2nd part to "Somebody That I Used to Know".
A/N: Here we go! I loved how many positive comments I got, so I decided to do a part 2! Just to note... the words italicized and bolded are lyrics, and the ones just italicized are flashbacks. Also, I skipped some parts of the lyrics, so bear with me. I didn't want to make it too confusing. :)
Oh, also, I envisioned the wedding dress to be like Bella's in Breaking Dawn.
Warnings: Angst x 1000, sad/regretful Bucky, etc.
---
The moment that Steve had left the apartment, slamming the door shut behind him, Bucky felt his chest begin to ache. A deep, dull pain that began to become more prominent the more Bucky focused on it.
He had to let her go. He couldn't keep burdening her with his past, and have her at risk every time that she stepped outside. He wanted to her safe, and in order to do that... Bucky needed to push her away.
As many times as his heart broke watching her eyes well up with tears in the midst of a fight that had no real meaning, Bucky did not make amends. He let her fall apart in front of him, as hard as it was to watch. He hoped every time that she would leave freely, that Y/N would not let him hurt her more than he already had. But she stayed, and Bucky just had to keep up the charade.
Eventually, Y/N had left, and he tried to convince himself that he was relieved. She was safe, no longer a risk for being kidnapped by HDYRA and no longer a burden to his past. But it all faded away to sadness, the pain that he felt for hurting her when all he wanted to do was love her.
The sadness only grew worse, when he heard from Sam that Y/N and Steve were getting married in the following month. His eyes began to water and the glass he had in his hand shattered in a matter of seconds. Sam asked from the other end of the line of the phone what had happened, but Bucky dismissed it as an accident, before making an excuse about having to go run some errands before hanging up.
His previous words to Steve rang in his mind clearly, as though they were spoken yesterday.
"You love her, don't you?" Bucky chuckled as he shook his head, but inside, he was terrified of what his answer would be.
"A hell of a lot more than you ever did, Bucky."
The words stung him, and anger built up in his chest. He walked into the kitchen and cleaned up the blood dripping down his face before turning and spatting, "Go get her then. You are welcome to have her. You obviously deserve her a hell of a lot more than I do. Don't make the same mistakes I did."
Bucky's mouth was dry and his heart empty as the words replayed in his head. Oh, how he wish he could take them back.
I heard, that you've settled down
That you found a boy and you're, married now
Bucky didn't even have to close his eyes to imagine the wedding. Y/N would look absolutely stunning, as she always did. Her dress hugged her curves deliciously, and flowed to the floor, a veil elegantly positioned on her head.
A smile lit up her face, her happiness reflecting in her eyes. It was the type of smile that made Bucky's heart skip a beat, his chest filling with warmth knowing that she was happy.
But he knew that smile was no longer for him.
I heard, that your dreams came true
I guess he gave you things
I didn't give to you
Y/N was happy now, a hell of a lot happier than she was in the two years that Bucky tried to convince her to leave him. She deserved someone who made her happy, and if that was Steve....
Bucky's left hand curled into a fist and he had to let out a deep breath. Maybe there was still time. He walked into his room, and opened his closet door. "Well, I guess it's time to buy a suit."
--
Y/N's POV
The day was here finally here. After months of preparation, my wedding day had arrived. The dress was absolutely stunning, with delicate designs in the back with white pearls dancing down to the waistline. I had fallen in love with the dress the moment I saw it, but was extremely hesitant to purchase It after reading the price tag.
But with Pepper being one of my bridesmaid, a phone call was made, and my dress officially became my wedding present from her and her new husband, Mr. Tony Stark.
"You know you didn't have to do this, right?" I smiled as I slipped on the dress after my make-up was finished. "It was so expensive, I-"
"Don't finish that sentence, Y/N." Pepper shook her head as she buttoned up the line of pearl. "It's our gift."
"I can't believe a wedding dress can cost so much money." A nervous smile turned up the corners of my lips as I looked into the mirror, admiring how the white fabric hugged my curves perfectly. For one of the few moments in my life, I felt absolutely beautiful and I was glowing both inside and out.
"Let's put on the veil!" Wanda said excitedly, her eyes bright with excitement. I giggled at her excitement and sat back down to let her place it into my styled hair. After another five minutes of conversation, Pepper's phone buzzed on the table and my heart jumped as she smiled and said,
"It's time to get married, Mrs Rogers."
"Oh God. I'm gonna be sick."
"Wait until after you get married and after you take off the dress. That'd be a waist of money." Wanda joked, and I glared at her slightly as I got to my feet.
"Don't listen to her, Y/N." Pepper rolled her eyes, and opened the door, gesturing for me to walk out. "You have nothing to worry about. You are about to get married... to Captain fucking America. "
I stepped out into the hall way, and Wanda placed the bouquet of flowers into my hands. My legs trembled slightly, and butterflies filled my stomach as I heard the number of voices conversing downstairs.
"How many people are here?"
"Don't worry about." Wanda gently pushed me forward, and I began to walk forward hesitantly. "All that matters is that Steve is waiting for you. Honestly, I think we've been waiting for this wedding for a long time... I could have even seen it when you were with... um..."
The thought of Bucky flashed in mind, and I winced slightly at the reminder of how badly he had treated me. A soft smacking sound and a faint cry of protest could be heard behind me, and I shook my head, trying to clear my mind of the unpleasant memories.
"Let's get going." I said softly, and started to walk. But as I took my first step forward, another figure stepped into the hall way. My breath caught in my throat as I recognized the dark shoulder length hair, nicely trimmed facial hair, and the silver glint of the figure's left arm. "Bucky." I breathed.
Old friend, why are you so shy
Ain't like you to hold back
Or hide from the light
His eyes met mine, and I felt like I couldn't breath. His eyes weren't void of emotion, as they were when I had left his apartment. They were sad, and filled with regret.
"Y/N, you're going the wrong fucking way... you'll be- oh shit."
My eyes did not move from Bucky's face, my body frozen as I waited for him to make the next move. Would he run away? Would he come try to coax me back into his "loving embrace" after all these years?
"Should I go get Steve?"
"No." I answer after a moment of silence, my voice sharp as I turn to walk the other way, my eyes never leaving my ex-boyfriend's face. "I'm not going to let him ruin this day. Let's go."
And with one last searing look, I turned my back on the first man I ever loved, and went down stairs to the beautiful future that I knew I deserved.
--
Bucky's POV
My heart nearly stopped when I saw her in the hallway. She looked absolutely stunning, just I had imagined she would be. The shock on her face wasn't that surprising to me, since I hadn't seen or talked to her in the past year and a half.
But the gleam of anger and disbelief in her eyes before she turned to walk away stunned me. I didn't know exactly what I was expecting... but it wasn't that.
I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited but I
Couldn't stay away I couldn't fight it
I had hoped you'd see my face
And that you be reminded that for me it isn't over
I took my seat next to Sam, making small talk with him as everyone settled down in their seats. Steve walked forward to stand at the end of the aisle and I felt myself slowly sink deeper into my seat. He didn't know I was here, and I wasn't sure how he'd react if he found out.
Sam glanced over at me, and muffled a snicker before commenting, "Is the Winter Soldier afraid that good ol' Captain America is going to give his ass a whooping if he sees him?"
"Shut up." I grumbled.
"Look, it's been a year. And, Steve wouldn't do that. He wouldn't want to ruin this day for Y/N."
I didn't respond, only watching as my old friend stood nervously in front of all the guests, his eyes sparkling with excitement.
"He really loves her, doesn't he?" My voice was small, just like how I was feeling inside.
"He does..."
The wedding flew by in a flash. Y/N walked down the aisle, a nervous smile gracing her lips. But whatever nerves she had seemed to evaporate the moment she saw Steve at the end of the aisle. I watched silently as they exchanged vows, placed their wedding rings on their fingers, and as Steve dipped Y/N and kissed her passionately.
Never mind I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best
For you too, don't forget me
I beg, I'll remember you said
Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead yeah
Sam convinced me to go to the reception, and I found myself sitting at a table fairly close to the bride and groom's table. In a matter of seconds, I felt a hand clap my shoulder and I let out a breath as I turned to see Steve Rogers standing behind me.
"Hey, Buck." To my surprise, nothing about his demeanor seemed angry. Maybe a little shock to see me, but beside that, he was absolutely happy. "It's been a while since I last saw you. How have you been?"
"I'm doing a bit better." I gave a hesitant smile. "Congrats, man."
"Thanks." With one last smile, he turned to talk to some more guests.
"Damn, imagine if he did try to beat your ass."
"Sam!"
Nothing compares no worries or care
Regrets and mistakes their memories made
Who would have known how bittersweet
This would taste
I knew that I needed to at least have one dance with her. One moment to try to apologize. Trying to regain her love was pretty much off the table at this point. I just wanted her forgiveness.
She sat at her table, sipping on a glass of wine as she watched the other dance. I took a deep breath before walking up to the table. "Y/N?"
Her eyes flickered up to mine and they became guarded. "Yes?"
"Can I have a dance with the bride?" Her expression was skeptical. "Please?" I pleaded gently.
"Okay." Y/N rose from the table and walked towards the dance floor where I waited. I gently placed my hands on her waist while she wrapped her arms around my neck, swaying gently to the music playing.
"I bet you wish I never came to your wedding in the first place." I started slowly. "But I had to see you again."
"Bucky..." Y/N looked away.
"I know, you're obviously in love with Steve. We are at your wedding after all." I sighed as I gazed down at her. God, she was so beautiful. "But I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I put you through hell all of these years, and I'm sorry that I didn't love you like you deserved to be loved. You deserve the world, doll. And I'm sorry that I wasn't able to give you it. But I know Steve will. "
Her gorgeous Y/E/C eyes began to water slightly with tears, and she bit her lip slightly as she looked up at me.
"How long have you been wanting to say that to me?"
"Ever since you left the apartment that night." I smiled sadly. "Maybe even before that... ever since I changed. I just wanted to protect you, and I thought that the best way was to keep you away from me." Before she could speak, I cut her off. "When Sam first told me you were getting married, I decided to come because I thought I could win you back. But I see the way you look at Steve, and the way he looks at you. I'm not going to hurt more people, even though you are what I want."
I had to pause to hold back the tears bubbling in my eyes.
"You will always be what I want. But I know I have to let you go. And I'm okay with that. And if all I am is a friend, if you're willing to let me, then I'll take it. Because being able to see you at all is a blessing in itself."
"Of course I'll be your friend, Bucky." Y/N smiled and hugged me tightly. For the first time in a while, I felt... happy, content. Just having this girl in my arms was enough, even though I knew it wouldn't last forever. She pulled back and smiled up at me, her eyes watery. "I forgive you."
"Is someone making the bride cry?"
"Oh, it's alright, Steve. They're happy tears." Y/N laughed as Steve walked over, his tone light but his eyes lit with a warning for me to back off. She moved to wrap her arms around his neck, and kissed him lightly. "Come on, let's go cut the cake."
After that, I talked with Sam for the rest of the night. I no longer had any weight, any terrible feeling of guilt, on my heart. Y/N was happy, and although she would never be mine again, she was back in my life again, and I would treasure that for as long as I'd live.
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead
Sometimes it lasts in love... but sometimes it hurts instead
A/N: Alright, it's official. I'm gonna start writing Steve imagines. The question I have for y'all is, would you want me to combine them in this book or make a whole separate book for Steve imagines? I'm thinking a whole new book, but let me know what you think!
-M <3