Get some popcorn, it is a long one (three thousand five hundred words.)
....
"Hey, bud, we need to talk about something," Dad has a pained look on his face. I can feel the anxiety crawling up in my throat as I hesitantly nod and follow him to his room. Once we enter his room, he closes the door. Mom is sitting on the couch gripping a mug, I walk to sit across from her and Dad sits next to her.
"So... Peter... when you were- um- gone, your identity was revealed by... him... and he portrayed you as a villain," Tony concludes, Pepper places a hand on his leg and he relaxes a little bit.
"What do you mean a villain? Did nobody believe it right? I mean I spent every night saving the city!" I ramble, I knew the identity thing was inevitable, but a villain?
"I know you didn't actually do this... but-but, somehow he made videos of you killing innocent people or letting them die," Pepper responded with a look of regret on her face.
My heart skips a beat and tears immediately spring to my eyes.
"I know you didn't do it, Peter. We can fix it." Tony says again reaching out his hand.
"Y-You do-don't under-understand..." I whisper.
"Yes we do Peter, we know you didn't do it..." Pepper says softly.
Guilt creeps up in my chest and spreads through my body. I'm a murderer. I did it. I really killed them.
The guilt is soon replaced with anger, anger at everything, a part in me snaps and I push myself up from where I was sitting, "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! The day you found me and I started freaking out and said 'Don't make me kill another person' that was real. You don't understand because I did kill all of those people. It's my fault they are dead. I am a murder!" I scream.
I look down at my parents, their faces are in shock and fear, lips slightly parted and eyes wide. A tear slips out of Mom's eyes and a hand flies over Dad's mouth. I rip my eyes from their's and head straight for the door.
They don't say anything. They let me go. I am a monster. I continue down the hall and down the stairs, right through the front door. I walk down the wooden path and into the lab disguised as a shed. I punch in the code and the door opens revealing my second home.
I sit down at one of the stools and throw my head against my arms resting on the counter. "H-hey, FRIDAY... Pl-play all-new segments in the last three weeks involving me." My voice is hoarse from screaming and I curl my legs under myself and bring my head up from the table.
"I'm not sure that's a good idea Arachnid kid," Her voice says from above.
"Play it."
The screen appears in front of my and pain is sent through my heart just seeing that room. Tears stream down my cheeks and I watch as I pull the trigger and hit what I thought was a bullseye on the target.
...
The next morning I find myself sitting at the counter with Mom, Dad, and Harley telling them everything. Telling them about each person I murdered and how I was forced to. I told them about the illusions, and how the mask didn't allow me to breathe. I told them about the last time when I saw Harley and Morgan. I thought the person I killed was Mr. Beck.
Happy took Morgan to his house for the day so that the four of us could talk without risk of Morgan's innocent ears hearing. One day I will tell her, but not until she is much older.
"Peter, I think you need to release a statement. Coming from me it sounds like a cover-up... coming from the Spider-Man himself with no mask or filter will leave more of an impact," Mom says, setting a hand on my shoulder.
"Are you crazy, Pep! He shouldn't have to tell the whole world about what happened to him, that is ridiculous!" Dad exclaimed suddenly. He shoved his face in his hands and Harley laid a supportive hand on his back.
"Tony, I know it sucks and it is going to be hard but what other choice do we have!" Pepper responded in a harsh tone make me flinch. I don't like it when the fight, especially because of me. Harley and I make eye contact and then look back to mom and dad.
"I'm Tony Stark for christ sake, I saved the world, I should at least be able to protect my goddamn son from something that resulted from not being able to save him!" Dad screamed, pushing his chair back and standing up. Tears fell from his eyes and Harley's hand fell away from his back.
Sure, my mom and dad got into fights, but none of us has ever seen Dad this furious at her or the other way around. Tears threaten to spill over eyelids, and Pepper and Harley stare at him in shock. My body tremors at the loud noise and the impact of what I've done to him.
If I would've tried harder maybe I would never have gotten kidnapped and none of us would be in this situation. Dad wouldn't feel like a failure on Mom wouldn't be so worried all the time. Harley wouldn't have to fear he'd wake up to find his little brother gone and Morgan the same.
Dad's eyes fell to mine and guilt swam in them. "Peter... I'm so sorry," His voice was soft and he quickly wiped away his tears walking around the table to give me a hug. I fell into his embrace,
"I'm so sorry," I whispered into his chest, still crying.
"This isn't your fault Peter. I'm sorry," He responded his voice breaking at the end.
...
Two days later, the plan was set. I sat on a chair in the kitchen, a camera in front of my face. Dad is standing behind it, Mom and Harley next to him. My leg bounces anxiously on the tile floor and I play with my hands.
"You ready, buddy?" Dad asked. I wasn't, not in the least, but I nodded anyway. There was a small click and then a red light appeared telling me the camera was on.
"Hellow everyone," I say in a cracked voice, "It's me, the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man," my voice breaks off and I whip my eyes, "My real name is Peter Benjamin Stark. Son of Tony and Pepper. I-I'm sure m-many of you think I'm..." It was just then I realized my eyes were trained on the floor. I bring them up to meet the camera, "... an evil monster... a murder. Maybe, I am, god, I think I am. A-anyway, you all still need to know the full truth. On February 4th, my parents and aunts and uncles, the Avengers, went out to eat. My older brother, my younger sister, and I were left at home. After my little sister went to bed, people dressed in black with masks on snuck into our house..."
A small sob escapes my mouth and I reach forward to grab the kleenex Mom is handing me. I quickly wipe my eyes before continuing.
"I was kidnapped. He tortured me and created those videos of me ki-ki-killing those people. I wish, god... I wish those were fake but that wouldn't be the truth. I need to tell you the truth. The man who kidnapped me, he gave me a Spider-Man suit and forced me to put it on. I had no choice so I did. The first time the suit suffocated me. I couldn't breathe. He was a smart man. He set illusions in my suit so instead of seeing a person I saw a target. I hit the bullseye on the target. When I took my mask off I saw a dead lady. The lady I murdered... I'm so sorry. I didn't know. He put me under so many illusions or gave me suits that I physically couldn't move in. I-I'm Spider-Man! I should've saved them! But... but I couldn't. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry!"
I began to break out in sobs and I don't know how long it was before the video cut out but eventually, a warm pair of arms are around me. "You aren't a monster, Peter. You didn't know what was going to happen. Anybody else would've done the same thing," he whispers into my ear.
....
2 weeks later
The news was still going crazy. Analyzing anything and everything I said, making conspiracy theories and everything. My fan base blew up, everybody posting videos on how bad they felt for me. It is nice, knowing that some people don't think of me as a monster. Even if I do.
There are people out there though that do not feel any pity towards me. Anything besides anger really. Some even started petitions to lock me up and put me in jail. They said murder is a murder no matter the circumstances. They believed that no matter the person, superhero or not, should be penalized for their crimes. I agree with that. Maybe I did have a choice. Maybe I could've done something about it.
Maybe, I am just trying to justify everything wrong that I did to make myself feel better. I should have let myself suffocate in that mask on the second day I wore it. I should have never believed in the illusions. I'm supposed to be smart. I should've just let myself die.
"Hey, Petey, you ready?" Harley asks walking into my room. I nod and swivel around in my chair to face Harley.
"Hi Harls," I stammer out making me way across the room. He set a hand on my shoulder and gently shook it.
"Everything is going to be ok. I'll be there the whole time, and so will Ned and MJ. Everything will be ok." He reassures me.
"Thank you," I barely get out. I grab my backpack as well as the file with all of the missed schoolwork in that I have to hand in today.
After a long goodbye to both mom and dad, the three of us climb into the car. Morgan climbs into her booster seat, me into the passenger side and Harley behind the wheel. We drive down the road and through the trees before we are back in the city.
I haven't been to the city since Mr. Beck. I haven't been anywhere besides the Avengers facility in fact. I forgot how loud and crowded the streets were, and how bad the city actually smelled.
The rest of the car ride went quickly. Too quickly, Morgan babbled for most of the time about her new friend, Kate. She also told us about her mean to teach Mrs. Boomer and her super nice teacher Mr. Z. Listening to her talk makes me smile.
Once we arrive at the elementary school Morgan gives us both hugs from behind the seat then grabs her backpack and bounces into the school.
"How you holdn' up, Petey?" Harley says looking at me for a moment while he drives from the bustling school to our less exciting one.
"I'm nervous, Harls, what if someone says something about it? What if they call me a murder? Harls..." I whisper wiping at my eyes to stop myself from crying.
"That's not going to happen. I won't let it happen. No matter when it is, text or call me if you need something. I don't care if I'm in the middle of class or lunch. Call me." He says in a stern voice. I just nod and play with my fingers on the short ride.
Once we enter the school I sit in the car for a moment unmoving. Seeing all the familiar faces hurts for some reason. And I'm not quite sure why.
"Come on Petey, we got go. Sooner is better than later."
I nod and grab my backpack and open the car door.
It's time.
Together Harley and I walk up the front steps, everyone staring at us in the process. Harley pushes open the doors and I follow behind him. The school is exactly as I remember besides for a few new posters hanging up above the lockers.
Harley and I walk through the familiar halls right to our lockers, it is alphabetized so they are right next to each other. Ned and MJ are pretty close by too. After we drop some stuff in our lockers we head towards MJ and Ned's lockers.
Halfway through I see my best friends walking opposite directions like me. Probably to my locker. I stop for a moment and then so do MJ and Ned.
"Oh my gosh, Peter!" Ned exclaims running up to me and giving me a hug, "I was so nervous, and I called you so many times! And then you didn't show up and we walked past your locker every day to see if you were there, and then the videos and the other videos, oh my gosh Peter!"
I hug him back and blink back tears, "I'm ok, Ned."
He lets go and takes a few steps back, "I got a new lego kit! It is of the minimum falcon, 2400 pieces! The top even opens up and then it came with a Han Solo and Chewy lego! I got it 2 months ago but wanted you to help me build it. I also got the new Star Wars movie on DVD so we should totally have a marathon!" Ned rambled.
I just nodded, "That would be great."
"Hey, Loser... I missed you or whatever," Mj says with a slight head nod.
"Aw you missed me?" I say in a mocking voice with a slight smile.
"Ok lovebirds, we got to go to class." Harley interrupted, right as the warning bell rang.
"Oh shit!" I exclaim and hurry down the hallway with everyone.
"Uncle Steve wouldn't approve of that young man!" Harley says jokingly I roll my eyes.
As we pass MJ's class we all say goodbye to her. Ned and I have the same first block, so when we get to my classroom I give Harley a quicky hug and he whispers in my ear, "You'll be fine, Petey."
"Thank you," I whisper before walking into class with Ned. Most of the seats are filled besides a few in the back so Ned and I head straight to the back. Unfortunately, it just makes it more noticeable when they look back at me. Ned tries to give them a 'MJ glare' but I don't think it is as effective.
I grab out all of the work I made up and walk to the teachers desk, "Hi Mr. Harrington, um, here is all the work that I missed," I say and hand him the stack of paper.
He looks up from his desk with a small smile, "Thank you Peter, glad to have you back. Oh, and if you need anything let me know, ok?" He says in a sweet voice.
I nod and walk back to my seat, eyes following me the whole time back to my desk. The remainder of first block I sat with my hands in my lap and eyes trained on the desk. I listen to what he was saying and wrote down a few notes here and there, but that was it.
...
My next class is in the basement, and I don't have any friends in it. However, it is right next to Harley's room which is nice. Especially now. Because it is in the basement there are no windows. My heart rate picks up a little bit and I try to focus on anything besides the how small and enclosed it is.
I had my extra work to this teacher as well, and she just gives me a wired look before I go back to my desk. I came back just in time for the world war two unit. At least, I'll have primary sources for the project... I guess. I don't really like this teacher, she doesn't even know our names.
After the bell rings, she walks to the front of class and begins her lecture. We talked about Steve Rogers, and Bucky Barnes. That made me laugh a little. Imagine learning about your uncles in school... In history. I'll have to tease them about being old and moldy later.
The next slide is a picture of Steve, Bucky, and a few others. I scan the faces so I could ask Steve and Bucky about them later. My eyes stop over one person, his hair is slicked back and he has a large beard. He seemed so out of place because everyone else was cleanly shaven at the time.
He looked like...
Peter stop.
He is dead.
I close my eyes and look up at him again, his face seemed to morph even more and he looked like Mr. Beck.
From the eyes to the crooked smile, "Kid, in the back, are you alright."
Kid. Kid.
I grab my phone from my pocket and fumble with it for a moment. My body is trembling and I can barely click on the name on my phone.
"Peter?" An urgent voice says on the other side of the phone.
Another memory breaks through my mind, "H-Harls...?" I whimper.
It's an illusion, which one will I have to kill? Oh god... please don't make me do this... God no! Please... no. I don't want to kill anyone. It is not fair!
The door opens and my eyes snap up to his. Harley.
He walks over to m chair, kneeling down beside me. "Don't make me kill anyone, please!" I gasp out, tightening my hand around Harley's shirt.
"Petey, your safe. You're at school, everyone is safe."
"No! It's an illusion. You not my brother! You are Mr. Beck!" I scream lunging forward tackling him to the ground.
"Peter, it's me. I swear you've been back for months! Mr. Beck is already dead, you are here. You are safe. I promise. Remember last year, Uncle Bucky, you, and me went out together, to go bowling? The first time you went you cracked the ball? Right in half?" Harley whispers slow pushing himself up.
I sit back on my knees and look him in the eye, "Harley? It's really you?"
"Yeah, Peter." He pulls me into his embrace and helps me stand up. He leaves one hand on my shoulder and grabs my backpack with the other. "Let's go get Morgan, ok? She only has half days."
I nod, together we walk out of the classroom and straight to Harley's car. He puts our backpacks on the opposite side of Morgan's backpack and then crawls into the driver's seat.
...
When we pull up to the school, it is flooded with little kids getting to their parents, and older kids, 6th graders, out at recess. Harley and I both walk out of the car trying to find Morgan. "Oh, she's over there," I say and point across the schoolyard.
Harley and I walk over to her with smiles on our faces. Unfortunately, they quickly turn into frowns. Morgan is standing with her arms crossed and a look of anger on her face, an older boy is looking down at her with his hands on his hips and a mean expression on his face.
"Don't talk that way about my big brother," She snaps, "You don't know anything about him!"
"I know that he is a murder!" The man hisses back.
"Get away from her!" I say just below a scream. Fear flashes across the boy's eye, and I quickly pick up Morgan. She wraps her hands around my neck and sets her face in my shoulder.
"He was saying mean things about you, Petey." She said with a tremble.
"It's ok, Morgan, thank you for standing up for me," I whisper in her ear, rubbing her back.
I look back over to the guy with an expression of anger, "Ho-"
"Peter, go back to the car with Morgan," Harley says, cutting me off.
"Bu-" I try to say,
"No," Harley responds looking from me to the boy. I nod and walk with Morgan back to the car.
Morgan sighs, "He was a meanie. Like those news reports, pretend to know what they are talking about but have no clue! Don't listen to them Petey, they just like to make drama,"
I falter for a moment not quite sure what to say. Morgan is right though, none of them really do know what happened.
Realization dawns in m head and I can't help but smirk and hold Morgan a little tighter,
I got the best advice in my life from a little five-year-old.
A very smart five year old.