"Stephanie... Stephanie... Stephanie!" Damien's voice intrudes in my dreams, and I open my eyes to find him shaking my shoulder. "Finally. It's afternoon already, we're going home."
"Ahh, fine..." My head starts pulsing as I sit up in the couch. John's still sleeping behind me.
What a fucking headache... What even happened last night?
"John." I say his name and nudge his shoulder. He stays deep in his sleep, and I'm too tired to try harder.
"Johhhn." Cassie leans over the couch, and starts slapping him. "Peter can you just carry him to the car like the inconsiderate baby he is?"
"I'm up... I'm up." John grabs Cassie's hand to stop the slapping. Cassie lights him a cigarette, and I snatch it before he can.
"Thanks Cassie."
"You're welcome." Cassie grins at me. John looks around confused.
"Come on, let's go already." Damien calls from the door.
"My bag..." I say.
"It's in the car. So is John's backpack." Lora says.
"Sweet." John swings up to his feet, taking the cigarette from my lips.
"Asshole." I shake my head at him, and he winks at me.
Can it ever really work with him? The thought comes to me suddenly, as I watch him walking out the door. When I'm with him, it all feels like a dream... Can it ever be reality?
"Are you coming?" He looks at me over his shoulder, and I look in his eyes. I see the endless void inside them, and a shudder passes through me. What is it about him? I thought I could figure him out, but I'm just sinking deeper every time... and there's nothing to stop my fall.
"Yeah." My lips and feet move on their own, and I follow him out
"See you." Cassie blows me a kiss out the window of Peter's car. I wave back at her, and we go in the back of Damien's car.
He starts driving, no sound between us but the radio.
"Did Jessica and father leave?" John asks.
"Yeah." Damien answers. I see John nod to himself, then tilt his head back against the seat, and close his eyes. I get the feeling he won't be opening them for the rest of the ride.
Last night was crazy... I did cocaine, had a fight with Jessica, then drunk with John until we passed out on the couch. Why do I feel like I fucked up?
I want to be with him, but I still have no idea who he is... I don't know if I ever will. I don't know if he'll let me.
To my surprise, his eyes open, and he smiles at me.
"Come closer." He spreads his arm, and I move to the seat beside him, resting my body against his. His arm wraps around me in a warm, strong embrace. The grind in my head starts to slow and calm.
Maybe it's not all wrong... I think to myself as I feel the breath deepen in his chest. I let myself relax, and fall asleep in an instant.