In just a little time I've felt a setback for time. When it comes to Christmas, New Year, and my birthday. If anyone wants to tease me for this, then I won't argue over it because I don't really enjoy my birthday. When it was my ninth birthday, my mom and dad had a big fight after mom caught dad cheating with Isabel Randall. The night that should be the most special night becomes a special traumatize event.
And when my birthday arrived the next year, dad already had left us.
Now, time has freezing me. I watched Spencer, Emily, and Aria preparing a hole to bury Eliot Rollins's lifeless body. They debated something while sobbing a problem like the night was not enough to grip.
Alison sat down staring at the body of her crazy late husband while my sister still digested all the things that happened. She was quite aware of my presence but she was too shocked just to berate me with thousands of questions.
Oliver rubs my shoulder. I know he is also unsure what to support. He didn't even intend to help the others to get the grave. I guess he made enough to get involved because it was very clear he and I were officially the witness of Eliot's death. Our position is as difficult as the four of them.
I watched my sister walk over to her friends. She take a shovel then started digging in. Aria tried to stop her but Hanna insisted on being done.
"What are we gonna do now?" I ask softly to Oliver.
He is just as worried as I am. "I don't know. I can't think any clearly."
"You can go now and pretend nothing ever happened." I move to face him. "I put you in this position."
His forehead furrows hard. "What? No. You're obviously not thinking any clearly either."
We fell silent to each other.
Alison takes something from Eliot's grave. It was access card for Welbey access. They make a plan. Their lives will be far more ruined if everyone knows what happened tonight.
God, why do I always get stuck?
"Do you think they can get away from this?" I ask softly to Oliver again.
He sighs, his hand moves along to hold mine. "We'll help them in any ways we can."
"We?"
"Yes. You and me," He says firmly. "We have nothing to do with the man's death. But from the beginning we also knew what crime he had committed, okay? That guy was creep."
I closed my eyes for a while. "Thank you for staying with me as always."
His gaze soften. "Always." He whispered while squeezing my hand.
He look over my shoulder. The sound of trampled dried leaves made me turn around. Hanna walks over to us. Eliot's blood on his face made her looks like the main character in the slaughterhouse movie.
"This will be difficult for all of us, including you." She tells us.
Oliver and I just stared at her.
"What were you guys doing here?" She pressed. I thought she won't question this now.
"We-we sort of ..." Oliver stammered. He look at me, asking me to help him find the right words. To be honest, I can't help him at the moment. "We heard the crash."
Hanna closes her eyes. Her fingers pinch the bridge of her nose. "I meant how you could be here in a woods?"
Oliver gulps. He looks at me again. His eyes said 'what should we say? Do you want to admit it now or me? '
And once more, I got no answer.
Hanna's gaze hardened as well as judging. She tilts her head and look at us alternately. "Is that why you texted me to clarify that you're gonna come home late? Because you had your own moment here to squeeze his grape?"
For fuck sake.
"What the hell are you talking about? Shit — you don't know what you don't know." I say defensively on the charges. She thinks we were playing house here. This is too embarrassing to be assumed by a family member.
"Okay, okay just stop yelling that it's not important at the moment." She massaged his temples. "I can't believe you saw all of it — all of this. I'm dragging you into my mess."
My eyebrows fused. She is not only worried about this but about me too. "No, you — you don't drag me." I look at Alison who was watching us. "You will be surprised when you found out."
She shakes her head then take one step to get closer. "I think you should go home. Wait for me at home."
"What?"
She quickly turns to Oliver. "I know I shouldn't ask you a lot. But you already saw it all. But for the both of your sake, could you drive her home, please? Stay with her until I get back. Would you do that?"
Oliver nods confidently. "Of course. Of course I would. Don't worry about it. I'll keep her safe."
"Thank you." She turns to me again. "Just go home now. I'll explain it to you later."
I frown at her orders. "You can't do that. This will only complicating all of us."
"No. This is the best for a while. Can you do it for me? Please, Chloe. "
My eyes closed slowly. I have no other choice now.
I take a glance at Alison behind my sister's shoulder. I think she also wants me to admit everything to Hanna. "Fine. But... are you sure you're okay?" I ask worrily.
"I will be." She wraps a hand to pull me into her arms. I didn't expect it to make me even more unwilling to leave her even though her friends were standing by her side. She kisses my head before releasing a hug. "Now go."
"Okay." Oliver grabs me when I turn around. We prepared to walk back to his car before our steps were stopped by Hanna's words.
"Be careful. I love you. "
I stopped dead on my track. The tiredness mixed with guilt due to dishonesty as well as not having the guts.
I turn my head slightly. "I love you, too."
##
There are times when I prefer to be alone and away from others rather than looking for shoulder to lean on. Oliver didn't say anything along the way home. He wasn't as nervous as before, but I could still see the lightning of his worries.
I don't blame him.
We drove thirty minutes straight and finally arrived at my house. When I opened the door, I saw a lot of memories that suddenly flooding my head.
I saw mom was busy cooking for dinner, dad taught me how to play chess, and Hanna was absorbed in flipping through her Tiffany's and co catalog. We become normal and harmonious like an ideal family in general.
It's just a blur memory.
I say nothing to Oliver as I heading upstair. I grab the towel robe that hung behind the door of my bedroom. I removed all the clothes I was wearing and covered it with the robe.
When I entered the bathroom, I decided to soak in the bath-up. I want to soak in warm water to forget everything I witnessed today. Submerge all the anxiety I feel. I was worried about the fate of my sister if only A.D exposed it. She was responsible for Rollins' death because she didn't step on the brake pedal in time. She could go to jail, for the second time.
I almost took off my towel when I heard a knock on the door. I didn't budge at all since I know who knocked it.
Oliver open the door and just walks in. He close the door very slowly with his body facing me straightly. He smiles softly at me. He knew I was emotionaly drain.
"Do you want some company?" He asks softly.
I blink for a few times, but in the end I agreed to his offer.
He walks past me. He climbs onto the tub to turn off the shower faucet. His body then turned to face me again. He pulls the hem of his shirt and then let it go swiftly over his head. I silently stared at his abs and muscle chest. And the fact that I just realized that his shoulders now broader made me believe that I was too deep in my own mind.
Oliver smiles lightly. A smile that always warms me. He reach out to me. I take his hand and he slowly help me to go up with him.
I look up to look into his pretty eyes. There are no more worries and doubts there. He just look at me. He look at me lovingly like the earth that was illuminated by the full moon.
Since when do I think poetically?
He cups my face. I closed my eyes and he leaned down to kiss me softly. His rhythm was steady and his breath filled my face. I let it linger with him taking over it until the desire filled the air space and exhaled it like a whisper in our ears.
My hands float to his neck as he lift my legs and push me until my back hit the wall. Now my legs are coiled around his waist and none of us intends to break away.
"I'm not sure this is the right time for this." I whisper to his ear. He let me down.
"I know. But we both need this to reduce the tensions. If we're not, we will both choose to take a bad path."
He's right.
My hands glide from his chest to his neck. I run my fingers throught his hair little by little. Fuck my common sense. I need this for a moment. I pull his head and pressed his lips with mine harder. He seems surprised but letting me to take over.
Slowly, his hands move on my bathrobe. He then lowered the robe slowly from my shoulders. I gasp as he increasingly exposed my bare body. Even though it wasn't the first time he saw me without a piece of clothing, it felt like it was the first time he had seen me fully naked.
After he threw my bathrobe, I take my chance to unbutton his jeans and pulling down the zip. He helps me to take off his jeans. It didn't take long for me to do the same to his red boxers.
When we are only covered by skin, he pulls my neck and kisses me again. His hand then reaching for the shower faucet to turn it around. Cold water soaked my hot body.
I no longer need a bath-up.
"Here. I think this can make you feel better." Oliver handed me a mug of hot chocolate.
"Thanks." I sip it little by little. My hair is still wet and for the first time I don't use a hair dryer. I just want to wait for the news to come quickly.
"Do you know what you are going to do now?" He asks after a long silence.
"I just want to follow the plans they might do." I sigh heavily.
"I'm sure they can do it. I mean, you've told me about how the four of them always cover up secrets together since forever."
"Well, indeed. But — don't you feel like retreating? "
"What do you mean?"
"If this is all covered, then you will also be part of the crime." I look straight into his eyes. "The legal case will also burden you."
Oliver look down to let out his breath. He raises his head again and squeezes my hand on the table. "I'm not going anywhere. And I know what would happened if the police caught us. Therefore you can trust me. would you?"
I paused for a while. It didn't take more than five minutes until I nodded my head. "Thank you for that."
He smiles slightly. "I love you. I will do anything to protect you. I won't tell anyone. I swear. "
I smile for that. "I know."
"So, you already know what you're gonna do?"
For a moment I quietly pondered it. I don't think there's anything else I could cover up. I saw everything and I was caught up in the connection with A.D and Alison. She knows about me and so does Mona. Who can guarantee they will keep it shut in their mouths?
Now is the time. Whatever the odds are.
"Can you take me back to my sister?" I ask him.
He nods slowly. "Okay, but where does she probably go? I think there's no way they're still at the woods. "
I grin from ear to ear. "There is one place that I think is perfect for them to snuggling together."
##
I got out of the car and hurriedly stepped into Spencer's barn. Oliver followed me ahead and our steps get in rhythm. I stop my track and turn to him. "You should probably go home, you must be tired."
He shakes his head. His hands in a jeans pocket. "I told you I won't back down at all."
"I know. But you must be exhausted. After all, this is between me and my sister. "
"Even so, they won't forget my presence in the woods, they will definitely doubt my credibility."
I hold both his hands. "Not if I can convince them. Give us a little time. when the time comes, you will definitely be there and explain everything. But now is just between me and my sister – and possibly her friends."
After sighing and nodding, Ollie look at me again. "Are you sure you can do it all by yourself?"
"Of course. You have made me feel better few hours ago." I give him the happy look.
He grins from ear to ear wich is absolutely looks so adorable. He pecks my lips then went to his car.
My steps were held back when I saw Caleb coming out of the yard. I was about to call him but when I saw him rubbing his eyelids while looking down, it had given me a clue that something happened. I wondered if it was a about Spencer and Hanna. Why is he so upset?
I shake my head vigorously. There is no point in thinking about it because it is none of my god damn business.
I knock on the door softly four times and Spencer opened the door. Her eyes are swollen. This will further explain why Caleb looked so down.
"Chloe."
"Can I come in, please?" I ask softly. Behind her shoulders, I saw my sister wrinkling faintly at me. She only wears a bathrobe. And the fact that her eyes were swollen along with her red nose link me to something between Spencer-Caleb-Hanna thing.
"Chloe, what are you doing here? I told you to wait for me at home with Oliver."
"Where is Alison?"
Spencer turned to Hanna before she invited me in. Even though it felt awkward, I forced myself to step inside.
"Aria brought Alison back to Welbey," Spencer answered.
The barn smells like a hospital. When I looked down at the floor, there was leftover traces of wet water. I didn't ask any further on why Alison had to go back there. But my guess is this is part of their plans. It seems like they want to make everything looks normal. Sooner or later people will definitely have a search party of Rollins' whereabouts.
"What brought you here?" Hanna pulls me to sit. Now I feel intimidated by my intentions.
"Actually it was no coincidence that me and Oliver were in the woods." I tell her.
Spencer take a sit on the other side. She is ready to listen to me. Her swollen eyes were no longer dominated by disappointment but curiosity.
"What does that mean is not a coincidence?" Hanna asks with narrow eyes.
Before I opened my mouth, Emily came out of the bathroom. She was fully clothed with her wet hair. "What 's going on?" She asked us before sat down next to Spencer.
More eyes await my recognition.
"I think this is the best way to make a confessions." I say, looking down.
"Confess what?" Hanna urges. She sounded impatient waiting for me to aim at my point.
"About A.D."
The three faces tightened. They didn't blink at all. My face feels hotter.
"What about A.D?" Emily asks.
The last time I felt nervous was when I had to attend a science fair in eighth grade.
"Chloe?" Hanna hold onto my shoulder. "Did A.D do something to you?"
With one long breath, I stabilized myself to open the secrets that I had been hiding from her. "This is all about what I did at Ravenswood. Everything didn't happen by accident. I know who Eliot Rollins is and also... Sara Harvey."
The three of them lean over.
"While I was there ..."
##
My mouth feels dry. It is a sign that I have finished with the story I told them.
And the three faces stiffened afterwards.
I gulp many times. Every second that passed was like thin air for me to guess whether I was breathing well or running out of air space.
Spencer and Emily didn't say anything. But their faces imply surprise. I cursed myself for this. I forcefully gave an overview of the dirty things I did two years in a row until I got terror from A.D.
I race with time every day and it's only a matter of time until they know something about A.D. Mona and Alison had already knew my secrets and that was because I had no other choice, especially for Alison. There's no point in running away from trouble. Because no matter how great you save it, it will never give you peace of mind.
"Why did you just say it all now?" Hanna became the first to break the silence. Her voice hissed but she tried not to overreact.
"Look, I have no other option and I see how bad it was effecting other people. It hurts Alison, and—" I wet my lips. "And it was because of me."
Hanna take a long deep breath, she tried not to explode. "Do you know what you're up against, Chloe? Do you know what you have done?"
"Hanna, chill." Emily warns my sister. I don't think she wants to be the part to choose. That's why I like to befriend her. She is always nice to me.
"No! I can't believe you haven't told me about it all over the past two years. I mean, it's me! How could you hide that from mom and dad? Delivering drugs, Chloe — do you know what happens if the police get to know your dirty works?"
I wish I could order my ears for not to listen to this. "Okay, I know I'm more than guilty. But, can we just drop it and move on? We have the bigger issue here."
"We? Since when did this become your problem too?"
"Since A.D. has been messing with me, okay?" I can't hold the tone of my voice. Things like this are very predictable, but I don't want to linger over them.
Hanna jumps to her feet. She massaged her temples then look at me in disbelief. "How the hell you did that? This is not like you. How could you not tell me how shitty Marianna was?"
I sigh to see my sister putting hands on her waist and demanding me to talk why I covered aunt Marry.
"Because this is too complicated, okay? Yes, I've done stupid things and it dragged me to the bigger chaos. You have no idea how hard it is to keep it all alone."
"So that was what A.D has on you. Your secret with drugs and stuff." Spencer get in her speculation. She looks more relaxed even though I was arguing with my sister.
"Something like that." I nod.
"Wait, why were you just telling Mona and Ali about it?" Hanna demanded my answer.
"I have no choice. Mona is quite intelligent in overcoming big problems. I honestly trust her more in this matter because I know you will always push me back to square." I ignored my Hanna's fierce gaze. "And for Alison, I accidentally found her in a mental hospital because I followed Eliot. I got a clue to how it relates to Crystal med from Sara Harvey's texts history. I expected him to be the original big boss."
"Then what will you do if indeed the original big boss, hm?" Hanna folded her hands across her chest. "Would you confront him to confess?"
I honestly have no idea. If only I could retreat twenty-four hours ago, I don't think I have any plans. I'm not crazy enough to confront a dangerous, crazy dude like Eliot.
"Look, I admit I'm guilty and I'll do anything to make up for my mistakes. But can't we focus on just one problem? A.D is far more important to think about now."
"You're right," Spencer blurt out. "But that means you won't get away from A.D. You won't be able to pull back and squeeze to the way it was. Your problem is no more complicated than it already was."
"I know. That's why I made a confession before things got complicated and hurt us all."
"You can't get through it alone, Chloe." Emily says.
And of course I know that.
"Now everything make sense," Hanna says. "You told Oliver and that's why he was in the woods with you. You two had plan to save Alison."
I look down. "We had to."
"Then where did you put the crystal meds?"
"I flush it in the toilet."
"You know, if you only bother to admit it from the beginning this won't be take so high on a road."
I laugh sarcastically. "Look at where I learned from to keep such a big secret." I look away for a moment. "At least I've never been jailed for being slandered."
My satire is very effective. I know I'm outrageous. But this has become a habit that is hard to get rid of when something pisses me off. I can be cruel.
"Listen—" I quickly taking over the situation before Hanna yelled at me again. "I don't mean to be walking on your shoes. I'm done doing shitty things and I'll try to make it right every step of the way I could. It might not be too late for you to tell the police. "
They know what I mean, because that's how the three exchanged glances before Emily told me. "We can't do it because this is a serious crime, Chloe. There is no recognition that works when dealing with A or A.D. we have learned from our mistakes. "
Spencer quickly adds. "We're going to take Rollins' car to the station and made him looks like running out of town. That's why Aria brought Alison back to welbey, to avoid the suspicions of certain parties."
I nod slowly. "And what about Lucas's car? Broken glass with blood marks won't help you any favor."
"We will burn it in the woods." Emily tells me.
I don't know why it feels like a bad idea. An abandoned car get burn in the middle of the woods? Who won't be suspicious? The police will surely realize Eliot's disappearance and they will certainly work fast to find irregularities. I know how they work.
"Are you sure it's a good idea?" I ask pessimistically.
Before they might answered, my sister interrupted. "That is none of your business. You are not involved with his death."
"Well, I'm involved with the dirty work."
"We will find a way to working on that. Is there anything else we need to know, Chloe? Or something I should know about? "
I thought I'd told her enough, even about my lifestyle at Ravenswood. "Nothing particular."
"Are you sure?" She looks at me suspiciously.
"Positive." I hiss.
"Good. Because we need you to be a good girl. "
I chuckle bitterly. "It's a good thing I don't need anything from either of you."
Hanna glares at me. She's definitely still very upset about my lies. She didn't even hide her disappointment, which I completely understand. I am indeed disappointing.
"It's too late to hold your pride. You're gonna be transparent from now on and you're gonna tell me why you did and why you didn't tell me, including me about Marianna being a crackhead and abusing you. Are we understood? "I hated it every time my sister started being authoritarian towards me. It's not about her being my guardian now but she is being paranoid and overprotective.
When can things get better?
I turn my face slightly away. My hands are clenched. There is no point in hiding again. It's time to do the right thing.
"What will you do with my mistake, Hanna?"
Hanna close her eyes tightly. Spencer and Emily can only be loyal listeners because my sister and I have been debating our personal problems.
"You can arrest Marianna." Spencer says. "But I'm afraid it's not an easy way. Especially you have a bad record there."
I shake my head. "I have no intention of suing anyone."
"Are you being serious? You just let people step on you like a trash?" Hanna frowned hard. She knows I hate putting myself in prolonged conflict. But I know she's not going to let me live it that down.
"I guess I am." I murmured.
"Well, it's not your call to make, fortunately."
My cellphone vibrates in my jacket pocket. A call from an unknown number. I hesitantly pick up the call.
"Hello?"
"Good evening, am i talking to Miss Chloe Marin?"
"Umm, yeah?" I pointed my finger at my sister so she didn't say anything in a question look.
"Miss Marin, I'm sorry I called you this late. My name is Teressa Rogers from Ravenswood social service. I would like to meet you to talk about important things about Marianna Stewart."
I frown in surprise. "What about her?"
"We are being held back because of her child abuse case on a kid named David Wilson. Apparently, we get information you were living with her for two years. I'd like to ask few questions and expect your cooperation. Can we arrange to meet up tomorrow? I'll come to Rosewood."
I gulp. This news is too shocking. Especially when I just discussed about what Marry did. "Uh, sure. What time do we have to meet?"
"Ten o'clock. Would you meet me at the Rosewood social service or do you prefer me to come to your house?"
I look at my sister who was frowning faintly. She give me a questioning look.
"Do I have to be accompanied by a guardian?"
"I would have suggested it as a good choise. I have checked your profile. You live with your sister, don't you? I also needed to talk to her."
I sigh deeply. "Yeah. Of course. You welcome to come to my house, miss Rogers."
"Certainly. And Miss Marin?"
"Yes?"
"I hope you won't feed me with any lies."
My eyes widen on her assertation. It didn't take long for me to hang up.
How could that woman say such a thing?