"But oral it still a form of
sex....right?" - Kinsley Pines
I was home alone a lot. Even more so since Hazel was traveling for her YouTube channel while going though her messy divorce. I stayed out of my family drama. I had enough of my own already. But no doubt the Pines Family buried ours. It seemed like every family had there secrets, but some things we thought were secrets just weren't. People whispered and gossiped knowing what we didn't want them to know. Hearing hushed rumors of mistress's and infidelity. They would never say it to My Dad's face. They would never speak it in his presence or mine.
Always just whispers.
I realized that behind closed doors, people were different. That even though people were whispering in the outside, on the outside we were hollering, screaming, crying.
That's what I woke up.
It wasn't the cries of an unhappy wife and the ignorant howls of her husband. Strangely enough I learned how to sleep through that.
I shot up out of my sleep as I heard the shattering of glass. The moonlight peaking through the blinds and into the empty spot next me. I had fell asleep in Jasper's arms and woke up with him gone. I grab my phone reading the time.
3:45 am
" I-m a Grown fuckinggg women. Don't touch me! I'm your Mother you don't tell me how to live my life." Once again glass can be heard shattering. The woman words were bold as she slurred them.
" Mom calm down." Jace could be heard trying to reassure.
" Im fine, I-I just. Just tell me where it is! I know your hiding it!" Her voice was pleading yet, demanding all at once.
" You don't need it."
It was his Mother.
Someone I never expected to encounter a day in my life.
Someone he wouldn't be want me to meet.
I was conflicted. I'm not sure if it was out of concern or curiosity, but I found myself sliding out of the bed.
My feet touched the cold wood as I tip toed across the floor. My legs exposed bare to the cold air, my fingers tips gently gripping the door knobs, and it creaked just as the floors did. From the small crack of the open door, I peaked into the living room. The noise flooding through.
A soft gasp left my lips, as I saw her.
Her.
Jennifer Ralston
Her eyes were the purest set of green, they had the color of wet grass, like a rain forest, it was if emerald jewels were planted in her eyes. Her hair was a deep brown, with wavy a wit a botched cut that ended just at her shoulders with faded highlights. Bags hung under her large, her skin a sickle pale and her pink lips cracked as she begging for a blunt to be between them.But , I don't think weed was her biggest issues.
Needs marks set against her arms as if they were constellation but there were no stars in Jennifer's eyes. Her eyes lids could barley stay open, her skin sticker to her bone, a few meaningless tattoos covered her body. The classical butterfly at the ankle and a red rose on the shoulder blade. She wore a small denim skirt that looked as if meant for a child, and stained white tank top covered that exposed her pierced stomach.
There was youthfulness in her.
Something about her, just made it hard for me to see her as a mother.
" Where is it!" She screamed pushing past both Jasper and Jace raiding the living room. Couch cushions went flying from the couches as she hunted for an antidote. The boys didn't move, didn't budge as they watched her terrorize the house. Knowing her search was pointless, exhaustion on each of there faces as they roof in there pajamas with bed heads, they cools watched her.
" Where the fuck is it!" She screamed again. She stopped her search and panted , but her breaths seemed shallowed. Her sunken eyes on Jasper and widen with resentment. " You!" her sunken eyes widen as he spoke. And like a raging bull she ran towards him ready to attack, ready to give him hell for noting,
I didn't get it, he didn't do anything wrong.
It was like when she saw him, all she saw was red.
She never reached him though. Even though she wanted to, she didn't Jace stood in front of Jasper who hadn't turned flinched he stood there use to it. Jace a barrier between him brother and his Mother, restrained her small frame as she swung with serval attempts of slapping Jasper.
" You! Ruined me! You ungrateful bastard! Where did you hide it!"
I wasn't sure what she meant. If it was drugs she wanted? Or Money? A needle?
" Shhhhh." Jace hushed softly over her loud exclaims, " Shhhh it's okay Mom" her frantic nature began to diminish as She focused on her older son.
" I need it... please." She begged her small skinny hands laying on his chest. " Please, Please." She pleadingly whispered with each breath, her hands cuffing his face forcing him to look at her.
Jasper said that his brother had hard time telling his Mother no. There was conflict in Jace's eyes as he tried to look from her. Jasper shook his head his jaw clenched in anger and annoyance and with one simple hand motioned signed " Don't"
" I- I can't Ma." Jace told her. " I just can't, its not good for you."'
" Jace..." She said. " Help me.... I need it, please." Tears trailed down her checks and her voice had occur from all the yelling. Those eyes were shinning now, tears were the only way they twinkled.
" Help me." She whispered again.
And he couldn't say no.
Knowing what was about to happen, Jasper shook his head in disapproval.
I could see it in Jace'a eyes. A look I had never imagined. Jace was strong, tall, chiseled. He was always a statute. He was a weeping rock, even though everything about him was stone. Stone was suppose to stop him from feeling , stone was suppose to end him pain.
But even as stone he cried for her.
It was like Niobe.
The Weeping Rock.
He dug in his pockets, and it laced around his finger tips. Her eyes glowing and her dry lips forming into a smile as she snatched it from his hands.
It was everything she wanted.
It was what she tore the house apart for.
It was just a locket.
A faded gold oval shaped locket.
It was her pacifier, it was every she needed.
It's what she tore the house apart for.
It was what she begged for.
Maybe it wasn't just a locket after all.
She planted a kiss on his check, and just as fast as she came. She left.
Jace looked at his younger from. Who grew tired of being disappointed.
" I..." His lips parted hesitate to speak, for the first time I had glimpse of there relationship which I realized didn't consist much of words. Instead he signed " I couldn't tell her no"
" You never came." Jasper signed back before turning away and heading towards him room.
" Shit." I cursed, and quickly flopped down the mattress throwing the covers over me. I clench my eyes shut.
The door creaked open and I could his presence as he entered the room. He sighed as he flickered on the lap, the mattress dented as he sat down, his back to me.
" You heard everything didn't you?"
I didn't reply.
" I know you're not sleep Kinsley."
Fuck.
I sit up and move closer to him, I place a soft kiss on his shoulder, my lips feelings his soft skin. The tension in his body loosing as I placed another one on his neck.
" Kinsley." He tried you restrain his moan.
Still my lips trailed against his skin my hands moving to his chest as I planted another kiss in his jaw line.
He didn't want to talk about his Mom, but I knew he wanted to explain. He cared to much of what I thought. He didn't have to explain his Mother's behavior, he didn't have to tell me what was so special about the locket. But he felt obligated to, because I had witnessed the mistreatment and the hardships he faced.
He ways already in pain.
I just wanted him to forget.
My lips trailed from his chin, to his neck and I could feel his racing pulse I could hear his pounding heart as I trailed to chest. I slyly in front of him. His breath quickening.
As I went from his chest.
To his stomach.
To lower.
Just as my hands reached his waist band . Jasper's hands cuffed my wrists. " Kinsley, what are you doing?"
I sat on my knees with and looked up at him with a raised eyebrow. I wasn't sure if he was confused or playing innocent, which after our trip to his grandmothers I found out that Jasper is far from "innocent" if anything it was me who had the lack of experience. I wasn't ready to make the next big step in our relationship.
But I was ready to suck his dick.
That counts for something ,right?
I chuckled "What does it look I'm doing?"
" Kinsley..." He his hands through his hair as he searched for what to say. " Come on Kinsley get up. You don't need to do this." I brushed off his arm as he grabbed my forearm gesturing for me to get up.
" I want to, you're sad I just want to make you feel better."
" Fuck." He cursed under his breath.
" Kinsley, you don't have to do ....." he paused trying to figure out how to praise it " that... to make me feel better. I just don't want you feel uncomfortable-"
I frown. " Are you uncomfortable?"
Ouch.
Was I embarrassing myself?
Was he just not attracted to me like that?
Does he thinks I'm fragile or just unexperienced?
Damn it I was freaking out!
" No! I mean-" He sighed " A little. But not in a bad way. " He gestured towards the large bulge in his sweats.
I looked at him with pleading eyes. " Then let me help."
His eyes darkened with lust, "Okay."
~ ~ ~
The clock had read 5:00 am, and even through the rest of the town we sleep preparing for the day light. I truly was being a vixen of the night. I stared at myself in Jasper's bathroom mirror. A smile spreading across my face, and I couldn't help but silent squeal. It's not like he'd hear me anyway. But the last thing I needed was Jace knocking on the door and questioning my excitement.
This was a big step for me, and damn it I was proud of it.
I didn't feel the way I did Vegas.
I didn't feel like I had to prove to myself anything .
I just... I just did it!
Okay not it, it.
But oral sex it still a form of sex....right?
Yet, again I softly squealed jumping in a subtlety celebration. Until I heard a soft knock on the door. I look at my reflections once more quickly styling my back in to place before opening the door.
I don't know what it was, Jasper and I had just went to level of intimacy. It was clear that we were both comfortable with each other but I couldn't help but to get flustered just at the sight of him. He leaned against the door frame his chest exposed showcases his lean toned body and the seat pants that hung from his waist.
" You good?" He asked casually smiling as he saw my flustered expression and the crimson that rose in my cheeks.
" I uh, I..." Get it together girl. " What?"
He chuckled. " Are you good?" He repeated. I was the one looking like a utter dork in this situation.
" Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?" I force a smile and slide out of the bathroom, my body brushing against his sending sparks as moved by.
" You been in the bathroom for 30 minutes."
That was true, it started with basic. Brushing my teeth, and freshening up. Then I stood there replaying the events in my head.
" I'm fine really." I reassured while stepping back, I stumble tripping over his converse. Jasper quickly reached his hands grabbing me steadying me.
Sparks
I spelt my face heat up yet again, wiggling out of his embrace.
I looked like an idiot. While he was a cool as cool could be about it. He frowned as I rejected his touch.
" You regret it, don't you?"
" No!" I exclaimed. " Of course not I liked it. I mean like... a lot. I really, really like it's maybe even loved it I mean-" I ended my rambling as I saw the amused expression on his face.
" Oh God.. I'm embarrassing myself." I ran my hands over my face shielding my blush.
A beautiful laugh escaping his lips. His tall frame towered over me, he pulled me close to him, his chin sitting only head and I was in his warm embrace. His heart beat was steady, a tempo that could dance to.
" It's okay, you're not embarrassing yourself. I honestly think it's cute."
I cover my face and look up at him. " Cute? How is acting like an idiot cute."
" You're Kinsley Pines, you never miss a beat. But when you do it's adorable. Usually it's me who's tongue tied. But I like when I can make you flustered." He placed a soft kiss on my forehead. " Now tell me more about how much you liked it." He laughed " Wait loved it-" I pushed his chest freeing myself from his arms and rolled my eyes as he roared in laughter taunting me.
" Go to hell." I playfully insult, while grabbing my pants off the floor and sliding them on.
" But you're my heaven." He smoothly replied and though my heart skipped a bit. I refuse to let him see my blush again. I rolled my eyes at his words just as he planted a kiss on my check. " You're leaving?" Jasper asked as I threw on his hoodie.
" I've got class at 8, I gotta head home and get ready and prep my dance bag."
His green eyes looked at me longingly.
" Don't worry, I'll see you in few hours." I assured.
" I'm suspended ..remember?"
I frown. Right.
" How about we got out for lunch then?"
He scratched the back of his neck " I plan on clocking for work Kins. How about after school?"
I sigh . " Dance."
We didn't seem to have time for each other.
" But there's always Friday !" I said hopefully.
"Friday?" He asked confused.
My face fell at his confusion. " Yeah Friday.... it's my birthday."
His eyes widen in realization.
" Shit." He cursed under his breath. " I'm the worst boyfriend ever. I swear I knew it was coming up. It's why I've been working so much.. I just... I thought I'd have more time. I didn't realize the 11th was this weekend."
I didn't really know how to feel. Maybe a bit disappointed but, I knew that he knew my birthday. But he has so much on his plate that I can't really even blame him for it.
" It's okay. It's no big deal really. Don't stress about it." But just by looking into his eyes I could tell he already was. I could see the turmoil he was putting himself through about it.
I smile hoping to give him so since of relief.
No it was my turn to kiss him, I planted a soft kiss on his lips. " Bye Mr. Ralston."
" Kinsley." He called after. "I- " He ran his fingers through his hair.
" Yeah?"
" I-... I'll text you later."
Oh.
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Thanks For A Million.