Laksh Maheshwari starred at his ex fiancee without a word. He hadn't expected her memory to return any time soon nor feel this confusion with regards to his changed feelings ever since he found out she was Sanskar's Robin .
Because how can he love and hate a same person,he loved Swara but hated Robin for the pain she caused his cousin by abandoning him . Sanskar always had been a fool when it comes to her , that he believed she would understand him skipping their meeting to help someone in need but Robin failed him .
Laksh had been the one who had seen his cousin go back to his shell and lose his smile ,it was also the reason Laksh father forced him to marry Sakshi because he knew Sanskar was vulnerable and had no longer had reason to fight for his way .
The news hit the newspaper first and then his dad emotionally blackmailed Sanskar by claiming he raised him and his entire business will fall apart if Sanskar backed off because Ramprasad uncle wouldn't forgive them if his daughter engagement got broken . Even then Laksh argued against his father to stop pressuring his cousin .
His mother spoke up in favour of her nephew as well but at the end Sanskar gave in due to his father continuous pressure . And Laksh had been relieved when Sanskar began to change after their marriage , Sakshi brought him back from Robin and he had been thankful to his sister in law until her death which destroyed everyone and left pain in its wake.
Now to realise Robin was the same Swara he fell in love with was an hard discovery ,one which he hadn't fully understood yet . Ragini,his wife and Sanskar ,his cousin both have decided to leave them alone to talk which he was thankful for because he didn't want his cousin or wife to come to Swara defense .
His love for Swara stemmed from the fact she was as lost as him when they met ,he was devastated at losing his cousin over to grief and she had lost her parents .He understood grief and she had been his lifeline to get back to the land of living and he thought it had been fate that propelled them to the point of marriage . Yet now he couldn't find the same outlook towards their future .
" I wasn't in love with you , I liked you Laksh but I wasn't in love with you " he heard the words from her when she broke the silence between them , a fact he knew all along . She had told him often that he was safe place to her and she didn't think she had it in her to love and he believed with time she would come to love him .
" Then why agree to marry me ,why move to India when you life would be in danger not just yours but Ragini as well " he asked her silently hoping her answers would make him understand her because he was at loss , back then he was too caught up in grief to think it through but now he had to wonder .
" Because I wanted to catch her or die trying . It bit morbid when you think about it but grief could make you lose your mind and add guilt to it then you become a stranger to even yourself , and most of my decisions were taken when I was at some sort of breakpoint.
I liked you Laksh but i didn't want to marry you , i was just holding on to you as the reason for my actions and conscience . I genuinely convinced myself that I am going to India for you ,I really made myself belief marrying you was enough of a reason to go back but truthfully I was just finding excuses to return and you were mine , I wanted to come back to find her " Swara answered back surprising him with the candid nature of her answer and yet it did bring in the reality that she really didn't care about him or love him .
" What about Sanskar ,were you using him as well or did you really have a reason to abandon him " Laksh asked back instead ,he could accept her hasty decision in regards to him as grief and guilt but none of it explains her reason to abandon his cousin .
" What happened between me and Sanskar is not up for discussion " She answered back and he wanted to ask more questions but decided it was futile ,it was up to his cousin to make up his mind .
" Are you really going to get divorced ?" She asked when he failed to say anything more and he wanted to tell her that it was not up for discussion just like her but he didn't know how he felt about Ragini proclamation just yet ,he has been the one who told her that he would let her go when they found Swara and he has no right to hold on to her still he wasn't willing to think about it ,at least not yet.
" No ." He answered back instead and walked outside unwilling to continue explaining himself when he hardly understood his mind .
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Swara let out a sigh of relief when Laksh answered No , she felt terribly guilty about her actions when she faced him and if he was heartbroken over her betrayal than it would always remind her about her foolishness .
When she met Laksh ,she felt a kindred spirit someone who felt the loss of a family and he even told her about his estrangement with his cousin ,if only Swara had once asked about his name .Because she wouldn't have led him on if she knew he was Sanskar cousin .
As she told Laksh , she didn't think she was capable of love after losing Sanskar due to her decisions and when her parents died ,she lost her family as well .Ragini did her best tried to spend time with her awhile managing her works which demanded almost all of her remaining time ,and she had been lonely and Laksh had been a solution that kept her away from sinking into depression .
When she returned to India and met his family , she has began to find solace in having a family of her own and she let it guide her decision further without stopping to think about anything else ,she had often told Laksh even back then that her heart was locked away ,he had assume it was due to grief and she never clarified it belong to someone else .
But on impulse a week before the marriage ,she had searched for Rajeev or Sanskar on the internet ,trying to find if he she could contact him and she couldn't find any ways to reach him ,so gave up to the inevitable of being married to Laksh until her past caught up with her .
Swara had hoped the next time she faced her parents killer ,she would be able to catch her or kill her and yet in truth she had ended up being stabbed and almost killed for the second time , Swara had underestimated her back then ,a mistake she won't make this time around .
" Are you okay " she heard her cousin voice speak up next to her and realized she has been crying ,ever since she regained her memory ,she had been crying often as if her brain is finally catching up with her emotions that was locked away.
" You should hate me . Laksh had been right,I had no right to put your life on danger by bringing you back to India and he had been your friend and I was too selfish to not realize my actions would take its toll on you ,You always knew my heart wasn't in Laksh yet you supported me and my foolishness until you payed the price by ending up married to him as well " Swara spoke up as the feeling of guilt made its way when it comes to her cousin .
" They may not be my parents Swara but they raised me as their daughter and I understood your reasons to find her even when your actions were scived, I had hoped you and Laksh would be able to heal each other and even now it not too late , I know Laksh still loves you and once the divorce is settled you can .." her cousin was still speaking but Swara cut her off with the shake of her head
" I don't love Laksh ,Ragini and the Swara who wanted to marry him is no longer around ,she was washed away in the rivers . The girl that is standing before you is not just someone grief stricken by her parents ,not the same Swara who wants to find the missing memory that would help her catch the killer .
My memories gave me back my past but it won't determine my future . I still want to find her but in the meanwhile I am content to live here as Sanskar friend ,as dida granddaughter and as Asha .." she ended the sentence abruptly because she didn't know how to express how she felt about the little one in words.
Over the months Swara had taken to view asha as more than Arjun daughter but someone she can shower her love unconditionally .
Even before she liked Arjun she loved the little girl and now to realize she was Sanskar daughter meant she loved her a little bit more and she is never going to be ready to leave her .
" You never really talked about Sanskar to me ,why is that ?" Ragini asked her next and she couldn't answer her back truthfully , she couldn't tell Ragini that she had been sick either ,she had kept the fact hidden from her cousin because she didn't want her to quit her studies and return to India , and Swara knew Ragini won't take the news well ,so she remained silent .
" Fine , I have let you keep your silence for so long Swara but I will never stop being there for you to listen when you are ready to talk " her cousin spoke up and with a quick hug , she left Swara alone in the room that was supposed to be Sanskar office .
And Swara stayed in his office unwilling to leave in case she had to face Sanskar again , she didn't know what to tell him about Laksh or about her heart . He obviously loved Sakshi and she didn't want to add more complications to his life ,so she remained silence until she heard a short pop up sound from his laptop that was switched on , she didn't mean to pry but her eyes fell upon the email and she knew it was from her .
He had shown her the emails sent by her yesterday,so she knew the email id and she didn't think of it as spying because she knew Sanskar would show it to her later and so she opened to read it and felt her grew restless as she began to reread it all over again .
Dear Sanskar ,
Do you know I paid a little visit to your uncle emails and found out something interesting , I usually don't snoop in but have set a remainder in his account if you name was mentioned and I am sure you would thank me when you read the attachment . I would always take care of you Sanskar .
Yours ,
Miss X ( Well wisher " ).
Swara knew she shouldn't open the attachment as well ,but curiosity made her open it or concern for Sanskar because whatever the news was the person knew it would surprise Sanskar , and it left her reeling to find that his uncle had used Sanskar house as a collateral for a debt .
She knew Sanskar would never risk Asha home for anything and wondered how his uncle gained access to use Sanskar house for his debt .
Sanskar must have read the message as well from his phone because he walked inside her room looking agitated and angry , swara didn't like to see him upset and she wondered what was miss X intention of reveling it to him.
" He had no right to do this to me " Sanskar spoke up once he looked at her and she understood his frustration ,since he didn't know she read the email already he tried to explain but she show him the laptop screen instead telling him that she understood .
" How could he use your property as collateral without your permission" Swara asked him because she was clueless about the possibility of such an event happening without Sanskar knowledge.
" I don't know ,he had asked me to sign over some of my father shares in his company which would have been passed down to me few months back , I just didn't think he would do it to me though . I should have checked but he was my family,my father brother how could I expect him to betray me .
From the day I moved into his home ,he hated me and Laksh said it was his personality, bade maa promised me that he didn't mean those harsh words but every actions and words of his were always meant to make me upset , I did everything to please him even married against my heart and yet he continues to undermine me over and over again " Sanskar kept speaking he had been confiding in her as his friend ,she was glad he still thought of her as one but yet her mind was stuck on the fact he married against his will .
" You didn't love Sakshi ?" She asked him hating herself a bit for being selfish yet unable to stop .
" I loved her " he answered back leaving her heart crushed for the foolishness in hoping for something he hasn't been ready to give until he spoke up yet again .
" Not when i married her though , I grew to love her after our marriage .." he answered back clarifying it to her and she expected that to be the end of the topic and yet when he walked towards her ,she knew he had made a huge decision from the determination in his stride towards her .
" He has kept us apart for years because you were my friend ,I believed that it was something to do with you being Bengali but now I wonder his reason we're more to do with me and my happiness then you . I am not letting him get between us anymore. " He spoke up as he gathered her into his arms .
Swara understood his need for comfort and so she let herself forgot about everything else except them ,it has been true that they lost their childhood because of his uncle and then she got sick which threw a wrench in their reunion and now their past stood between them ,he may not have loved Sakshi when he married her but he loves her now and Swara didn't think her heart could get herself another chance with him .
Their hug were interpreted by a sound of laughter as Asha ran towards them and straight into her father arms ,Swara looked around them hoping to find dida standing near the door instead of a stranger looking at them in confusion. Sanskar stiffened a little at the sight of visitor and it took Swara a few minutes before she could clearly see him .
Swara remembered him , and at the slight widening in his eyes she knew he recognized her as well . It was to be expected because the last time they met had been in the hospital , and she didn't remember his name but know that he was Sakshi brother .
P.S :" That it for now .Not much of a cliffhanger but it was time to bring in Adharsh as well as sort out the past so we can focus on the future , let me know your thoughts and feedbacks. Hit the votes if you liked it"
Juanita Reid.