*warning. Very short chapter I'm so sorry*
I'm supposed to be writing an English essay right now about nature. Yet I decided to write a new chapter instead.
I've got my priorities in check.
I hate myself for doing this. I'm updating almost every day. I said weekends because I'm usually always busy, but since I'm having this rare free time after I do my work for the day, I decided to take it for granted and write a lot of stuff.
Also for this chapter I am dedicating it toooooooo
*insert fancy drum roll here*
Panic_jpg !!!!
Thank you so much for supporting me on writing this story. You're always commenting and you're really sweet to me, thank you. I hope you continue on with this story for a long time.
You're going to kick away all my chances at ever being a cool writer on this site with your amazing stories. Everyone go check them out pleasseee
You're a wonderful, sweet person and I love you! Thanks J
To get the next chapter dedicated to you, just comment something you like about my story, what you want to see in the future, or something along those lines and I just might pick you! Don't be discouraged if you're not picked right away, everyone who does this will get one dedicated to them in no specific order.
ALSO THE END NOTES OF THIS CHAPTER ARE VERY VERY IMPORTANT SO PLEASE READ THE ENDING
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"God I hate everything you do." He growled out, throwing me onto the bed as I was breathing heavily, my jacket thrown to the ground along with Luke's shirt.
"I hate everything you say." I said to him, eyeing his bare chest as he walked closer, straddling me to the bed now.
"I hate the way you get so defensive over everything." He said kissing down my neck as his hand ran over my leg.
"I hate whenever you look at me." I breathed out, eyes shutting slightly as he kissed my sweet spot.
"I hate that I want you so much." He whispered, moving up to my ear. My heart was racing fast with every word we both spoke.
"Feelings mutual." I muttered to him as I ran my fingers down his sculpted chest, making him chuckle into my ear.
"I want you so badly. You don't know what you've been doing to me." He said huskily and I smirked.
"Please, do inform me just how badly you want me." I whispered. Where was this sudden burst of confidence coming from?
"Every day, no matter where I am, I think about you. The way your body would move against mine, the way you would moan my name. I think of touching you and making you want more. Every god damn day. "He spoke and I was breathless as I stared up at him now.
"Let me have you." He mumbled and I don't know why I nodded, but I did. His famous smirk made its way back onto his face as he lifted up my dress, moving away to undo his belt when the sound of the door bell chimed through the house.
"Shit." He said his eyes widening as he quickly re did his belt, standing up off of me and running around to find his shirt, slipping it back on.
I pushed my dress down and sat up confused. "Just let one of the other boys get it." I said although he ignored me, stumbling around and tripping over his own feet.
"I-I uh. I can't. I uh. Stay right here. Don't leave this room, you hear me?" he said walking over and placing a kiss on my lips, before running to the door, throwing It open before slamming it shut once more.
I sat there in utter confusion, why would he just run out? Despite his words, I stood up anyways, going to the door. I pulled my socks back up over my thighs as they had fallen down from our advances on each other. I slowly and carefully opened the door, tip toeing to the stairway, crouching down so I could get a good look at the door where I saw Luke standing in the doorway, talking to someone.
"Look Ashley, you need to leave right now." He whisper shouted and I suddenly became very interested.
"Luke you promised we could have some fun today!" She whined and he sighed, running a hand over his face.
"Look, we fooled around before but I can't do it right now." He said and I bit my lip.
"Why not? I had you wrapped around my finger just last week. You promised me we could continue. You said there would be a movie night with the boys tonight." She said, running a hand over his chest.
He didn't even try to move her hand away.
"Listen baby, I know what I saw. But I can't right now, I've got a um. Family over. They came to visit." He said, glancing behind him to make sure the boys weren't anywhere in sight to listen in on him. Little did he know I was hearing and seeing it all.
"Family? That's great! You could introduce them to your girlfriend!" She said happily and I felt my heart snap.
"Darling please not right now, I promise we can hang out tomorrow. Your place, usual time?" He suggested and she sighed but nodded.
"Sound's perfect. Don't forget to bring a condom." She said with a giggle, leaning up and kissing him roughly before walking away and back to her car.
Luke sighed in relief and shut the door, turning and coming back to the staircase. I scoffed and went into his room, leaving the door open as I grabbed my jacket off from the floor, slipping it onto my shoulders before I grabbed my phone. I felt arms slip around my waist and Luke kissed the side of my neck.
"Why is the door open baby girl?" he asked softly. I shrugged him off my shoulders, ignoring him. I felt him stand stiff behind me. I didn't bother turning around as I now had fresh tears on my face. I tried moving past him without looking up but he stopped me by my shoulders, lifting my face up and frowning.
"What's wrong?" he asked innocently and I laughed, pushing his hands off of him.
"Want to know a secret Luke Hemmings." I spat out and he just stared at me.
"All this time I have been denying my feelings for you, because I knew you were just an asshole bartender that sleeps around, but for a second there. Huh. For a second you got me. And I actually was giving myself to you." I said loudly. "Now I know you never changed, this is all just a game to you. You think women are just your little toys. Well reality check Hemmings the world doesn't revolve around you asshole. I'm out of here." I said pushing past him and running down the stairs
"Come back here!" he shouted, running after me but I ignored him and ran to the front door. I grabbed the knob and opened it as he reached the bottom of the steps
"I love you" He said his voice cracking. I stopped in my tracks, frozen by his words. I heard a soft sob from behind me.
"Please don't leave me Genevieve. I love you. I just have a hard time showing it. I've never done relationships before. Please, please say you love me too. Please." He begged, crying. I turned slightly to look at him, he was standing there with tears rushing down his face, bottom lip trembling as he looked at me with eager eyes.
"I hate you Luke Hemmings. And I always will."I whispered, walking out of the house. I took one last glance at him, seeing him drop to his knees as the tears never stopped. I ran back into my house, tears in my own eyes as I shut the door and locked it. I never wanted to open that door again.
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I spent countless days drinking. It seemed as if every night I sat on a bar stool drinking shot after shot, taking more swigs of whiskey than I could count. I walked home with a sway every night for weeks as I woke up in the same spot, passed out on my couch with the smell of alcohol surrounding me.
I hadn't spoken to Luke since that day. He didn't make an effort to contact me, not once. Either did the other boys. I kind of missed them. Mostly Ashton. I just wanted to hear his laugh surrounding me.
Except I never heard laughter anymore. I only heard the sounds of my own breathing, glass breaking, and sobs. That is what my life had gone to. I was just another drunken mess.
I couldn't tell you how many days have passed since it had been this way. Over a month now, it really seemed like much longer. I wasn't used to being alone. Sometimes I would visit Lukes bar, but I never found him there. I was kicked out of my pole dancing class due to the fact I always showed up either drunk or with a hangover.
The boy's songs were being played on the radio more often; it was the only way I could ever be close to them again. They released a new song called Amnesia.
I cry to it every night.
I never realized how much I would miss him until I left. I couldn't go back. Almost every other day her car was there. They always had loud parties, not to mention the countless band practices. It seemed like none of them missed me. Why would they? I was just the weird American neighbor who had a fling with Luke.
I was just a mess.
I couldn't help but wonder if he really loved me. Is that why things were so complicated?
I also couldn't help but wonder if I loved him.
If I didn't, why else would my heart hurt this much?
I decided to skip a night of drinking and tried to get some proper sleep, something I hardly knew the definition of anymore. I traveled to my room and laid on the bed, turning on my laptop. I went onto the familiar YouTube page I had come to memorize, as I visited it every night.
I played their video of Amnesia and watched Luke's face as I let my own tears put me to sleep.
__
When I awoke the next morning I had slammed my laptop shut, breathing the air in deeply. It was eerie in my home, the silence slowly cutting into me like a blade. I was tired of it.
What If I tried talking to Luke? It had been nearly two months and maybe it was time I stopped being stubborn. I knew he didn't want to see me, but maybe if we just talked. Even if I just got to see Ashton for two seconds, I'd feel a bit of relief. God, even if they all said they hated me I would be happy. It would give me some closure.
I got dressed out of my usual pajamas, actually putting on some makeup for once. I never wore it anymore considering it would just be wiped off with my tears. I was pathetic.
I left my house and started the familiar walk next door, but I was stopped in my tracks when I saw a sign in their yard.
FOR SALE.
No. No no no no no. This was not happening. They moved??
I ran back into my house, hyperventilating practically. I ran into my room and opened up my laptop, going onto twitter. I searched in Luke's username to see he was no longer following me.
I couldn't bare clicking unfollow on him.
I went to his most recent tweet and that's where I fell apart.
-@Luke5SOS: Wow ! Can't believe we are going on tour ! Never thought I'd leave my practice room. Get ready America, we're coming for you. :)-
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*prepares for everyone hating me*
I can guarantee that I will lose many readers with this chapter, which breaks my heart. I know this chapter rushed so much, but trust me; I have so many big plans for this story right now. Up until 20 minutes ago I didn't know what this chapter was even going to be about, let alone the whole plot and ending of it. But it hit me; what I want this to be about.
I asked you all awhile ago if you wanted them famous or local and everyone said local.
I'm so sorry I'm breaking that thought from you guys, but they will be famous now. But, I have so many plans please please don't leave me now. L
I feel like I may get so much hate for this chapter, and I respect anyone's decisions to remove this story from their library. Just know that this is my story at the end of the day, and I can't always expect it to go as everyone wants. I hope you all support that and do hopefully continue on with me.
I'm really excited about this story now, more than before. I'm really happy and I hope you all can be to.
Please let me know what you thought, this was a crappy chapter since I am rushing. I need to sleep. But the next chapter I plan on making so long, longer than 3,000 words. It'll take me a few days to write but it's going to be so big. You will love it I promise. So, how about it.
Stay with me?
I love you guys.