"You're quiet today." She covered his hand with her fragile fingers. "Usually you're full of stories after a day like yesterday."
Raine gave her a small smile. "I haven't got much to add to everything Sammy and Sasha already told you."
Rosa had come home a few days ago and would stay there for a few weeks until her next chemo would start. They'd made a schedule to decide who stayed with her, although Raine had practically moved in with her. He could deal better with her sickness than his father and little sister, and he knew it caused Rosa less stress.
"They didn't tell me why you keep checking your phone." Her lips curled into a weak smile and her eyes lit up a bit. "You met a nice girl?"
"Actually I did. You know that Son I was stuck in an elevator with? I saw him yesterday – and his roommate liked me. Sammy knew her too; she does those puppet shows in St. Thomas."
"That's great! And you're waiting for a text from her now?"
"Yeah... I didn't ask for her number."
He actually thought she would've texted him by now. He wondered how Juice felt and if he still believed that he wanted to turn him into a rat. His last words just refused to leave his mind. He hated how the day had ended. He hadn't seen him on the terrain again, and Sammy told him Skye had gone home quite early.
"And, does your date have a name?"
"Juice..." he answered a little distracted.
"Juice?"
He felt his cheeks flush. Did he really say Juice? "No I mean – her name's Skye," he said quickly. "Juice is her roommate."
She had always been an observant girl; this time was no exception. She raised her eyebrows questioningly. "Why don't you tell me something about Juice?"
"What? About Juice?" he responded confused.
"You're not smiling, Raine. It's not that girl who's occupying your thoughts."
It was hard to lie to someone who was so ill – besides, he had no reason to lie. It wasn't that much of a big deal anyway. She had been pushing for more serious conversations lately, as if she wanted to turn the ones she loved inside out, before she had to say her last goodbyes to them.
"I hung out with Juice for a couple hours yesterday," he explained. "I don't know what it is – we just get along very well. At least, that's what I was thinking – but suddenly he became all angry, snapping at me that I was trying to turn him into a rat." He shrugged his shoulders. "It bothers me. I thought that we... I dunno, that we were becoming friends. Skye told me he doesn't have a lot of friends which makes him paranoid. She said she would talk to him, but I haven't heard from her since."
"I'm sure she'll text you. Maybe Juice wasn't in the mood to talk yet."
He took in Rosa's face. Her cheekbones were sticking out, her lips weren't as full as they used to be. Her dark curls, she had lost a long time ago. In the beginning, it had been hard to get used to it, but by now it symbolized her persistence, her fight.
"He suggested to organize a fundraiser myself. To raise money for the families of terminally ill patients who live abroad. Like our family. So they could see each other one last time."
Her smile gave him a warm feeling, low in his stomach. "What a beautiful idea."
"Yeah," he said softly. He thought back to the moment Juice had shared his idea; sitting at the table, a hotdog in his hand. The look in his eyes had been so... compassionate it'd made him swallow. His brain had started to process ideas immediately – mainly, he had been looking for things Juice could participate in, too.
Whether these things would still happen, remained to be seen.
. . .
Later that night, he got a text from Skye. 'Hey handsome. You got something to do tomorrow night? X'
To his surprise, the smile he had expected didn't show up. Instead, there was a nagging feeling in his stomach because she didn't mention Juice. Did it mean the man was still angry? He didn't want to show her how much it bothered him, so he sent back: 'Not yet. Just tell me where and how late and I'll be there. ;)'
They decided to go to the movies first and grab a drink afterwards.
The date went differently than he anticipated. Although she had obviously flirted with him when they first met, something seemed to hold her back now. However, the genuine interest in her eyes when he told her something and the ever-present smile around her lips, gave her a natural charm.
They were late for the movie, so there wasn't much time left to talk. Frankly, there was only one question burning on his lips: had she talked to Juice? He was careful asking her, although he didn't know why. Something told him it was better to wait until the girl brought it up herself.
After retreating to a quiet corner of the bar, they ordered a drink and discussed the movie. When their drinks were served, Skye sat up a little straighter. With her elbows leaning on the table, she swirled the liquid inside her glass around.
"What kind of type are you, Raine?" she asked. "Are you looking for a serious relationship or are you more into flings?"
He shrugged his shoulders. "I'll just see what comes my way. I'm open to something serious, but to be honest – my life is already chaotic enough without a girlfriend," he said, giving her a small smile. "What about you?"
"Long relationships aren't exactly my strong suit," she admitted. "I think I quickly feel... trapped. I've had a few jealous boyfriends, and two girlfriends who were mainly interested in a threesome with my roomie," she said, laughing.
"And? Were they lucky?"
She chuckled and shook her head. "No, Juice didn't like 'em. Although I think he was trying to protect me, afraid that he would get more attention than I."
"Or he was afraid he couldn't handle two chicks," he smirked.
She laughed. "Oh believe me, he knows how to handle two girls. When we were still in a relationship, we did a threesome every now and then. Only with girls, by the way. Although doin' it with two guys is still on my bucket list," she said, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively up and down.
Her bold comment made him chuckle. "Is this an invitation? Does Juice know?"
She shrugged her shoulders. "Sometimes it's better to surprise Juice."
Smirking, he thought back to the panicking expression on the guy's face when Raine had asked him if he wanted to experiment, when they were stuck in the elevator. "Yeah – think you got a point there."
Skye shoved the straw of her cocktail between her lips, started to suck and looked up to him. "What about you? You're only into girls?"
"I guess," he said. "Never been in love with a guy. Although I kissed one when I was dead drunk." The memory made him chuckle. "It was during my patch-in party. They promised me the hottest girl in the club, but they got me drunk instead and I ended up with a guy in my room. Thank god we were too drunk to take off a single piece of clothing. It happened six years ago, but they still like to tease me with it."
He didn't care about it much. Everyone did stupid things when they were drunk.
"Sounds like you want to keep your options open," she winked.
"There's no harm in that, right?" He drank his beer. "Your last relationship... was it with Juice?"
She nodded. "Yeah, I've been single for a year now."
"Why did you two break up?" he asked curiously. Since they were still sharing a house, he assumed there hadn't been a heated fight. "Or was he one of those jealous boyfriends?"
"Juice and I know each other too well to be jealous of anything. I don't know... we are so close, we were both curious if there was more than friendship alone. But after a few months, we both agreed we didn't love each other like that. How long has it been since your last relationship?"
"Also around a year. I moved from Santo Padre to Oakland, she stayed behind... My sister was sick, I had too much on my mind to maintain a long distance relationship and she didn't really understand."
"Didn't understand what? That you needed to care for your sister?"
He shrugged his shoulders. "She had her own problems. She said I was picking my sister over her. Which I did – in some way." He let out a bitter laugh. "Not that I had much of a choice. There were some mental problems goin' on – and I'm not saying that's not rough – but my little sister had been diagnosed with metastatic cancer; she had a one year old kid and a father who couldn't handle it at all... It was never a choice for me. Guess it was for the best. I had enough on my plate, there was just no room for a girlfriend."
"But having someone by your side can be a huge support, too," Skye said.
"Yeah... if it's the right person." He paused for a moment as he thought about Elin. No – he didn't miss her. He hadn't thought about her in months. His thoughts wandered off to Juice, who had been so concerned with him since the first moment. Someone like him would be nice. Someone who wanted to help him, who came up with ideas to make things more bearable for his family.
"Did I hit a nerve?" she asked quietly, clearly seeing his thoughts wandering off.
He shook his head. "No, you didn't. I have some good friends who are a great support." He twisted the ring around his thumb. Then he asked the question that had been bothering him for two days. "Did you talk to Juice?"
A smile crossed her lips. Something told him she had waited until he brought it up himself.
"Yeah... I was right about him. His insecurities got the best of him, he suddenly couldn't think of a reason why you would want to be friends with him. Trying to turn him into a rat made the most sense, according to him."
He couldn't think of a reason why I would want to be friends with him... The demons inside his head were really strong and it didn't leave him indifferent. He was a great guy, he should be convinced that everyone would want to be his friend.
"He still believes that?"
She shook her head. "No. My pep talks guarantee an 'I'm on top of the world' feeling," she grinned. The seriousness returned to her eyes. "But he feels ashamed now. I gave him your number, but I don't think he dares to text you. So I can give you his number... or we could go to my place and have a drink there. I think he'll come around easily – the moment he realizes you're not mad at him."
Raine wasn't a big fan of postponing things, so he went with the second option. "Fine with me. Let's go to your house."
. . .
After a heavy work out session and a hot shower, Juice had dropped down on the couch and started a movie. It was hard to keep his thoughts on the movie – again and again they wandered off to Mouse and Raine. What would they talk about? About him? A nervous feeling caused his toes to curl. There weren't many cool things Raine could discover about him...
Juice wasn't sure whether that was really something bad, however.
Maybe it was better if he would never see the Mayan again. That way, his feelings would go away eventually. Then again, he might lose a good friend. It was better if he just hid his feelings, if he simply ignored them. They would go away, eventually.
The movie had finally soaked up his attention when the front door opened. Skye was home early... Why was that? Did the club need Raine, or had their date been a disaster? Mouse could be very... interrogating during a first date. He wouldn't be the first guy she scared away; not everyone was fond of deep conversations.
Pausing the movie, he got up. He was barely on his feet when he heard a man's voice, saying something about the Shelby Mustang GT 350, which was on the windowsill next to the door, which Juice had built a couple of years ago.
No way, had she really taken him home?! With wide eyes, he stared down at his legs. Luckily he was at least wearing sweatpants, since there had been many nights he had flopped down on the couch with only his boxers on. He however, wasn't wearing a shirt. Unfortunately, it was too late to sneak into his room as the two already entered the living room.
His eyes shot to Raine's. For a moment he couldn't breathe, he felt like he was on fire now that the guy was standing in his living room all of a sudden. "H-hi," he stammered. "I – I hadn't expected any visitors."
Raine lifted the corner of his mouth. "I heard we were going to do a threesome, so that's only half a striptease for you, lucky bastard."
Juice's jaw dropped down. "W-what?"
Skye and Raine exchanged a look, sniggering softly.
Juice felt a stab in his stomach. Were they making fun of him? Had Skye told the man that Juice was in love with him? Tears jumped in his eyes. He had never expected something like that from her, why the hell would she betray him like that?
"C'mon, welcome me with your usual hug, Juicy!" Skye said with a wink, crossing the room and throwing her arms around him. "He doesn't know," she whispered in his ear. "Don't worry. As it happens, we were talking about threesomes. He's joking."
"As it happens?" he huffed.
Her smirk gave away there had been nothing unexpected about it. "I'm going to change clothes!" After a subtle wink, she disappeared into her room.
Fuck you, he thought, feeling upset. Self-consciously, he turned towards Raine.
The Mayan spread his arms. "Am I not gettin' a hug?"
The smirk on his lips made him feel insecure; he had no idea if the guy was joking or not.
"Umm – if you like," he muttered. He felt his cheeks flush and cursed the heat he was feeling.
"An act of reconciliation, huh? Plus, I used to hug all my bro's."
It felt as if Juice's brain had been turned into soup. He tried to remember how he embraced his brothers; those hugs were always less intimate than the ones with Mouse, but suddenly he couldn't think at all anymore. Before he knew it, Raine was standing across from him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and briefly pulling him against his chest. Juice was still contemplating what he should do with his arms, when the moment was already over.
Despite his warm cheeks, Juice forced himself to look up. "Umm... how was your date?"
Raine's hands slipped into his pockets while he leaned against the counter top. "Yeah, we had fun. Movie was good, we grabbed a drink afterwards and then she suggested to have another one here."
Juice swallowed. Usually, taking someone home meant sex. Was Raine expecting sex from Skye now? Was Juice ruining his plans? "You like her?"
The question slipped his lips. Juice was close to screaming in frustration when his face turned even redder. Quickly he opened the fridge and grabbed two beers from it.
"Hmm, she's cool. I wouldn't mind to sleep with her, but I don't think there's gonna be more."
Juice nodded, handed Raine a beer and walked to the living room. He sat down on the couch. Somehow he expected Raine to sit down on the armchair which was closer to him than the couch, but he opted for the seat next to Juice.
Nervously, Juice looked aside. He had no idea what to say.
The Mayan seemed to feel relaxed, he took a swig of his beer and studied Juice's face for a while. "You think this is going somewhere? You and me?"
Juice's eyes widened; they almost popped out of their sockets. Was he messing with him? Or was he in love too? "I... I..." he stammered. "You mean... romantically?"
This time, it was Raine's face which expressed pure surprise. "Uh... Well, I was more thinking about friendship."
Of course he is, you idiot! Juice wanted the floor to swallow him whole. "How was I supposed to know," he grunted in some half-hearted attempt to restore his honor. "You also mentioned a threesome the moment you came in. My question wasn't that weird."
As he looked up again, a grin crossed Raine's lips. "Well, we'll see where it leads us to." He wiggled his eyebrows.
Fuck – was Raine seriously flirting with him? He was terrified that drops of sweat would soon start to roll down his upper body. And where the hell was Skye? He was close to having a heart attack... Not knowing what to do or say, made the panic flare up again.
Thank god, Raine started to talk again. His voice was more serious now. "You're still afraid I want to turn you into a rat?"
"No," he answered quietly.
"Then what's wrong? You don't seem to feel very comfortable... Do you still feel ashamed of what happened two days ago? Skye explained it to me... I'm not mad. I just hope that you're open to a friendship now, even though I'm part of a different club."
Juice looked up again. His words filled him with warmth – not an oppressive heat this time, but a pleasant warmth. Raine's brown eyes looked calmly at him. He felt his heart flutter. "Umm... yeah, I would really like to be friends with you." Shyly, he shrugged his shoulders. "Although I do wonder... how..."
"Yeah..." Raine took a drink from his beer. "I was thinking... I can tell my brothers that I'm dating Skye. You can tell 'em the same. If someone sees us together one day, it won't be that weird. I guess they won't like it, but I'm sure they prefer it over the fact that I really like to hang out with you."
Juice nodded. His heart was making flip flops because of his last words. He swallowed as he looked up. "I really like to hang out with you, too."
Suddenly, there were little jolts that felt like static energy everywhere across his arms and fingers. His answer had been soft, expressing the yearning he felt. It however felt like he hadn't really heard it, as he suddenly got trapped into those beautiful brown eyes. The only thing still on his mind was this desperate longing to kiss him.
"Yeah?" Raine's voice also sounded different, a little tense. He thought he not only heard his own breathing falter, but also that of his new friend. The blood rushed to his crotch, he was getting hard again. This time however, he didn't panic – as long as Raine stared back into his eyes, he wouldn't notice.
Raine's glance crept a bit down. Was he looking at his lips? Did he also feel this unstoppable longing? Juice didn't know if it was a conscious move, but he leaned a little more towards the Mayan. Raine's eyes shot back to his.
Nervousness was churning inside his body. He didn't think he could resist those lips much longer. Suddenly there were twinkles dancing in Raine's eyes.
"You look like you're about to kiss me." His voice didn't sound mocking, but there definitely was a teasing tone in it.
Juice had the feeling there were flames coming out of his head. With bright red cheeks, he turned his face away. Right at that moment, the door behind them opened. Too late Mouse, he thought, feeling frustrated. Your rescue is too late.
He took a large gulp from his beer – as if he needed to cool down his lips. He didn't dare to look up anymore and stared at his legs, wishing Raine would go home. He was making a fool of himself. He was sure Raine didn't want to be friends anymore; he probably believed Juice wanted other things from him. Tears were stinging in his eyes.
"You got another beer for me?" Raine asked. From the corner of his eyes, Juice saw that he was lifting his empty bottle while looking at Skye.
Nope, he isn't going to leave anytime soon.
Juice stared at his own bottle. It was shaking in his hands. Quickly, he took a swig while he watched his roommate walk to the kitchen, still not daring to look aside.
Suddenly, he felt Raine's arm brush his own arm. His skin was tingling, his breathing got heavier. The man leaned into him and whispered: "Relax. I never said that I would mind."
His words were so unexpected; Juice choked on his beer and started to cough.