Adi pressed her back against the wall, hoping that the people around her wouldn't see how much she was squirming. She'd thought that a treat at lunch time would make her feel better after one of the most stressful weeks of her life. She'd always loved those huge drinks, but hadn't enjoyed one recently because she was too worried about her diaper leaking if someone said her name in the afternoon. She'd thought that drinking more would naturally make her pee more, but she'd never expected to find herself this desperate an hour and a half after she finished her drink. She didn't know why it had hit her so hard today, and that was a new worry. Was it some additional effect of the hypnosis?
She couldn't believe that, and shook her head as if that would make it easier to believe. Hypnosis might be able to make her do things, she couldn't really deny it now. But she was absolutely sure that it couldn't make a physical change like making her bladder fill faster. Hypnosis wasn't magic, it couldn't make a large drink larger than it already was, or make the liquid go through her system any faster. The discomfort she was feeling now was a physical sensation, and Adi knew beyond any doubt that it wasn't the hypnosis file behind it.
That discomfort was crossing the line to the point where she might describe it as pain when her phone vibrated with a call from Toni. She put it to her ear again.
"You okay, babe? I thought you were going to be out in a few minutes. I drank your coffee, and got you a hot one."
"Some little kid crapped on the floor," Adi replied with a groan. She didn't know for sure what had happened, but she could believe the story she'd pieced together from rumours spreading along the queue. "The maintenance staff say it's a hygiene thing, some dumb legislation says they have to close the ladies' until they've cleaned it up properly, and the cleaning guys took ages to get their cleaning cart down the corridor with so many people in the way. There's people using the disabled one, but that's only one stall, so the line's moving even slower."
"Well, I heard from the guy at the donut stand that they've nearly sorted out whatever the problem was in Lairon Square. They might be opening it up again in ten minutes."
"I wish I didn't have to wait ten minutes," Adi grumbled. Somehow it made her feel a little better to complain, even when she knew there was nothing she could really do to improve her situation.
"Well, you don't have to, do you? If you're getting too uncomfortable, you could always use your diaper. I mean, you'll get to the front of the line soon enough anyway, right? So there's nothing to stop you just relaxing a bit and sparing yourself that discomfort."
"Are you crazy?" Adi couldn't think what else to say. But she was at least aware of her situation enough to lower her voice a little, so she could avoid attracting attention. "I can't–"
"You looked pretty desperate before. Which makes you more uncomfortable? Is needing to go so bad really better than needing to change when you get there?"
"Well... that's as maybe, but I still can't... That's just not normal!"
"Since when do we care about what's normal? There's not any rules of etiquette dealing with situations like this, you know? And I say your comfort is more important than any arbitrary rule, if it's not hurting anyone else. That's just being practical, isn't it?"
"Yeah, but I can't just..."
"Too embarrassed to do it even when you can see it's the logical solution?"
"It's not like that. It's just... I have to be..."
"Have to be strong? Have to be an adult? Nonsense. You don't have to do anything. I mean, I'm sure you can hold it if you want to. But I can tell over the phone that it's hurting you, so why not do it the easy way? If you used your diaper now, would it be any worse than the times at school?"
Adi wanted to just say that was crazy, and hang up again. But she knew that Toni's suggestion was as rational as it was weird. The solution that minimised discomfort, and didn't really hurt anyone. If someone from school happened to see her now and called out her name, it would probably be less hassle than waiting while the four women in front of her in the line filed one by one into the disabled stall. But that was irrelevant.
"Maybe," she conceded. "But nobody here even knows me."
"Would you like..."
Toni was still speaking, but Adi lifted the phone away from her ear for a second to see why an old woman in a Mercer Centre uniform was stepping forward to address the little crowd.
"You'll be pleased to know that the cleaning staff have finished, so you can use the facilities again. We apologise for any inconvenience this may have caused, and those to the back of the line might find it easier to head to Lairon Square, where the customer facilities have just been reopened after a..."
"It's okay," Adi said with a faint smile as she put the phone back to her ear. She'd struggle to hold it even a minute longer, but the strangers in front of her were already rushing to the door on the left, and she wouldn't need to wait another minute.
"It is," Toni answered, and Adi found herself wondering what her friend had been asking during her lapse in attention. "It's all okay, babe, you don't need to be ashamed of asking for help. It's okay, Adelaide."