Ammar stood up from the breakfast table clearing his throat.
"I will be back a little late, okay?" His mother shot him a glare.
"Why are you in such a hurry? You came just last night after a week and now you are rushing to work. No one of you has time for your mother," She muttered the last part to herself and he pressed his lips guiltily.
"I am sorry but I promise I will try to be back as early as I can. Now please give me a smile so I can go," He slipped on his suit jacket.
She sighed before pressing her lips in a smile and nodded.
"Have a nice day, Allah Hafiz," He grinned giving her a forehead kiss, and ran out, settling in the car.
The smile wasn't leaving his face as he made his way to the office. Adrenaline was pumping through his veins in the excitement.
He covered the thirty-minute ride in twenty minutes and jumped out of the driving seat handing the keys to the guard and took a deep breath entering the building with hurried steps.
Nodding his head to all the greetings, he made his way upstairs.
He looked around before greeting the receptionist.
"Is Ms. Zahra here?" He asked trying to act casual and she nodded, still typing over her keyboard.
"She just went to the left corridor," He thanked making his way to the left and moved his eyes around.
He sighed, shutting his eyes as he reached the end of the corridor and stopped.
Just as he turned around, his eyes widen finding her rushing his way.
She hadn't looked up as she ran her thumb under her eye and halted as she finally spotted a person just before the ladies' washroom.
Her eyes shot up and his widened. He stared directly in her bloodshot orbs. They were red, the veins visible as if she was resisting the tears hard.
The emotions were so raw in her eyes, so intense that his heart picked up its rate.
She cleared her throat looking away.
"Excuse me," he blinked rapidly, coming to his senses before stepping aside and she brushed past him into the restroom making him stare at the closed door.
The echoes of her whisper still vibrating in his ears.
He glanced at the door once again before walking out of the corridor and to his cabin silently.
_
Zahra pushed her palm deeper into her mouth, to not make a sound and leaned her back on the wall.
The fight with Husna still burning her heart. The hateful words thrown by both of them were ringing inside her mind.
She shut her eyes close letting the tears of agony run down once and for all as her mind went back to the whole scene.
Zahra had bought Husna's favorite chocolates to lift her mood from whatever was bothering her from the past few days. She had even come early to have a little talk with her alone before the whole staff starts to fill in.
She made her way directly to the right corridor and into the hall, where Husna's cubicle was.
And as always Husna was there, with her head on her folded arms. Her body tensed.
Zahra frowned before shaking her shoulder a bit and Husna startled looking up and sat straight on her chair.
"Hey, are you fine?" She leaned on her table and Husna nodded not looking up but playing with the ring in her hand.
"Such a beautiful ring. You didn't show it to me," Zahra smiled holding her hand and before she could lift it, Husna pulled it back as if Zahra's touch has burnt her.
She stared at her, feeling embarrassed.
"Husna," Husna shut her eyes, gritting her teeth.
"Zahra, I don't want to talk to you. Can you leave me alone please?" She frowned at her harsh tone but didn't move.
"I am not moving from here until you tell me what happened," Zahra folded her arms on her chest.
"Why can't you understand that I don't want to talk to you huh?" She shot up from her chair. Her voice raising more than Zahra would have liked.
"What changed so suddenly that you're behaving like this with me? What did I do?" She still talked softly, knowing something was hurting her.
"Why are you so stubborn? Why can't you just go away from here?" Husna threw her hands in the air. Her eyes filled with hatred and anger.
Zahra flinched, she had never seen Husna like this in these two years.
"Husna, I-" she was cut off by Husna holding her arm in a tight grip, glaring right in her eyes.
"You want to know what changed? My perception of you changed. You just proved why you were not worth a chance," Zahra stared at her in utter disbelief.
"What are you even saying Husna? You are not in your senses," Zahra started to walk out but Husna pulled her back to stand infront of her,
"Do you think I haven't seen what goes behind everyone's back? Do you think I am a fool? Were you and Harib sir not flirting with each other in the coffee room, in the printing room, and maybe in his cabin." Zahra took a step back, her head spinning.
"Hus-"
"I have seen him holding your dupatta, offering you coffees. He's around you every single day. You both-" Zahra glared at her, and raised a finger, words coming out completely hurt.
"Husna, I won't tolerate a single word-"
"You know what? I concluded that this character would have been the reason for your divorce. You are not what you show to the world. Hidden behind this hijab is a-"
A loud slap across Husna's cheek cut her off as Zahra pinned her down with her glare.
"Shut up. Just shut up. I won't listen to a single word about my character. You proved to me that every friend is just a ticking bomb in your life. Here they got in a fight and there boom, your secret is out. The years of trust just turn into ashes. I swear, I never thought of you to think this low of me. I trusted you with my secrets. But what did I get in the return? The same fucking betrayal, the same heartbreak as every fucking time," She picked up her bag, throwing one last glare at Husna, and before walking out, she turned once again.
"And the worst I can do to you is to not give you any clarification."
And the rest was history.
__
He roamed in his cabin restlessly. Her eyes not leaving his mind.
He punched the wall, finally sitting down on his chair, with a huff.
Suddenly the door opened and Harib walked in calmly.
"Someone is back unannounced." He muttered and Ammar bit his tongue to not snap.
"Because someone didn't care to catch up," Ammar shrugged as Harib made himself comfortable.
"Still, you could have told me." Ammar rolled his eyes, playing with the pen holder.
"You look a little out of shape,"
Ammar had almost said something for a moment before he held himself.
"I am fine. We should get to work." He muttered sitting straight and Harib shrugged opening the files.
_
Zahra had gotten all normal again after an exhausting breakdown and got back to work.
"Proceed it to the boss and ask Hashir to submit his presentation within two hours or I am not responsible for the consequences," she muttered signing and closed the file.
"Sure." the girl went out.
She fell back on her chair, her eyes shut but they jerked open as the door got knocked.
The words rang in her mind, finding the person standing in front of her,
Were you and Harib sir not flirting with each other in the coffee room, in the printing room, and maybe in his cabin...
She gritted her teeth before clearing her throat and sat up. He made his way in with a smile,
"Ammar wanted a meeting to discuss the new designs you suggested," He stood in front of her desk.
"I will arrange it," she ran her tongue across her whole mouth.
Harib opened his mouth and peaked behind his shoulder. Whatever he was about to say stopped as he shook his head and walked out.
Her eyes moved to the door finding Husna stopped at some distance away from her cabin.
Zahra just glanced at her before opening her iPad.
Harib talked for some time with Husna and the glint in her eyes was telling Zahra what it was all about.
She would have been genuinely happy if she hadn't been accused like that.
She wanted with every piece of her heart to scream her decency but she knew that it didn't matter. Husna had created an unknown barrier between them.
The way she had bring her past and her character in between had hurt Zahra to no limits.
She took a shaky breath working on the task in hand when Ammar just couldn't stop himself anymore.
He walked out of his cabin and stood leaning in front of the balustrades again, looking down at the hustle-bustle of the whole building.
She huffed after some time, pushing her head back on the chair, and found Ammar standing outside and staring at her.
She straightened running a tongue over her dried lips and picked up a pen, pushing the nib in and out unconsciously.
His steel-like gaze was fixed onto her, on her actions. The way she was fidgeting with the pen nervously.
It was all creating unknown havoc inside him.
The fact that she acted all nervous having his gaze on her had excitement bubble up in him.
He kind of liked this nervous side of her.
The whole day she avoided his curious gaze trying to hold herself in one piece.
_
He parked his car seeing the whole family's cars present in the driveway and raised his brows, handing the keys to Abdullah, their helper.
"Why is everyone here?" He asked taking out his jacket from the passenger seat.
"Amma Jan called all the family," He nodded making his way in, folding the sleeves of his shirt.
"Assalam u Alaikum." He called out gaining everyone's attention in the living area.
"Welcome beta, we were just talking about you," his mother said as he gave her a quick hug. Ruba stood up taking his coat from his hand, almost snatching it from him.
"I hope good things," he settled beside his Dado dropping a kiss on her knuckles.
"Of course. We were talking about your marriage," she said and he rolled his eyes.
"C'mon Dado, you have better things to talk about,"
"Your engagement is fixed just a month from today," Mahnoor said, worry evident in her eyes, and he glared at her.
"Okay and with whom, if I may ask?" He ran his eyes around the whole room, seeing some giving him a dismissing look, while other teasing looks.
"Don't act so naive now, soon to be dulhay miyan," Zohaib sat on the armrest beside him with a bowl of chips in his hands.
Everyone started talking among themselves and he turned his eyes to his mother, finding her staring at him, with a slightly tensed expression on her face.
He raised his brow gesturing to what all of the family was talking about.
"Mama Baba, can you please come with me?" He stood up making his way out, giving his parents a look, and to his room.
"What is this?" He asked his mother as soon as she stepped into the room.
"Ammar," His father gave him a look and he sighed.
"Baba, I don't know what is going on," he sat down on the bed unclasping his watch.
"Ammar, we have talked about this, no?" His mother sat beside him, putting a hand on his shoulder.
"Mama, we never talked about my marriage. We just talked about how good Ruba is, which she actually isn't," He gritted his teeth, mumbling the last part in his mouth.
"Ammar this has been going on since your childhood. What is so shocking in it?"
"Mama, how is it fair that I don't have a say in my own life? How can you just go and fix my engagement with anyone,"
"What does it mean? I asked you what are your thoughts about Ruba and they were all good," her mother deadpanned at the look he was giving her.
"Mama, you never told me why were you asking it. And if Ruba is a nice girl, it doesn't mean I will go ahead marry her. Mahnoor is a nice girl too, would I go and make her my wife? For god's sake Mama, they are all like Rida to me," He stood up opening the top button of his shirt. He was already feeling the need to break everything visible and this new shit was suffocating the hell out of him.
"Ammar, are you even in your senses? Everything is confirmed now. I won't let you do this to her. Everyone knows that you two are going to be married from your childhood," She stood up too.
His father just stood at the corner looking between both of them.
"No Mama, this is not how it works. I will have a say in who I want to marry and I don't want Ruba in my life, do you understand this? And now please call it off."
"Hasan, why are you not saying anything to him? Your son has gotten mad," She huffed.
"This is my final decision and no one can force me." He said looking between his parents.
"What has gotten into you, Ammar?" His mother gritted her teeth and his father finally had enough.
"Stop it you both. Ammar, sit here." He said to his son, who was pacing the length of the room now.
"Baba, I am not being bribed into this," His father glared and he sat down.
"Sumera, this is not the way to do this," He turned to his wife.
"I don't care about anything. Make him come downstairs in fifteen minutes or tell him to not see my face again," She gave him a look, and went out making him look at his father.
"Ammar, calm down. You know that I won't let anything happen without your consent," He stood infront of him, putting a hand on his shoulder.
"Didn't you listen to what she said?"
"I did but she is just stressed about everyone right now. I will talk to her after they would be gone. Now freshen up and come down,"
"But Baba,"
"I told you nothing is happening without your consent. Don't you trust me?" He nodded and his father gave him a small smile.
"I already know there is a reason behind all this but I want you to tell me yourself. Okay?" His lips turned up under his palms and his father patted his shoulder walking out.
He took a deep breath, unbuttoning his shirt.
"Fucking marriage." He muttered walking to the restroom.
_
"We will do a small dholki before engagement, okay?" Ayesha said. All the cousins were settled in the backyard playing cards.
Ammar just shuffled his cards, his mind lost in a world of his own.
"Ayesha, have patience. It's not like the engagement is next week," Mahnoor chuckled, elbowing Ammar as it was his turn. He threw his card, leaning back with his hands on the grass, and stared up at the sky.
"Ammar Bhai, what happened? You don't look interested in the game," Kiran muttered from his other side.
"I don't feel like playing." He got up walking into the house.
Everyone gave each other a glance before shrugging and continued their game.
Ruba looked at the door longingly. Her heart had been beating at a whole another level, she was excited yet scared.
Excited for her dreams to finally come true and scared at his attitude, he did not even spare her a glance the whole time he was here.
_
Ammar leaned on the wooden railing, with his hands curled around it, and stared up at the sky.
The restlessness was making his suspicions right.
He had feelings for her. He doesn't like Ruba. It's not like he hated her or something but she just didn't mean anything to him except a cousin.
His reaction to having any woman in his life, the way he was on the edge until his father had asked him to trust him.
He was not thinking of any other problem. He just wanted to live in this little bubble right now, just want to live in this moment.
He looked up at the moon. The night suddenly seeming so bright, so lively. The bitterness of the prior events being replaced with the sweetness of this newfound emotion.
He had never imagined himself liking any girl, marrying was a whole other thing.
He couldn't believe that he liked someone and that too the same woman he was jealous of a few months earlier.
He was jealous of her achievements. He thought she didn't deserve it. But if someone asked him now, she deserved every inch of the position she had carved in. He had seen the hard work she put in. The dedication. The passion. The work itself screamed to be recognized, to be acknowledged, to be complimented.
He suddenly realized that he still didn't know her. Yes, he knew her name, her family, her work, and yet he didn't know her. There was so much he wanted to know about her.
Why did she behave as she did? Why was she so different from all the other girls? And it was not like he had any problem with her being different because that was what made her, her.
He sighed running a hand through his hair.
His thoughts were running around her only.
How her eyes have affected him? How her tears made his heart clench inside his chest? How her smile made him smile which was too rare for him. Nothing of this sort has ever happened before. It was crazy.
_
Zahra had gone to the rooftop and the soft wind had compelled her to spend some more time before getting into her suffocated room and memories.
She had prayed here and now sat on the floor, staring up at the starry sky.
The loneliness bought the happenings of the day again. The accusations, her past being dragged again.
She regretted even telling Husna everything. She regretted opening up. Whenever she had let her walls down, whenever she had been vulnerable infront of people, they had shown their truth. They had shown her how trusting wasn't her thing.
She had decided. She wasn't letting her walls down ever again. Her closed-off self was letting her even breathe in this society.
This society, these people. They don't let someone like her live.
She didn't deserve to live, to be happy, to trust, to love. They were not made for her. The only thing she deserved was hurt, betrayal, pain, and anger.
She didn't know what had gone wrong. What bad did she do in her life to deserve this?
This world. It was so selfish sometimes that people like her got thrown out like trash. Just as garbage does not deserve to be in the house, selfless people didn't deserve to be in this selfish world.
And she had learned. She had learned to be selfish, to live in this world. She has to be selfish.
But it was true you can not kill your real self no matter how much you try. It wants a release at some point and it was the same for her.
She couldn't help herself helping others. She trusts people again and again, and they crush her whole existence under their feet. They are inhumane. They don't care about other person's feelings, their emotions. How much it can affect their mental health.
And now as she thought, Husna did the same too. She did what everyone does.
She thought about herself. She assumed things on herself. She judged.
Zahra had understood it from the way she looked at Harib. The way, her whole posture had gone stiff. The way she had tilted her head to stare at him when he was signing the papers.
But she still couldn't forgive her. She had cursed her character. Her past.
Zahra shut her eyes tightly, wanting all of her thoughts to just stop. To let her mind be empty.
She was searching for calm in this chaotic world.
_
"Report back to me in half an hour," she closed the file walking back to her cabin and found Husna standing there, staring out the wall-length window.
Zahra shut her eyes close before clearing her throat.
Husna turned around walking to the table and handed her two envelopes.
"My resignation letter, and.." Zahra looked at her face as she said that.
"A letter for you." She raised her eyes at that.
"I won't read it," She started sitting on her chair.
"I won't take it back either." She shrugged before picking up a box from the chair.
"Thanks, but I can't take it too," She extended the chocolate box to her and Zahra glanced at it, not giving any sort of reaction.
Husna stared at her, wanting to hear something. Wanting to be told how she was wrong but Zahra didn't say anything.
"I wish you the best life ahead." Husna closed her eyes tightly.
"Zahra, you-"
Zahra stood up, tore the personal letter, picked the pieces and chocolate box, and threw them in the trash bin. Picking up her resignation letter, she bent over the table and signed it.
"I won't give any single explanation to your accusations." Her words came out more bitter than she had intended before she walked out gritting her teeth.
_