The drive felt at least twice as long as it actually took, but soon Scott was standing yet again on Zac's front step, nervous. He checked that he had his phone, then took off his hat and put it back on. He'd just locked his doors for the second time when he heard Midge's voice through the door.
"Would you like to come in or have you changed your mind?"
"I want to come in" he answered, feeling like a dumb ass. When the door opened he walked in and turned to grin at Midge.
Midge wasted no time, just jumped into his arms in greeting, wrapping his legs around Scott's waist and resting his cheek on his broad shoulder. "I missed you."
"I missed you so fucking much. I'm sorry I yelled -- forgive me?" he said softly, in case his head was still pounding.
"That's a much better reunion than the ass-hattery filled circus of bullshit that went on this morning. I'll be in my room for exactly 20 minutes and then I want the dinner I was promised." Zac said, walking into his room and closing the door. "And use the bedroom, NOT my couch!" he yelled through the door.
"Will do!" Scott yelled and made his way to the guest room with Midge still wrapped around him.
"We should not have fun here, it is not nice."
"Not going to, not that I think he'd mind, but I really need some nookie. Is that alright?" he asked, backing against the bed and sitting down.
"That would be very nice." He climbed off Scott just long enough for him to lay down and then snuggled against him.
"I could blame this morning on the fact that I was on overload between the traveling, and shows, and no sleep, and showing up to my wrecked apartment, and not knowing if you were okay" he said, stroking Midge's hair "but the fact is that I was a jealous asshole although... I don't know, I guess I did mean a lot of it. Are you with me because you feel like you have to be? Because you have nowhere else to go or because of the bracelet on your wrist?"
"I want to be with you. I am yours."
"Such a contradiction, but I want to believe the first part so I will. Are you happy with me?" he asked hesitantly.
"I have never been happy like this. Why are you sad? What do you need from me?" Midge propped his head up on his hand so he could see Scott's face. "Is it because you said I do not love you? Is that connected to this?"
"Yeah. It's all connected, I guess. I don't know how you feel because....it's just weird. Our relationship is complicated, to say the least. I just have to deal with it until you come into your own a little more. I just worry you won't. Fuck it, I'm sorry. I don't want to deal with this right now. I'm good if you are."
"I am, I think I..'m better than you right now. But will you tell me what you mean when you say I do not love you? What do I ... what do I not feel that you are missing? Or do you want the words? I will say them if you want."
"I can't tell you why you don't love me, that's all you Midge. I can't answer those questions for you. But no, I don't want you to say it if you don't. Ever."
"I do not know if what I feel is love, it is just not... it is not important with Nekos and not talked about very much. I am happy with you, and I want to bring you joy. I like being with you and hearing you laugh. You are good to me, and make me feel safe and wanted. I miss you when you are gone and it makes my heart hurt when you are because I feel connected to you and your energy. I have fun with you.... wonderful fun. I am sorry I made you sad today because it hurts me to do so. If that is love then I do. If it is not, it is still amazing to me and I thank you."
Scott took a deep breath and rolled to his side, hugging Midge tight and wrapping his leg around Midge's until they were a jumbled mess of arms and legs. When his eyes had mostly dried and the knot in his chest loosened, he kissed his forehead and then down his cheek, finding his lips when Midge tilted his head up.
"I did not mean to make you sad, my Scott."
"You didn't, silly boy. I'm very, very happy. That was beautiful, and amazing. Thank you."
"Humans are very weird."
"Yes we are. And this one loves you too."
"Come on lovebirds, I'm STARVING!!!" Zac called from the living room.
Midge looked at Scott who had a huge smile on his face and burst into giggles. Scott joined in a second later, laughing until his sides ached.
"Y'all are FREAKS! Who laughs afterwards? Or during????" Zac yelled.
"Maybe you are doing it wrong" Midge said, bursting into a whole new round of giggles. He laughed until he had tears running down his cheeks.
"See, we're not so odd after all" Scott said, kissing a happy tear from his eye. "Let's go before he leaves without us."