Youssef walked into their apartment and found his beautiful wife in the kitchen. He walked to where she was and kissed her cheek.
'Asalaam Alaikum beautiful.'
'Waalaikum salaam habibi, how was your day?'
'Well, long but Alhamdulillah.'
He had been training since in the afternoon and later went out for coffee with the boys, then masjid where Alhamdulillah he had the opportunity to help teach two classes and now he was exhausted. He had to sleep well because he had a match tomorrow, Sunday. So he went on telling her about how his day was and then he inquired about hers and he was glad to hear she had a good day at the hospital, as she was home early straight after work.
'You should have summoned me home your highness!' He joked.
'As if!'
'What? You think I wouldn't come?'
She nodded, well she never complained but sometimes she'd get jealous and annoyed when he was out with his friends, which was really impractical wanting him all for herself whenever they were off work.
'Hmmm, maybe you should try and summon me!' He joked as he hugged her.
She finished preparing their dinner as Youssef went to freshen up and change. He usually liked walking around in their house with shorts and she never got used to the view, each time her face heated up. Heck, she was very slow in adapting to this because he hardly wore a tshirt inside the house.
Youssef came and helped with the table. After dinner, they sat together while Aqsa watched her cooking channel. Now with Youssef , she was always learning new foods and with his diet requirements she was always looking forward to learning something new, she liked it even. Plus, Watching TV series was just out of the question, Youssef would lecture her about how they contained a lot of haram content like zina, music and all. As hard as it was for her to accept that, she learned how to. She knew it was only for her own good. So she sat there as he kept an arm around her.
'Come to the game tomorrow.' Youssef proposed.
Well, Aqsa had never gone to watch him. Whenever he'd have games, he'd go but she'd just stay with no interest whatsoever. Their matches weren't even aired on TV since it wasn't in the first league , so you wouldn't say she'd watch, not that she'd think about watching them. She didn't like football.
'Are you serious?' She asked completely surprised. Her eyebrows moving towards each other.
'Yes, I am.'
'I don't know anything about football Youssef. I'm really not interested.'
'Well there's always a start. It's not even about understanding the game, more of watching me.' He said.
'Youssef, it's your job, I don't ask you to come to mine! So just let it go. I'm really not interested in any of that.'
She just didn't want to go and spend all those hours in a crowd. She saw Youssef everyday at home and all. They'd hardly even see each other there, so what was the point. She didn't know anything about football so she wasn't going to go.
'Wow!'
Youssef stood up to leave. And she knew that was totally unnecessary for her to say but she just wanted to get it over with and she'd apologize for being rude later. Taking him for granted. But little did she know how deep it hurt him.
She couldn't watch the show anymore knowing what she had purposely done. How insensitive of her. People went to watch football, not everyone was allowed to enter surgery and watch. She was acting so immature. Maybe she should just compromise and ask him about it or anything. Sayeed went to support him whenever he could, why wouldn't she? She was his wife. Sayeed was just playing the role of brother in law although if she'd admit, they were quite the pair. Mashallah, Sayeed and Youssef were very fond of each other. They were always joking, meeting up and talking.
When she walked into their bedroom she found the lights off , well it was just 15 minutes since Youssef walked away and was he really asleep.
She walked towards their bed and joined him. His back towards her.
'Youssef!' She called.
And she tried again but he didn't respond. So she made an effort to move closer towards him and pulled his left arm. Wishing that her husband would turn to her with a smile on his face and hug her like he always did but he didn't. Now, she learned not to take him for granted. Youssef was always understanding and now she misused that.
'Go to sleep Aqsa!' He said not turning to look at her. His voice laced with irritation, it hurt her deeply. They'd have a misunderstanding and he'd apologize always. He'd always be the bigger person but not now. He was mad.
Regretting why she had said something so petty and mean. It wasn't hard to finish the conversation maturely but she ruined it. Like she always does. She thought.
She closed her eyes as a tear left her eye. She was rude. She laid in the dark overthinking everything. Youssef would have done it for her, he would have. But her? She wasn't half the person he was. Youssef was giving. He compromised. But what did she do?
It was almost 4am when she could finally sleep. After crying tears of regret and promising herself to be a better person. Her alarm for fajr went off and when she looked aside, Youssef was not around. She walked around in search for him but she figured he had gone to the masjid. She waited for him after Salah but he didn't come home and now it was sunrise and he still wasn't home. Really Youssef? Maybe you are overreacting. She thought. She just wanted to apologize but now he was completely ignoring her.
Youssef walked in for fajr and unlike Aqsa, he had made sure that he had good sleep because he knew he needed it today. Alhamdulillah he met his Papa at the masjid and after Salah he just decided to go with him.
'Is Aqsa at the hospital today?'
'No it's Sunday, she's home.' He tried masking his emotions.
'Then why aren't you going back home it's hardly 6am'
'Are you saying I'm not welcomed at my home?? I'm sure maman will be delighted to see me.'
'Hmmm...'
They drove off separately since everyone had come on their own to the masjid. When they reached the house, Youssef found his mother and Maryam reciting together. Maryam was now memorizing the Quran and their mother was listening to her before she went for her Quran lesson.
'Maman I'm so sleepy!' She complained, but when she saw Youssef she jumped in joy, her eyes searching for Aqsa too.
'Youssef!' They hugged and then he hugged his mother.
'Are you still sleepy now?' Umm Youssef mocked her.
'No. Maybe Youssef can help me now.'
'Okay I'll rest now then go prepare breakfast for all of you.'
'Youssef , where's my beautiful daughter?'
'Maman am I not your beautiful daughter?' Maryam asked dramatically.
'Ofcourse you are but Aqsa is too.'
'She's at home sleeping. It's her day off, so she sleeps in.' Youssef said casually hoping his mother would not suspect anything.
Well, to him he had the right to be mad at her. Or maybe at himself. He enjoyed his job, yes, but till when was he going to play for a small club. He gave everything to the game. He knew he was good. People told him he was good. Always. But why wasn't he getting an offer? He was mad at himself for his poor career. He saw himself as a failure despite the hardwork and one thing that he needed was a supportive wife but all he got was an insensitive rude reply. Maybe even she was frustrated with his dream. His mind had been swimming in the pools of negativity and it wasn't her fault, it wasn't her dream but it was her obligation to support him and she hadn't and that infuriated him. So he wanted to be with his family where things were perfect in his eyes.
So he went to his room, his bed was not made, no sheets nothing because he never used it anymore. He walked out in frustration to the sitting room and laid on the coach. His phone flooded with texts from Aqsa and missed calls. He always kept his phone on silent at the masjid and he had forgotten to turn the sound on after.
'Youssef habibi I'm sorry for being rude and insensitive'
'Youssef where are you?'
'Are you okay habibi?'
'Please come home!'
'Are you at your parents? Gym? (Wait you don't work out on match day) , masjid?'
'Youssef, I know that was childish of me but please tell me you are fine. I can barely live with you being mad at me but not knowing if you are okay, that's too much for me to handle! So please my love tell me you are okay!'
It was past 7am now and he didn't think she'll be worried. She knew he was mad at her, she shouldn't be expecting him to shower her with his presence and attention. She should just know that he didn't want to be there with her rightnow.
Aqsa was crying. Hot tears ran down her cheeks. Her voice breaking, the lump in her throat burning her, she felt as if someone was tugging at her heart. Her chest tightened as she cried and it made her sick to the stomach. It was something so small. So small and Youssef had take it to heart. We all say things we don't mean all the time, so what was the problem now? Youssef was being unreasonable. But was he okay? He always came back after Fajr and if he'd go to the gym he'd tell her. She was so worried that maybe something happened to him and the last time they spoke was an argument. They didn't tell each other how much they loved each other. They didn't .... and she sat there overthinking and crying praying that Youssef shows up at their doorstep or calls her back. Her phone beeped and she jumped to check her phone much to her disappointment it was a message from their group chat with Saffiyya and Ruqqaya.
'Youssef please!' She cried out.
Another beep and now she wanted to throw her phone if it was from anyone else. But it wasn't , it was Youssef.
'I'm fine.'
Now she could breath. He was fine. Although he still sounded mad, Atleast he was okay.
'Will you come home soon?'
She asked hoping he'd come back and she would apologize and kiss him and hug him. She craved to hug him.
But no reply came. Not in the next minutes nor the next hours. Youssef had completely ghosted.
After getting tired of blaming herself in her puffed eyes she texted back her young sisters. Maybe they could help lighten up her mood.
She started reading their group chats and how they were crying that they were bored and wished Aqsa was around at home to go out with them and have fun but she's now probably playing wifey preparing breakfast for Youssef and their endless hugs and how cute and annoying it was at the same time for them.
Little did they know that she wished he was around for her to play wifey. And she couldn't tell them to come over because what if Youssef came back? They had issues to solve and having people around when he's back would just make it hard.
' I miss you guys. I'll swing by this week after work in sha Allah. I miss Baba so much'
Aqsa decided to call Sayeed maybe he could make this better.
After greetings and a little teasing from Sayeed she asked.
'Habibi are you going to watch Youssef today?'
'Yeah, in sha Allah.'
'What time are you going?'
'Since kickoff is at 5pm, I'll go around 4:30 immediately after Asr.'
'Can I come along? Or are you going with some friends?'
'Ohhh loook At her!!!!' Sayeed teased.
'Come on!'
'I'll pick you up at 3:30pm so we pray at a nearby mosque. The other brothers usually drive by themselves.'
'Okay thank you habibi.'
Now she had to pray that her eyes would go back to normal so she got in bed again and slept.
In the car ride with Sayeed she started remembering the day they went to Youssef's house for the first time. How their eyes locked. How mad he had been and yet things went well, she was hoping it was the same this time or even better in sha Allah.
'Habibty you've never been to any of his matches?' Sayeed asked his eyes still on the road.
'No.'
'Ohh habibty, Youssef is absolutely gifted MashAllah. Such a joy to watch. He clears and tackles so well, he gets them to have a clean sheet most of the time.'
'I have no idea what you said but okay.'
'You dumb dumb! Ruqqaya would have been the perfect fix for Youssef then.' She wanted to throw Sayeed outside the window. Youssef with somebody else? Even in a joke, she didn't want to hear it. Especially now when they were fighting because she didn't like football.
'So basically a cleansheet is when your team doesn't concede a goal, since he plays as a Center back, he defends so clears the ball from the goal area and stuff.'
'So what color jersey are we cheering?' She asked
Sayeed bursted into laughter. He was laughing so much almost losing control of the steering wheel.
'You'll see at the stadium then we will know, but mostly they wear dark blue and white.'
Well much to her surprise she wasn't bored. The noise part she had to get used to. But otherwise it wasn't bad.
'Why isn't Youssef going to score?'
'Because he's a defender not an attacker.'
'Oh okay.'
And after the match Youssef would see his friends. The stadium wasn't that big so he could see them when they sat closer and he'd come to greet them. So today, he noticed Aqsa.
After greeting everyone he moved to Aqsa who just sat uncomfortably quiet.
'Salaam!' He said. Surprised to see her and if he was happy then he didn't show it. He treated her like a stranger and it hurt her so much. It was so painful she wanted to cry. If it were up to her she'd throw herself at him then and there and hug him as she let her tears out and cry her heart out. And Youssef saw all the emotions going through his wife.
'Waalaikum salaam, Mabrook.' She congratulated him on their win.
And he gave a tight smile as he walked away.
'Sayeed where will I meet him? I didn't even ask him that, since we are going home together.'
'Text him. He'll probably check his phone in the dressing room before he leaves.'
'My phone is dead.' She lied. Trying to avoid Youssef ignoring her texts.
'Okay then.'
And Alhamdulillah Sayeed talked to Youssef and when he was done, Sayeed walked Aqsa to where Youssef parked then he went to his own car.
Aqsa couldn't wait a minute longer. So when Sayeed walked away Aqsa closed the distance between her husband and her by hugging him. She cried in his chest not caring if anyone was around. She didn't want to let him go.
'Habibi I'm so sorry. Sorry for being mean and inconsiderate.'
Youssef didn't say anything he just broke their embrace, entered the car, drove them off towards their home.
'Youssef I'm sorry....' she started but he cut her off.
'It's not your fault!'
'What do you mean? It's all my fault. I should have just told you yes and came out there to support you and your dreams. Instead ......'
'It's okay. I just have things in my head and I needed you to hold me down. I wasn't exactly reacting only to your answer.'
'Do you want to talk about it?' She circled her arms around him.
'No!' He walked to the kitchen to fix himself something, he wasn't going to bother her but she insisted so he left her to it and walked to their bedroom.
When she was done fixing their meal, he joined her without a word. The silence was bothering her, she couldn't even enjoy the meal.
'Habibi.' Aqsa sat next to him. Her patience was crumbling down but now realizing that her man had issues he was dealing with alone, she had to go out of her way to help him.
'Please talk to me about it! I'm listening.'
'Aqsa, I feel like all of this is frustrating you. You are where you want to be with your job and you have a failing husband, you don't want to deal with this.'
He said, his concentration not on her.
'Youssef, I love you so much. You are my husband. You do everything for me, without me asking. You are always there for me before I realize that I need you, so yes maybe you feel like you are not making it outside, but you are winning as a man. You are perfect in my eyes, and I'm sure this is just a test of Sabr, you will be the best in what you do, don't let my insensitivity make you doubt yourself habibi. You will make it in shaAllah.' She said with tears in her eyes and Youssef's eyes were wet too. He pulled her into her arms as if she weighed nothing. Hugged her so tightly.
'Please remind me, whenever I forget and things are so tough around me, remind me of all of that baby.'
She nodded as she ran her fingers in his hair.
'We are all very lucky to have you habibi.'
And she meant what she was saying. Every single word.