Short, but I hope it's worth it.
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"Mommy, is Santa real?"
Carter knelt at the edge of Kennedy's bed, her arms resting on the midnight blue comforter. Smiling, she reached out and tucked a strand of Kennedy's hair behind her ear.
"Of course not," Carter said. "Because allowing a strange man to trespass into your house and leave unmarked packages is not only creepy but could be dangerous."
"Oh."
Kennedy stared down at her knotted fingers, her lips twisted to the side. On her six-year-old face, the expression was endearing. A soft glow from the star-shaped twinkle lights was the only illumination in the room, giving the place a secretive feel.
"Why do you ask?" Carter asked, pulling up the covers around her daughter.
Kennedy lifted her shoulders, unable to meet her mother's eyes.
"Kids at school talk about him. They say he brings you what you want the most and I..."
At the hesitation, Carter's heart tightened and she swallowed.
"And you what?"
Kennedy rolled onto her side and shoved her balled hands under her pillow. Her wide blue eyes stared at Carter with her heart hidden there.
"I was going to ask him to bring daddy home," she whispered.
Pain ripped through Carter's chest, but she never let her face show it. Instead, she climbed onto the bed beside her daughter, folding her into her arms. Kennedy leaned her head against her mother, comforted by the strength in her arms.
"Even if your father isn't home tomorrow for Christmas, he is coming home. When he does we can celebrate, all right?"
Carter willed the words to be true. Needed them to be true. There was a crater in her chest that was growing with each day, but for Kennedy, it could never be seen. They remained that way, both of them feeling too heavily the absence of Donovan.
When Kennedy's breathing slowed, Carter gently unwrapped Kennedy's arms and cocooned her in her covers. She stared down at her precious girl, seeing too many of Donovan's features.
After easing the door shut, she crossed to her room and grabbed her phone. Moving to the wall of windows, she placed a call. Outside swirls of white tumbled though the city. The muted light of the moon sparkled off the flakes looking like diamonds tossed into the sky.
"Hello?"
"Any word?"
Brock sighed on the other end of the line, the single-action saying too much. Carter closed her eyes and leaned her head on the glass, the cold leeching out her warmth.
"He's still dark," Brock said. "If anything changes I'll call you."
Tears built up behind Carter's lids but she forced them not to fall. She took in a shuttering breath and let it out slowly.
"Thank you," she said.
"Of course." He paused. "He's going to be okay. We both know Donovan, he's a fighter to his core."
Carter nodded but found she couldn't speak. The past year of staying home with Kennedy had been better than she could imagine, but the pain of knowing somewhere that Donovan didn't have her by his side, watching his back had been a factor that she hadn't accounted for.
This last mission had taken him away longer than normal and with little information on where he was. Despite knowing that he was making the world a bit better, all she wanted was for him to come home.
"He's going to be okay."
The repetition of the statement did nothing to patch the tearing sensation in Carter's heart.
"Thanks, Brock."
She hung up but remained where she was listening to the grinding of snowplows as they cleared the streets below. When she stepped back from the window, everything appeared peaceful, the snow dampening the harsh edges of the city.
Unable to feel the serenity of the view, Carter set her phone down and climbed into bed. She was wearing Donovan's clothes, but they had stopped offering the comfort of before. She buried her face in his pillow, trying to find his lingering scent.
"Come back to me," she whispered.
*****
Kennedy was stirred from sleep by a faint sound. She stayed curled in her bed, listening. Despite what her mother said, she wished with all her heart that Santa was real because she needed the magic all her friends talked about. For this reason, she pushed aside her blankets and slid out of her bed. The carpet was soft beneath her feet as she crept her way to the door.
Biting her lip, she pulled it open and snuck out, not wanting to be caught out of bed. Across the way, her mother's door was still closed. Kennedy moved down the hall to the family room. In one end was a Christmas tree still lit, the blues, greens, and reds casting strange shadows around the room.
Kennedy froze, her heart bouncing away in her chest, making her fingers tingle. She stared unblinking at the shadowed figure in the doorway.
It was a tall, bearded man coated with snow, holding a bag over one shoulder.
"SANTA!" she shrieked.
Carter was wrenched from her sleep by the scream. Gun in hand, she scrambled across the bed and down the hallway. She spotted Kennedy petrified and a man just inside the apartment, lowering a duffle bag to the ground. She raised her weapon, adrenaline spiking her veins. Before she could so much as warn the intruder, he spoke.
"Merry Christmas, Carter."
Carter dropped the gun onto the kitchen counter and raced forward, launching herself into Donovan's arms. He held onto her, lifting her off the ground.
His face was cold and he smelled of dirt and sweat. A cookie scented Santa couldn't have smelled better. She kissed him over and over again, tears streaming down her face. The beard was rough against her skin and she savored the strange new feeling.
"You're alive," she said, the words slipping out as she found new places to kiss.
Her heart beat wildly as if it hadn't been beating before.
Eventually, Carter was brought back to earth by the tug of her sweatshirt by a small hand.
"Daddy, daddy, daddy," Kennedy said, hopping up and down.
Donovan set Carter down and knelt to the ground. Kennedy circled her short arms around his neck and he kissed her cheek. He rose, lifting his daughter with him.
"You're better than Santa," Kennedy said.
Carter covered her mouth as a choked cry escaped. Donovan swiped at the tears on her cheeks, then pulled her to him with his free arm. Trying to stop, she hid her face in his chest, breathing all of him in.
"Thank you, Cadet," he said, grinning at Kennedy.
She cupped his cheeks in her baby hands and patted the thick beard.
"Why are you hairy?" she asked, face scrunched up.
Carter let out a tearful laugh as Donovan chuckled, the sound rumbling through his chest and into Carter.
"Because I had to blend in with all the other bears I was with."
Kennedy giggled. The trio moved to the couch and piled on it. Kennedy was curled up on Donovan's lap, her eyes closed, one of his arms wrapped around her. Carter took the other side, her legs tucked under her, her head resting on his shoulder. His other arm hugged her waist and she slid her fingers into his.
Sitting, she could feel as Donovan relaxed, exhaustion making everything heavy. He kissed the top of Carter's head before leaning his cheek against her hair. They didn't speak, soaking in the moment. Eventually, Kennedy nodded off, safe in her father's hold.
"I missed decorating the tree," he whispered.
"We missed you, but don't worry Kennedy said we should film it so you could watch it later."
Donovan smiled.
"I didn't get you presents," he said.
Carter couldn't help but laugh because they both knew it wasn't true. He had given them the only gift they wanted: him.
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MERRY CHRISTMAS!! 🎄
(For those of you who don't celebrate or it's not longer Christmas time, hi! 👋)
If you have thoughts of any interesting, exclamatory, giddy nature then go ahead and drop them off here! 🗯💬💭
Random question: have you ever watched videos of military people coming home to their families?
It's pretty much the cutest thing ever! This is what inspired this one shot, I was watching a some and a week or two later I wrote this! I hope you liked it!
🤔 I wonder what Donovan would look like with a beard?
I bet he still looked good! It is Donovan after all!
This is my Christmas present to you and if you are wondering what to gift me in return it's super easy! Just follow me on Twitter at _Joymoment_
Still trying to get an agent and the follows will help with that! ☺️
Either way I love you! Vote for happy times, comment on Donovan's beard, and follow me cause obviously I'll keep writing these one shots until forever! Maybe...