"Why am I wearing this?" Emily grumbled.
She stepped out of the bathroom, changing into a blush colored dress. It was coated in lace, the top reaching her necklace and draping slightly over her shoulders. The bottom hit right above her knee.
Kelly immediately shoved Emily into the bathroom with the dress as soon as she walked into the studio without a word of explanation.
Kelly handed the girl a pair of nude heels, "The King of Kuplankistan is coming to visit and we all need to look our best," she told her, arms crossed as she insured Emily would put the shoes on.
Hooking the shoe onto her foot, "Isn't that where we got that number one hit?" She recalled.
"Yes, and his daughter requested a VIP visit, so, best behavior," Kelly pointed at her. She didn't know why, but Emily had been more snappish than usual lately.
"Gustavo!" The voice of James Diamond called.
Emily and Kelly turned to see Gustavo exiting his office, straightening a tie, as the boy entered the studio, thoroughly upset to be dressed up. "Why are we here on our day off?"
"And in ties and jackets?" Carlos, Logan, and Kendall snapped, shifting uncomfortably.
Kelly smiled, "Because we are getting a visit from the county where you had your first number one hit."
"May I present His Royal Highness," Gustavo chimed, "the King of Kuplankistan."
Two booming trumpets let out a ring. The boys jumped back, lining up with Emily as a ratty boy hunched over spilled dirt down the carpeted hallway. Emily narrowed her eyes in confusion, soon to beam in excitement when four tall men walked down, each holding long swords in the air.
Arriving at the end of the hall, they stepped aside to reveal the king. He was a shorter man with a long curled mustache. He wore a tall purple and gold hat with gold and purple robes as well.
"Ah, Big Time Rush," He greeted, a small accent, "we are very, very big fans of you in my country and we have traveled very, very far to come meet with you."
The group gave a few charming smiles, but the king made no move to talk to present his daughter. They stared at each other, an awkward silence washing over the room.
"Bow!" Kelly snapped, recognizing why he was watching them so intently. "Bow," she mumbled.
As the guys all bent over in dramatic ways, Emily shortly bent her knees, giving a side salute with her two fingers from the forehead.
"But your biggest fan is my beautiful daughter," he said. Emily quickly sighed, knowing the boys were suddenly very interested behind her. "Princess Svetlana."
The man turned, as the girl rose from the ground behind her father. Emily gaped, turning to Gustavo as the two of them wondered if she was crouching behind him the whole time.
She had a sweet face with full black hair. She wore shimmering gold drapes and had a peachy sash over her shoulder.
"Ooh," the boys all smiled, stepping forward as they rudely pushed Emily behind them.
"Now, which one of them do you want to marry?" The King asked his daughter.
"Ah," the boys grimaced, stepping back, only to re-shove the girl in front of them.
"Well, their posters are all over your room, you must want to marry one of them," he urged the girl. The boy shuddered as they discreetly hit Gustavo for him to stop the engagement.
"Oh, Father," she cooed, "they're all so cute."
"Aw."
Emily outwardly rolled her eyes at the boys behind her, "Are they, though?"
She felt a harsh hit on her arm from the right, she snapped her head to see James shaking her off. The girl threw her arm out slapping him back.
"Which one of you wants to propose to the Princess?" The King asked.
The boys awkwardly groaned and stuttered.
"Well, your Highness," Gustavo cried, stepping forward, "the guys are just- well the guys-"
"Ah, very noble," the King hummed as Gustavo failed to speak. "We don't want to dishonor their brother."
Emily raised a small eyebrow in amusement as the guys agreed with the King.
"Give them knives, so they can fight for her," The King told his men as a solution. They each dropped their large swords on the ground in front of them.
Emily gazed at them. She slowly looked over to Carlos who gave her a nod.
The two bent over to pick up a knife.
The three boys behind them shouted at the two teens, Kendall and James pulling Carlos back as Logan hauled Emily up and hit her hand for her to drop the knife.
Kelly frantically ran in front of the guys, "Before we get to the knife fight," she cried, "we just need a quick sec for a meeting- a band meeting!" She said nervously, as she backed up, shoving the people behind her into Gustavo's office.
Emily stumbled into the office, turning to see the guys nervously looking to Gustavo for answered while Kelly shut the door.
"What's going on?" Kendall cried.
Gustavo and Emily both nodded to Kelly to explain, knowing she's the one who conversed with the King.
"I was told it was a VIP. I thought the Princess wanted a few autographs, not a husband," Kelly shrugged anxiously.
Emily stiffed a laugh, allowing herself to sit back on the front of the desk, "An autograph right on that marriage license," she joked. Her smiled slowed faded as the guys all gave her "seriously?" nods.
"Although," James nodded, "she is beautiful and I would make a great prince," he boasted.
Emily bitterly smiled at him, "Self-absorbed, superficial, prideful..." she listed, mockingly, before snapping her head in sarcastic comprehension, "You would make a great prince!"
"Stop it, stop it now," Logan told the two of them.
"Okay, before this blows into an international thing," Gustavo told them, "go back to the Palm Woods and lock yourselves in your crib until we figure this out," he pointed to him and Kelly.
"I get to go back to the Palm Woods, right?" Emily confirmed.
Gustavo nodded, "To make sure the dogs aren't seen."
Kelly scoffed from the back, "She just wants to take that dress off," she retorted. Emily looked over to her, giving Kelly a quick wink.
"Okay," Carlos sighed, "but how do we get past the giant guards with the giant knives?" He snapped.
Emily looked back over her shoulder to Gustavo who seemed at odds with himself.
"I promised myself I would never show anyone this," he mumbled. Emily turned, standing from the desk as Gustavo pushed back the mic on one of his awards to reveal a button. Pressing it, the shelf opened up, sliding to reveal a stone passage way. Ignoring everyone's questioning glances, he grabbed a note and a lantern from inside. "You'll need to answer these three riddles to make it to street level."
"But I have to clean out your email?" Emily remarked at the elaborate passage he designed.
The man gave her a short look, "Go!" He passed the lantern to Carlos and riddles to Logan as Kendall and Emily ran in last, the door closing behind them.
***
To no one's surprise, Emily and Logan solved all the riddles.
After a long and sweaty sprint back to the Palm Woods once reaching the street, Emily rode the elevator up to her apartment as the guys bolted up the stairs, shouting how once she changed she would meet them in the crib.
Emily threw her hair up in a ponytail as she kicked off the heels, letting them flying across the room. She swung her closet open when her phone buzzed.
"I'll be there in a second, calm down," she answered taking the call from Kendall.
"James ran off!"
Emily sighed, frustrated.
"Help us!" Carlos cried into the phone. Emily let out a small whine as she ended the call and slipped on her white canvas sneakers.
The girl tore out of the apartment, down a flight a stairs, running into the guys as she made it to the second floor.
"I left you alone for 30 seconds!" She snapped.
"We know!" They shouted.
Letting out a shaky breath from running, "Where would he go?" Looking at each other, the boys slowly grew wide eyed, turning to Emily, sheepishly. "If you let him run off to find Svetlana..." Emily seethed.
"We didn't let him do anything," Carlos fired back.
"Everyone, chill!" Kendall said, even-toned. "We can't split up or one of us could get caught alone and then get engaged," he rambled. "We'll all look together."
"Lobby!" Logan chimed.
The four sprinted down the stairs into the lobby, seeing no one in sight.
"James will marry Princess Svetlana!"
Emily froze, hearing the King speak nearby. "Do y'all hear that, too?" She asked. Looking at each other in fear, the group ran around the corner to the nook by the elevators to see James with a white rose, Svetlana, the King and his men.
"What did you do?" Logan shouted.
"I just gave her a rose!" James defended.
Grinning, "And in our country, that is a marriage proposal!" The King cried, kissing James on the cheek.
"Internet, now," Kendall snapped. Emily frantically felt for her phone in her pocket. Except she had no pockets wearing a dress and patted her hips, sighing heavily.
"Ooh, I got it," Carlos said. Emily leaned over Kendall to see Carlos' phone. "It is tradition in Kuplankistan for the suitor to present one white rose upon marriage proposal," he read.
James gasped, throwing the rose.
"Logan!" Kendall cried.
"Yup," the boy stuttered. "Uh, b-but you're not in Kuplankstan anymore. You're on American soil."
Emily nodded, patting Logan's shoulder as they looked at the King with a shrug.
"Bolsheviks!" He snapped. "Dirt boy always makes sure we are on Kuplankistani soil," he beamed. Emily hesitantly looked down to see James was in fact standing on a mountain of growing dirt. "Now, we should get ready for big time wedding!"
James was tugged back into the elevator as the Princess and King piled in with the men and men carrying horns. The boy's friends ran over, looking in. "Help!" He cried as the doors shut.
The four stood quaking.
"I had one job," Emily muttered, blank faced, "and I'm still in this stupid dress," she cursed, kicking the elevator doors.
"Call Gustavo," Logan told Kendall before turning to Carlos, "Go get her some water."
Carlos and Kendall both separated from the group, leaving Logan with Emily.
She shook her head, "I don't need water, I'm fine," she told him.
"I know," Logan nodded, "I need to ask you something." She nodded for him to go on as she still panicked over the current dilemma. "What's going on with you and James?"
Her breath hitched. Her lips moved without words coming out. Emily choked out a nervous laugh, "What?" She asked. "What do you mean?"
Logan looked back to make sure Carlos and Kendall weren't coming back, "You two have been bickering a lot more lately, and he's all of a sudden girl-crazy again," Logan shrugged, hoping she would give him an answer.
Emily scoffed, unconvincingly, "Logan, we've always been like this." Thankfully, Kendall and Carlos both came running back, the latter holding a cup of water.
"Gustavo and Kelly are on their way," Kendall informed.
Carlos nodded at Emily, "Do you want me to go get you a change of clothes?" He offered.
Kendall and Logan exchanged a surprised grin, "That's nice, Carlos," Kendall told him.
"No," Emily sternly told him, making the boy grunt. She picked up on the harsh looks from her two friends at her rude answer. She accusingly pointed to the pouting Carlos, "He just wants to get in my apartment so he can turn on the intercom system he bought."
"You bought an intercom?" Logan questioned.
Carlos shrugged defensively, "I get lonely!"
"At 4 am when everyone is asleep," Emily remarked.
Kendall and Logan both gave in, agreeing with the girl, having experienced Carlos waking them up in the middle of the night because he wanted to talk.
"That's true," Kendall nodded.
***
Ten minutes later, he heaving Gustavo ran into the lobby with Kelly and an unfamiliar woman with thin glasses, dark skin, and a business suit.
"We got here as fast as I could," the man panted.
Emily and the guys got out of their chairs, frantically looking for their solution.
"Who's that?" Kendall pointed.
"Millicent Crane," the woman said, stepping forward as Emily noticed her American flag pin on her collar. "State Department."
Kelly stepped in, "She's gonna help us get James back," she explained at the confused glares from the teens.
"But we have to handle this diplomatically," Millicent reminded them. "Kuplankistan has a natural resource our country desperately needs."
Emily and the boys nodded, understandingly, "Oil."
"Mustache dye."
Emily frowned, "That's not a natural resource," she pointed out, Logan nodding along.
"Now," she said, ignoring their corrections, "somebody call James and tell him not to panic and to stay put."
Kendall nodded, pulling his phone out as he dialed the number, "It's ringing," he said, putting the phone on speaker for all to hear.
"Hello?"
"James, are you okay?" Kendall asked.
"Yep."
Emily leaned in, pulling the phone over to her in Kendall's hand, "James, the state department is here and we're going to get you out of the engagement, okay?"
Logan leaned over Emily, "Whatever you do, do not try to make a run for it," he said.
"Too late!" He screamed, his voice projecting behind the group instead of from Kendall's phone. Emily turned over to her shoulder as James ran past shouting at them with guards chasing him down carrying the giant knives. Emily sighed in exasperation.
"Okay, what happens now?" Gustavo sighed.
"Two possibilities: One, James could outrun the guards, so we could hide him in an Alaskan cannery until the King gives up interest," Millicent answered.
"And two?" Emily inquired.
***
"The guards are faster than him and the King locks James in a tower," Millicent recounted as the group stood, staring up at James in traditional robes, screaming from a high balcony.
"He locked me in a tower!" He cried from above, frantically waving his arms for help. James continued wailing as Gustavo brought out a giant trampoline net, everyone holding one side.
"James," he called, "Just close your eyes and jump down onto this safety net!"
"How do I know you'll catch me?" The boy snapped.
Kelly groaned, "Just throw something else down. We'll show you it's perfectly safe!"
James disappeared from view, soon returning as he held a watermelon over the ledge.
"Perfect!" Kendall shouted to him.
James threw the watermelon out. Waiting for the fruit to fall, Emily squinted up, blocking out the sun, when she heard a loud crack behind her.
Her and Logan shared a look as they saw the dead watermelon on the ground, splattered behind them.
"Okay, now you," Emily, Carlos, and Logan all chimed.
James yelped, running back inside his tower,
Everyone let go of the net, letting it drop. "New plan," Gustavo said. "We're gonna go look into the government's little law books and you four get him out of the tower," he said. Then him, Millicent, and Kelly made a run for it, leaving the four friends with the difficult task.
Emily groaned, sulking back into the lobby, tugging at the dress.
"Okay, since we can't get James out of the tower," she hummed as the guys trailed behind her. "We need a new plan."
Kendall snapped his fingers, "We just need to make sure no one who can marry them gets in the tower."
Emily nodded at the idea as Carlos and Logan crossed their arms, standing in front of the elevator.
"But still, there's got to be a way to get more dirt on this wedding," Logan stressed.
Specs of dirt flew behind the boy. Emily pointed, "Dirt."
"Dirt boy!" Kendall gasped, seeing the boy throwing said dirt. "You have to help us. Please tell us the royal wedding plans so we can stop it and save our friend," he begged.
Dirt boy remained hunched over, covering in dusty rags, "Why would you want to stop it?" He wondered. "The man is the luckiest man in the world," he gushed as Emily cautiously looked in Carlos in confusion. "The Princess is beautiful of face and pure of heart and owns many, many goats."
"Yeah, she's hot and she has goats- When's the wedding?" Logan snapped.
Dirt boy turned, making sure no one was near, "After Ceremony of Secrets in park, which is now!"
Emily and the boys fell back as the guy flung dirt towards them with the trumpeting sound of the royals walking down past them.
The King walked out first, followed by Svetlana being carried in a box, and then James, also in a box. "Help me!" He cried, seeing his friends. "Help!" He screeched, leaning out the box' window and back at the group.
"Gustavo, it's Kendall," he said. Emily looked over, seeing Kendall already called the man. "Meet us in the park."
***
Emily finally got out of that dress she was forced to wear.
Then the boys forced her in put on all black in the L.A. heat.
The Ceremony of Secrets was taking place ahead of them. The four peeked out from the bushes.
"I still don't understand why we're in black," Emily said.
"So they don't see us," Carlos whispered.
"It's not nighttime!"
Kendall shushed them, "As soon as James get in the carry-box-royal-thing, we go."
Emily nodded, as the King turned back around, talking to the engaged couple, "And then can we keep it so you guys can carry me around?"
Seeing the King push James up and guide him into the box, the four hurdled over the bush as Logan snapped, "Nope!"
They sprinted forward, knocking the King's men over. Emily jumped over the first stick attached to the box and grabbed the one in the back.
"Wedding's off!" Carlos cried.
Gustavo barreled through, knocking over the addition guards who went to attack the people stealing James.
Lifting James in the crate up, Emily jogged small steps waiting for the front half to get the momentum going.
"Here comes the King!" Logan cried from beside Emily. She turned over her shoulder to see the guards and the King chasing after them in his own crate.
Emily squeezed closer to the box as they plowed through a group of kids. James shot his hand out, stealing a nerf gun from one of them. He leaned out the window, turned around and started firing at the King. The first bullet landed in between Emily's eyes.
She squeezed them shut, "James!" She snapped.
"Sorry!" He shouted, shooting over her head. When the bullets ran out, he tossed the gun.
Running towards the end of the park, Emily fell forward onto her knees when Carlos and Kendall suddenly stopped. The front tipped over, James shooting out of the opening and onto the grass ahead.
The teens ran over to James, pulling him to his feet only to see the guards had the giant knives aimed at them with the King and Princess standing in front of them.
Groaning, Emily dropped her head back, catching her breath, holding James' leg.
"And to think, I was going to invite you all to wedding with other dignitaries!" The King snapped.
The guards stepped forward, stealing James from his friends gasp, yanking him back into the King's custody.
"Listen here, king-guy," Gustavo snapped, catching up, "it's over!"
Kelly and Millicent stepped over, smirking, "He's right, your Highness," Millicent said.
"Who are you?" The man asked.
"Millicent Crane. State Department," she said, holding up her badge. Emily smiled, pointing at the shiny medal by her face. "I've been tracking this case. And you can't force James to marry your daughter."
"Nope," Carlos smirked.
"You mean I can't get daughter to marry handsome pop star?" He questioned, James smiling, pointedly at the word "handsome," making Emily shot him a stern look to calm down. James smiled, walking over to his friends, as the guards grabbed his arms, pulling him back.
"Well," Millicent shrugged, 'If you held the wedding in the Kuplankistan embassy where our laws don't apply, you could."
"Well, then let's have wedding at embassy!"
Emily snapped over to the world, fuming.
"So long, suckers!"
The guards turned, dragging a screaming James away as his friends stood there, helpless and turning to the state department lady in rage. She sheepishly smiled as the six of them glared at her.
"You guys are pretty angry at me right now."
***
Millicent ran away after Emily tried to shoot her with a nerf gun she stole from a kid. They had no other options to free James of his engagement.
The King wouldn't let them in the embassy, so Emily and the team stood across the street forced to watch important guests be welcomed in.
"I can't believe this. I mean, in just a few minutes, James is going to become a prince of Kuplankistan and own many goats," Logan chimed.
"Imagine he ego then," Emily sighed.
"We have to do something," Kendall pressed.
"Like what?" Kelly retorted. "There are guards with swords at every entrance."
"Psst!"
Emily looked down to see Dirt boy leaning over not-so discreetly. "Hey, dude," she greeted.
"I can help get you inside."
"Dirt boy? Why would you wanna help us?" Carlos asked.
"I feel James is handsome idiot-"
Emily smiled, pointing in a tight smile, "Because he is."
"The Princess deserves to marry someone who truly loves her."
Emily narrowed her eyes down, thinking of the possibility of Dirt boy wanting to be the one marrying Svetlana.
"But how do we get inside?" Carlos asked.
"Wait for my signal." Dirt boy hunched over, trailing to the entry with his bucket of dust. He leapt up, flinging dirt around like a maniac into the guards eyes. "This is my signal! This is my signal!"
The group jumped racing forward to get inside before the guards could function again. Dirt boy continue to spread dirt in the air as the team ducked, running through the dust clouds. Emily held her head in her heads, protecting her hair for dirt.
Inside, Emily heard the minister reciting traditional martial questions during the ceremony. "We need a plan of action, now," She spoke in a hushed tone.
Kendall spun around, passing out golden goblets to Emily, Carlos, and Logan, scooping dirt inside. "We cause chaos," he said.
Carlos and Emily gave each other a strong nod as they exploded into the room together.
"Sorry, sorry!" Emily apologized, all eyes on her and the people entering behind her.
"We made it!" Carlos cheered.
Logan scoffed, "Traffic was terrible."
The King stood, "How did they get in?"
"Are you too late to propose a toast?" Kendall laughed. The four of them raised their goblets together.
"To James," before throwing the dirt contents onto the guards in the center of the room.
Emily jumped over the table into the center with Carlos, who launched onto one guard's back, knocking the other one back down. Emily shrugged, giving Carlos a thumbs up for handling them solo. She swung her body over the other table to the side wall where James and Kendall were cornered by a man with a sword. She jumped behind James, shoving him roughly to the ground and under the table as Kendall held up a baguette to fight with.
Gustavo hijacked the piano in the corner and Kelly was chucking glass plates at the guards.
Kendall leaned back to Emily as he engaged in a battle, "Find Dirt boy."
She patted his shoulder as she turned, dodging Kelly's plates and fearful guests. Her attention turned to see a guard flying into the cake, Carlos peeking over the table and helping himself. She bent down opposite of the boy.
"Where's Dirt boy?" She asked.
Mouthful, he pointed behind him as Dirt boy hit a guard in the face with his bucket. "Where's James?"
Emily pointed under the table to his left, as she threw her legs over the other side, flinging a glass cup at the tall hat of a guard attacking Dirt boy.
The guard fell backwards. Dirt boy looked to see his savior. Emily waved aggressively, pointing over to Kendall who was out of bread. Dirt boy nodded, running around the opposite way.
He threw the bucket over the guard's head, throwing him into the wall as Emily pushed Kendall down for them all to hide under the table.
"What was your plan?" Emily snapped at Kendall.
"Switch clothes," he ordered James and Dirt boy. James gladly took off the hat, beginning to shake off the top robe while Dirt boy cleaned the dirt off his face. Logan ducked under.
"What are we doing?" He asked.
Carlos, who was assisting Dirt boy get into the robes, "Switching them."
Fully dressed, Dirt boy hooked the long cloth to the other side of the hat, covering his face. The boys nodded, taking Dirt boy and exiting under the table.
Emily grabbed dirt off the floor, throwing it over James' head, dusting some onto his face.
"James!" They heard from outside the table. James went to run out, thinking they were calling for him. Emily held him back.
"No, no," she whispered. "Not until they're married."
"Dirt boy?" The King gaped.
Emily nodded, her and James crawling out as their friends cheered for Dirt boy.
The King turned to James who unhook the cloth, revealing himself as he smiled. He stuttered, "A princess marrying a dirt boy? It cannot be!"
Logan shrugged, "Well, you did command that boy marry your daughter."
Emily nodded as the crowd mumbled in agreement, "I heard it."
Svetlana smiled, "Daddy, you know I've always loved Dirt boy," she said, holding his hand.
"And you know I will always treat the princess like a queen," Dirt boy promised, kissing her hand.
The waited in anticipation as the King thoughtfully nodded, "This wedding has my blessing!"
Emily took dirt from the ground and threw it in the air while the room erupted in applause.
They all ran out, taking bags of dirt, standing along the entrance as the newlyweds ran out together. Emily shouted, throwing dirt in the air over them as they ran past.
"That was actually a really nice wedding," James hummed.
"And it gets better," The King told them, walking down the aisle. "Because I have four other daughters!"
He stepped aside to reveal four other girls, smiling at the boys. Emily leaned over to Gustavo, "Where did they come from?"
"Which one would you each like to marry?"
Gustavo shrugged, "Run," he whispered to the boys.
The boys screamed, throwing their dirt and sprinting down the street with the girls chasing them.
"Wedding cake?" Kelly asked.
"I love wedding cake," Gustavo told her.
"Yes, please!" Emily gushed, shaking the dirt out of her hair, as they walked back inside, ignoring the shouting guys behind them.
***
Hope you enjoyed!