Their first fight happened after they reached the 5 month mile stone.
Lauren had been travelling for several shoots all over Europe and Camila had been stuck in L.A, writing and trying to finish her album.
They hadn't stopped communicating, in fact they were finally going to look for a house in Miami for them to move in and call it their home.
They both had insecurities they were hiding from each other.
Lauren feeling like she was only Camila's girlfriend because of her looks.
Camila worrying that Lauren might get annoyed with their lack of physical attention and the constant paparazzi and fans jumping her.
Dinah was also on the edge of her seat. She was subjected to both women pouring their hearts at her. She was going insane from trying to keep both secrets at once. Normani had been on the edge of the short stick as Dinah had slightly ignored her on some nights.
It finally erupted when Lauren's hotel room was ransacked and her clothes were spread everywhere and she swore it was cum on her sheets with her panties.
She had quickly told her agent and they changed her room to a more secured one.
Her stress just popped when Camila texted her all chippy.
Camzi💓: Hey baby!
Camzi💓: i finally finished my third song for you :))
Camzi💓: I was thinking we should FaceTime later? I really miss your gorgeous face
There again, her looks.
LoLo💚: Why can't you just say I'm smart or funny or something other than I'm gorgeous?
Camzi💓: ?? I always tell you you're amazing, inside and out
LoLo💚: You don't! It's always about my face, or my eyes, my butt, my chest
LoLo💚: Camila what is wrong with you?!
Camzi💓: What the hell is wrong with you?
Camzi💓: where did this come from??
LoLo💚: someone broke into my hotel room and cummed over my underwear and sheets
Camzi💓: did u change rooms?
LoLo💚: Ofc i did!
LoLo💚: Why are u so concerned?? It's your fucking fault this happened!
Camzi💓: excuse me?
LoLo💚: Ever since u announced I was your girlfriend, creeps have been taking my photos unannounced, they've been stalking me relentlessly and they've been stepping on my name.
LoLo💚: It's your fucking fault!
Camzi💓: oh..
Camzi💓: I'm sorry
Camzi💓: I'll leave you alone
LoLo💚: Damn right you should
She forgot. She forgot this was her girlfriend she was talking to. She forgot.
--
Lauren finsihed her shoots with eyebags and red eyes. She had felt immensely guilty after the 'fight' she had with Camila. It was just her venting out her frustrations on her girlfriend.
She had texted apologies and Camila forgave her. Or so she said.
LoLo💚: I'm sorry baby
LoLo💚: i was just so stressed
LoLo💚: I didn't know what I was saying
Camzi💓: it's okay
Camzi💓: it comes with the territory
LoLo💚: Are you sure you're fine?
Camzi💓: I am. I'm an adult, a bit of a squabble isn't enough to knock me down
LoLo💚: oh okay..
Camzi💓: let's forget about it okay?
LoLo💚: okay
But after that, there were no more iloveyous on twitter, no more mentions from Camila. Some pictures were deleted from her instagram and she had changed her format to a darker one, saying it was a hint on her new album, Lauren knew better.
She was staying on the low. Keeping Lauren's profile low as well.
Also the texts they had had decreased in affection, instead of a way to talk to voice out their love, it became an obligation.
Lauren didn't know how deep the wound really was. She thought Camila wouldn't take her outburst to heart. After all, everyone would snap once in a while right?
But as they neared 6 months together, she never heard Camila raise her voice during calls. Her tone was soft and it was reassuring although it lacked emotion.
She used to send Lauren a rose each and everyday, one single rose delivered wherever she was at exactly 3 in the afternoon. After their fight, the red rose was replaced by the color of pale pink.
It was like the red was drained of all it's love.
Camila had come home on their 6 month anniversary, but unlike all the others, they didn't go out. Camila had cooked them dinner and made the backyard of Lauren's house into a tent, a romantic candle lit dinner for them both.
That night they didn't kiss nor made love.
Camila escaped to L.A the very next day, leaving Lauren a note and a kiss on the forehead. Not even on the lips.
After their 6 month, Camila seemed to fall back into her lovey dovey state with Lauren. Making sure to call out every quality she loved about the girl. She sent the red rose again and when they talked, Camila seemed like herself.
--
Except she wasn't.
Dinah was there to hold her hair up as she vomitted on the toilet.
She was drunk out of her mind, after partying and crying all night at the club. She had stole Dinah for a few nights.
She wailed and punched Dinah's chest, seeing Lauren in her.
She screamed curses. She screamed heartbreaking words.
"I KNEW I WASN'T ENOUGH!"
"I NEVER GIVE ENOUGH!"
"WHY CAN'T SHE SEE? WHY CAN'T SHE SEE MY PAIN DINAH?!"
"WHY DID SHE SAY THAT DINAH?? WHY WAS IT MY FAULT??"
"I TRIED! I FUCKING TRIED!"
"I'M USELESS."
"I'm worthless."
"I don't deserve her."
Her words of pain turned into statements for herself.
But she kept it all from the love of her life, Lauren had to endure enough of her own problems. She didn't need Camila's clashing with her own.
So with Dinah's long patience, her self depreciation, dancing all night at the club, drowning herself in booze and of course, hiding the pain to herself. Camila made it through their 7th month without Lauren ever knowing she was breaking inside.
Of course Lauren noticed that sex was now just a way to warm their beds whenever Camila came home. Kissing was only the appetizer before Camila would pleasure her into oblivion. She didn't comment though, if they had a problem. Camila would bring it up.
--
But she never did.
Like all of Camila's other shows and performances on TV, Lauren made sure to watch them all. It was a way to comfort herself when her girlfriend wasn't home.
She furrowed her brows when the show host said Camila had a new single to release.
"Tune in on IheartRadio at 7 pm to hear my new song." Camila smiled.
And at exactly 7 pm, Camila Cabello's song was released and it made millions of people cry.
It was the most heartbreaking song Camila ever sang and wrote.
The song was sang with sorrow and defeat.
And it made Lauren's heart pound, unlike the first song Camila made her, this pounding was different.
It was full of fear.
The fear of losing Camila.
Loving you, I thought I couldn't get no higher
Your November rain could set night on fire, night on fire
But we could only burn so long
Counterfeit emotions only run skin deep
Know you're lying when you're lying next to me, next to me
How did we get so far gone?
I should know by now, you should know by now
We should know by now
Something's gotta give, something's gotta break
But all I do is give and all you do is take
Something's gotta change, but I know that it won't
No reason to stay, is a good reason to go
Is a good reason to go
I have never heard a silence quite so loud
I walk in the room and you don't make a sound, make a sound
You're good at making me feel small
If it doesn't hurt me, why do I still cry?
If it didn't kill me, then I'm half alive
How did we get so far gone?
I should know by now, you should know by now
We should know by now
Something's gotta give, something's gotta break
But all I do is give and all you do is take
Something's gotta change, but I know that it won't
No reason to stay, is a good reason to go
Is a good reason to go
I should know by now, you should know by now
I think I'm breaking right now
I should know by now, you should know by now
I think I'm breaking right now
Something's gotta give, something's gotta break
But all I do is give and all you do is take
Something's gotta change, no I know that it won't
No reason to stay, is a good reason to go
Is a good reason to go
Something's gotta give
---
Legit though, I cried the first time I heard this song. And multiple times, Camila had confessed that she had cried in the middle and after recording SGG.