"My hearts already chose you, it's so scary thinking I could lose you, that you will turn and walk away. Maybe I win maybe I lose, but nevertheless, I'm in love with you." - SPRING GANG
•••
Wang Yibo laughed, not believing Xiao Zhan's words. He turned his eyes forward, looking at the ceiling with a smile from ear to ear waiting for his beloved to tell him he was joking.
His smile gradually disappeared, realizing it never happened.
He looked back at his beloved's eyes; Xiao Zhan's broken gaze took his breath away. A lump formed within his throat, and his burning chest made him rise abruptly from the bed.
It can't be...
"Y-Yibo, I'm sorry..." He heard Xiao Zhan's broken voice "But there is something else you should know! Meng Yao has been working for Wang Hao Xuan!"
"You..." Yibo muttered, not paying attention to Zhan's words.
"I swear I wanted to tell you, but..."
"You're a damn hypocrite." Yibo hissed.
"It was-..."
Wang Yibo pushed the nightstand abruptly, causing the glass lamp to crash against the floor. The strong impact startled Xiao Zhan.
"LEAVE! I don't want to see you again!"
Xiao Zhan, being reluctant to leave him. tried to approach him however, Yibo knocked his hand away and pushed it. Xiao Zhan lost his balance and stepped onto the broken glass.
Yibo tried to reconsider but no doubt, seeing the other with blood... made his blood burn with fervor.
"Ow!.." Xiao Zhan winced with pain. Looking at the blood under his feet. Wang Yibo tensed up as he saw what he unwillingly did. He clenched his jaw as he cursed at himself over and over again.
Xiao Zhan could care less about what just had happened. The pain he was feeling wasn't because he had glass stuck under his foot, it was the pain within him, it hurt him more knowing that Yibo may never look at him the same way again.
Yibo's gaze swept away helping Xiao Zhan onto the bed as he grabbed a towel and cleaned the wound. the burning sensation made Xiao Zhan flinch as Yibo held his foot closely.
"Wang Yibo, I'm really sorry. I know I shouldn't have lied to you, and you have no idea how many times my consciousness had been eating me up,But those times We had been together, I swear they were real then, and now." Xiao Zhan muttered slowly, putting his forehead against Yibo's, his eyes closed waiting for an answer.
An answer that seemed like forever...
"Yibo? Are you okay?" Li Ming Broke the silence as she knocked on the door.
Xiao Zhan opened his eyes as he saw the gloom like expression on the other. "I'm fine... You should go back to sleep." Yibo's calm demeanor made everything seem unnatural. What could Xiao Zhan expect from him? Could he be able to accept his apology? His mind became blank without notice as Yibo stood up.
"I need some time to think, I don't know if I can stand seeing you." Yibo ignored Zhan's gaze.
Xiao Zhan couldn't say a word he knew he couldn't stop him. His body said yes but his mind said otherwise.
Xiao Zhan's eyes were filled with water he wanted to Cry, 'can't stand seeing you' echoed in his head.
"An eye for an eye, Xiao Zhan. You saved my life and I'll let you live." Yibo once again ignored Zhan's painful tears. "After They treat your wound. I prefer us to end things here. Let's cut all ties." Yibo felt an immense amount of pain within him.
"Y-Yibo, ple-."
"ENOUGH!, can't you see I'm trying to get a hold of myself before I do something much more reckless," Yibo yelled making his statement clear. He wanted to keep Xiao Zhan at arm's length.
Yibo made sure to call his sister to cure Xiao Zhan. But once he recalled the situation his head began to spin. These thoughts made him want to go on a rampage. The hypnagogic state made him want to curse, but he needed to calm down in order to get things straight before anger and resentment takes over.
"Are you okay brother?" Li Ming asked, Yibo held onto the wall. Cold sweat ran through his body. The one person he needed so much made things meaningless.
"I'm fine... hurry and go treat his wounds," Yibo demanded.
Li Ming had never seen such dreadful expression on her brother. It astonished her. She wondered what could have happened between them?
Li Ming entered Wang Yibo's room to an expressionless Xiao Zhan. his body was stiff as he was sitting on the bed. His foot was bleeding like crazy. "Wei Ying!? What happened?" Her eyes widened, as Xiao Zhan felt nothing but remorse.
"Please lift up your foot, you may lose too much blood. I'll clean your injury." Li Ming began to cleanse the injury, she looked at Zhan's senseless eyes and fretted over the situation. "Wei Ying? What exactly happened here?"
Xiao Zhan couldn't process a thing in his brain yet, He wanted to regret ever saying a thing but he needed to, the battle in his mind became a war without an end.
"Wei Ying?!"
Xiao Zhan was so in his thoughts he Was surprised by Li Ming's presence. "I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you." Zhan shook his head to clear his mind.
"I asked what happened between the two of you?" Li Ming put a disinfectant on and focused on his foot.
"I told him something I had kept from him since the beginning, and now he never wants to see me again." Zhan's red puffy eyes and nose were visible to Li Ming, she noticed how much pain they both were in.
"I'm sure you guys can resolve everything." She smiled yet she was uncertain of her own words. She slowly wrapped his foot.
"I don't think we can. Thank you for treating my wound." Zhan stood up and limped he now felt the sharp pain in his foot and the heavyweight in his heart.
"Where are you going? You need to rest" Li Ming ran towards Zhan and grabbed his arm.
"I'm fine... I need to pack my things" Zhan half-heartedly smiled.
"But.."
"Your brother doesn't want to see me anymore, it's fine, I understand why he doesn't. I don't blame him once you see him please tell him thank you." Xiao Zhan left as he hated goodbyes.
"Keep eyes on Meng Yao, report every move he makes and make sure he doesn't notice you." Yibo gave orders as he couldn't let go of the pain he was feeling.
His mind was made up, he couldn't have Xiao Zhan in his life. The memories of his childhood came back like cold rain in the summer. Unexpected and unusual, the uncertainty he had felt was distrust.
"Keep an eye on... Xiao Zhan, I'll give you his info and keep me updated on his every move as well."
Days passed by and Xiao Zhan lost count, since he last saw Wang Yibo.
He didn't know anything about him.
And God, he would give his soul for it not to be that way. He longed for the warmth, Yibo's arms around him, those big and soft hands tracing circles on his waist, his deep voice whispering in the darkness and the lips that, at the slightest contact with his skin, put him on his knees.
He missed seeing his eyes that would only reflect him. He missed their interwoven hands when they slept. He missed his scent, his smile, his presence.
But Yibo is gone, and Zhan felt as if a part of him left that day as well.
And that was the saddest part.
Summer never felt so cold.
"Zhan."
Xiao Zhan looked in the direction of the voice. Zhuo Cheng sighed, offering his friend a beer while leaving the pizza box on the table.
"No, thanks. The smell of beer makes me nauseous." Xiao Zhan rejects.
"Is there anything that doesn't make you nauseous?" Zhuo Cheng complains, sitting next to him and opening the can. "Look at those dark circles, fuck. The night is for sleeping, not for crying, Xiao Zhan."
Xiao Zhan had been staying at Zhuo Chengs Apartment. At first it was for safety, but now, he just didn't want to go back to his house and find it empty.
Xiao Zhan hugged the pillow harder, with no encouragement to respond.
"This has gone way too far. It's been more than a month, Zhan, you can't go on like this. Tomorrow I'll talk to officer WU to assign you a new case and you'll forget all of this."
Xiao Zhan couldn't go on like this, that was true. He was acting like an idiot, but hey, love makes you do unthinkable things. Without much desire to argue -because shit! he was tired of telling his friend that he would no longer work as an agent- he leaned down to take a slice of pizza.
He chewed watching the news, without paying much attention to whatever the other was saying. Suddenly, the taste of it felt strange and the smell, the unpleasant smell...
Xiao Zhan ran to the bathroom.
Leaning over the toilet, he vomited the small portion he had chewed up and probably the cereal he had ingested that afternoon.
"What the hell, Xiao Zhan?" Zhuo Cheng knocked on the door.
Xiao Zhan vomited again when he felt the disgusting taste in his mouth.
"I'm fine, don't worry." he said loudly, as he flushed and sat on the floor "I'll be right there."
"Yeah right, you're fine." Zhuo Cheng sarcastically rolled his eyes, letting out a light laugh from the other side of the door.
The phone rings.
Xiao Zhan listens to his friend walk away. Zhan washes his mouth and looks at his reflection: it is a complete disaster from head to toe...
After a few minutes of calming himself he hears no one... he searches the rooms, and the kitchen seeing his friend on the floor unconscious. Xiao Zhan's initial reaction was to check his vitals and thank God he was fine.
Zhan sighed with relief wondering who could of done this. His mind drifted away to be attacked from behind as a handkerchief covered his nose. He tried to fight back but his legs numbed up as he breathed in the substance, the room turned into a bleak void...
...as he felt nothing more than petrified.
•••
Sorry for the late late late update please forgive me
Anyways.... I'd like to thank LienXue for being my personal betta reader she's been helping me out and she's literally the best. 🥰
Thanks for reading