Hoseok Focus
It had been two more days. I was with Taehyung in Jungkook's room. Taehyung was fast asleep. We had spent the entire night talking and walking around the subway crash cave. I was afraid to fall asleep. Flashbacks to the last time I slept were keeping me awake. I had been trying to keep myself awake for the two days since then and occasionally I had drifted off, waking up when the nightmares started to come back.
I could understand Taehyung's pain. He was confused and terrified at the thought that the Tiger Gang could be torturing the life out of Jungkook. I was scared for that reason as well, but probably not to the extent that he could feel it. He was Jungkook's lover, after all. Jungkook was my little brother, emotionally speaking. I could feel a similar loss. And I could understand why Taehyung hated sleeping. He wouldn't keep himself up, because he was used to nightmares. He was stronger than me.
Stronger than me, Jung Hoseok, who'd been abused by his parental figures all his life and scared to think that they'd do something worse to his little sister. I prayed that she would finally decide to come back with me next time I visited. I knew better though. She was more scared of the gang than my parents. There was something in her that believed our parents could be forgiven and become good. I didn't have that in me. She was so pure and I was scared my parents would eventually break her.
The gang would do that, but in a much softer manner. Softer than blows to the stomach and bruises to the side. Burns and cuts and a broken past, terrifying childhood. Taehyung shifted and I looked at him. He was still sleeping, but the nightmares were evident in his expressions. If I couldn't protect my sister, then I would do everything I could to protect Taehyung.
I got up out of the chair and climbed onto the bed, nudging him awake. He sat bolt upright, breathing heavily and sweating. "Nightmares again." I said, more of a statement than a question. Tae nodded, his tired eyes reflecting no emotion and posture slack like he had no motivation. He looked bored. Bored and tired. Sick of what life threw at him.
"Hoseok?" Taehyung asked, an expression of even more sorrow dawning on his face. I hummed. He looked up at me, his eyes shining and his brows furrowed. "I don't want this anymore," He said. Silence passed.
"What do you mean?" I asked him. His eyes watered. "I don't want to feel this anymore."
"There's nothing I can do about that except be here for you."
"Yes there is."
"Taehyung, what are you saying?"
"I'm saying that I think death might be better than this."
"Taehyung!" I shouted. "You did not just say that!" I was surprised. I didn't think he would... "No it is not. Okay? You can't, and I won't let you. I will lock you up somewhere if I have to."
Taehyung waited for me to finish, the same look of boredom never leaving his face. "I really don't have any reason to live, if things are only going to get taken away from me as they have been my entire life. My mother, my freedom, my virginity, Jin, Namjoon, Jungkook- so if the Tiger Gang is only going to make my life worse no matter what, then why not just send me over there, take Jungkook back, and pretend like you never knew me? Then everyone's lives would be so much easier."
I shook my head. I couldn't believe Tae was having these thoughts. Taehyung let a tear fall, and as it dropped onto the bed and made a spot, I thought about what he was and knew I had to do something about it. He didn't deserve to live like this, considering his lineage and his gifts. "Tae," I said. "It'll be alright. Don't worry, I will fix everything."
"How?"
"You will see. Give me 36 hours."
I pulled Tae into a warm hug. I knew what I had to do.
I am tired and bored and you might just get the next chapter in like ten minutes. I want to catch up to where I'm at in google docs.