~Trigger warning on this one~
September 2020
The camera flashes in Moonhae's face over and over again as she poses provocatively in her skimpy outfit. The photoshoot she had agreed to is finally taking place. There's definite tension filling up the room, but both parties ignore it to the best of their abilities.
"Can we get a makeup artist out here?", Youna then looks up from her camera with a frown, "We want a little less makeup around her eyes. Something more natural."
A nearby staff member rushes over, makeup remover and brushes in hand.
"But the concept is dark and dangerous, isn't it? Why are we taking off more eyeliner?", Moonhae can't help but question.
"Trust me. It'll be better", Youna merely replies.
"Whatever you say, Miss Director", she mutters under her breath as her makeup gets fixed.
"Do you have an issue with that?", Youna raises an eyebrow.
"Not at all", Moon manages to pull off a forced smile.
"Great", Youna's lips form a thin line, pressed together as she turns back to her camera to adjust the settings.
That's when a fairly noisy person enters the studio, greeting everyone around him cheerfully as he strides towards the photographer. Holding a cup holder of coffees, Hoseok comes into view, a huge smile plastered across his face.
Youna, who notices any disturbance while she's working, turns annoyedly, "And what do you-?"
"I brought coffee for everyone!", Hoseok cuts her off happily, "You're working hard, would you like some?"
"Coffee?", she seems to be contemplating whether she should accept the offer or send him out immediately.
"Yeah, here", he holds a cup out to her while grinning.
Reluctantly, she takes it from him, annoyed by his presence and cheerfulness, but thankful for the coffee. Taking a sip, she feels more energized already.
"Thanks", she mutters before focusing her attention on Moon again, "Now, new poses. Get on that chair, trail your hands up your neck."
With the roll of her eyes, Moonhae obliges, following directions as given. Although concentrating on the shoot, she can't help noticing Hoseok still standing there, watching everything with a small smile.
"Wow, these are amazing", he suddenly says, gazing in awe at the monitor presenting all pictures taken.
"Why are you still here?", Youna looks up from her camera with a frown.
"Cause I brought coffee", Hoseok answers in a small voice.
"Ok... So you can go now?", the confusion is written across her face.
"Can't I watch? It's so interesting. I promise I'll be quiet!", he suggests quickly.
For a moment Youna just blinks at him, trying to figure out what his deal is. Realizing it takes too much thought to be worthwhile, she just decides to ignore him and focus on the task at hand.
When Hoseok says he'll be quiet however, it's a lie. As a naturally loud person he can't always suppress the urge to say something. Every now and then he cheers out for Moon or compliments the pictures. The surprising thing is though, he does go silent for the majority of the time, his eyes drifting to watch Youna working in her element.
Finally wrapping up the photoshoot, Hoseok cheers joyfully. As Youna proceeds to pack up her equipment, he keeps talking to her excitedly, although not really receiving many responses. With a quick goodbye, she excuses herself and leaves the studio after finishing everything off.
Moonhae strolls over to stand next to Hoseok with a smirk, following his gaze to the exit of the studio.
"Why don't you just ask her out?", she scoffs, making him choke on thin air.
"What?", he widens his eyes at her.
"Oh come on", she laughs, "You've been watching a photographer for the past two hours. You wouldn't do that if you didn't want something from her."
"I thought the photoshoot was quite entertaining thank you very much", he insists defensively.
"And that's why you're missing work just to be here?", she raises her eyebrows.
"I don't- No- I was just taking a break", he scrambles for words.
"Well, I don't think she's a good choice. You'd probably have more luck flirting with a brick wall", Moonhae shrugs as she walks ahead to get to the dressing room.
With a big day ahead of her tomorrow, Moonhae returns to her apartment after the shoot. Wanting to avoid Taehyung at the moment, she decides not to sleep at his place for the night like she usually does.
Getting to her place however, she finds the lights turned on already though. As she walks towards the kitchen, she can't help sighing at the voice that calls out to her.
"Moonhae?", Taehyung's deep voice is always unmistakable.
Walking through the doorway, she finds him leaning against the marble countertop, his phone in his hand.
"Tae, can we not?", she says, already anticipating his next words.
"But I really think you shouldn't", he repeats for the hundredth time in these past weeks.
"I'm tired. Please, I don't want to hear it", she groans, rubbing her temples.
"Just let me say one thing", he pleads.
Dropping onto one of the dining table chairs, she stares up at him expectantly.
"You've been in therapy for just over three months. I really don't think you should go see Jaewon already", he gets to the point.
"But I feel like I'm getting places. I just need to close that chapter. I have to see Jaewon to finally get some closure", she argues solemnly.
"But will you be able to handle it? What if he doesn't react the way you hope? What if he says such horrible things you'll spiral again?", Taehyung can't stop worrying about all the horrible outcomes this prison visit could have.
"I don't know, Tae", she sighs, "I do know that I need to do this though. I need to do it now. Ever since I've been working through things in therapy, I keep thinking of all these things I wish I had said to him. I think about it all the time and I don't want to. I want to get rid of those thoughts. The only way to do that is to finally speak with him."
The fluffy haired boy starts chewing on his bottom lip in nervousness. He knows how important this is to her, but he's completely terrified of the outcome at the same time. Seeing her hurt one too many times, it's not something he wants to witness again. But he has to remind himself that it's not up to him. What Moonhae values most is her independence and her right to choose and he won't ever stand between that again.
"Alright", he breathes out, "Can I come with you?"
"I need to do this alone", she responds glumly.
"I won't go in with you. I just want to be there. Outside. Just in case you need anything", he speaks calmly.
Hearing him say that lifts a certain weight off her chest. Although she's determined to go through with this, doesn't mean she's not scared shitless. Knowing Taehyung will be there, waiting on the other side, puts her at ease.
"Okay", she murmurs before walking up and wrapping her arms around him, "Thank you."
"Anything for you", he whispers against her as he lovingly runs his hand through her hair, holding her head against his chest and placing a soft kiss on top.
True to his word, Taehyung stays at the car outside of the detention center on that day. As their driver waits inside the car, Taehyung gets out with Moonhae to give her a quick squeeze before showing her off. Walking towards those great looming doors, she glances back at him once more to receive a nod of assurance.
It's with a deep breath that she tells the staff working at the front desk her name and who she's visiting. As soon as they've finished processing everything, they ask her to wait for someone to take her to the visiting area.
It's then that she starts thinking all of this is a mistake. The thought of seeing Jaewon face to face suddenly turns her whole stomach around. When an officer comes by to escort her to visitation, all she wants to do is run. The feeling of light-headedness creeps in, adding to the nausea in the pit of her stomach. Pausing to catch her breath, the officer asks if she's alright.
The thought of Taehyung standing outside runs through her mind. She knows if she were to turn around now, he wouldn't blame her in the slightest. He'd probably be glad. But she's the one who insisted on doing this now, so there's no way she can turn back. This is her fight.
Telling the officer she's fine, they resume their course to a room separated into two halves by a half wall and glass. There's many little booths to sit at, each equipped with a telephone connecting to the other side where the prisoners sit. Moon's directed to seat herself at one in the corner, which she does hesitantly.
Calming her breathing once again she waits in trepidation. She hopes there would be some kind of warning before they bring the prisoner out into the booth in front of her, but there isn't. With the creak of a metal door sliding open there he is.
Darkly hooded eyes dart towards her, something burning deep inside them as they recognize her form sitting behind that glass. His whole appearance makes her breath get caught in her throat. Black hair cut much shorter, messy and slicked back, just as rough looking as his pale skin. That model-like complexion that was always his charm is now replaced with a toughened exterior. The sleeves on the dark jumpsuit he's wearing are rolled up to his elbows, revealing his arms flexing in the handcuffs constraining him. As the officer guides him to sit down in front of her, it's almost as if there's a light smirk painting his lips.
While he picks up the receiver on his end without hesitation, it takes Moonhae a moment to reach for the phone with trembling hands.
"What a surprise", his raspy voice sounds out lowly over the speaker next to her ear.
Her tongue and throat dry up as she wants to speak, feeling frightened under his intense gaze.
"You came here to see me, didn't you?", he breaks the silence impatiently when she doesn't, "So talk then."
"I...", a mere croak leaves her mouth.
"Cat got your tongue, Moonhae?", he pronounces her name like it's poison.
"No, Jae", her voice suddenly returns a lot more clear now, "I'm here to take my life back."
His face contorts as he can't hold back his laughter at that, "Your life back?"
She doesn't dare waver, holding her ground fiercely like she knows she has to.
"You seriously want your life back when you're running around free sucking everyone off?", he continues mockingly, "Moon, I hate to rain on your little parade, but I'm the one behind bars here. I should get my life back."
"You did that to yourself", she states quietly.
"No", his demeanor darkens, "You did that to me. You fucking took my life away. Even when I get out of here -in what, eight years?- my career is over. The whole world despises me, seeing me as some monster, how do I ever bounce back from that?"
"You tried to kill me", she speaks again.
"I was trying to teach you a lesson", he clenches his jaw, trying to keep his voice level.
"By murdering me?"
"You were a fucking cheating whore!", he slams his hand against the table in a sudden burst of rage, making her flinch lightly, "You're still a whore that would be better dead than alive! I don't know why you came to see me, but whatever it is you want, I swear to god you're not getting it from me!"
"Listen to me, Jae!", she yells out to silence him, "I came here for one reason and one reason only. I'm here to say my piece and you'll fucking listen!"
Jaewon moves to stretch his neck, rubbing at it as he leans back in his chair. He has no reason to listen, yet finds himself angrily waiting for her to speak.
"I loved you", is the first thing she says, catching him off-guard, "I met you when I was just a stupid teenager and you were everything to me. You treated me like no one ever did. You respected me. We were equals. I fell so deeply for you, you don't even understand. When we finally started dating, we got a lot of shit, but for me it was us against the world and that's all that mattered. You see, I pour everything into my relationships, I rely on them. It's probably why I justified you hitting me when you got drunk or mad. But after years of that, you degrading me every damn day I was with you, it took out my sanity. It wasn't until I met my now closest friends that I realized how deep in shit I was mentally. And yes, I did flirt with them and I did kiss Jungkook while we were still dating, but-"
"I fucking knew you were screwing those cunts", he scoffs, but lets her continue.
"I only ever had sex with Taehyung and that was after we ended things", she clarifies solemnly, "Things were so hard for me after that whole legal battle, because believe it or not I still loved you. But it faded, even with my loneliness I could see what you really were. I never looked back after that and started a whole new chapter with Taehyung. I was so happy, but you wanted to take that away from me. You had no right to, but you tried to take my life away once again. Like you had so many times before. But you don't have that kind of power over me anymore. You're here getting what you deserve and I'm finally healing."
Another silence settles between them, only Moonhae's shallow breathing can be heard through the receiver. It takes her a lot to lay everything out that she wants to tell him. Finally, she can express all of her feelings and regrets without fearing for her life.
"What a nice little speech", Jaewon starts leaning forward again, "In a web of bullshit and lies."
Her heart sinks, realizing her words have bounced right off him.
"If you ever loved me, I wouldn't be here right now", he seethes through gritted teeth, "If you ever loved me, we would still be together. How did you say it? Us against the world? Yeah, if you really believed that then you wouldn't be fucking talking to me through this damn glass window!"
Slamming his palm against the firm surface of plexiglass in anger, makes her flinch back a little. One of the guards nearby is about to rush over, but Moonhae holds up a hand, stopping him by motioning that everything's alright. His physicality scares her far less than his words.
"I did love you", her voice wavers with emotion as she speaks quietly again, "But I'm not here to try and convince you of that. I'm here to tell you that you no longer have control over my thoughts. You're no longer in the back of my head telling me my dress is too short or that I shouldn't be looking at that guy like that. You no longer get to hold me back in life because of the horrible things you did to me, even though I have to live with this neck injury for life. This time I'm actually free, because I've finally realized you're nothing to me anymore."
His jaw visibly clenching and his free hand gripping the edge of the table until his knuckles turn white, Moonhae can't begin to imagine what his response may be.
"You want to know why I did it?", he asks dangerously in a low, brooding tone.
"Hm?", her eyebrows knit together in confusion.
"Why I put my hands around that little fucking neck of yours that day and made sure to twist it hard enough?", something indescribable's burning in his eyes as he speaks, "It's because I wanted to put you out of your misery."
Her throat dries again in apprehension, holding onto each word formed like a dagger.
"You're miserable little life", he sounds chillingly taunting, "Made to be a whore from such a young age. Your parents must've known what you would amount to, right? That's why they sold those pictures of you, right? Even at that age you desperately wanted every man's attention. I should've known better when I met you. A girl selling out her body for a job could never be faithful. And yet I gave you a chance and here we are. How can you even look yourself in the mirror at the end of the day and still keep going, knowing you're a hopeless whore that brings nothing but pain to those around you?"
His raspy voice starts cracking as his sentences become choppier in madness. It doesn't take away from the way it's hitting Moon square in the chest though.
"You think you love Taehyung, right?", he laughs a little, "Sooner or later you're going to whore yourself out to someone else though, like the slut you've been brought up to be. So why not just end the cycle now? Why not just end it all now? I tried to do that for you. I really did. But now I'm sitting behind bars. All because of your fucking incompetence to be a decent human being."
"Jae-", a squeak is all that comes out before tears start rolling.
"You took my fucking life away and have the audacity to come here and announce that you're taking yours back!", his sudden yelling seething with hatred makes her tremble, "Fucking die already! Don't you see everyone would be better off without you?! Have you still not noticed that yet?!"
With a few sobbing breaths, she struggles to inch her chair away from the glass divider. Each word, each expression he makes, everything tells her he's a hopeless cause.
"Just fucking leave already!", he jumps up abruptly, slamming his cuffed hands against the glass and letting his chair hit the floor with a crash, "DIE ALREADY SO NONE OF US HAVE TO EXPERIENCE THE PAIN ANYMORE!!!"
Tripping back as her chair screeches along the concrete flooring, her chest rises and falls quickly, each breath coming out with more sobs. The tears blur her vision as she turns to run out of that room. Even along the hallway and the entrance nothing seems to register as her legs just take her as fast as they can.
The sunlight blinding everything around her, she feels herself fall and hit the gravel out front of the prison. Immediately she's engulfed with worried voices, a familiar deep one right by her side. Whipping her head around though and crying out, she can't seem to see him through her tears and the light stinging her eyes.
"Moonhae! Moonhae!", his arms engulf her shaking body, "It's okay! It's okay! It's over, you're safe!"
"I-I'm s-sorry", her words come out panicky and hiccuped, "I-I'm sorry! Y-you were right!"
"Moonhae, no, you're the bravest", he soothes her, "You're the bravest girl I've ever come to know. You're so amazing for going in there. You're amazing no matter what anyone else has ever told you."
"I'm sorry", she whispers into his chest as she continues to sob.
"No, no, come on, let's get to the car", he starts helping her up, carefully moving her into the back seat.
Right before getting in himself, however, he closes the door and goes up to the driver's window.
"Lock the doors, I'll be right back", Taehyung sounds dangerous and the driver follows his orders quickly.
"Taehyung!", Moonhae calls out frightened as she frantically tries to get her car door to open, "Taehyung, what are you doing?!"
Without another word, he turns to enter the detention center himself. Hurrying along the hallways, he avoids the staff and runs towards the visitation area. Lucky for him, it seems Jaewon is still on the other side of that glass, having his handcuffs tightened behind his back due to his outburst.
Taehyung goes right up to the window, speaking loud and insistent enough for the guards to hear. "I need to speak with him."
Reluctantly, the officers push him down into the seat again after he assures them he'll remain calm and that he knows the person requesting to speak with him. They re-cuff him, so he's able to pick up the phone.
"Hello, Taehyung", he seems amused to see the boy standing across from him, not even wanting to take a seat as he holds the receiver to his ear, "Last time I saw you, you were condemning me on the witness stand."
"I still stand by that", it takes every ounce of strength in Taehyung's body not to break the glass to reach through and choke this heartless man.
"What do you want then?", an annoyed tone enters his voice.
"I don't even have to know what you said to her to tell you this", he keeps his voice level, but sharp, only expressing a trace of the rage he's actually feeling inside, "I don't care how long you're in here for, I wish it was the rest of your life, but you will never ever lay another finger on Moonhae. I'll make sure of that."
"Oh?", he raises an eyebrow with a chuckle.
"Amused, are you?", Taehyung speaks darkly, having never felt so much hatred in his heart towards anyone before, "If I ever see your face again, you definitely won't be."
Slamming the receiver into it's hook, Taehyung turns on his heel, not wanting to hear anything else that man has to say for himself. He leaves him behind looking slightly stunned and out of his life for good. Meaning what he said, he heads back to Moonhae, knowing he won't ever let anyone harm her ever again.
Her arms immediately engulf him as he reenters the car, her scared eyes searching his face for what he could've possibly done. More than anything she's just glad he's back. Neither of them say anything on the ride home however, both contemplating what's happened in the past hour.
"I guess in someway I wanted to see a glimpse of the Jaewon I used to love. But that was all just an image I made up in my head I guess...", is the only thing she ever says about the situation, whispering it out hoarsely, tears finally having dried on her cheeks.
He accepts that, not wanting to know what horrible things he could've possibly said while she was in there. In turn, she doesn't know what Taehyung went back in there for, nor will she ever find out.