
"Fine. Juice."
Raine showed his friend a grateful smile.
"So... How did it happen? You found each other on an app for gay bikers?"
Raine rolled his eyes, then he told him about their meeting in the hospital and how they met each other again at the fundraiser. "The connection we had... It's always been on another level than our other friendships, although it took a while before we both understood our feelings. At first, we just wanted to be friends — or that's at least what we told ourselves. But when he was about to date someone else — I couldn't stand it." During his story, he messed with the little buckles of the bracelet Juice had given him. It was downright strange to talk about this with Esai.
"So that Skye girl was just some cover?" Esai huffed. "And he was the one who was at your house? Who was in the shower?"
A vague smile crossed his lips as he thought back to that day. Juice had been so nervous he had really taken a shower. Later that night, they had kissed for the first time. "Yep."
"And that time you ended up in the hospital — you had been with him too?"
Raine nodded slowly.
A silence fell. Then, Esai asked with an annoying grin: "Lemme guess. He's the female?"
"There's nothing female about his body," Raine assured him. He however felt which direction Esai was going and he didn't like it.
"You know what I mean. That's a thing right? The male and female roles? Or do you take turns?"
"What's that to you?" Raine huffed.
"I'm just curious."
"Too bad for you."
It was something between Juice and him, just like their decision to wait until their wedding right. Esai would laugh in his face if he found out, but to Raine, it meant a lot. His mother was gone, she wouldn't be at their wedding. Yet, he believed it would make her smile that they would give each other everything that day. Their loyalty, their love, their bodies. Their lives. That's how love's supposed to be, she would say.
At the thought that Juice would become his husband, his stomach fluttered. No clubs between them, a whole new life for them... It sounded like a fantasy. But one that would come true. One way or the other.
"You wanna have a beer at the clubhouse?" Esai suggested as he realized that he wasn't going to get dirty details.
Raine hesitated. He wasn't exactly in the mood for the condemning looks of the others.
"You secluded yourself from the others, brother. Maybe it wasn't intentional, but you gotta fit in again. Before you do, they won't forgive you."
Not forgive you. Raine bit his cheek. By now, it felt more like he had to forgive them. Esai however was right. He needed to learn how to behave around the others again, he had to make sure they would trust them. Only then, they would respect his wish to leave.
. . .
Juice must have a magic dick, for Raine clearly got it bad. It didn't sound like a whim. After a good beat up they still stuck together and Esai feared the consequences for his friend if their relationship persisted. He didn't want him to do stupid things because of his feelings for the Son. This whole thing between Juice and Raine needed to end as soon as possible. Before it was too late.
And since they'd been friends since forever, Esai knew that he was the one who had to help Raine. The plan had been in the back of his head all day, yet he had hoped to have a conversation tonight which proved that things weren't that serious between Juice and Raine. But he had been wrong. Every word Raine had said about that guy, had lighted up his face. It felt as if his friend was under a spell and he hated it. Sooner or later, this was going to be his dead and Esai would never be able to forgive himself. And that's why he needed to do something about it. Something that would make him feel guilty too, but with that sort of guilt he was able to live. The alternative was more frightening.
At least, that was what he was telling himself as he dropped a pill in Raine's glass and waited until it dissolved before he got back to the pool table. His friend had been nervous to enter the clubhouse, but after four drinks he was getting looser and became more talkative, reminding him of how his friend used to be. He'd missed this side of him.
Girls grouped around the table. Esai's hand nonchalantly rested upon the tight ass of a brunette with a complicated name. Her friend had bleached hair and a charming smile. Her top was so tight her breasts protruded, but to his annoyance, his friend paid no attention to them. How as it even possible? You gotta miss something like tits, right?
Destiny however was interested in Raine; now and then she slipped her hand across his back and she'd even sat on his lap. For a moment Esai had hoped that there was no need for the pill — until Raine pushed her away when she started to give him a lapdance.
Esai hit a ball and smiled at the brunette, who wrapped an arm around his waist and kissed his neck. His hand slipped underneath her skirt to grab her ass while he watched how Raine put a purple ball in the hole. Damn it. Even after a few drinks, he was still focused.
"You're too distracted by the ladies," Raine smirked as he glanced at Esai's sour face.
And you too little.
He was just in time to hold back his tongue.
"I have everything under control."
"Uh-huh."
Raine shot another ball in the hole. Two more and he'd win.
Ah well, this game was just a means to an end. Ten more minutes, maybe twenty... First, he would have an energy boost, then the lights would go out.
. . .
It took a little longer than planned, but about half an hour later Raine couldn't stand on his legs anymore. He giggled stupidly and Esai wrapped an arm around his shoulders.
"Think it's time you go to bed, hermano. You drank way too much."
Raine chuckled. "Yeah — but it was a good night, huh? Although it would even have been better if my boyfriend was here. You would like him. You really would." Raine leaned into him while Esai supported him, although he was close to slapping him in the face. With a little bit of luck, the name Juice would be forgotten soon. With his eyes, he ordered the prospect to help him.
Phantom gave him a brief look while he wrapped an arm around Raine and helped him towards his bedroom. There, they dumped him on the bed. He fell asleep before his head hit the pillow.
"Take off his clothes," he ordered the younger man. "All of 'em."
The man stared at him. "W-what?"
Esai frowned as his cheeks turned pink. He raised his eyebrows. "What? You get hot for guys too? Damnit — I'm startin' to think it's an infectious disease."
"No man," Phantom answered agitated. "But undressing my brother?"
"Believe me — you do him a favor."
The door opened and Destiny entered the room.
"There's some help."
Esai went to the hallway to wait. This way, it felt like he kept his hands clean. It took almost ten minutes before Panthom left the room. The grimace on his face told Esai how mad he was.
Esai grabbed the boy by his collar and slammed him against the wall.
"You drugged him!" Phantom burst out.
"He'll survive."
"Tomorrow morning he'll think he cheated on his boyfriend. This is disgusting!"
"Listen to me, brat," Esai grumbled, bringing his face closer to the other. "I do what needs to be done. And you're gonna keep your mouth shut or I will strip you of your patch and toss you out on the streets. You got that?"
Phantom looked away.
Of course he understood. Esai was ten ranks above him.
"You got that?!" Esai snapped.
"Yeah," he muttered, his eyes cast down.
"Good. Don't think you'll get away with a mark when you are disobedient. A filthy rat doesn't live long."
Esai pushed the boy away, who skedaddled as fast as he could.
For a moment Esai stared at the door behind which Destiny was crawling on top of his friend.
"It's for your own good," Esai muttered.
Then, he started looking for his own entertainment for tonight, hoping to find distraction from the heavy feeling in his chest.