This was the biggest store he'd ever seen. It was like walking through a mall, but with 3 (or four, he had lost track) floors and it was all one store. What worried him was that Scott looked just as overwhelmed as he felt.
Scott wasn't sure why he was holding this ridiculously small pencil or where in the world ANY of this stuff was or how this worked. He would have left and gone back to the apartment to tear into Zac except he couldn't figure out how to get OUT of the damn place. Finally, inspiration struck.
Scawt: Come help me. I'm lost and don't know how this works.
Z-man: Ikea?
Scawt: This is like a haunted house, but happy. HELP.
Z-man: You want me to leave Jake's poker game to come help you shop?
Scawt: Isn't that what I said?
Z-man: You're hopeless. Be there in 20. Meet you at the restaurant.
Scawt: How do I get there?
Z-man: Follow the damn signs with forks. I'm done with you Scottie.
"Okay Midge, it's going to be okay. Zac says there's food and he's going to come rescue us."
"Yes, but the food is above us. I think they have meatballs."
"Lead the way please! Maybe this place isn't so bad after all." He followed him back through approximately 89 couches, 31 chairs and more place mats then he'd ever seen in his life. "Why are there SO many light bulbs?"
"I do not know. But the food is....." He stopped a few feet outside the doorway and ducked his head.
"Midge?"
Scott didn't recognize the man but he knew he wasn't anyone Midge wanted to see. He stared him down, gently nudging Midge towards the door. "Go ahead."
"Relax, I don't mean nothing by it, I just hadn't seen him in awhile. How you doin' Midge?"
"I am fine Carlos." He watched as Carlos stared at him and realized he was looking for his collar. He pushed his sleeve up and held his hand out a bit to show his bracelet.
"Have fun with your pet" he said, looking at Scott, then walked out of the restaurant.
Scott took Midge's elbow and led him over to a table. "Who was he? Do we need to get out of here?"
"He is Carlos and everything is fine" Midge answered. "Are you hungry?"
"No, I'm worried. Who is Carlos?"
"He is a friend of Jose. He is not a danger to me. He knows the rules and knows you are my master. I am safe. I would like some meatballs if that is okay."
Scott rested his chin in his hand and stared at Midge a moment. "If you say so. Okay, meatballs it is. He got up and brought Midge to the counter with him where they ordered their food and waited. "You're sure it's fine?"
"I am sure. These are good. They are balls of meat and are called meatballs. Why is all food not named that way? Bacon should be called 'yumstrips' and coffee should be called 'hypermilk'. It would make it easier to order."
Scott had to put his fork down and tilt his head down to hide his laughter. He covered his mouth and almost had it under control until he looked at Midge who had the most innocent yet cocky expression on his face he had ever seen. "They do it for fried chicken too."
Midge's eyes widened. "You are right!"
"And cakeballs."
"What is a cakeball? You mean it is a ball that is cake?"
"Exactly."
"I must try these cakeballs. Balls are very good." he said, popping another meatball into his mouth.
"MIDGE!" And he was gone. He tilted his head back and laughed until he was bright red. When Zac walked in a minute later he tried to contain himself but as soon as he uttered "And orange juice" he lost it again.
"I should keep walking and pretend I don't know you. Hi Midge." He sat down in the chair and turned to the only sane one at the table. "Is he okay?"
"I think so. He is laughing and that is good."
"They're even better with sticks. Cakepops. Oh god. Sticks. Balls. Pops. I can't!" Scott muttered between labored breaths. "Oh god. Help me. My stomach...."
Zac rolled his eyes and sighed. "Has he been like this all morning? Or is he always like this around you? That explains the laughing yesterday.... Oookay, um, are you ready to go?"
"I am finished but Scott has not eaten all of his."
Zac stabbed two meatballs with Scott's fork and shoved them into his mouth. "He's had enough. Come on Spock, he'll follow along."