I had went to sleep with Demi before, but not like this. I woke up the next morning to find her watching me with a smile on her face. I immediately blushed and hid my face under the blankets. I wasn't used to this side of her. It was all very new to me. In the past, I'd wake up to find her gone or I would leave before she woke up. We'd also never had sex either. Her scent still lingered on my skin.
"Morning." She rasped.
"Hey." I grinned as I peeked out from behind the blankets.
"I could get used to this." She said as she stretched.
"Oh?"
"Yeah." She chuckled.
We laid in silence as we slowly left the last remnants of sleepiness behind. I felt at peace with her laying next to me. It was a perfect moment.
There were a lot of things that we had yet to figure out. Rehab was simply the first step in a lifelong process of recovery. The hardest work was still ahead. She lived an extraordinary lifestyle, full of temptation and excess. It wouldn't take much to derail her.
"What now?" I asked gently.
"I don't know. I'm just gonna love you and see where that takes me." She smiled.
"Are you thinking about giving it up?" I asked in reference to the band.
"Maybe. It would make sense." She said pensively.
"Is that what you want?"
"I haven't really thought about it." She said dismissively.
"Maybe you should."
"Maybe. But for now I'm gonna lay here in bed with the most beautiful woman I've ever seen and forget about all the extra bullshit."
"I like that plan." I smiled.
We spent the rest of the morning in bed. The only reason we actually got up was because my stomach demanded to be fed. I was surprised when she suggested going out for lunch. I knew the second that people figured out she was back from rehab, they'd be all over her. I reluctantly agreed. As we got ready to leave the house, I could feel my anxiety rising.
"Selena." She said as she looked at me with an amused expression. "I need you to stop."
"Stop what?"
"Treating me like I'm fragile and easily broken." She answered gently.
"I'm not." I said defensively.
"You are."
"But aren't you?" I sighed.
"No." She smiled.
"I'm sorry. I just don't know how this works. I want you to be ok."
"I will be ok. I've got you to look after me. Relax. I've got this. We've got this." Se reassured me. "It's breakfast."
I silently nodded and we headed out into the big scary world. Surprisingly, we were able to enjoy the meal with minimal interruptions, it was the leaving the restaurant part that concerned me. Paps were all over the restaurant. Each vying to get the first candid pictures of her since she checked into rehab six months ago.
"It was bound to happen at some point." She said as she glanced toward the window.
The restaurant staff had pulled the blinds to minimize the disruption to guests, but you could still see the paparazzi milling about through the small space at the base of the window where the blinds didn't quite reach.
"You want to go out the back?" I asked.
"Nah. I'd rather just get it over with." She said indifferently. "You ready?" She asked as she offered me her hand.
I took her hand and took a deep breath as she stepped outside, pulling me with her. The flashbulbs and excited voices were almost too much for me to handle. She took it like a pro though and as we climbed into her car, she looked completely unbothered. I was actually surprised. She loathed the paparazzi.
"See." She grinned as we drove away. "Made it out alive."
"Barely." I teased as I leaned over and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek.
"Thank you." I smiled shyly.
"For what?" She asked as she paid attention to the road.
"You blocked the cameras from being in my face."
"You noticed?" She asked with a slight grin.
"Of course I noticed."
"You didn't choose this, so it's the least I could do." She explained.
"I chose this when I chose you." I said gently. "I want you to know that I can take it. Whatever you need from me, it's yours."
"You're mine. Not theirs. I know that it's hard, but I want you and me to stay as private as possible." She said slowly.
"They're going to ask about me." I said as I grabbed her hand and rested it in my lap. "People are always very interested in what you're doing with your vagina."
"My lips are sealed." She chuckled. "Obviously people are going to know we are together, I'm just not going to talk about it with the media."
"I agree." I said gently. "You don't have to protect me. I can handle it." I added in an effort to reassure her.
"I want to though." She insisted. "They don't get everything. I give too much of myself to everyone sometimes. I don't want to do that anymore. You're the only person gets everything."
"I love you."
"I know." She smiled. "I love you more."
"That's not even possible." I sighed dramatically.
"It is. If you could see you through my eyes. You'd understand." She said glancing toward me.
I silently nodded. Something told me that I wouldn't be able to win this fight regardless of how cute it was. She was dead serious. We pulled up to my house and she paused a moment before cutting off the engine.
"You wanna take a trip with me?" She asked hopefully.
"Yes." I answered without hesitation "Where?"
"It's a surprise." She grinned.
"Do I need my passport?"
"Nope. This ones gonna be a road trip."
"I'm intrigued..."
"When I told you that you get everything, I meant it." She said softly before leaning in and kissing me.
"I like this." I smiled.
"Let's get you packed." She said as she opened up the door to the car and climbed out.
We walked into the house and immediately went upstairs. I couldn't help but wrap her up in my arms. Her energy was magnetic. I was helplessly attracted to her on every level. She kissed the tip of my nose and leaned her forehead against mine.
"I have a couple things I need to do real quick." I said as she stroked my cheek with her thumb.
"Do your thing sweetheart." She said with a slight southern twang. "I'll pack for you." She said before letting me go.
I sat down at my computer desk and logged into my bank account. I always found the balance to be rather shocking and it still surprises me every time. It was absurd. I went through my emails and started paying bills at the same time. I found myself in a hurry to get off the computer. I was way more interested in Demi. I smiled as she walked over and leaned down to study the computer screen.
"Really?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.
"What can I say?" I shrugged. "I work hard."
"Remind me next time we go out, you're paying."
"Yours isn't similar?" I teased.
"I have few less zeros on mine." She mumbled.
"I was thinking about buying a yacht." I added with a smug grin.
"Alright P. Diddy." She said as she rolled her eyes.
I couldn't help but laugh at her playful teasing.
"Don't be a hater."
"A hater?" She laughed. "Who are you?"
"More money, more problems." I shrugged.
"Oh my god." She said as she shook her head. "Just remember when my birthday comes around I've always wanted to own my own country. Preferably a third world cocaine producing country." She said with a mischievous smirk.
"You're not funny." I said as I folded my arms across my chest.
"Not even a little?" She asked hopefully.
"No." I frowned.
"Too soon?"
"Extremely." I agreed.
I watched as she started to search through my closet and toss clothes out onto the bed. She then proceeded to remove the hangars and fold each article of clothing neatly before placing it into the suitcase. She looked very focused on the task at hand. I thought it was cute. I wasn't used to someone taking care of me this way. She was making sure I had everything that I needed. Based on what she was packing, she knew me well.
"You're actually packing for me?" I asked with a cheesy smile.
"Yes."
"You're adorable." I blushed.
"Stop." She laughed nervously.
"I can't help it!" I defended.
"I'm glad I can finally be this person for you." She said seriously. "I've loved you for a long time Selena."
"I know you have." I replied softly.
She finished packing and we left to swing by her house. Most of her stuff was already in suitcases anyway so she grabbed one and we left. She didn't say where we were going, but I could tell she was excited and wherever we were headed, it was extremely important to her.
We listened to music and talked as she drove. I offered to drive several times but she refused. It wasn't until we crossed the Texas state line that I realized where we were going. She was taking me home. I had never met any of her family before. She would often speak of them and it was my understanding that they didn't want anything to do with the craziness fame often pushed onto people.
"Demi." I breathed. "You could have warned me."
"You finally figured it out?" She chuckled as she stared ahead. "Relax." She added when she noticed the panic on my face. "My mom is going to love you."
"I hope so." I sighed.
"She will." Demi said with confidence. "Trust me."
She reached over and laced our fingers together as she sang along to the music and drove. Her energy immediately put me at ease. She had an air of confidence about her that made me believe when she told me I would be ok. I trusted that and I trusted her.
***
When we pulled up to the house she grew up in, I made sure to take it all in. She told me about the house and it was exactly as she had described it. Her mother had worked hard to provide for her family. It showed. She barely pulled into the driveway when the front door opened and out came two women that looked remarkably similar to Demi.
We both got out of the car and Demi was immediately tackled by the youngest of the two women. They both seemed excited to see each other.
"You must be Selena." The older woman asked as she offered her hand.
"Yes." I smiled as I took it.
"I'm Dianna." She explained. "Demi's mom."
"It's nice to meet you." I said as I released her hand.
"You're stunning. Pictures don't do you justice." She complimented.
"Thank you." I blushed.
"Let's go inside." She said as she placed her hand on my back and guided me to the door. "I'll introduce you to the Maddie once she calms down. She hasn't seen Demi in a long time."
We left Demi and Maddie outside. They were completely absorbed in one another.
"Come sit." She smiled warmly. "Let's talk."
"You have a beautiful home." I said politely as I joined her in the sitting room.
"Thank you. Demi tried to buy me a new one when she got signed, but I couldn't leave. She grew up here. She learned to play the guitar here. This house holds my children's history."
"I wouldn't want to leave it behind either." I said softly as I looked around.
"I just let her pay for everything. It makes her feel useful. She doesn't want me working anymore. It's nice. It gives me more time with Maddie." She chuckled.
"She's amazing." I said referring to Demi.
"Who exactly are you to my daughter?" She asked.
"We recently started seeing each other." I answered shyly.
"Recently?" She asked with slight grin. "There wasn't anything happening before?"
"No ma'am. There was not." I said sincerely.
"Well she doesn't bring just anyone home to her mama." Dianna smiled. "She's only ever brought one other girl home before and I knew the second I met her she was nothing but trouble...but you...you're something else entirely."
"I'm not sure what to say." I said nervously.
"You don't have to say anything." She smiled. "I've known about you for a while now. When I heard what happened...the night she attacked you, I told her that she either did what you were asking or she wouldn't see Maddison again."
"I was wondering what made her show up that night. I knew it wasn't me."
"Don't sell yourself short dear. She got on that plan because of you, I just gave her no choice."
"I didn't expect her to show up honestly." I said quietly. "She was so far gone."
"You're the best thing that's ever happened to her." Dianna responded. "You pushed her just enough and in the end even if you don't realize it, you saved her. You were there when it mattered the most and I will be forever thankful for that."
"Dianna I..."
"Don't argue with me." She said, cutting me off. "You gave her hope again and that's how you saved her. We can sit her and talk about how she saved herself, but without that hope she wouldn't have went anywhere."
I couldn't help the tears that started to fall. I had been through a lot when it came to Demi and to hear her mom, whom I'd never met, thank me the way she was touched me very deeply. I didn't want to take credit for Demi's recovery, but Dianna made me feel like I was an important part of it.
"I just didn't want to lose her."
"And you didn't." She smiled as she handed me a tissue.
"Mind if we join you?" I heard Demi ask as she and Maddie came into the room.
"Not at all." Her mom said as she gestured for them to sit.
"This is my little sister Maddie." Demi explained.
"Hi Maddie." I smiled.
I was surprised when the teenager hugged me tightly.
"Thank you." She whispered in my ear.
I nodded as I hugged her back. Before I could object, I found myself being drug into the kitchen to make cookies. It was a family recipe I was told. The entire process was complete chaos. There were baking ingredients everywhere, loud music playing, and a lot of dancing. My face hurt from smiling so much. In a matter of hours, her family became mine.
Later that night when we finally climbed into bed, I was exhausted and completely full of love. Her family was amazing and I co plenty understood why they stayed out of Demi's spotlight. It wasn't really who they were. They were simple people that didn't really much. I could tell Demi loved them both tremendously.
"I feel like I'm dreaming." I whispered as I rolled over and faced Demi. "Like I'm going to wake up and none of this will be real."
"Me too." She confessed. "It all seems to good to be true."
"You wanna know how I know it's real?" I asked. "This." I said before my lips found hers.
I felt her hands slide around my waist as she pulled me closer and deepened the kiss. This was the part of her that no one else would ever have. She was mine.
"How long?" I asked slightly out of breath. "How long have you wanted to be with me?"
"When you took my hand that night five years ago and jumped off a cliff with me. You told me you trusted me. I didn't have a chance after that, you belonged to Nick though." She said as she stroked my cheek. "I have never wanted anything as much as I want you."
"I never belonged to him. I was always yours, I just didn't know it." I said softly. "Was it hard for you seeing me with him?"
"It killed me." She answered honestly.
"Is that why..."
"You will never be the reason why I did anything that I did. Never. You have always been the best part of my life." She interrupted. "Do you understand that?"
"Yes." I whispered before her lips once again captured mine.
Once again I lost myself in her. Everything seemed so simple. I was hers and she was mine. There wasn't anything else, just us.
I knew that we would eventually have to return to reality. Her reality was stressful and quite often consuming. I had no idea how she would cope with all the triggers she'd be exposing herself to on a regular basis. At this point I actually didn't know if it would matter anyway. There was a very real possibility she was going to leave the band. She hadn't really decided anything yet. I dint want to push her, but at the same time I wanted to know.
Despite her laid back mood I could still sense a bit of unrest radiating below the surface. She wasn't meant to be tamed and I was afraid that at some point she'd feel caged and break free. She made me forget that she was actually still very sick and despite what she said, she was still very fragile. I wasn't sure if she was even ready for a relationship.
Boy did she prove me wrong.