Why do bad things keep happening?
Maybe that's how the universe works.
Throughout the weekend I failed to step out of my bedroom. I didn't even tell the Philips office I couldn't lift my ass and start off my internship on Saturday.
Oliver tried to stop by incessantly. He even banged on the door of my house. I was grateful my sister caught a bad signal that had happened. She forced Ollie not to come for such period of time.
But yesterday, he managed to break through the barrier I inserted.
He suddenly climbed up my room like a crazy stalker. There were fears and fatigue that mixed with frustration when he tried to talk to me.
"I'm really sorry about everything, but you have to understand why I'm still doing it." He said, moved one step forward to reach my face. "I'm always looking for ways to keep Sara out of your reach."
I sliced his hand out raw. "Don't touch me." I said coldly.
"Chloe, the day you went to Pennsylvania, I was looking for what Sara was going to do. I got a clue that there was another man who helped A.D. to kidnap Hanna. Sara and Jenna were looking for a way out to stop the game and get out of town. Sara scared of this man."
"Why are you telling me this?"
"Because I know this is the way to help you out and you can get out of this bloody mess." His words sounded curt.
My eyes watering again. I didn't know what to do to him because I wanted him to stay but at the same time I wanted to throw anything at him.
"You lied to me." Tears streaming down my face. "You trapped me in the warehouse and you tricked me. You seduced me when I was drunk to slept with you at the party. When I let my guard down, you drop my bracelet and drop it in the church." I said, elaborating the facts I just realized I had been through.
His eyes looked at me sadly. "Chloe—"
I shook my head while raising my hand, warning him not to approach. "The bracelet is my mother's gift." I rubbed my eyes with both my hands and looked at him again. "You'd put the threat memo from A.D at the Montgomery's wedding. Sara and A.D told you to stay with me so you could deliver what they told you. You're just disgusting than what I thought you were."
Realizing my anger made him shrink. His gaze fell down. His eyes danced and when he looked up to look me in the eyes again, there were sadness that hard to bear.
"I'm a selfish bastard. I did it all to survive. And I did it so I can have a reason to be with you. But I swear, when I decided to out of the game, I gave back the money. That's why I sold my motorbike." The pleading in his eyes was just as bad as my crushed heart on him.
We both mourn the revealed secrets that lead us to fragility.
"I never thought you would do something like that." I said in a choked voice. "I think I look too much at you. How could I recall our relationship as something real? A relationship cannot be built behind a lie."
"I know. I just want to protect you even though at first I almost destroyed you." He rubbed his eyelids. "But the only truth that is real is that I love you."
"I don't want to hear it." I covered my ears with my eyes closed and my head shaking my denying. "Just go or I'll call the cops."
He approached me but I stepped back. He stopped immediately.
" Now get the hell out of my bedroom and never come near me again."
He didn't move
"GET OUT!" I snapped.
I stayed up until four in the morning. When I was taking a shower to get ready on going to school, I squatted repeatedly in the closet to spit out all my guts.
Even though I try my best to getting ready and trying to dress up neatly, it didn't work. I'm sure my appearance looks crap because Hanna and Emily staring at me as if I had just fallen from the sky.
"Umm... morning, Chloe." Emily tries to greet me.
"Morning, Em." My voice sounds like a broken radio. Even so, I keep applying jam to my white bread.
"You look like crap." My sister says.
"Thanks, I am flattered."
"Have you slept?" Emily asks. Maybe she pays attention to my eye bags.
"Yeah. For like an hour." I say.
"Are you sure you want to go to school today?" My sister asks in concern.
I lift my head briefly to look at her. "Pretty sure."
"Do you wanna talk about it?"
"Nope." I say after putting down the knife. "Not sure what to talk about."
"I heard you shouting last night. And I think I also heard Oliver's voice. You guys fighting? What happened?"
I quietly didn't answer to that one and focusing on biting my bread.
"Are you two alright?" Emily trying her best not to sounds so curious. If only she wasn't the closest person to my sister. Maybe I will definitely give her cold shoulder.
"Not quite."
"You guys broke up?" My sister's blurting out her theory. I don't think she is asking anymore but needs clear clarification from me instead.
"Does it matter?" I murmur.
Emily moves to the coffee table to collect some of the files she had to bring to school. I remember her telling me that principal Hackett had offered her to be a coach for the girl's swimming team.
"Alright." Hanna scratches her temple with her index finger. "If you need a friend to talk to, I'm all ears. But are you really sure to go to school today?"
I roll my eyes and groan. "There is nothing to talk about, Hanna. Why don't you just drop it? "I say loudly. "And yeah, I'm sure. I'm leaving now. "
I grab the jacket behind the door of Lucas's apartment. Hanna and I had agreed to move here since she wanted to focus on her work and get a suitable place. Besides, Emily chose to live with Alison now.
"Wait." Emily prevents me. I lazily turn around. "We're leaving together. I'll start my first day today. I'll give you a ride."
I scan my sister over Emily's shoulder. She nods a little, a sign that I'd better take Emily's offer.
I scoff . "Fine."
"Alright." She smiles and stepping out to the door before me.
"But, don't ask me to call you coach Fields or Ms. Fields, please."
###
During the day at school, I was not in my best attitude. Every time teachers explain the lesson, my focus was always floating to another place. And the worst was when I was in Alison's class, I drifted into deep slumber. When she told me to wash my face and go back to class, I just left and didn't come back.
I didn't see Oliver showing up at school today, which means it's a good sign because I'm just too tired to push him all the away again.
The giggling laughter caught my attention. I put back the bottle to my pocket and look at the sound source. It didn't take long for me to roll my eyes seeing Addison and her flock gossiping and laughing at something. Usually her friends just laugh when they hear something or do something, which I think is very stupid.
But from the corner of my eyes I saw the source of whose their laughing at. My head turns automatically to Claire, the deaf girl who keeps looking at the floor as she's trying to bite her apple.
Claire knew she was being ridiculed.
She glanced at Addison's table and looked down afterwards. It didn't take long for me to carry my food tray and walk to occupy the empty seat beside her. She was surprised to see my sudden arrival but I only raised my eyebrows with a thin smile.
"Do they bother you?" I ask her cautiously.
Claire shut her eyes and look down in blush. "No," she says with a tongue-tied tongue. Luckily I always knew what this girl had said every time she spoke in geography class.
"Well, then stop looking down and eat up with me." I say, trying to sound relaxed even though it failed. I'm like a crazy boss who orders her pet.
"W-why do you want to do this?" She looks up slowly, fixing her glasses.
"What do you mean?"
"Where is Oliver? You usually always sit with him and his friends in the canteen." She says haltingly.
Hearing his name being mentioned, I turn my face away. I immediately look at her again when I heard her gasp and looking down again.
"Sorry. I didn't mean to be rude." Her face blushes. I think she thought I was bored because she didn't see Oliver in the canteen. Or maybe she was aware of the sudden change on my face.
"Never mind." I say.
She is not that bad. I wonder why other kids seem to avoid her. She is not stupid and knows what people say to her. She has a hearing aid in one of her ears.
Maybe it's the society who's wrong.
"Where is Gracia?"
"She's with Trevor." That's right. Before going to the cafeteria, Gracey told me she and Trevor were going to the library.
There are no more conversations left after that. I let her finish her apple while I try to finish my sandwich.
"I'm Chloe. Marin." I say, drive away the awkwardness.
There's a slight smile on her lips. "I know. We have a class in geography and Spanish."
Charles Taylor along with one of the seniors who I don't recognize passed our table. When his eyes lock with mine, he smiles and nod his head at me. "What's up, Marin?"
Even though I was surprised why he suddenly greeted me, I could only reciprocate. "Sup, Taylor."
As they passed, I see Addison suddenly looking at me sharply. She, who had previously giggled by her own chattering is now staring straight at me with a look of dislike. I heard she and Charles broke up.
Well, before that happened she really didn't like me. I don't know why. And I don't care either way.
"Do you know what sights to look at? A deaf girl and a bitch are at one table and chatting like a close friend. Looks like Patrick and Spongebob reunited."
Two of her friends put their hands in their mouths to hold back from laughing. I turn to Claire who's lowering her head down again. Either she heard it clearly or not, I think she knows that she is being bullied.
And this cannot be left alone.
"Can I help you there?" I say to them. They suddenly stopped laughing.
"No. We're good here, Marin. Maybe you can ask your question to a friend beside you." Addison exclaims. Her finger pointing at Claire.
Claire twisted her finger underneath the table and her face grows red.
"Maybe the one that needs help is your brain and mouth." I say casually.
A gasp sounded floating. Apparently, some students pay attention to us.
"What did you just say?" Addison looking at me in annoyed.
"Oh, so now you are the deaf one?" I glance at Claire who was stunned. "I think it's more suitable for you to get used to it, Derringer. Somehow I think you need it more."
Some boys hollering 'wow'. I can tell they're enjoying this rare scene.
"Watch your mouth, freak." Addison warns me with a threatening look.
"Well, I can't. I needed mirror to do that. But I guess you're the one who should totally check up in the mirror."
All of her friends at the table gasped at me in disbelief. I have always been silent and avoiding stupid conflict, but today is my day of exclusion since I knew my life was a mess.
"What the hell is your problem, Marin?" Addison rise to stand up. I thought she would walk over to me but she held back and stay still.
"Nothing. Just leave this girl—"My thumb pointing at Claire. "The hell alone, would you?"
"Aw look at this." She grins with her arms crossed over her chest. "Two of the strangest girls in school are united. The weirdest one is defending her soul sister. Is that some kind of perverted ritual that you do?"
I roll my eyes and fight back the urge of groaning when some students suppressed their laughter. One of them recorded us with his camera.
Seriously, dude?
"Yeah. But the one who had a perverted ritual here must be you. Consider you're getting all hammered in your v-card. It must be hard to find someone else to nail it in the right way, right? After you got dumped on your ass and turned up under the bus. Need help to patch the blue-balls?"
The male students all in cheer hearing my attack. One of them shouted "burn!"
Addison face's turns into bright red. Her bench was pushed back as she's trying to approach me. Willa who's behind her starts to pull her arm back.
But Addison remains in her position that seemed to want to strangle me.
Claire squeezes my hand harder. Her face looks pale and she shakes her head at me. Her eyes staring at me as if saying 'What are you doing?'
"You have to stop letting her step on you like that again." I yell-whisper to her. Either she heard it clearly or not, I think she can read it through my lips.
I stand up and come over to Addison as she almost take any step further to me. But suddenly the pull of a strong hand holding me back. When I turn around, Seth glaring at me with a ghost look.
"Don't make any scene here. You could be sent to the principal's office." He concludes, half whispering to me.
"Why do you care?" I say, spontaneously breaking away from him.
To be honest, there's a feeling of annoyance I had hidden from him since I walked away from his house the other day.
The other students gathered around us, preparing to wait and see another scenes that might break out. But that didn't happen yet, someone's loud voice almost dissolved mass.
"What's going on in here?"
We all suddenly look at Paige McCullier, the chief of staff in the athletics department coming to us. Emily is trailing behind her and landing her attention on me.
Great.
If she knew there would be a big commotion maybe she would report it to my sister.
I take a glance at Addison while raising my eyebrows. Waiting for her to give an answer to Paige.
She sights and pretend to smile at me. "Nothing Ms. Mccullier. Chloe and I were discussing the party at Hadley's house this Friday. I invited her personally."
I refrain from moaning. Which is where it failed. I immediately nodding my head to convince Paige that what the bitch had said was true.
Paige watching us back and forth. Emily participate in analyzing us.
"Alright." She says. The weak evidence won't be enough to make her drag us to Hackett's office.
The mass broke up and the situation back to normal. Shame.
Paige left us, but Addison stepping closer to me. "Just because you have Alison and Emily on your back here, doesn't mean I give a shit about that. You heard me, Marin?"
I guess sooner or later all the people at school know that Emily and I have known for long.
Addison is the type of girl who knows other people's business.
"Blow me," I say sarcastically. "And fuck off." I shake my head and moving aside from the canteen, away from these idiotic people. I send a glance in Claire direction as she smiles at me.
###
A man with grayish hair came out of the office, carrying several colorful document folders.
I sigh for a moment and lowering my sight down to gather up my courage. Actually this is the time when I wanted to just go home and shut myself in a room. Every time I step up, Oliver was always haunting my mind and that makes me want to break down any time soon.
Whatever I want to do feels lifeless, but I've felt enough to keep messing up my life. At least this is what I should be doing.
Philips education consultant's office is not that big. There's one receptionist who greeted me with a friendly smile. This young woman can't be older than 21 years old.
"Hi, there. Can I help you?" Her smile brightened. She is quite beautiful, her skirt is too short but it shows how smooth her skin is.
"Umm... My name is Chloe Marin. I should have started on Saturday for a work experience program from Rosewood High School. I would like to know if there is still another opportunity for me, please?" I explain at length with a nod in each sentence.
"Oh, I see. I thought you could discuss it directly with Miss Philips. It just so happened she had just returned. Let me confirm your arrival first."
While she was busy reaching for Yvonne, I look around me at the interior of this office. There is a machine for making coffee and tea and there is a bookcase in the corner of the room near the air conditioner.
"Okay, Chloe. You can come in to Miss Phillips's room now." The woman's voice caught my attention again.
I cursed myself for not paying attention to the name on the nametag that was floating around her neck: Christine Albert.
"Right — thanks Ms. Albert," I say, resigning in front of her to a room covered by a door and bearing the name Yvonne Philips.
I knock on the door slowly. After hearing a voice to invite me in, I turn the knob while holding my breath.
Yvonne is typing something on the computer. When our eyes meet. She frowns and then smiles broadly at once. "Why are you still standing there? Come on in, Chloe."
With a little awkward, I smile back to her. She doesn't seem to mind. There are small bandage on her temple and wrist. It seems like she recently had an accident.
"Hi, Miss Philips." I greet her.
She is gesturing me to sit across her. "Oh, Chloe, you know, I'm no longer apprenticing as a counselor guidance at your school." She says, still with a smile.
I think the smile culture in this place is embedded specifically.
I smile, slightly affirmed. "You are right." I pause for a moment to clear my throat. "I apologize for not being able to confirm my absence on Saturday, there is something I couldn't left behind and I—"
She waves her hand to give me the requirement to stop talking. "Do not talk about it. I can understand. After all, if you came on Saturday, it wouldn't be completely formal. This office only operates every Monday to Friday."
I nod, rubbing my neck to repel my awkwardness. "Oh really? Then why on Saturday?"
Yvonne types enter on her computer then turns her attention to me completely. Her professional attitude was interspersed with the hospitality she exuded. The last time I could recall, she wasn't this bright. It seems like her career is going well. Lucky her.
"It doesn't need to be that tight on me, Chloe. We've known each other. And that's my reason why I accepted you for the school internship program here," She says. "I deliberately arranged it on Saturday because I wanted us to be more relaxed and not in a hurry."
I remember we used to interact a lot, but we weren't that close.
I try to pull a smile and hope it wouldn't make me look terrible. "Glad to hear it. I don't think this would be difficult. What will I do while I'm here?"
She's narrowing her eyes and her gaze rise slightly. "You can fill the Positions that are not yet available— I mean not part of the general staff, but I still need a personal assistant at a certain time."
My eyebrows jump to rise instantly. "You mean as... your P.A?"
She looks doubtful but nod slightly. "That kind of thing. Since you will do an internship at least once a week. I'll make it worth fifteen-dollar lunch money in each attendance. What do you think?"
"I think that's great. I never thought I would get paid." I say with a smile that I could have prepared. "But does that mean I'll help everyone around here?"
She chuckles. "Depends. I don't work that much. There are three education consultants in this office and they are quite competent in their fields. Don't worry, I'll show you the rhythm and you're going get used to it."
I nod slowly again. "Okay... well, thank you."
"You don't need to wear formal clothes. I mean, it's enough to wear decent and polite clothes. And also, when it just only us two, you can call me by my first name."
"I'll try to get used to that part."
We fell silent into each other when she got a text notification on her phone.
Since I back to this town, I have had heard a lot about her family. Her mother was a former senator candidate who competed with Spencer's mother. And from the local news circulating, Yvonne was engaged to Toby Cavanaugh — Spencer's former boyfriend.
Ironic.
"When did you come back to Rosewood." Her question diverts me.
"Um... before the school started. I'll start my senior year soon. It's only few months away."
"Hmm.. Time passed quickly. When we first met it seemed like you were a freshman."
"Yeah. I was."
She just nodded understandingly. Maybe it's not her place to ask personal detail. "You do have time, don't you? Soon the office hours are over. What if we discuss this internship over coffees?"
"Sure. That would be nice. "
She's bickering a smile. "And also, there are many things we have to talk about. You used to help me a lot with my college papers, Chloe."
It is true. I helped her a bit for research back when she was having internship as a guidance counselor at Ravenswood high.
"I did?"
She nods firmly. "You're very observant and smart in processing. I think it's a good time to try to get along again."
Somehow the twinkles in her eyes seems to tell me that all this had been arranged and she was so happy to see me again. Or maybe this is just my feeling.
Even so, she is a good person.
"Yeah, you can be right." I say.
She stands to the ground and walks past me to get her purse on the small couch near the window. "Then, let's go."
I walk along with her. As she passed Christine, who's still in her place, Yvonne discussed something briefly with her about work. After that she signaling me to follow her out of the office. I pull another smile as Christine said goodbye.
We walk side by side to the coffee shop near the office. Not as big as The Brew but comfortable enough to be visited.
The Bell rings above our heads as Yvonne opened the door. A female waiter greets us and invite us to sit at an empty table near the counter.
Yvonne excuse to the restroom. The female waiter pouring black coffee in each glass provided on the table.
"After deciding on the menu you would like to order, you can call me." She says in thick Latin accent.
"Sure. Thank you."
My intention failed when the incoming e-mail notification vibrates in my jeans pocket. I grab my cellphone and I see who the sender is.
I feel the lump in my throat as I read who was the sender.
FELICIA JONES
She replied to the e-mail I sent her when I quietly stalked her on Facebook weeks ago. I didn't know what was I thinking, but surely it was worth to risk for.
IS THAT REALLY YOU, CHLOE?
I'M ABOUT TO GO TO PHILLY ON FRIDAY. MAYBE YOU'LL SEE ME THERE.
Shit. What can I hope for?