Tessa slept soundly on her bed. Her eyes moved under her eye lids as she dreamed. She couldn't help but dream of Luke. Her dreams dark, almost nightmares usually. Yet this one wasn't quite like that. She dreamed of the artificial happiness that was once and every day thing, she hadn't had it for a few days now.
Niall walked down the stairs, in hopes of getting her to go swimming with the boys. He stopped at the bottom of the stairs, watching Tessa sleep.
She was cute in her sleeping state. Her hair was sprawled out on her pillow. Her eyes softly closed as slight snores came from her slightly parted lips.
Niall walked closer, sitting on the bed next to her. He was going to wake her up but something stopped him. She looked to peaceful. Niall leaned back on the bed, putting his hands behind his head as he watched her sleep. He felt stalker-ish but he knew just about anyone would watch her sleep. No one could not, waking her up would be like murdering a kitten.
Niall stiffened as Tessa moved closer in her sleep. She snuggled her head into his side and moved her leg over his left leg. Niall bite back a smile as he watched her move in her sleep.
In her sleepy state she thought he was Luke. Her hand traveled to the hem of his shirt and slowly moved under it. Niall stayed still, watching in amusement. Tessa's hand stayed under his shirt while she fell deeper in her sleep.
He stared down at her hand, feeling weird. He didn't want her to move away. Yet he felt weird, like he was somehow taking advantage of her in her sleep. Niall reluctantly removed her hand from his shirt and her leg from his, feeling guilting for getting turned on.
"Tessa." He whispered. "Tessa wake up." She stirred, wrapping her arm around him again. "Tessa wake up. It's ten in the morning." Niall tried again. His hand went to her hair, combing the black and red locks between his fingers. Tessa shot up, frightened. The feeling of someone touching her hair was alarming her. Never did anyone touch her hair before, not even Luke.
"Morning." Niall smirked. Tessa moved, sitting up and staring at Niall.
"Hey." She says, tiredly.
"Swimming?" Niall asked. Tessa shook her head, not wanting to swim.
Truth was, she did want to swim with them. But she couldn't get her 'hair' wet. And she wasn't about to take it off.
"Please?" Niall pouted. Tessa smiled sleepily at his adorableness, but she just shook her head again. "Your a major gamer." Niall randomly changes the topic, looking over to the tv that Tessa forgot to turn off last night.
"Yeah, it was something I used to do with my dad." She said, sighing. She didn't understand why, but she suddenly got the urge to talk to him about her parents. Niall's head turned to her at the mention of her dad. She did under stand how she had managed to mention not only her mother but also her dad to these boys. It was something she never did. Yet it was so easy to talk to these boys.
"Sounds like a cool dude." Niall offered her a small smile. He fought the urge to ask about him.
"He was." Tessa smiled down at her lap. "He uh... Died when I was 11."
Niall's smile disappeared as he stared at the girl in front of him. He felt like hugging her. He felt like he should comfort her somehow.
"He was in a car accident... And um..." A tear fell from her eye and she immediately wiped it away, disappointed that she had let it escape. Niall sat, silently. He didn't know what to do but seeing her cry made him want to hug her more. "He died instantly." She choked, not looking up to Niall. "Some drunk driver..."
Niall couldn't hold back anymore. He grabbed her, hugging her tightly as she silently cried into his chest. "I'm so sorry." He soothed. Her cries weren't heard, just the moister falling from her eyes.
Tessa scrunched the fabric of his shirt on his shoulders. She tried not to sob. She tried to stop the water works. She hated that she was drenching his white shirt.
He hugged her tighter. Niall felt like a jerk for noticing how perfect she smelt at this moment. Instead of feeling for her completely his mind was getting Hugh off her scent. Yet, he did feel for her.
They sat there in silence. They didn't know how long it was until they pulled apart. When they did, Tessa whipped her eyes, unable to look him in his eyes. She was embarrassed that she cried in front of him. She was slightly mad at herself, telling herself she was weak.
"Hey," Niall said. "It's okay to cry, even my dad does sometimes."
Tessa started laughing through the tears. "Oh my god." She said, thinking of a British ginger. "I love Ed sheeran."
Niall grinned, he somehow knew she would recognize that song. After all, he was a fan of the lad too.
"Lets get something to eat." Niall said, standing to his feet. Tessa nodded and they both walked up stairs.
The kitchen was empty of any humans. Either way Tessa was happy. It's been awhile since she ever cooked, she used to love to cook. Lauren did all the cooking for her when she was home. She would take a plate down to her, trying to talk to her. Lauren never gave up.
"What are you doing?" Niall asked as Tessa opened the fridge.
She smiled as she pulled out cream cheese. "Be prepared for your mind to be blown." She grinned as she opened a cabinet and pulled out a jar of salsa. She opened the cream cheese then put it in the microwave.
Niall watched in amusement as she took the bowl of cream cheese out of the microwave. He continued to watch as she poured the salsa into the bowl of cream cheese and stirred it with a fork.
Tessa grabbed the bag of tortilla chips, opening them. She pulled one out, dipping it in the dip she just made then handed it to Niall. She blink, mouth parting slightly as Niall leaned in and she placed the chip in his mouth. She hadn't expected him to do that. Even more so, she hadn't expected that strange feeling to reoccur. She swallowed, her eyes leaving his as she pulled her hand back.
Then, just like the times before, the moment was over.
Niall stopped chewing. His eyes widened. He watched as the girl before him started laughing uncontrollably at his reaction to what he just tasted. He swallowed then started chuckling with her.
"What was that?" He asked, amazed.
"Family recipe dip." She giggled. "You like it?"
"Like it... That stuff is sensational!" Tessa laughed as he grabbed another chip, dipping it then shoving it in his mouth. "The guys need to try this stuff." He said with his mouth full.
"I need to change, don't eat all of it!" She laughed as she ran back to the basement.
Tessa slipped on her usual black skinny jeans then grabbed a gray shirt that said 'Navy' on the front. She had gotten it from an old Navy in America once.
Niall came down the stairs once Tessa was about to strip her shirt off.
"Why don't you like to swim?" He asked. He stopped walking, watching as Tessa turned around and stripped her shirt off. The back of her black lace bra was clearly visible to him. She then pulled the new one over her head. When she turned around she looked at Niall, throwing the dirty one in a pile.
"I just don't like swimming." She stated, walking to the bathroom.
"Oh." Niall's cheeks held a slight blush. He stood there shocked for a minute then walked to the opened bathroom door. He watched as she whipped all the old makeup off her face. He grabbed her arm once she picked up her eyeliner pen. "You don't need it. Your perfect."
Tessa froze as his hand stayed on her forearm. She looked back to the mirror, seeing her mothers face. Her teeth gritted together, she was already vulnerable from the conversation earlier. He just didn't understand. No one did.
"I need it." She Said, not looking back to him. She applied the eyeliner after he removed his hand from her arm.
Niall watched as she made that weird face that all girls make while applying makeup. He sighed, wishing she just knew that she was beautiful. She didn't need makeup.
"Why do you need it?" He asked. Tessa started combing through her black hair. She didn't look at him in the mirror, she kept her eyes on her hair.
"Because I do." She said. Her bottom lip went between her teeth, like it always does when she's uncomfortable or just bored. Sometimes on random.
"No you don't. Your beautiful." Niall insisted.
Tessa closed her eyes, placing the brush back on the sink. She hated that her stomach flips every time he says that. She hated that she loved it when he touched her. She hated that she was getting too close to him. She hated that she was getting to close to all the boys. They were going to be ripped away from her just like her parents were, and she knew it.
"Don't." She said with her eyes still closed. "I told you to not call me that."
Niall shook his head, he was getting no where. He didn't understand why she hated herself. Why she wouldn't just believe it. If he ever told any other girl that they were beautiful they would just believe it. He grabbed her shoulders, turning her around so she had to look at him.
Tessa closed her eyes as her stomach did that flip again. She opened her eyes, looking into Nialls. She saw pure, innocent blue eyes, they melted her completely. He was too caring, she saw that. Yet, so were her parents and they were ripped away from her. Anything could happen if she let him in. She wasn't ready for that.
"Why can't I call you beautiful?" He asked sternly. "I'm not lying. You are beautiful." He locked eyes with her as he said it.
"Niall." Her face hardened as she thought of what to say. She had to keep her distance from him. She had to get him to stay away from her before she got attached to him. She didn't understand why she didn't feel like this with any of the other boys. "Don't. Ever. Call. Me. That. Again." Her words were slow, hard and aggressive. She wanted him to just stop.
Niall didn't know what to say. He shook his head. He just wanted her to believe it. Why wouldn't she? Could she not see it?
"Why did you dye your hair?" He changed the topic.
"You wouldn't understand." She whispers, trying to keep her face stern. She was becoming a mess again again. Tears stinging her eyes.
"Try me." He says, getting angry.
"No." She says, hardly above a whisper.
"Tell me now!" He yells. Tessa closes her eyes, unable to look at him as tears fall from her eyes.
"I can't!" She chokes. Niall lets go of her shoulders, dropping his gaze to the floor. He couldn't watch as she cried, he hated when people cried. Yet, this girl had an entirely worse affect on him.
"What kind of girl dyes there hair black and red?" He asked. More tears fall down her face.
She knew he thought she was a freak. She knew she wasn't beautiful. He was just trying to be nice. So she told herself.
"You have to have a reason." He says, running his hand through his hair. He knew he was getting now where, so he went for something that seemed some what cliche. It wasn't something he would normally do in this situation, but he wasn't normally in this situation. "Turn around."
Tessa whipped under her eyes, causing the tears and black eyeliner to come off on her fingers. She took in a shaking breath, turning around. For what ever reason, she listened to him.
"Look in the mirror." Niall instructed, moving next to her as he too look I'm the mirror. "What do you see?"
Tessa chuckled, whipping at her eyes more. "This is stupid." She shook her head.
"Just do it." Niall growled, causing Tessa to chuckle again. She did it. But she didn't answer the question. Niall sighed.
"Messed up orphan girl with allot of make up." She finally answered. Her voice was a little rough, she still thought this exercise was stupid. Maybe it was, but Niall was determined.
"You're not messed up, and your not an orphan. Too much Make up, yes." Niall grinned at her through the mirror.
"Dude, if this is your way of flirting your messed up." Tessa crosses her arms, rolling her eyes. She watches his eyebrows raise for a slight moment, surprise and embarrassment evident for a moment. "Just to be clear, just because I said you were the best looking guy in your band doesn't mean I like you. I think allot of guys are hot, I even kiss allot of guys. It means absolutely nothing." Tessa wasn't sure why she felt like she had to explain all this.
Niall was silent for a moment, confusion and disappointment blending into embarrassment. All causing his face to have a pinkish glow. "Okay, thanks for the heads up." He smiles, as though her comments didn't affect him in the least. "Back to the topic at hand." He turns back to the mirror.
"I already told you what I saw." She says, getting annoyed. Her emotions were confusing even herself.
"Deeper." Niall says. "Beneath the makeup. Beneath this act you out on." His words caught Tessa off guard, her face surprised for a moment. She composes herself.
"What are you talking about?" She glares at him through the mirror.
Niall sighs, knowing he messed up. He may have just completely ruined what ever he had going. "Why'd you dye your hair?"
"Because I wanted to piss off my uncle." It wasn't the first time she used that lie. That's what she had told Luke long ago, when she had first gotten the wig. It was far from true, she didn't like pissing off her uncle. In fact she hated it, she hated the disappointment in his eyes every time she did something wrong. She just wanted her badass act to be more believable. Yet Niall had seen straight though it, causing her to feel as though she was naked. Although for Tessa, being naked wasn't all that bad anymore.
"Tell me the real reason." Niall said after a while, ticking Tessa off even more. She wasn't in the mood for this.
"You wanna know why?" She asked, now angry again. She knew the boys weren't really her friends. She knew they didn't care about her. She should have never let them in. She should have blocked them out like she always does.
Tessa angrily turned on the sink, whipping all the makeup off her eyes. The sink water turned black as she washed the makeup off. She dried her face with a toil then ran out of the bathroom. She couldn't believe she was actually doing this but she was too angry at him to care at the moment. She searched under her bed for the box.
Niall watched as she pulled a small metal box out from under her bed. She sat on her bed, with the box on her lap then opened it to revealed allot of small things. Things that she most likely collected over the years. She pulled out a small piece of paper. Niall watched as the small frail looking girl in front of him looked at the paper. He couldn't see what it was but he knew it was something that meant something to her. More tears ran down her face as she stared at it.
Tessa gave the paper to Niall. He grabbed it, turning it around to see an older woman. He knew it was probably her mother. Their faces were very similar. He looked at the picture then back to Tessa. Their faces were more then similar. It was like they were one. The picture was of her mother on her twentieth birthday. She was Tessa's age.
"So?" He asked. "You wear all that makeup because you look like your mother." He thought out loud.
Niall's eyes slightly widened as Tessa pulled her wig off. Her brown curly hair laid effortlessly down her shoulders, parting in the middle of her head.
Tessa looked up to see Niall staring at her hair. He didn't take his eyes off her. His mouth fell agape for a moment. She felt slightly bashfully under his stare.
Niall stared at the beautiful girl in front of him. He couldn't look away. He knew she was beautiful... But not this beautiful. He didn't think it was possible to be this beautiful. Heck he hardly used the word. Yet he managed to use the word more then a few times in the the same thought process.
He looked down to the photo in his hand. The same long brown curly hair laid the same way on the woman in the photo. Hell, Niall thought to himself, that's why she wore a wig all this time. It wasn't to make her uncle mad, it was so she didn't see her mother every time she looked in the mirror.
He looked back up to her. She hasn't moved since she removed the wig. She stared at him, watching him as he processed all this. He watched, wanting to slap him self repeatedly, as tears dropped from her eyes.
"Your beautiful." He couldn't stop himself from saying it. He watched as her face dropped, her bottom lip quivering as she bit the inside of it.
"Please leave." She whispered. "You need to go."
Niall's face fell even more. He looked at her, she didn't move her eyes from his. She pointed to the stairs.
"Please." Her voice quivered. Niall dropped the picture on her bed. He silently left the room, knowing that the girl wanted to be by herself
Tessa flopped on her bed after She heard the basement door shut. Why did she do that? Why did she tell him all that? She placed her hand on her forehead, her tattoo in her vision now. She closed her eyes.
Three days. Just three days and she already told him her life story. It took her weeks to tell Luke. She met Luke in 9th grade. It took her until the end of the year to tell him. Even then she never told him why she wore all that makeup. And even now, he doesn't know it's a wig.
She was getting too close to this boy. She knew it. She tried to push him away but somehow he had managed to just get even closer, learning even more about her. He know knew more about her then anyone. She couldn't let this happen. She couldn't let him into her life. She had to stay away from him.
Tessa got up, whipping her eyes. She knew from experience that laying there all day wouldn't make her mind shut off. She had to do something. She went to the bathroom, replacing her wig on her head. Once she was sure you couldn't see any of the brown hair she started her makeup for the second time today. This time she applied it even more heavily. Once she was done she added some mascara.
After putting her black boots on she headed upstairs, she needed to find Niall. She had to make sure he wouldn't tell anyone anything that she had told him this morning.
As she stepped onto the back patio the cold air hit her moist face. Her face was dried of all tears yet the ghosts of them still remained. She wrapped her arms around herself. It was pretty cold for October.
She spotted the boys at the pool. She stared at her boots as she walked over to them. Her hands held on to her forearms, trying not to shiver.
She spotted Niall sitting on a pool chair. He didn't look up as she sat down on the one next to him. The other boys were shirtless, in the heated pool before her.
She watched as they all swam, splashing each other like little kids then dunking each other. Once in a while they would climb out, shivering uncontrollably until they jumped back into the heated water.
"Tessa!" Zayn called. "Come on!" He tried to splash her but her chair was too far back for the water to reach.
"No, I'm good." She tried to smile. After she declined his begging quite a few times, he swam away.
"Tessa come on!" Louis said. It was like they were taking turns trying to get her to come in. Tessa shook her head, getting slightly uneasy. "Why? You on your period?"
Tessa's face broke into a smile as she blushed crimson. That boy would ask just about anything. "Maybe. Are you?" She yelled back.
"Well ya never know." Louis says, not making any sense.
"How does your girlfriend put up with you?" She says more to herself as Louis laughs and swims back to the others.
"She's just like him." Niall says, still starring at his phone. He hasn't looked at her since she sat down.
"Huh?" Tessa asks, looking over to the fully clothed boy beside her.
"They're exactly alike. Him and Eleanor are like the perfect couple." Niall said, finally looking over to her.
Now that he's seen her real hair and makeupless face it's kind of strange to see her wearing the wig. It didn't suit her at all. And as for the makeup, he wanted to take a toil and wipe it all off himself. Then he wanted to take all of her eyeliner and burry it deep into the earth. He wished he had taken a picture of her without her... Disguise.
"Your not going to tell anyone... Are you?" Tessa asks. The way his eyes ranked her face and hair, she knew what was going throughs his mind. She couldn't let him tell anyone. She would be humiliated.
"Tell anyone what?" Louis suddenly showed up at the edge of the pool.
"Um..." Tessa froze.
"That she gave me a blow job." Niall says nonchalantly.
Tessa's eyes widen, looking to Niall then to Louis. Her mouth hung open as she looked to the smirking Niall.
"You liar!" She swatted his arm as hard she could, laughing.
"So that's what took you two so long." Louis says as if just realizing. Niall laughs uncontrollably as she continues to wrack his arm.
"No! I didn't... I didn't do anything!" Tessa defends. Her face feeling wormer then ever. She sat back down, then wracked his arm one last time.
"Ow! That's going to bruise!" Niall complained.
"What's going on over here?" Liam swam over next to Louis, followed by Harry and Zayn.
"What's with the slapping?" Zayn asks.
"Nothing." Tessa says, now becoming quiet now that all the boys were watching her.
"Tessa gave Niall a-"
"NO I DIDN'T!" Tessa yells before he could finish.
"Yes she did." Niall continues to tease her.
"What?" Harry asks.
Tessa hides her face in her knees and wraps her arms around her legs, bringing them up on the chair. She groaned as Louis told them the story. It wasn't that she was 'embarrassed' at the thought of giving Niall a blow job, or even that he had told his friends. It was the fact that she knew they would make a big deal out of nothing, literally nothing. Because it wasn't true.
"I did not! He's lying!" Tessa tries to say angrily but ends up laughing in embarrassment.
Louis and the boys all start laughing. Tessa looks up to them.
"Tessa Nialls not like that. He's never even touched a girl before." Louis laughs.
"Why must you tell everyone we know that?" Niall pouts.
"Your a vergin?" Tessa asks in shock. Niall closes his eyes as his cheeks glow.
"Not for long." Zayn says. Tessa looks over to Zayn but doesn't ask what he means. She'd rather not be even more embarrassed at the moment.
"Can't you guys just go back to swimming?" Niall asks with a bored expression.
"Fine, fine." Louis swims off, followed by three other laughing boys.
Niall and Tessa sat, watching the boys play in the water. The tension between them becoming unbearable. An awkward silence fell between them.
"Well that didn't make anything awkward at all." Tessa said, still staring at the boys.
"Nope." Niall said, him too watching the guys. "At least I kept your secret."
Tessa grinned, he went through all that just so they didn't find out. "Thanks Niall." She suddenly got the urge to lean over and kiss his cheek again. But due to the space their chairs leave between them, it would only leave them in a more awkward spot. She didn't understand why she even wanted to kiss him. She shouldn't. Yet she thinks of how yesterday she was dared to kiss him, what if she actually did? Then she started thinking of how smooth his check was, like he just shaved. And he smelled... So so good. She wanted to smell that scent again.
She snap out of her thoughts. She couldn't do this. She had to stop thinking like this. She couldn't just start to crave a guys scent, stalker much? She couldn't just start thinking about kissing him. Did she even want to?
Usually if Tessa met a guy at a frat party that she thought was cute, she'd kiss him. She wouldn't care what anyone else thought, not even Luke. He was most likely off with some girl anyway. And the guy she kisses was usually drunk, so none of it mattered. But somehow she knew if she kissed Niall... There was no going back.
She watched as Niall stood from his chair. All she saw was his back as he stripped off his shirt. Tessa bite her lip, looking else where.
Niall turned around to Tessa, she was obviously trying not to look at him. He through his shirt at her, hitting her in the face. She pulled it off, glaring at Niall. He laughed to himself.
"Well I'm going swimming." He grinned as he turned. He took off running then jumped into the heated pool in his pants.
Tessa looked down to the shirt in her hands. Niall's scent still filling her nose. God, it smelt heavenly. Before her thoughts could go anywhere else she through the warm shirt onto his chair.
Niall resurfaced, running his hands over his face and immediately looking at Tessa. He watched as she throws his shirt onto his chair. She must really not like him, most girls would cling onto his shirt for dear life. He thought to himself. He swam over to his mates and tried to think about other things.