Saturday, November 9th
Changbin had nearly passed out upon receiving the message when he woke up from Hyunjin, telling him that himself and Felix were heading over to his place. Apparently the eldest boy had found out his address by looking it up on snapchat, an app that Changbin never even touched since the sixth grade.
The boy fought back the urge to shove his face into his pillow in a silent scream, and instead pulled on the hoodie he had borrowed from Hyunjin, hoping if he put the hood of it up and kept the sleeves down it would conceal the new bruises that had been painted onto his skin the previous night.
Chewing on one of the strings hanging from the hoodie anxiously, he made his way down his hallway towards the living room, his footsteps hardly making any noises as his festive Christmas socks came into contact with the wooden floors. Although it was okay November, he was already in the holiday mood. Christmas was always a time where his father tended to be gentler.
He knocked on the wall of the living room, signaling his arrival in the room and watching as his dad turned to face him.
"What do you want?"
Changbin continued to chew on the string nervously, hesitating as to whether or not it was a good idea for him to be telling his father rather than asking.
'my friends are going to come over. is that okay?'
Changbins eyes raked over the several empty beer bottles and cans scattered around the living room, taking in his homes overall disheveled appearance.
His father stared back at him, the house filling with a tense silence aside from the sound of the football game playing on the television.
"Clean all of this up first."
Changbin wasn't going to complain about the task, as he was simply grateful for his father's lack of negative response towards what he had just told him.
He set to work quickly, working around where his father sat and trying his best to stay out of the way of his line of view of the television.
Once the bottles and cans had been recycled into their proper bins outside of his home, the raven haired boy speed walked back inside, making sure everything looked in place to create the illusion of just a normal home. Of course, he couldn't do much about the holes that sunk into the walls, nor could he clean up the suspicious red stain on the living room carpet, however he thought he had done a fairly decent job. It wasn't an odd task for him to complete, as he'd done it many times growing up whenever company was to come over.
He stood in the bathroom mirror, nervously fixing his hair and applying a bit of concealer to his under eyes to make himself look at least slightly more presentable. Although Hyunjin and Felix were both aware of his situation, he still felt embarrassed by his appearance.
The boy forced a small smile at himself in the mirror, not missing the fact that it looked less forced than it had in the beginning of the previous month. His heart felt slightly lighter at that, a flicker of hope seeming to ignite in his chest.
He adjusted his snakebites, feeling satisfied towards the fact that the skin around them was no longer a glaring red from irritation.
After a few more moments of fussing over himself more than necessary in the mirror, five rhythmic knocks at the front door caused the boy to jump into action, practically sprinting to the door however slowing to a casual walk at his father's shout for him to stop acting crazy.
He let out a soft breath to calm his breathing, before turning the handle and swinging the door open.
Hyunjin and Felix's grinning faces greeted him once the door had opened, Changbin feeling a smile of his own tugging at his lips simply from just seeing the two.
He opened the door more, as if inviting them inside, and the two took the invitation gratefully. The air had been beginning to chill even more, and Changbin was sure the two were probably cold from their walk there.
"You must be the friends Changbins been so busy with these past few days."
Changbins eyes widened a noticeable amount, and Hyunjin didn't miss that fact, plastering a fake smile onto his face as he turned to face the father that he had only ever heard horror stories about.
"I'm Hyunjin," the brunette greeted, slinging an arm around Changbins shoulder in what appeared to be a casual form of affection, however the raven haired boy found it almost comforting. "This is Felix," he continued, motioning towards the blond, who looked slightly anxious in the presence of the elder man.
"We were actually coming to bring Changbin to this party across town," Hyunjin claimed, Changbin trying to nod like he knew this was happening and was okay with it (reality was the complete opposite).
"You?" his father laughed, averting his gaze towards the timid boy that was his only son. "A party?"
'i just wanted to get out and socialize' Changbin signed, eyes cast down as he waited for his father's reaction.
He could tell that the man didn't buy it, his eyes raking over all three of them suspiciously.
"Don't be out too late," he finally decided on saying, faux concern laced into his gravely voice. Changbin, of course, knew that it was just a front. His father couldn't care less about what he did, as long as he didn't tell anyone about what's happened at home.
"We'll take good care of him," Hyunjin grinned, before steering the elder boy towards the door and pulling Felix along with them as they exited the house.
are we actually going to a party? Changbin typed out in his notes, a slight pout on his face.
"Well . . . we didn't think you'd agree to going," Felix admitted, grabbing Changbins hand and giving it a gentle squeeze as they walked. "..but it means a lot to Jinnie ! And Minho is probably gonna be there."
At the mention of the boy, Changbins mood seemed to brighten noticeably, and he nodded a bit at the idea of him being there too.
there will be music. and people Changbin typed next, looking up at Hyunjin with a pout back on his face.
"Just stay by us," Hyunjin spoke gently, tucking a strand of Changbins raven hair behind his ear in an almost comforting way. "You'll be okay."
• • •
Being the boyfriend of a Hwang, Changbin thought that he would've been used to seeing larger houses, especially since he practically lived at the younger boys house a majority of the time.
However, approaching Han Jisungs house, he felt his nerves began to act up, a growing feeling of nausea beginning to form in his stomach the closer they got.
There were cars parked all down the street, as well as in the (very wide) driveway. Changbins fingers found their way to Hyunjins sleeve, the boy beginning to fidget with the fabric as they neared. He could already hear the music, a repetitive beat that felt like another added blow to the head as it continued on.
Hyunjin and Felix must've noticed how the elder was beginning to feel less and less sure of himself, because both of his boyfriends moved closer, bodies pressing against each other in a way that almost anchored Changbin back to reality, which he was almost slipping away from and becoming a lost victim to his thoughts.
Truthfully, the boys reasoning behind his lack of appreciation towards music would most likely seem silly to the other two boys if he tried to explain. After all, it hardly made sense to himself. All he knew was that after his mother passed, he couldn't stand to hear it. He couldn't stand anything that reminded him of her and what memories she left behind— the good and the bad. She would sing him to sleep every night he couldn't sleep, her favorite song being La Vie En Rose, her silky melodies never failing to lure him into a comfortable, interrupted slumber. He could only hope that her current slumber was one filled with peace, rather than the loud and disruptive life that she had led both inside her head and out.
"You ready, angel?" Hyunjin whispered, Changbin unsure as to whether or not he was speaking to him or to Felix. He assumed it was towards them both.
Both boys nodded in agreement, Changbins hand gripping onto Hyunjins as tight as he believed possible as the younger pushed the door open, the foul and bitter smell of alcohol and weed filling Changbins nose.
He wanted to gag at the smell, and cover his ears almost immediately after he heard the music, but Hyunjin already knew, his arm wrapping around his shoulders and holding him into his side securely. The smell of Hyunjins cologne seemed to calm his nerves, even if it was only slightly.
An unfamiliar blonde boy, slightly on the shorter side (not as short as Changbin, however shorter than Hyunjin) stumbled over to the trio as soon as they had entered, a goofy smile plastered onto his face as he held a red solo cup of a half drunken substance.
"You're absolutely gone, Ji," Hyunjin said as a greeting, pulling Changbin closer as if he was making sure he wasn't uncomfortable by the new boy.
"This is Changbin and Felix," Hyunjin introduced the two, who both waved at the blond boy a bit awkwardly.
"This is Jisungs party," the brunet explained to his boyfriends, "Ji" nodding enthusiastically.
"Is Minho here?" Hyunjin asked next, Changbin perking up a bit at the mention of the elder boy. He was only really looking forward to getting to see him and hang out with his boyfriends— seeing as the party scene really wasn't his thing.
"Living room," 'Ji' hummed, taking a swig from his cup. "He's really high."
"Not surprised," Hyunjin joked, before pulling the two boys accompanying him.
They maneuvered through the scattered crowds of people, Changbin slightly choking on the toxicity of the smell that hung in the air. He decided on holding his breath as they traveled through the labyrinth that was the mansion that contained the party.
"Minho, what the fuck?"
Among the flashing lights and blaring music, Changbin hadn't even noticed that they'd reached their set destination. Only did he realize this once he was faced with an all too familiar scene, his heart seeming to drop to his stomach and his throat constricting pretty much out of nowhere.
Minho, obviously under the influence of something, had been hunched over the glass coffee table, reality taking a moment to set in as he recognized the white powder that covered both he and the area around him.
Hyunjins hand was ripped away from Changbins, the raven haired boy realizing that the room around him was beginning to seem far too small, the collar of his sweatshirt too tight around his neck for his liking.
Hyunjin was yelling, shaking Minhos shoulders as if he were trying to snap him out of whatever intoxicated daze he was under. What he was saying wasn't apparent to Changbin; all he could hear was white noise, his brain busy with static.
"Bin," Felix spoke beside him, hand resting on Changbins shoulder to try and get him to relax at least slightly. "Bin, look at me."
Yet still, Hyunjin just kept on yelling, eyes tearing up as he stared at his best friend who he hardly even recognized anymore.
Once Changbin had regained his feeling, he reached out to grab Hyunjins hand impulsively, desperation clear on his face as he tried to calm down his boyfriend, just wanting the yelling to stop. Everything was far too loud, becoming far too violent, and Changbin could feel another panic attack trying to come back at him full swing.
He gripped onto his boyfriends arm as tightly as he could, feeling fear surge through him as he watched his boyfriend shout empty words into the air at his best friend, who had lost his sense of reality to the drugs that he absolutely reeked of.
Seeing absolutely no other option, Changbins mouth forced itself open against his own wishes, vocal cords screaming for him to bail out before he hurt himself.
"S-stop," he croaked out, voice giving out at the end of the first word he had ever uttered in nine years.
Hyunjin seemed to freeze, three pairs of eyes turning to look at the raven haired boy in absolute shock.
Changbin opened his mouth and closed it, almost like he wanted to explain himself, however he couldn't, because he didn't process what had happened either.
"Bin," came the quiet mumble from Minho, whose eyes were bloodshot and hair a ratted mess. His nose was bleeding once again, a scene that Changbin had felt like they'd all become far too used to.
The taller boy gripped onto Changbins hoodie, the raven haired boy being able to smell the alcohol on his breath.
Something was very wrong with his friend, and as his best friend— his brother, collapsed to the ground before him, Changbin thought he could see his own mother.