Harry's hasn't answered any of my calls. I've called him 5 times and left 2 voicemails. It's nearly 1am now and I have to go back to school tomorrow. I can't afford to miss another day with testing just around the corner.
I'm going to try again later this afternoon but right now I'm exhausted. I plug my phone into the charger and lie down. I try to block out Ellie's snoring in the next room. I squeeze my eyes shut and pray Anne is okay.
I wake up a minute before my alarm is scheduled to go off. I brace myself for the noise but jump anyway. I hit the snooze button and lie back down. I really need to get up but I'm exhausted.
I groan when the overhead light turns on. "Oh sorry", I hear Ellie say. "Why aren't you awake?", she asks, sitting on my bed. I turn towards her, shielding my eyes. "I'm getting up. I'm just really tired", I say. "How late did you stay up trying to reach him?", she asks. "I went to sleep around 2am", I say.
"Leah", Ellie sighs. I shrug my shoulders, sitting up. My eyes are finally adjusted to the light. "Well I'll go make you something to eat, while you get ready", Ellie says. "Thanks", I smile. She stands and walks towards the stairs. "Bacon and toast okay with you?", she asks. "Yes", I nod. She walks down the stairs.
I push the blankets off and stand up. I stretch my arms and crack my knuckles, which is a bad habit of mine.
I running a little late now so I move quicker than usual. Ellie is ready, she just isn't dressed yet. She always gets up earlier than necessary.
Once my hair and makeup is done, I go downstairs to eat. As soon as I open my bedroom door the delicious smell overcomes me. I hurry down the stairs to eat.
Ellie stands by the counter, shoving a piece of bacon into her mouth. "Real good", she giggles, licking her finger. I roll my eyes and sit down on the bar stool.
She slides over a plate. "Thanks", I say, reaching for a piece of toast and some bacon. I eat quickly, not wanting to run late.
***
School drags out. I check my phone each period but see nothing. I understand that he's spending time with his mom, but he just.. abandoned me. He said he would call but he hasn't.
Someone taps my shoulder, surprising me. I jump slightly and turn around in my desk. "Sorry didn't mean to startle you", a boy I vaguely recognize says. He makes a face. "It's fine", I say simply. He holds out a pencil before me. "You dropped this", he smiles slightly. "Oh", I blush. At this point everything startles me and it's embarrassing.
I take the pencil from the boy. "Thanks", I smile. I turn back around without another word. I set the pencil on my desk.
Mr. Jennings then walks in. I slip my cell phone back into my book bag. AP English is one of the hardest subjects I've taken. I've never been good at English though.
When the final bell rings, I jump out of my seat. I want to find Harry. Mr Jennings stops me before I walk out the class. I jump slightly. I turn around, looking questionably at him. He hands me two pieces of paper with my name printed on them. "This is due tomorrow. If you were here yesterday you would have had more time", he sighs. "Oh", I nod. I quickly scan the paper. "Thanks", I say, walking out of the classroom.
He handed me instructions on how to write a four page essay on Shakespeare's "Macbeth". If this thing is due tomorrow I'm not going to have anytime to talk to Harry today. I'll be up all night doing this. We didn't even finish reading the play yet. I hold the paper tightly in my hands, walking towards the parking lot.
As I approach my car, I see Ellie waiting there. "Where were you?", she asks. "Mr. Jennings was giving me an assignment I missed yesterday, sorry", I say. She shrugs her shoulders.
I pull my keys out of my bag and unlock the door. Ellie slides in and I follow.
I drive home quickly. "Why are you in such a rush?", Ellie asks. "I want to go find Harry but I have this dumb essay due tomorrow", I say. She looks at me questionably. "I think I'm going to skip school again tomorrow. Maybe Mr. Jennings will give me at least half credit because I wasn't at school and I can just do the essay tomorrow", I blabber. Ellie smiles and nods. I probably sound crazy because this is so unlike me.
When I pull into my driveway I check my phone. Harry still hasn't responded. I drop it back into my bag and step out of the car. Ellie trails behind me, typing into her phone. "Ooh Louis wants me to go over to his place", she winks.
I roll my eyes, unlocking the front door. "You can't take my car, I need it", I say. "I'm not. He's picking me up", she says, skipping into the house. "Oh", I say, walking inside.
I throw my bag down on the floor and go to the kitchen. I pour myself a glass of water, sipping slowly. "He's probably at his mom's place or the hospital", Ellie says. I place the glass down. "I don't know", I shrug my shoulders.
I don't want to invade his privacy, I'm just really worried. I want to make sure he's okay. I want to make sure Anne and Gemma are okay.
"Just keep calling him or go to the hospital and see if he is there", Ellie suggests. "I will", I say, taking another sip of the water.
I then hear a little ding coming from the living room. I glance at Ellie and she points to my book bag. "Go see", she says. I finish off the water and walk towards my bag. I dig inside for my phone. I see a text from Harry.
H: Call me. I'm sorry.
I have called, many times. I write back "okay". I wait a moment before hitting the call button. Ellie has left. I think she went upstairs. What do I ask him? I don't want to upset him by talking about his mom.
Before I can think about it anymore i press the call button. I place the phone to my ear. He answers on the second ring.
"Leah?", his voice is somewhat muffled. "Hey", I say slowly. "Hey", he says. There is an awkward silence. "I'm sorry I didn't answer your calls and I'm sorry I pushed you away so suddenly yesterday", he sighs. I take a deep breath. "It's fine you are here now", I say. "Yeah", he sighs again.
"I want to see you. Can you meet me at my apartment?", he says suddenly. "Oh you're at your apartment? I thought you'd be with your mom", I say, cautiously. "I was earlier", he says firmly. "I'll tell you everything if I can see you", his voice is weak, as if he's been yelling. "Yes. I'll come right now", I say. I hear him swallow. "Thank you", he says, hanging up.
I rest my head back onto the couch. Ellie stomps down the stairs in a different outfit. I glance at her. "Did you talk to him?", she asks. "Yeah", I say. "What did he say?", she questions. "He wants me to go to his apartment and talk with him", I say, shrugging my shoulders. "Oh", she says. She checks her watch. "Louis should be here soon. Tell me what happens tomorrow", she says. I nod, standing up.
A horn honks as if on command. "That's him", she giggles. She fluffs her hair in the mirror. "See ya", she says, walking out the front door.
I grab my book bag from the floor and take it to my room. I place it by my bed and grab my purse off of my desk. I quickly look into the mirror, pushing the hair off of my face. I spray a squirt of perfume on, then leave my room.
I walk down the stairs slowly. I write a note for my dad just incase he comes home later tonight. I'm not sure when I'll be home. I grab my keys off of the coffee table and head out.
***
I flip open the visor and look at my reflection. I should have put more mascara on. My cheeks are rosy from the cold. I really shouldn't be worried about my appearance right now. I shut the visor and step out into the frigid air. It's in the 50s right now temperature wise so it could be colder, but I'd much rather it be warmer.
I put my hands into my pockets and walk up towards Harry's door. When I reach it I knock twice then I hear something odd. I hear what sounds like..moaning? I immediately think the worst case scenario. My heart beat accelerates. Oh god please no. I'm about to run back to my car when the door opens.
Harry stands shirtless in the doorway. The moans continue. I can't help but run into his arms, thanking God my initial assumption was wrong. He immediately wraps his arms around me and I lean into his warm chest.
I pull back, slightly embarrassed. Harry can tell I'm somewhat frazzled. "I don't want to just walk in there and stop them", Harry laughs. I'm confused at first but then it dawns on me. Niall. I cover my mouth in disgust and utter embarrassment.
He laughs. Why would he even make me come over here if thats going on? To make me uncomfortable? "I don't want to but I will because you look really disgusted right now", he laughs again. I stand motionless in the doorway, trying to block out the vulgar words I hear.
Harry pulls me inside, closing the door behind me. I sit at the barstool. He lightly touches my shoulder before stomping towards the source of the noise. He opens the door without any warning. I hear a girl scream. I cover my mouth. "Can you two shut the fuck up. I need to have a serious conversation with my girlfriend and she's very uncomfortable right now", he yells. I want to laugh but the word "girlfriend" makes my heart skip a beat.
Niall yells something back that I can't quite hear. Harry slams the door and turns to me, a wide grin on his face. He bends over in laughter. "You should have seen their faces", he laughs. "That poor girl must be so embarrassed", I say without thinking, which causes him to laugh harder. I blush slightly, but can't help but giggle.
"That was a good laugh", he chuckles, waking towards me. "You could have given me a warning before I showed up", I say. "Well they weren't going at it when I called you", he laughs. I shrug my shoulders.
I need to change the subject. I need to talk to him about Anne. He seems fine but I really want to know. "Harry..", I start, my tone becoming more serious. He knows what's coming.
"Harry what happened with your mom? That's why I'm here, to talk to you", I say. He grabs at his lips. "Um..", he starts. "Can we go talk in my room?", he asks, the weaker side of his voice coming out. I nod, getting up from the barstool.
I follow him into his room. He flicks on the light. I sit down in the chair by his desk. He sits on his bed, after closing the door. He takes a deep breath.
He gets straight to the point. "Her cancer is back. Well it never really left. It's moved all throughout her body and she's refusing treatment", he swallows hard. I cover my mouth. Oh god. "I feel like a dick talking to you about this, you know because of what happened to.. your mum", he looks at the ground.
"Harry..I", I start. My mom is gone. She took her own life and I've somewhat come to accept that. Harry is losing his mother to a disease that is taking over her body. "Why won't she get treatment?", I ask, ignoring his remark about my mom. He rubs his temple. "It's a lot on her body. She thinks it will kill her before the cancer does. I think she's right", he sighs.
The room falls silent. Niall and that girl are done with what they were doing. I fiddle with a broken piece of the chair.
"How do you feel Harry?", I ask because I don't know what else to say. "I feel like shit. I feel horrible for thinking it's her own damn fault for not getting her breasts removed", he frowns. I swallow hard. "I don't want to lose my mum. I wanted to forgive her for what she did to me", he confesses. What did she do?
Harry picks at his finger nail. I'm not sure if I should ask him what she did.
"I will be okay though. It's Gemma I worry about", he sighs, looking up at me. I stand from the chair and sit on the bed beside him. I grab his hand and rest my head onto his bare shoulder. "I'm here for you Harry", I whisper to him.
He looks down at me, squeezing my hand. "How are you still here after all I've done?", he questions, somewhat amazed. I look at him, the answer popping into my head instantly. I won't say it though, so I say, "I just am". He sighs and presses his lips to the top of my head.
"Harry, can I ask you what she did?", I muster. I can't help it, I really want to know. I sit up so I can look at him.
"She.. abandoned me", he murmurs. "She took Gemma with her and left me all alone", he frowns. I squeeze his hand harder, trying to show comfort.
"I was only ten years old. I was going through a really rough patch and she didn't care. She wanted nothing to do with me. She thought I was a bad kid. She scolded me and hit me constantly. She even told me she wished I wasn't born", he pauses. "I was fucking ten", he says through his teeth.
"My dad left her when I was five and moved to the states. I don't blame him. I mean he's a shit dad but he wasn't nearly as bad as she was", his grip on my hand is starting to hurt but I don't pull away.
She was always so kind to Gemma. She did anything for her. Gemma tried to talk to her about how she treated me but my mum would just ignore her", he says.
"Well after she left I was put into a child's care facility where they contacted my dad. I got a passport and moved here with my dad. He wasn't happy about it but he really had no other choice", he swallows hard. His grip relaxes slightly.
" When I found out she had cancer, a couple years back, I went back to London to see her. She apologized for everything she did but it wasn't enough. Leah you can't even imagine the pain of your mother just straight up leaving you like tha..", he stops and his face goes pale. My heart sinks in my chest. "I'm so sorry I..", he starts. "It's okay Harry, really", I nod.
He covers his face. "I'm such a fucking idiot", he groans. "Harry stop. No you aren't. It's okay", I squeeze his hand in assurance. My chest aches. "Go on", I say. He purses his lips but continues.
"Ever since then she's been contacting me for my birthday. I talked to Gemma a lot, I think that's why we are so close now. They started coming over to the states two years ago. This is the third time they've been", he sighs.
I bring my legs up towards me and hug my knees. "I'm so sorry Harry", I say. I hold back the urge to kiss him. "No I'm sorry I..", he starts. "Harry I asked. It's okay". He nods.
I wrap my arms around him and bury my face into his hair. "Can you stay here tonight?", he asks. "I know you have school but I'll help you make up whatever you need", he says. "I was going to miss school anyway but what about you? Tomorrow will be your third day out", I say into his hair. He smells so good.
"I'll be fine. I've missed two weeks before and made everything up. I'm smarter than I look", he teases. "Alright I will", I say gladly. I love being with him. I don't mind staying at all. "Good", he says, kissing my cheek.
"Do you want something to eat?", he asks, looking at the clock. It's nearly 7pm. I didn't realize how long we've been talking. "Sure", I say, bringing my arms to my side.
He sits up and stretches. The muscles in his back moving. I blush slightly when he notices me staring.
"C'mon", he chuckles, holding out his hand. I grab it and follow him out of the room.
I try to push away the pain in my chest. God, I miss my mom. We've both been through so much and now Harry's going to lose his mom too.
Niall sits, shirtless on the couch. He flicks Harry off when he sees him. "Fuck you man", he says. His eyes meet mine and he blushes, looking away. Harry laughs and leads me into the kitchen.
"Okay we don't have much to eat but you can look", he shrugs his shoulders. I let go of his hand to open the refrigerator. I grab a bottle of water. He motions for me to grab him one as well. "Niall you need some water? You sounded like you were working up a sweat earlier", Harry teases.
Niall's face turns bright red and he throws a cushion at Harry. I can't help but giggle. Harry bends over in laughter. It's good to see him this way compared to how he was minutes ago.
I dig through the cabinet for something to eat. Harry pulls out a frozen pizza from the freezer. "Pizza?", he asks. I close the cabinet. There doesn't seem to be anything else. "Sure", I smile. I try to keep my eyes off of his chest but it's nearly impossible.
He leans over to put the pizza in the oven, after unwrapping it. The curve of his backside makes me breathless. I look away when he stands.
"Shouldn't be to long", he grins. "Wanna watch some tv while we wait?", he questions. "Mmhmm", I hum. He wipes his hands off on his pants, before putting his arm around my shoulder.
We walk into the living room and sits down. Niall shifts uncomfortably. I smile at him to tell him it's fine but it just causes him to blush again. Niall throws Harry the remote and goes off to his room.
"Harry he's so embarrassed", I say with a laugh. "Not my fault. He shouldn't be banging random girls here anyway", he smirks. I shake my head disapprovingly.
He surfs through the channels, while drawing small circles, with his finger, on my clothed shoulder. I lean my head back and watch the show he picks. It's some kind of police show. "I don't know, nothing else is on", he licks his lips.
We watch the show silently until the oven dings. Harry takes his arm off of my shoulder to get the pizza. I follow him into the kitchen. I take two plates off of the counter and put them on the table. I grab my water bottle and sit down.
"Ah shit", Harry curses. I look over the counter to see what happened. "That's hot", he laughs. "I would think so", I tease. He scrunches up his nose at me, causing me to giggle.
He walks over with two oven mitts on and places the pan on the table. "There we go", he says. He tears the mitts off, throwing them to the side. "Why do we own those?", he says with a laugh.
I take a slice of pizza and put in on my plate. "Want my pepperoni? I don't like them", I say, picking them off of my pizza slice. "Sure", he says. I place them on his plate.
I take a bite of the pizza, savoring the cheesy taste. "Not bad for a frozen pizza", Harry says, as if reading my thoughts. I nod, agreeing.
We eat in silence until Niall walks out of his room, fully clothed. "I'm going over to Liam's. Catch you guys later", he says. He squints at Harry, causing him to laugh. "Bye", I wave to Niall. He waves quickly and runs out the front door.
"Poor guy, I did embarrass him huh?", Harry smirks. "Yeah", I say, before taking a sip of water.
We talk for awhile about nonsense things, before I look at the clock. It's around 9pm. Between Harry and I the pizza is gone now. "Wow I'm full", Harry says, laughing. "Me too", I giggle. I reach into my purse for a mint to suck on. I pop one into my mouth.
Harry bites his lip and looks at me mischievously. "What?", I question. He smirks, "Why a mint?" "Because I didn't want pizza breath?", it's not meant to come out as a question. "Are you sure it wasn't because you thought you'd be kissing me?", his tone changes. His face becomes serious and my stomach flips.
I finish off the mint and my cheeks redden. "Like this maybe", he leans towards me, pecking my lips. "I..", I start. The muscles in his arms ripple as he holds himself up on the table. I swallow hard.
"Or like this", he kisses me again, more passionate this time. When I kiss him back he pulls me into the standing position. "Or like this", I say surprising myself, pushing my tongue into his mouth. Oh god what has come over me.
"Fuck", Harry curses into my mouth. The mood has changed completely within the matter of seconds. He kisses me hard, squeezing my waist. I break away from him for a moment and look into his eyes. His eyes are a deeper shade of emerald. Before I can get a closer look, he kisses me again, making my knees weak.
He pulls me up towards him so he's caring me. I wrap my legs around his waist and he groans. This is happening. Oh god.
He continues to kiss me, as he walks towards his bedroom door. He pushes me against the door, kissing me harder. He stops only to say, "fuck, I want you".
He fiddles with the doorknob until he gets it open. I groan when he moves his lips to my collar bone, sucking there.
He gently places me onto the bed. He stops to look at me for a moment, asking for permission to continue. My heart hammers in my chest. I nod.
It's all so sudden but this is happening. I actually want this to happen.
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Okkk so i updated yay! I went to the WWA concert last weekend and that's why I couldn't update earlier! It was so much fun! Okay so things definitely took a twist at the end here haha. Don't forget to vote and comment! xx