It has been ten days since I last saw Xavier. He doesn't attend any classes. He doesn't come to school. Nathaniel and Alec make sure not to talk about him in front of me and stay by my side all day trying to make me happy and smile.
And I am. I am happy. Or that is what I want people to believe.
Of course I am still hurt. Of course I still cry at night for hours but atleast I don't run away from my feelings. Atleast I am going on with my daily life and haven't ghosted people.
I can't let people around me be worried about me when all the damn problem was in me. I was the one who made all the mistakes.
I made a mistake of not giving up on him earlier. Still holding onto him. Still caring for him when all he did was push me away. Not noticing me.
But you see, you never learn until you make mistakes. And I know better to learn from them.
"It's been a while since I saw Xavier pick you up for school. Is everything okay between you two?" Mom asked as she sat in the chair opposite to mine.
I was about to have a mouthful of my bread when I put it back in the plate and got up from my chair,
"I'll get late." I muttered before taking my bag and leaving for school.
I could feel the confusion on my mom's face as she stared at me awkwardly. She was still processing what just happened. Before I got out I heard her yell,
"But it's still half an hour early"
I closed the door behind me as I walked out. A gush of wind passed by making me shiver a little. I rubbed my arms lightly before looking up at the sky.
It was colder than most of the days. And guess what? Yes, I will wait here outside until Alec shows up.
Not by my wish of course. I could always go on my own or ask Brian to pick me up...come on he is my friend, the least he can do to pay me for being such a good friend to him is give me a ride school.
But I am suppose to wait for Alec especially today that I came out half an hour earlier.
I cursed at the cold weather. Of all days it could have picked to be cold...mother nature chose today.
"You are early." I heard a familiar voice.
I snapped my head to the front to look at him. I haven't seen him since the party. A huge grin made it's way onto my face as I ran and wrapped my arms around him.
He laughed before hugging me back and lifting me up a little, "Look at you." He huffed, "Did you just become heavy in these last ten days?" He laughed.
I hit him on the shoulders before demanding him to put me back down,
"I am just kidding." He chuckled before putting me back down.
I stood in front of him-- grinning before hitting his arm, "Why are you always here to pick me up whenever I am early?"
I asked remembering the first time he came to pick me up for school. We both were early. Just like today.
He shrugged his shoulders looking down at me with his grey eyes twinkling, "What can I say? I am your guardian angel?"
I shook my head trying to suppress my smile. I was so glad to see Luke after these days. It just reminded me that not much has changed since that day. Except the fact that a few thorns were removed and a few broken pieces were laid.
"Come on." He rubbed his hands together, "It's getting cold. Get inside." He said opening the car door for me just like before.
I smiled softly before getting in.
As soon as I was inside I watched Luke go over and get inside too.
"Are you cold?" He asked as he closed the door.
I blew some air over my hands shaking my head, "Not much."
He turned the heater on, "Why don't you just go inside and grab something warm?"
"Hell no. I am not going inside. I just ignored my mom. You don't know but if I go right now then I am not sure if I'll make it out." I looked at him seriously.
He chuckled in response.
Does he think I am joking? Cause I very well am not.
"Well in that case....I do have something for you." He grinned at me before turning in his seat and reaching out for the back seat. It wasn't even a minute later that he sat back in his seat with a jacket too familiar in his hands.
I stared at it before looking at Luke. He held the jacket out for me to take while I shook my head in denial. It was the same jacket Xavier gave me on the day of the party. It was the same one which was left back in Luke's car because Xavier gave me ride home.
I faced away from it and looked in the front, "I-I don't want it."
It just bring back memories. Not the good ones.
"Why?" He asked keeping the jacket on his legs now.
"You don't know what happened Luke." I murmured closing my eyes.
"I do."
I opened my eyes to stare at him, "Then why are you still giving me this?" I asked referring to the jacket.
He sighed before a small smile appeared on his face, "Do you remember the first time I met Xavier?"
I nodded my head in affirmative.
"He whispered something in my ear." He stated.
I remember. I remember very vividly the way he whispered something in Luke's ear and I never found out.
"I know."
"Do you want to know what he said?" He asked seriously.
I gazed into his grey eyes before my eyes momentarily moved towards the black jacket sitting on his laps.
"No." I shook my head still staring at the jacket, "Don't tell me. I don't want to know."
Cause it will only make things worse for me. I just want to keep Xavier's image just as it is in my mind-- cruel, ruthless. I don't want even a slight chance of someone breaking it and giving my heart a chance to go back.
"Why?" Luke asked with confusion.
"Because we are done Luke." I replied, "Not everyone can make things work."
"But-"
I looked at him hard making him finally shut up. He nodded his head before falling quiet.
"Why are you here anyways?" I asked staring in the front.
Luke looked at me once before revving the engine, "To pick you up."
"What about Alec?" I asked.
He kept his finger on his lips as he smiled to himself. I rolled my eyes at him. Something was definitely up with them.
"What about Emily? How are things working between the two of you?" I asked.
He turned his head towards me before grinning at me, "Thanks to you, we are back together."
I jumped up in excitement, "That's great Luke!"
Though I was a little envy. Just a little but I was. How do people get to have such easy and normal relationship? Why isn't it the same with me?
All the way to school I listened to Luke talking about Emily. Even though it was fun to listen but the way his eyes lit up whenever he talked about her was something else.
I wish I could see the same look when the person who loves me talks about me.
He parked the car in the school parking lot and got out of the car before coming to my side and opening the door for me.
He still does it.
I stepped out of the car while Luke ran his hands through his dirty blonde hair once before looking around in search of something.
"What are you looking for?" I asked looking around myself.
He stopped before covering my eyes with his hands, "Nothing."
I tried to remove his hands away from my eyes, "It isn't nothing."
He kept his hands stable on my eyes before asking me to start walking,
"Seriously? I can fall down. You are willing to risk my life?"
Luke pressed his hands tighter around my eyes making me yelp and trying to kick him in the air.
"What is even going on?" I asked getting impatient while he made me walk god knows where.
He finally stopped making me stop too. I could hear fairy t voices and people talking around me.
What was going on?
Luke slowly but steadily removed his hands away from my eyes. I opened my eyes only for them to be greeted with the sight in front of me which was unforgettable.
Brian was standing there with a guitar in his hands while Nathaniel was on the drums. I still can't wrap my head around the fact that they brought the freaking drums out here in the open.
Evie. Oh boy, she knows how to play a piano? Damn, are they all this talented from the very beginning or am I just getting to know them now? How didn't I just know about it?
"What's going on?" I asked with a wide smile on my face. Many students had circled around us as they waited too.
Alec was standing in the middle with a guitar of his own too,
"Liya." He spoke loudly, "....'Lean on me' by Bill Withers. Just for you."
Even though Alec didn't say much I could hear a thousand words in that short sentence.
I couldn't help but feel warm as they struck their chords all at once. They were doing this all for me.
"
Sometimes in our lives we all have pain
We all have sorrow
But if we are wise
We know that there's always tomorrow
Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on
Please swallow your pride
If I have things you need to borrow
For no one can fill those of your needs
That you won't let show.
"
I felt Luke's arm on my shoulder as he rubbed them in a reassuring way. I looked up at him and couldn't help myself from hiding the fact that I was getting emotional.
"We are all here for you." Luke whispered in my ear as I gazed at Alec singing, looking at me with his sky like eyes. My eyes shifted to Nathaniel, Brian and then to Evie. They all were grinning down at me with warmth.
I wanted to cry. I wanted to cry not because it was paining just like these past ten days but because I was too happy. Too glad to have these people in my life.
These people whom I call my friends. Who are here for me no matter what.
Luke. Alec. Brian. Evelyn. And Nathaniel.
I doubt I would have been able to do anything without them.
I couldn't take it anymore as I ran towards them and hugged each and everyone of them.
I couldn't help but be moved by their gesture to cheer me up. I couldn't help but notice that they knew that I wasn't actually fine.
And I love them about it.
"We love you." Evie whispered in my ear before hugging me back as tightly as possible. Brian, Alec, Nathaniel and Luke joined us too as they tried to hug the air out of us.
I could hear the people around us going all awe while I didn't care about them.
°°°°
I splashed some water on my face before staring at myself in the mirror. I noticed the bags under my eyes before sighing.
I helped myself with a towel before wiping my face off any signs of water. I dabbed the towel on my face before looking up at the washroom ceiling and allowing my mind to have random thoughts.
I hanged the towel back in its place before exiting the washroom. As soon as I was out, I couldn't help but notice Alec laying there on my bed-- busy on his phone.
"I am fine, Alec. I don't need you to babysit me anymore to make sure that I am fine." I laughed as I went and lay there beside him.
He was silent for a while before putting his phone down and turning his body towards me so that his face was facing me, "Those bags aren't growing out of nowhere." He commented referring to my lack of sleep.
"Oh come on." I huffed.
I stared above while Alec was still looking at me. We both were silently continuing to stare at our respective subjects before I closed my eyes,
"It's weird." I muttered.
"What's weird?" He asked with a hint of amusement in his voice.
I opened my eyes and looked at him momentarily, "Your eyes concentrated on my face."
He laughed lightly before averting his eyes and going back to look up with me.
I bit my lip before turning my head to look at him nervously...I wondered if I should ask Alec about him. I know I shouldn't care about him anymore and I don't. Really I don't...I am just curious.
"Who's the weirdo now?" Alec laughed turning his head towards me.
His baby blue eyes met mine as we both gazed into each others eyes.
"Did you talk to him?" I finally whispered.
There was a smile on Alec's lips a moment earlier which wasn't there to be seen anymore.
"No." He stated.
There was no need to mention his name. He knew whom I was talking about.
I nodded my head at him before going quiet. There was an awkward silence between us.
I fidgeted with my hands thinking about how to make it any less awkward when he sighed,
"We both tried everything to contact him. Initially we were just mad at him for what he did to you but as the time passed we became concerned about him. He doesn't pick our calls. Doesn't let anyone see him. Makes his mother lie for him when we ask her to let us meet him. And I don't know how to feel about it anymore. Xavier and I have been friends for so long now that," He got up from the bed and sat there looking down at the floor now, "even if I want to stay mad at him. I can't help but be concerned about him. Cause I know that Xavier has the potential to build this wall around him which can be difficult to break."
I got up from my spot while sitting beside him and wrapped my arms around his shoulder in a reassuring way. I know very well about the walls Xavier can build around him but the thing is I never understood why did he even need them in the first place?
Alec's phone came to life as it blared beside him. He excused himself while I removed my arms. He looked down at his phone before snapping his head at me.
"Who is it?" I couldn't help but ask at his reaction.
He didn't say anything. He just turned the phone towards me to read. I read the caller name and looked back at Alec with wide eyes.
He handed me the phone while I tried to give it back. He shook his head before looking at me hard,
"He won't call again. So just take it."
I stared at the phone before looking at Alec one last time before taking the call.
I didn't say anything as I picked his call up. It was him who spoke first.
"Alec?" His voice sounded groggy as he said.
"Xavier." I acknowledged.
There was silence on the other line. The only sound I could hear was that of some faint music.
Where was he?
"Why do you sound like her?" He asked in a voice so low.
I stared in the front puzzled. My eyes ran over our childhood photo once before I closed my eyes,
"Are you drunk?" I couldn't help but ask.
He fell silent before he started laughing, "Can't I get drunk now? Should I let go of it too?"
"Xavier." I repeated.
"Oh come on Alec. It's already bad that I am hearing her voice, don't make it harder. If you say no in that voice you know I won't be able to drink."
"I said stop it." I demanded.
"Liya." He finally whispered before falling silent. I heard him taking deep breaths before he spoke again, "It is really you, isn't it?"
I gulped.
I was about to answer him when he stopped me, "Just don't. Don't answer it. I don't want to think about you with someone else. Just....can you please pass the phone to Alec?" He asked in his deep voice.
I didn't even think before slipping the phone away from me as soon as possible. I held it out for Alec to take it. I wanted him to hold onto it as soon as possible. It seemed as if it was some poison.
Alec took hold of the phone before listening to him. He hummed in response before asking Xavier his location. Finally he put his phone down before getting up from my bed,
"I am going to pick Xavier up...Do you want to come?" He asked.
I done want to. But I also want to make sure that he is fine.
"Yeah." I answered as I got up from my seat. I took my phone as I checked the time.
It read 11pm.
Mom and dad were not home so it shouldn't be any problem. Besides these last ten days have made them trust Alec. Way too much.
"I'll wait by the car for you, okay?" He said before going out.
I went and just grabbed on a pair of sneakers before putting them on. I still don't know why I decided onto going with Alec but I just wish it isn't as bad as I think it is.
I haven't seen Xavier getting drunk so I really don't know what to expect.
°°°°
Remember when I said I didn't know what to expect from drunk Xavier? Well, the sight in front of me wasn't exactly one of them.
Not in a million years would I have expected Xavier to sit in the backseat muttering things to himself while he would count the distance between me and Alec. Making sure we were not close 'enough'.
"Why does it even matter to you?" I muttered annoyed now.
I can't believe I was concerned about him. He seemed totally fine. Well except the fact that he was drunk beyond his senses.
He laid his head between the edges of the two seats, "It does. It matters to me." He sounded sad before looking at Alec sharply, "Are you both together now?"
I looked at Alec beside me as he clenched his jaw tight before shaking his head in denial, "We aren't."
"Thank god!" Xavier sounded relaxed as I heard his back hit the back seat.
He chuckled to himself before he fell silent. He was silent for a while when I turned around in my seat to make sure he was alright. (Never doubt a drunk person).
He was staring at his hand before stretching out his fingers. Then he looked at both of his hands before his eyes turned to me and looked at me confused,
"I should be having ten of these...why can I see 20?" He asked innocently.
Yes. Too drunk.
"Exactly how many bottles did you drink?" I asked.
He held two of his fingers out.
"Two?" I asked a little surprised.
Xavier getting drunk was yet again new Xavier for me to handle. No scratch that...I don't have to handle Xavier at all anymore.
How could I forget that?
"No." He cooed, "Don't you see there are fooooour fingersssss."
I raised my brows in surprise, "You had four bottles? And you haven't blacked out yet?"
"Yesssss." He smiled proudly.
He poked his finger in my cheek while I smacked his hand away.
"I'll drop you off at your house." Alec finally said after a long while.
"There's no one at my house." Xavier mumbled closing his eyes, "drop me off at Liya's."
Alec slammed his foot against the break making me go forward in my seat. Thank god for the seat belt or else I would have flew out of the car.
Well the same wasn't the case with Xavier. Imagine a sudden jolt and on top of that being drunk. Doesn't sound good, does it?
"Fuck Alec. You wanna kill me?" Xavier grumbled as he tried to get up from the space between the backseat and the front seat.
Alec ignored him while he turned around in his seat to face him, "You can't go to Liya's house."
Xavier pinched the bridge of his nose, "Why?"
"Her parents aren't home either." Alec glared at him.
Xavier laughed, "You think I don't know that?"
Alec stared at Xavier wide eyed before grumbling.
"Our parents are friends Alec. For all you know they all are together. So I must go to Liya's house." Xavier grinned wickedly.
"You can't stay alone with her." Alec scoffed.
"Oh, I can."
Alec was silent for a while still fumbling for words before smirking, "Fine. I am staying over night too. We both can have one room, right Liya?"
I looked at the both of them with a weird expression. Don't I get to have a say in this? I mean, it is my house isn't it? Don't I get to decide who stays in and who doesn't?
The both of them looked at me with puppy dog eyes before I sighed. Besides, the guy in the back is too drunk to take care of himself.
"Yeah sure." I murmured unsure.
The both of them grinned proudly before glaring at each other.
Oh boy, it isn't going to be fun at all. Two guys...one drunk and the other one too sober.
___
Hey guys,
I hope you enjoyed today's chapter:)
I know it was a little late update but thanks for waiting !... you guys are everything.
Also I changed the book cover...What do you think about it? Do you like it? Or the one before this was better??
Let me knoww:)
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Love youuu<3