Chapter 27
The past few days had been rough. I hadn’t been sleeping well. I lacked the motivation to get any of my school work done. I couldn’t remember the last time I ate a full meal. To sum everything up, I was a mess.
I knew that it wouldn’t be healthy to continue lounging around the house like this, feeling hurt, angry, and confused. I knew that I had to stop worrying and stressing myself out, but I just couldn’t stop myself from thinking about Ashton and what he had said to me. I was in desperate need of a distraction to nudge me back into a normal lifestyle.
It was only 5:30pm and I was already laying in my bed with a quilt pulled up to my chin. So many emotions had run through my body in the past week or so, that I was unable to feel them anymore. My whole body felt numb except for a dull ache in my chest, right where it had been ripped open after my unpleasant conversation with Ashton. The gloomy weather outside allowed only minimal amounts of light to shine in through the windows of my room. The lamp on my bedside table helped to cast a soft glow throughout the space.
Despite it being dinner time, I didn’t feel like eating. I didn’t want to sit at the table with my family and deal with them continuously stealing glances at me to make sure I was alright. I knew they were all being affected by this situation too, but I didn’t want to see the changes it caused in their moods and actions. I would much rather just wait until they all went to bed, or something, and eat by myself.
James hadn’t been too happy when he found out about my visitor. I was so afraid that he would start yelling at me again because of it. To my delight, he hadn’t. He just sat in silence as various emotions flashed across his face and his muscles tensed. At first I had been scared of what he might do after hearing the news. I didn’t want to deal with Ashton showing up here again because of my brother. At this point, I no longer cared if he went hunting him down. As long as I didn’t have to deal with anymore surprise visits, it didn’t matter to me. I just wanted all of this to disappear.
Unexpectedly, my bedroom door creaked open, pulling me away from my thoughts and back to reality. I felt my stomach sink at the sound. I didn’t want to deal with another round of my mother’s how-are-you-holding-up talks. I just wanted to be able to think about something else for once and not about Ashton. After a moment’s hesitation, I slowly turned my head to see who had come to check on me. To my surprise, I ended up locking eyes with Alex. He stood just outside my door with one hand on the door handle, peaking in at me. I watched as he gave a small, sympathetic smile.
I wanted to return the gesture but I didn’t have it in me. All I could do was watch as he approached and sat down next to me on the bed, leaning up against the headboard. I instantly felt some of the tension that had built up inside me disappear. And even though I was still too numb to show it, I was extremely happy to see him.
I shifted my current position in order to be closer to Alex, desperate for the comfort that I was so used to receiving from him. I pulled myself up, dragging the blanket along with me, and leaned my head against his torso. I closed my eyes, allowing myself to enjoy the small trickle of relief that I could sense flowing into my body. My chest still ached but, it seemed more bearable.
Alex said nothing as he wrapped a reassuring arm around me. It was obvious that he had been informed about my current condition. Although this definitely wasn’t the worst state he’d seen me in, it felt so relieving to have him near me. Just talking to him over the phone about my problems hadn’t been quite the same.
We continued to sit there, just like that. It wasn’t necessary for us to speak to know what the other wanted to say. Alex didn’t want to repeat the same things that I had already heard so many times since all of this began. He didn’t tell me about how everything was going to be okay because we both knew that nothing would be exactly the same after this. I wouldn’t have believed him even if he tried. He was just here for support, trying the best he could to let me know I could count on him to add some normality back into my life.
After about twenty minutes, he finally spoke up. “I ended up watching a bunch of Disney movies the other day.”
My eyebrows instantly furrowed together in confusion. That was far from what I expected to hear. I looked up at him, wondering where this could possibly be going. He stared back at me with a small smile plastered on his lips, and that’s when I knew this was most likely another one of his random and off topic conversations.
“They hosted a movie night at college and that’s what everyone wanted to watch. I guess they thought it would help get rid of all their school- related stress, or something,” He shrugged. His face held an amused expression as he broke eye contact with me and glanced around my room. “I almost forgot how good of a movie Pocahontas was… And she does so many adventurous things! I mean, in what other Disney movie does anyone jump off cliffs for fun?”
I felt myself starting to actually pay attention to what Alex was saying, watching his face intently as he spoke. For some reason, he had manage to grab my attention.
“It’s hard enough to try and canoe by yourself. And with all her animal friends running around, it couldn’t have been easy to balance the canoe. But then, somehow she manages to catapult it off a waterfall and land perfectly right side up? It just doesn’t make sense to me…” He let out a laugh before looking back down at me. When he noticed I was listening to him, a wave of, what seemed to be, relief flashed across his face. “And what’s the deal with Grandmother Willow?”
For a moment, I almost forgot I was I hurt. As Alex continued to rant on about everything he didn’t understand in the movie, I found his thoughts to be amusing. I, myself, had never considered these things and I didn’t think many other people had either.
“Is she actually Pocahontas’s grandma? Is she really just a tree and Pocahontas is just imagining this all in her own head? Is she really talking to the tree’s spirit? Indians believed in all that stuff didn’t they?” He began looking around again as he spoke, seeming to actually be worried about the answers to all of these ridiculous questions.
I licked my lips before finally speaking up, looking down at my blankets to avoid Alex’s gaze. My head was still rested on him. “Maybe there’s actually an old women in the tree.” My voice sounded slightly raspy to my own ears.
I could almost hear Alex grinning because of my response. He was getting me involved in the conversation, which meant that his master plan of distracting me from my own mind was working. “Maybe there is… But, why? Who put her there? That’s what the second movies should’ve been about, not Pocahontas’s English adventures.”
My lips twitched, threatening to smile at the response. I had actually watched Pocahontas 2 with Alex before. At the time his commentary had been debatably more entertaining than the movie itself. “What if…” I paused trying to get some creativity flowing back into my brain again. “What if long before the willow tree was grown, the old women was buried in the ground there. Then when the tree grew, she was able to…possess it and communicate with the tribe?” I cautiously looked back up at Alex, still waiting for some kind of reference to my current state. He was watching me with a somewhat hopeful expression.
“That could be…” His eyebrows scrunched together as he considered the idea. “I think you should be in charge of writing the outline for a third movie.”
And with that I ended up cracking a bit of a smile, rolling my eyes at the thought. “I highly doubt I’ll be working for Disney anytime soon.”
It suddenly felt like we were no longer part of the outside world, like we were far away from everyone and everything. As the conversation continued, all of my worries slowly faded away into nothing.
After a moment of silence, I decided to change the topic. “So… how’s your dad been doing?”
Alex drew his eyebrows together as he answered. “He’s been doing alright. It’s been quite a while since he was released from the hospital and he hasn’t been back there for emergency reasons.” He shrugged, meeting my eyes again. “Some occasional check-ups but, everything seems to be back to normal. Mom’s still been making him take it easy though.”
“That’s good.” I nodded. “I haven’t talked to them in a while so, I was just wondering.” I paused for a second recalling that night when I had done my best to support Alex in his time of need. I suddenly remembered the conversation we had that night about how Alex felt about me. I bit my lip before speaking up again, suddenly feeling a little uncomfortable. “And… how have you been doing?” I asked, suddenly extremely aware of the fact that I was leaning myself against him.
“Well… my classes haven’t been as awful as I expected them to be. I also mastered the art of washing laundry so that’s good,” It was hard for me to tell if Alex had just misunderstood what I had been asking him about, or if he was purposely ignoring it.
“Um yeah,” I hesitated. “But how… Are you still, uh…”
Alex sighed, finally understanding the point of my question. He brought a hand up to rub his face. “Maddie, I fine, really. Don’t worry about me, okay?”
I nodded again, somewhat relieved that he didn’t want to bring anything up about the way he felt.
“Hey, when’s the last time you’ve eaten something?” And Alex continued to avoid the topics he knew I didn’t really want to talk about.
“Oh, um, I don’t know… maybe sometime yesterda-?”
“Well, why don’t we go get something to eat then?” He cut me off, giving an encouraging smile. “When I was walking through the kitchen earlier, the soup your mom made smelled really good.”
It was kind of nice to know that he cared so much about what I was doing with myself during this time. I began to realize that maybe this was because he knew I wouldn’t listen to anyone else. I didn’t want to talk to my mom or brothers because I knew they’d end up talking about things that I didn’t want to hear. They’d end up getting frustrated with me when I refused to listen to their suggestions. With Alex, it was different. He was able to distract me with his random conversations. He wanted to make it seem like everything was normal and I was extremely grateful for that. That was the one thing I really loved about him. Ever since he first avoided the topic of me admitting my pregnancy to him years ago, I knew that something about him was…different than everyone else. He cared more about individuals and less about what was being said about them.
“I guess that would be a good idea…” Hesitantly, I agreed to eat something. I knew he was right. As much as I wanted to sleep everything away, I didn’t want to end up creating even more problems for myself.
…
Alex’s POV
I watched Maddie as she pulled herself out of bed, taking her time to unravel the web of blankets she had spun herself in. Once she was free, she seemed almost surprised to find out she was still wearing pajama pants and a baggy T-shirt. The days must’ve been starting to blend together in her mind. I forced down the sudden wave of sympathy I felt for her, and put on an encouraging smile. She had always hated it when other felt bad for her.
She climbed off the bed and made her way over to where I was standing, in the middle of her bedroom. When she reached me, I placed a hand on her back and started to guide her out of the room. I could tell she had been trying to avoid her family and I wanted to show her that she didn’t need to worry about that.
“Your mom was dying to feed me when I first got here,” I laughed, remembering how I had been attacked as I walked in the door of the Maslow house. “I’m sure she’ll be happy to finally get the chance.”
“She probably just made way too much food again,” Maddie said rather quietly as we walked down the hall. She seemed slightly distracted. “She’s been doing that a lot ever since James got here. Our fridge is practically overflowing with leftovers.”
I dropped my hand from her as we entered the kitchen. Maddie’s mother was washing dishes. And by the noise coming from the living room, I assumed that her brothers had moved there with Devon after they finished their dinner.
I wandered over to the stove and grabbed a couple extra bowls off of the counter. I handed one to Maddie so she could serve herself from the soup pot that was still steaming on the stove top. She cut in front of me in order to get to it. I knew she must’ve been a lot hungrier than she was feeling. I was just glad that I had been able to coax her out of her room.
Her mom must have been pretty grateful too because while Maddie was distracted by serving up her dinner, Mrs. Maslow paused her dish washing to look over at me. She gave a warm smile, a small amount of worry still present in her eyes, and mouthed the words ‘thank you’. I just nodded, smiling back.
After Maddie and I had both gotten our food, we sat down at the table. I took the seat right next to her and tried to think of another conversation starter.
As I thought, I snuck a few glances at her. I was trying to figure out just how much she was getting affected by this whole Ashton situation. She looked a little more pale and tired than usual, thanks to the somewhat sleepless nights he had caused her. But, according to her family, she had slowly been getting better. When I first arrived here, they had described how she seemed to not be freaking out as much as she had a few days ago. I just assumed it was because Ashton hadn’t made anymore attempts to talk to her. He was giving her time to think. I was beyond grateful for that. It was upsetting to me to know that he had no idea what he was doing to her. I hated him for being able to cut her so deeply. I hated that I couldn’t take all of her pain away.
It didn’t seem that this situation was affecting Maddie as much as everything had in previous years. She seemed to have a better grip on herself this time around. I knew it was still hard on her but, I didn’t think it was at quite the same level as before. In the past she simultaneously tried to deal with breakup issues, abandonment issues, pregnancy issues, and wondering-what-would-become-of-her-life issues. Right now, she only had to handle ex-boyfriend issues. I was confident that she would muster up enough strength to get through this.
I dunked the end of my spoon in my soup before starting up a new conversation. “So… what’s your favorite class been this semester?” I blew on the soup for a second before slurping it down. It tasted pretty delicious.
Maddie was quiet for a second, probably because I had caught her off guard again. “Umm,” She allowed herself some time to think. “I guess, Geography…”
I nodded at her response. “I haven’t taken that yet.”
“It’s not so bad,” She ate her soup quietly, keeping her eyes down. “It’s actually kind of nice to learn where all the different countries and stuff are. I never really paid too much attention to it before.”
“Yeah, I could see that being one of the more…useful classes,” Feeling liquid trickling down my chin, I quickly grabbed a napkin from across the table and wiped it off.
I heard the kitchen sink finally shut off. After the sound of a few clanging dishes, Mrs. Maslow approached the table with a washcloth to begin cleaning it off. She stole a quick glance at me, her expression telling me that she approved of what I was trying to do.
I was honestly just happy to be able to help Maddie. It killed me to see what she was dealing with. It killed me to know that she was still getting ripped apart because of what Ashton was doing to her. She was such an amazing girl and she didn’t deserve it.
I was so desperate to keep her spirits up because every time I had seen her upset and hating what her life had become, it didn’t just cause me to be equally as upset, it terrified me. I knew of quite a few people who had, at one time or another, struggled with depression, or self-harm, or suicidal thoughts. The last thing I wanted was for Maddie to reach that point as well. She meant a lot to me and I wanted to make sure that she was happy, despite what terrible events threatened to drag her down.
I continued to ramble on to Maddie about anything that came to my mind. I was in the middle of discussing how my own mother had somehow managed to make her recipe for amazing cupcakes far more delicious, when the phone began ringing.
Mrs. Maslow scrambled back into the kitchen from the living room, only to discover that the cordless phone she was looking for was not in its place on the wall. “James, is the phone in there with you?” She called back into the living room.
“Yeah, someone left it in here,” He replied back, causing her to run back into the other room and answer it.
I stood up from the kitchen table and stretched, feeling stiff from sitting for so long. Maddie and I had both finished eating a while ago. “Hey, why don’t we go play a card game or something?” I asked, trying to think of another good distraction for her.
She looked up at me curiously before nodding in agreement.
I gathered the empty bowls and spoons from the table and carried them over to the sink. I started washing them out, despite Maddie’s objections.
“Alex, my mom can wash them later. You don’t have to help out every time you come over,” She came over and leaned against the counter that was located next to the sink.
I just shrugged. “I don’t really mind. It’s not like I get a lot of dishes to clean up at college anyway. The cafeteria staff takes care of it all.”
I saw her roll her eyes at my response. She hated it when I insisted on doing this kind of thing. I had just always considered it to be the right thing to do. I guess it was just because of the way I was raised.
After I had finished that up, we started to head back through the kitchen. I was walking behind Maddie when we passed the entrance to the living room. After a quick glance in that direction, I stopped in my tracks.
Mrs. Maslow was standing next to the couch, looking extremely confused and afraid, as she clutched the phone to her ear. Drew sat on the floor next to Devon, who was playing with his toys. He seemed concerned as he watched his mother listen to whoever was on the other line. James even got up from where he was sitting and marched over to where she stood. It seemed to me that he had an idea of what was going on by the irritated look that his face held. He made a motion for her to hand over the phone. She quickly looked at him, shaking her head. She held a hand out towards him, signaling for him to back off and that she could handle it. She was trying to tell him his suspicions were wrong.
Something inside knew that this wasn’t right. All of the reactions to what was happening old me that whoever was on the other end of the phone call, wasn’t considered to be too much of a friend.
“Alex? What are you doing?”
I whipped my attention back to the kitchen. Maddie stood at the entrance of the hallway. She was watching me, obviously extremely confused by my actions.
“Oh, uh,” I licked my lips, not sure of what to tell her. Part of me felt that whatever this was, Maddie didn’t need to become a part of it. She was already dealing with a lot. “I just...” I absentmindedly pointed to the other room, instantly putting my hand down after realizing what I did.
Maddie curiously wandered over to where I stood and peaked into the living room. I internally sighed, feeling like an awful human being for pointing out… well, whatever that was.
“Well, alright… Carol,” Mrs. Maslow’s words drew my attention back into the other room. “…Goodbye.” She then ended the call. After a moment of complete silence, she brought a hand to her forehead and stared blankly at the ground.
Maddie took a step back, bringing herself closer to me. She no longer looked confused. It seemed like something clicked in her mind, making her extremely nervous as she watched her mother. Unexpectedly, I felt her hand clamp onto my wrist. “M-mom?”
My stomach churned at her voice. She sounded panicked.
Mrs. Maslow met us with alarmed eyes. I guess she had never noticed us standing there because of her distracting phone call. From the worried look she got from seeing us, I suddenly felt like the call had been regarding Maddie and everything she had been trying to deal with.
“What the hell is going on?” James’s gaze whipped between his sister and mother, desperate to be a part of what they already knew.
Mrs. Maslow looked back at him, taking a deep breath before she spoke. “That was… Carol Basset.”
I noticed Maddie tense up at the words.
Carol Basset? As in Ashton’s mom? My mind began to wander, trying to figure out where this could possibly be going.
“What- His mother?” James anger grew at the words. “Why is she calling here?!”
Maddie seemed to be frozen at this point. As far as I knew, she had never heard from Ashton’s parents. We had all grown to hate them as well because they never tried to make Ashton take responsibility for getting Maddie pregnant. None of us had ever understood why.
“She wanted to…apologize.”
James snorted in response but Mrs. Maslow continued after a moment’s hesitation. She looked back over at Maddie and I. “Maddie… he never told them…” Her voice remained even as she spoke.
“Wha?” Maddie’s voice was barely a whisper. I wasn’t sure if anyone else could even hear her or not. “H-he never…” She leaned her body into mine as she stared at her mother in astonishment. It seemed as if her own body was getting too weak to support her.
I was just as surprised as she was. How is it possible to go almost three years without ever mentioning to your own parents that you managed to get your girlfriend pregnant? That didn’t even make sense! I felt my own blood begin to boil but, by the looks of it, James still seemed to have me beat in the anger department.
“I guess they just found out recently…” Mrs. Maslow continued on, watching us all with weary eyes.
“I swear to God…” James mumbled under his breath as he frustratedly ran his hands through his hair, wincing because of the motion.
Maddie shook her head in disbelief. “I-I don’t understand,” she whispered, removing her hold on my wrist and grabbing my hand. She gripped it tightly. “I can’t believe it.”
My mouth hung open as I tried to formulate some sort of response. I squeezed her hand back as I thought.
Mrs. Maslow audibly took another deep breath. “That’s not all she called to tell me.” She took a turn nervously looking at each of us before locking eyes with Maddie. “…She invited us over for dinner.”
I felt Maddie loosen her grip on my hand as her body threatened to collapse. I quickly managed to grab a hold of her from behind, before her knees could give out and she ended up on the floor. Once I knew I had a hold on her, I looked back up at her mother with complete disbelief. My eyes widened and my eyebrows scrunched together. “What?” I felt my own head start to spin at the news. “What did you tell her?”
“I-I didn’t give her a direct answer. It caught me so off guard...”
James stormed out of the room through some other connected hallway. Not long after, Mrs. Maslow collapsed on a nearby couch. Drew continued to be stunned into silence.
I felt Maddie’s heart begin to pound, dragging my attention back to her. I quickly led her back towards the kitchen table in the room behind us. I pulled a chair out so she could sit down. She practically fell into it. I kneeled on the ground in front of her, desperate to get her attention. I grabbed both of her hands in my own, resting them on her legs. I wasn’t sure if she had even noticed. Her eyes were everywhere as her brain spun.
“Look at me,” I started to panic at the sight of her. She had just been starting to get better! Why did this have to happen? “Maddie, look at me, please?”
She quickly blinked a few times before forcing herself to focus on my face. Her brown eyes were wide with fear when they met mine.
I just stared at her for a few seconds, not sure if I should continue on with the everything-is-going-to-be-okay speech that was on the tip of my tongue. It didn’t seem right. I seemed like a lie.
“I-I can’t do that,” She whispered, searching my face for answers. “I can’t go there.”
“Then don’t,” My gaze never left hers.
She hesitated. “I feel like I don’t have a choice…”
“Then I’ll go with you,” I said without a second thought. In that moment I felt such a strong urge to protect her. She was so fragile and I knew I’d do everything in my power to make her whole again. I didn’t understand how Ashton was able to do any of this to her. In my eyes, Maddie was this amazing girl that I would, ultimately, do absolutely anything for. There wasn’t a day that went by that I didn’t think about her. How had he managed to screw up so badly?
“…Alex,” She bit her lip, seeming extremely concerned for me. “I-I don’t want to drag you into this mess.”
I wanted so badly to tell her how I didn’t care about that. I wanted to say how it didn’t matter if she dragged me down, because at least her life would get better and she’d finally be free of this nightmare. I wanted her to know that I was willing to sacrifice anything just to put an end to all of this, so she could finally smile again and actually mean it.
But instead of saying any of that, I bit my tongue. All I did was just stare at her as my brain continued to spew out reasons about how I would be more than happy to get dragged into that mess.
Eventually I nodded, letting her know that I understood that she was trying to protect me for my own sake, even though every last inch of me was itching to say otherwise. This girl was going to be the death of me.
AN: I'm exhausted. It's 3am. I refused to sleep until I posted this for you guys. Hopefully it made sense and I wasn't too delusional haha. Expect another update within the next week :) !! I'm on a mission to try and finish this story up before Christmas break so hopefully that works out. Thanks for sticking with this story for so long! You're the best!