Ahsoka's POV
(y/n) had just left my room. It was early in the morning, so I went back to bed to try and get some extra sleep. Even though (y/n) had left on his mission to Crait, meaning our date to Alderaan would have to be another day, I still had the day off.
For quite a while I just rested in bed, staring deeply into the picture of (y/n) and I on that perfect day. I was so excited to feel like that again, but sadly that will have to wait.
~
"Hey Snips. Why the long face?" Anakin asked amused. I glared at him, telling him that I wasn't in the mood for his sarcasm today.
His face actually turned to one of compassion as I sat down across the table from him. "Ahsoka, what's wrong?" He asked genuinely.
"Well, I had plans today to go out with a friend today, and I was really looking forward to it. But he had to leave for an unscheduled important mission." I ramble, playing with my food.
"Well that's not something to ruin your day over." He claimed.
"And, maybe that's a good thing. Maybe you should be spending less time with this one specific friend. You don't want to get attached to him." Anakin explained, taking one of the final bites from his breakfast.
What is Anakin talking about?
"I-I thought you liked him Master." I stuttered nervously, I was beyond confused.
"I do like him. It's just that he isn't someone I would ever solely rely on and trust."
My mouth never closes, when has he ever felt like this towards (y/n)?
"What do you mean?" I beg for him to elaborate.
"This friend is someone who is going through a lot in his life, to no fault of his own. And all of these changes and discoveries are playing with his head. He could easily get caught up in all his emotions, which could lead to him not being entirely the person he wants to be, and that could be quite dangerous mentally for you...m-maybe even physically."
My breath felt like it was pulled out of me. Each word he uttered was replaying in my head, trying to make sense of it all. When did Anakin ever feel this way?
"Are you saying...that you think (y/n) would hurt me?" I choked.
"Not on purpose Ahsoka." He made clear.
I stayed still on my seat, examining my master's face. Surely this is some trick or joke.
"I just think you should take a step back, look at him as a whole, and do what's best for you Ahsoka."
I slowly get up from my seat, continuing to keep eye contact with my master, and I do take a step back. And a few more step backs. Then I decide to just turn around waltz out of the dining hall, leaving my fresh breakfast on the table and my Master confused at my actions.
I kept on walking, past the medical bay and past mine and (y/n)'s quarters. Once I arrived at the landing bay, I hop on my personal speeder and leave the temple, heading towards the expensive residential district where many politicians and senators reside.
~
Three times I wrap on the door, my usual amount in quick succession.
"Just a second Ani." I heard Padmé yell from somewhere in her apartment.
"It's not Anakin." I yell back, rolling my eyes when I said his name. The door then quickly opens and Padmé greets me with a relieved smile.
"Ahsoka, how are you?" Padmé greets me with a hug.
"Well, not the best." I admit.
"Come in." Padmé opens the door and lets me come in. I go and sit on her couch and she's quick to join me.
"What's troubling you?" Padmé asked gently.
"At breakfast this morning I was speaking with Anakin. I told him how I was upset that mine and (y/n)'s date got cancelled because he had a mission come up last second." I start to explain. I notice Padmé has her full focus on me.
"Then Anakin started talking about (y/n), saying that he's going through a lot and maybe I shouldn't be close to him anymore." I continue, once again getting confused as I'm yet to find a reason why Anakin feels this way.
"He even said that (y/n) might hurt me." I finished, wiping a few frail tears from my cheek.
"He said what?" Padmé asked shocked.
"I don't know where it came from. Up until now he never had a problem with (y/n). And he just never really said anything about (y/n) and I being together."
Padmé comes closer to me on her couch, wrapping her arm around me.
"I know it doesn't matter what other people think of me and my choices, but this is Anakin. I care about his opinion, he's the one that's taught me so much." I confess.
"Ahsoka. Anakin cares for you a lot, you're like his little sister. I'm sure he doesn't actually mean it to such an extent, he probably just wants you to be cautious. Intimate relationships aren't easy work for people like us, believe me."
I look into her eyes, searching for an answer. "What should I do?"
"Ahsoka, I don't want you to be upset with me, but do you think anything Ani said could hold some truth?" She questions carefully.
My immediate reaction is to yell 'No!', telling Padmé that (y/n) is like an angel, but I stop myself.
My mind casts back to the memories when (y/n) and I were separated. After the undercover Jedi saved me from Vizsla, I remember seeing what happened to Vizsla whilst Lux and myself were escaping. And...I think (y/n) killed him.
I only caught a glimpse but I saw purple, blinding lightning pour into Vizsla's body till he went completely limp.
"P-Possibly." I stutter quietly, not wanting to admit it.
"There was...one incident I recall where (y/n) did lose control a bit." I admit quietly. Padmé silently nods her head whilst her hand rubs circles across my back.
I never asked (y/n) about what happened, I was too afraid to mention it.
"But (y/n) would never hurt you, or anyone that didn't deserve it. I know that." Padmé claimed confidently, putting a small smile on my face.
I shook my head in agreement. "He wouldn't."
Padmé took a moment to look deeply into my eyes, she sent me a small somber smile. "No one's perfect Ahsoka." She said.
I let out a long breath. Why did her saying that hit me like a tonne of bricks? Of course no one's perfect, I just guess I never looked at (y/n) like another person. I always see him as mine.
"But (y/n) is special, and you should hold onto him Ahsoka."
I nod. "I know."
We share a warm and comfortable silent moment together. I just stare out at the endless city from Padmé's balcony while she takes her hand off my back, placing it back on her knee.
"Ahsoka...Do you promise to keep a secret?" She asks, her breathing getting noticeably heavier.
"Of course." I reply, turning closer to her, giving me my full attention. She seemed nervous to tell me this secret.
"When Anakin and I were on Tatooine...Ani's mother died in his arms. She was killed by sand people who had captured her." Padmé started. Anakin never mentioned to me how his mother died, I didn't think it would have been so brutal, I guess that's why he doesn't mention it.
"Then..." She coughs, and I notice her eyes get teary, so I place my hands over hers on her knees.
"Then Anakin...killed them." Tears ran down her face.
"He killed all of them. Men, women and children." Padmé cried out quietly.
I was just completely caught off guard. I know Anakin is different to most Jedi but, this is just mass genocide, is it not!?
I deeply regret letting her tell me this secret, I don't think I could look at him the same again.
"But Ahsoka. I still love him. He made a mistake in a very rough and difficult time." She comforted.
Before I get the chance to respond there's a knock on Padmé's front door.
"Let me get that." She says, getting up.
The door slid open and there was my master, standing there with a simple smile on his face. I felt sick.
"Hey beautiful." Anakin greets sweetly, but Padmé wasn't as sweet. No words were used from Padmé to greet her husband, instead she used the back of her hand to firmly slap him across his cheek.
"Padmé! What was that for?" He scolded, placing his hand on his cheek.
"That's for speaking about (y/n) in that manner." Padmé gritted, she also turned on her side so Anakin could see me.
"Hey Snips. How are you going?" Anakin asked awkwardly.
"You know how I'm going." I stuttered, avoiding eye contact.
I feel sick and unsafe in his presence. So, I decide to get up and walk out the door pushing past Anakin on my way out.
"Well where are you going?" He asked.
"Away from you!" I huff in frustration. I just want to be left alone. I can hear a small conversation between Anakin and Padmé brew whilst I walk down the hall to the elevator.
On the silent ride down, I wonder if Padmé will tell Anakin that I now of this secret. Oh how I wish she didn't tell me. Will I still be able to train with him, look up to him?
~
"Commander Tano." I answer my comlink tiredly. It's the next day and I'm running on very little sleep at the moment.
"Ahsoka, Master Plo will be training you today. I'm sorry." Anakin said in a very blunt and plain voice. He didn't give me a chance to reply before he ended the call, so I just got up, got dressed and went to the training grounds.
~
"Good morning little Soka." Master Plo greets me.
"Good morning Master Plo. Do you know why Anakin couldn't train me today?" I asked cautiously.
"He didn't say." Master Plo replied.
Master Plo didn't waste much more time and quickly got into my training. We just went through drills I have been working on recently, giving me his point of view and opinion, though he didn't say much. Conversations between Master Plo and myself used to flow really easily, but not today.
After completing one of my sets, I build enough courage to ask him. "Is something wrong Master Plo?"
"Do you miss (y/n)?" He asks. 'Oh no.'
"Not really, he's only going to be gone a couple days." I replied simply, and boy I could not be lying more. After finding out about Anakin, (y/n)'s arms holding me last night would've been very welcome.
"So, he told you he had a mission?"
"Yes, he was excited because it was his first one as a general." I respond. 'Good job Ahsoka' I internally cheer myself on.
"(y/n) is a good friend of yours isn't he?" Master Plo asks.
"Master Plo. Are you implying something?" I hint. I'd rather face this conversation head on than have Master Plo decipher every word I say to avoid it.
"Even if you and my padawan are closer than you appear, which I believe you are. The relationship between you and (y/n) must...end." Master Plo manages to say.
"End, why? We're just good friends." I argue, coming closer to him.
"It wasn't my choice Ahsoka. Master Windu says that for (y/n)'s and your own good, the two of you should cease unnecessary contact." He says, though I'm not convinced this is actually what Master Plo wants also.
"No!" I blurted out.
"You know as well as I do that (y/n) and I are good friends that have helped each other become better people and Jedi, right from the start." I explain passionately.
He sighs. "I know Ahsoka. But I'm afraid if this doesn't end (y/n) and yourself could meet the same fate as his father." That thought dawns upon me instantly. We don't deserve that.
"Then what do I do?" I plead.
"If you and (y/n) are just friends, I'm sure the relationship isn't worth losing your life as a Jedi for." Master Plo says, then proceeds to leave the room with just me and my thoughts. His answer to my plea doesn't help me in the slightest.
(y/n) said that he would give up his life as a Jedi if that meant staying close to me. And I feel the same way, I think. My thoughts begin to go in every direction of what to do. (y/n) will be back soon, I should talk with him about this before making any decision which could hurt our lives.
~
Rex helped me take my mind off all of these thoughts for the remainder of the day. I wasn't expecting to be so overwhelmed with thoughts and asking so many questions when (y/n) left yesterday morning, I thought I would be easily bored out of my mind.
At least I was able to spend time with the clones again, it's been a while. They taught me how to shoot a blaster pistol which was much more challenging than I had first thought.
"Hey, should we go to 79s?" Fives suggested.
"What's 79s?" I ask, intrigued.
"It's a bar where the clones usually hang out after missions." Rex told me. I looked at him with a hesitant look.
"I can't drink Rex." I remind him.
"You can still come in. Besides I don't think anyone will notice if you had a swig." Dogma winks in my direction. I roll my eyes.
"The 212th just got back from their mission and they'll be heading down to celebrate." Fives told me. I tried to contain my excitement. (y/n)'s back!
"Ok. I'll go if all of you are going?" I ask with a smile. Rex notices my change in mood and lets out a small chuckle.
"Yeah, we'll all go." Jesse confirms.