Part 3
Collectively, the room said 'Amen' -expect for Gaige who blinked down at his dinner plate. Stanley announced Adults would get to go through the food line first which made the kids whine but gave Gaige a celebratory moment of relief. He could close his eyes, run his thumb over the smooth back his phone case, listen to all the giggles and talk of what food who was going to get the most of.
He thought of mounds of mash potatoes, his protruding hip bones, neon numbers flashing on the treadmill, Leon and his mama, a blunt, someone riding him, staring at his feet on the scale, fingers down his throat, Erin's pumpkin pie, Milton's terrible flirting with Adonis, holes in his jeans, the camera Adonis liked to hide behind, the articles Maddy sent him when she saw the cuts on his wrist and numbers on the scales, his sickness-
"Ok, you kids can go get your food. Chester, make sure one of your brothers help you get your food, okay?" Brad smiled with his own large, filled to the top, plate of food at Gaige and then his younger son.
The kids slipped out of their chairs at the speed of lightning- with their plates in hand- the teenagers much slower to follow to the picked apart food. After about twenty adults, there was still plenty of everything left. Corn, stuffing, dark and light meat. Gaige sucked in his lips, easing the thin skin between his teeth.
"Gaige!" Chester was in the middle of the line, but swung around, his eyes scanning until they found the tallest boy in the whole house, "Will you help me? Daddy said-"
"I know," Gaige sighed, step out from the second last in line and moved to stand next to the boy about half his height. He could see the adults all smiling with their light banter as they stuffed their faces. Older siblings helped the younger siblings, Milton and Adonis even helped a couple kids, but Gaige just stood their next to the half-brother he never wanted. The son he was supposed to be.
When they started to reach the food, Chester handed his plate to Gaige who took it after a minute of hesitation, "Ok, I want only a little bit of the light colored turkey. The dark is like gum and is hard to chew," Gaige watched the little boys screw up his face for a moment before putting two little bits of light meat on the plate, and then they moved down, "Uh, I want a big mountain of mash potatoes. And gravy. Like daddy always gets. but no stuffing. It has onions and I hate onion," At least the two brothers could agree on something, "Uh, corn. I like corn. And, uh, green beans. And, ooh! I roll! Gram has the best rolls! Two rolls! So I can have one for later," The little boy bit his smile with such excitement. Gaige followed the boy's instructions, even though he knew Chester was 5 and shouldn't be trusted to choose his own life, although he had to admit he was pretty good at it.
"And mac and cheese!" The plate was pretty full, Gaige had managed to barely bigger than the portion size he eats, but he figured it was okay seeing as it was a five year old and it was a lot of different food he wanted to eat.
Gaige finished and handed the plate to his little sibling, who eagerly took it but seemed to dip in strength as if the plate was so heavy. Then Chester smiled largely up at Gaige with messed up teeth and pushed them towards the water jug, "Okay now I need water, and make sure to write my name on it so nobody else drinks out of it. It's my water," Gaige blinked at the little demanding boy, but filled up a cup and wrote 'Chester' on the side with a sharpie that had been placed nearby. When Gaige went to hand the little boy the water, Chester dodged it and began walking back to his seat, "Come on. And then you can get your food and eat with us."
Gaige shuffled behind the little boy who stumbled with his large plate of food. He watched as Chester slide his plate on the table, and then into his folding chair, before smiling at Gaige, "Okay. You can put my drink down. Go get food before daddy gets more and eats it all," Gaige's automatic response would have been 'he can have it all if he wants' but he remembered he was talking to a five-year-old who probably didn't his body and will to live.
So, he set down the glass of water that was cold in his hands, held lifted the plate that was in his hands the whole time, and shuffled back to the line, where Adonis was leaving with his own filled plate, Krista was slapping a mound of stuffing on her plate with her ever-bored look, and Milton had just handed another little kid his plate.
Gaige stepped in the very back of the line, behind Milton who had just cut to make sure he got the good pieces of turkey his step-brother was assuming. Gaige could only imagine what the stuck up adults at the oh so fancy adult table were talking about. Was it about Milton and his grades, the weather outside, some other persons kid's orchestra concert, Krista and her makeup, Gram's cooking, or Gaige's troubled past?
He stepped forward when Milton moved and picked up one single small piece of light turkey. Then he put half a cup of mash potatoes because he knew they were specifically 150 calories -based on previous research- some green beans, some corn, and -because his plate looked pitiful- a dinner roll. Then he filled up a cup with water, almost wrote 'the one in ripped jeans' but wrote his name in a sharpie and walked back to the table as the last person standing.
He set his plate down, caught all the looks at all the empty space between his food, and shoved his height under the folding table and Thanksgiving themed plastic table cloth. Adonis was sitting across from him, watching his every move as he picked up his force gingerly, and stabbed a single corn kernel on a prong. When Gaige glanced up, he caught Adonis' eyes widened a millimeter more, turkey on fork hanging in the air.
Chester, who was three seats down was bouncing in his seat as he shoved food more around hsi face than in his mouth, "Gaige! You need more food!"
Gaige looked at his little portions on the plate, the roll he wasn't going to eat, the mash potatoes he was going to puke back up in an hour, "I'm okay," He ate the single little corn on the fork, "Your face is a fucking mess."
All the eyes popped open, except for Gaige and the little kids. Milton was sitting next to Gaige, and slapped his step-brother hard, "Don't say that in front of kids!"
But Chester and his little friends were giggling nonstop, "Oops," Chester wiped his face and kept giggling. Gaige watched them and scooped up more corn on his fork.
With how little his portions are, he knew he was going to have to eat most of his food. It was the only way to sneak in the claim of being too full for dessert and not look like he was mentally sick like he was. He couldn't say the word Maddie had first brought up to him, but he could acknowledge he was sick. That meant another fork full of corn, another bite of turkey, another fluff of mash potatoes.
"A-are you alright?" Gaige lifted his head from staring down at the spiral of his plate. Adonis' ears stood out too far for his head, like a little mouse, with rosy cheeks. Gaige found himself comparing his plate to Adonis', who had eaten nearly half of his large amount of food, "You just, uh, you look kind of spacey. Like you don't feel good. And don't want to eat your food," Milton motioned at Gaige's plate with his fork.
Gaige wondered for the first time if someone outside of his life could see what was wrong with him. It'd only been Leon and Maddie before, the two he spent his entire day with, seven days a week. And it'd still taken them so long, longer than any brother or best friend should. And Gaige couldn't help but wonder if other people if there were other people as fucked up as him if they had people notice how sick they were. Or if they were better at hiding it.
Did other piles of bones have strangers they've only met a few times begin to know what was happening? Did strangers pay attention enough to know when one was dying? When one's bones begin to become so thin they could break on command?
Or was Gaige over thinking everything?
"I'm fine," Then he smashed the already mashed potatoes with the back of his fork. Before scooping it up and putting the mush in his mouth and pretending to enjoy it.
Adonis stared at Gaige. His eyes were always wide, like a perfect symbol of his innocence. Gaige felt like the food slide down the back of his throat like a snake, reaching his stomach and then wrapping it's around his vital organs until he gone. Until he really couldn't eat anything. Until he had an excuse to starve himself.
But he forced himself. Because that's what he did best. But this time he was forcing himself to eat. To make his plate empty like everyone around him. Even if it meant feeling sick. Feeling so sick. Mentally, physically. When it was all mental.
Everyone around Gaige got seconds, Chester ate like three rolls. But Gaige pushed his plate away after the final bite. Like he had planned to for days. Adonis had stared at Gaige's plate, Gaige staring at Adonis.
He wanted to jump up, start his various mile runs he knew he would need to do to get rid of all the excess calories. He wanted to run to the bathroom, shove two fingers down the back of his throat and test his gag reflex. He wanted to ask Adonis what he knew. If he knew anything. If he wanted to know. And he hated the thought of wanting someone to know.
"Chester, baby, don't eat too much. You want room for dessert," Erin had somehow popped up at the dinner table, pushing back the little boy's hair as he finished his third roll.
Milton rolled his eyes at his mom, "Chester can put down so much. He's eaten more than Gaige by twice."
Erin's gaze snapped to mine with a dissatisfied look, her lips curled up, "You didn't like the food, Gaige?"
He shrugged, "Nothing beats southern cookn'," Then leaned back in his chair with a smirk.
Erin crossed her arms, "Well, I hope we can live to half your standards," She let out her little 'hmph' and turned to her youngest child, "No more eating. Dessert is in half an hour. Milton, make sure your brother doesn't make a mess or anything," Gaige watches his step-mother stalk back to the adult table with an instant fake smile and a laugh about whatever not funny thing was going on there.
"Watch your child Milton," Gaige was mumbling nonsense under his breath, twirling a corner of the paper napkin between his fingers the way he would a blunt, "Don't let him get fat."
But the people around him heard, specifically Milton, who turned to his step-brother with a harsh look, "He's five. He's allowed to pig out a little. He's barely fat."
Gaige should have stopped himself. He knew better, lord did he know better. He's had years of experience of keeping his lips shut, no matter what his brain wanted him to say. Because there were consequences of what you say, and he knew that. But maybe because he was so focused on his bulging stomach, the cute boy gazing at him with wonder across the table, the lack of family on a family filled day, or his growing lack of responsibility towards his life he kept talking.
First, he scuffed, "So? I wished my parents had the mind to stop me from stuffing myself at any age. Would have been.." He cut himself off, it didn't matter anymore. He crossed his legs under the table, letting regret sink in with the looks from both the boys near him.
Milton had turned in his seat enough to face his step-brother fully. To stare at him fully. Because, for the near month that Milton had know Gaige, he had never seen Gaige eat a whole meal -not that he had thought about it before. He'd never heard Gaige ask for lunch money or snack foods. He'd never seen Gaige fill up his bowl or plate. It was all playing with his food, stalling. Yet his step-brother claimed he stuffed his face his whole life.
Adonis stared at the boy across from him who never smiled. He'd barely known Gaige, only a few meetings in the month the new boy had attended the school, but he'd heard some things. Like the time Gaige punched Dennis Hay for calling someone a retard. Or when he gave a speech in history class on how he'd love living in the 1920s because underage kids could drink alcohol. But apparently, the speech was very sophisticated. He was there after school when they filmed certain scenes, he came with Alexia who liked to flaunt the tall boy. He never wanted to get food with them afterward or watch closer than ten feet away. He was a complete mystery. Yet, Adonis had some inkling in his stomach of something he knew the signs of. From merely a Thanksgiving dinner.
Gaige didn't like the staring. He didn't like the attention. Specifically, from two people who didn't know him.
"Fuck off, stop staring at me," Adonis blinked, but linked down at his lap with a blush. Milton furrowed his brows and turned to his sister who was texting on her phone.
Gaige took the spoon he didn't use and slipped it into his pocket while no one was looking.
Uggghhhhhhhh, hhhhhoooooonnnneeeyyyy, there are going to be so many parts to this thanksgiving shit. I feel bad because like a fourteen part little thing is annoying I feel you girl I'm listening but also it just like all connects, you picking up what I'm putting down? Anyway I apologize hopefully only one more part after this sorry