Chapter Eleven
The recording process for the second album was stressful. There was a lot of talk about the "sophomore slump" and it was important to the band that they didn't fall into that cycle. They wanted every album to matter. Demi was also extremely distracted throughout the process and no one knew why.
She missed several recording and writing sessions without specifying why. She'd email me that she had an appointment and we wouldn't hear from her until the next day. It was frustrating and I was honestly worried about her. When she actually showed up, you could tell her mind was elsewhere. Ruby was back in Australia because of work commitments which meant Demi was alone.
I used my key to get into her hotel room. She always gave me a spare. They all did. I was involved in so many aspects of their lives, it just made it easier. I heard the shower running when I stepped inside. I noticed some paperwork sitting on the coffee table. I looked at the documents and almost gasped. It was custody paperwork. She was taking Dylan, her ex to court. She wanted Brooklyn.
I jumped when I heard her phone go off. I knew what I was doing was a complete invasion of privacy, but I didn't care. I unlocked her phone and read through her text messages. My heart sunk when I realized they were from her lawyer. She didn't win and there was nothing more she could do. The last message was an apology.
I put the phone down when I heard the water stop running. I sat on the bed and waited for her to come out of the bathroom. When she opened the door and saw me sitting there, she didn't look the least bit surprised.
"You don't have to tell me twice." She joked.
Her smile didn't quite reach her eyes.
"Hey." I said softly.
"What's up Sel?" She asked as she walked over to the closet.
She looked tired.
"I'm worried about you. We all are."
My breath caught in my chest when she let the towel fall to floor. I sat in silence and watched as she dressed.
"I'm fine." She sighed.
"Are you?" I challenged.
"No. But I will be."
She turned around and walked toward me. Once again, I felt my breath catch.
"You wanna...uh...talk about it?" I fumbled.
"You already know." She said softly.
"How did..."
"Your eyes Sel. It's in your eyes." She interrupted gently. "You'd be a terrible spy."
She climbed into the bed and laid down.
"Are you mad?" I asked.
"No."
I turned toward her and leaned back against the pillows.
"I'm sorry."
"I know." She breathed as she settled next to me.
We laid side by side and just stared at each other in silence. Instinctively, I reached out and pushed a strand of her errant blue hair behind her ear. As I laid there with her, I felt myself drifting. I lost myself in the depths of her eyes. I was vaguely aware of her hand as she rested it on my hip. I felt myself leaning in. I wanted my lips on hers.
Her phone rang and it startled me causing me to flinch. She quickly sat up and answered it. My heart was hammering in my chest. If it wasn't for that phone call, I would have kissed her.
She stood and walked outside to the balcony. It was Ruby. I knew it was her because of the way Demi's face lit up when she answered the phone. I felt jealous. I wanted to be the reason she smiled.
It didn't take long for the guilt to wash over me. Nick. I had Nick. He was a loving and faithful boyfriend, then there was me. I had the hots for the chick that played guitar is in his band. Actually, I wasn't even sure if that was even the case. I'd never had an attraction to another woman. This was new territory for me. I was also completely certain that I was in love with Nick.
"Sorry." She smiled as she stepped back into the room. "I had to take that."
"How is she?" I asked, referring to Ruby.
"She's good. Busy and she misses me, but she's doing good."
She had a curious look in her eyes. The room suddenly felt smaller.
"I should get going." I said slowly.
"Probably." She said as she folded her arms across her chest.
She was the first to move. She had the door opened before I manage to even be able to take a step. I wanted to go, but I wanted to stay. I wanted to stay and find the answers to the questions that were burning in her eyes. I had never seen her like this. She was open and vulnerable.
I somehow convinced my legs to move toward the door. Her eyes followed me the entire distance. I felt her fingers close around my wrist as I made it to the doorway. Her grasp was firm, but gentle. I swallowed as I once again for what felt like the millionth time that night, felt my heart hammering in my chest.
She brought her arms around my waist and pulled me close. Instinctively, my arms snaked around her neck and I hugged her back.
"Thank you." She whispered in my ear. "This means a lot to me."
"Get some rest." I said softly, before pulling away from her embrace.
She gave me a half smile and I turned and walked away.
"Selena." She said loud enough to catch my attention. "Thank you."
She disappeared and closed the door before I could respond. I left the hotel feeling even more confused than before. I felt dizzy and breathless. It wouldn't be the last time she left me struggling to breath.
There would be three separate occasions that Demi would knock the wind out of me. The first time would be one of the scariest moments of my life. The second time, would be one of the happiest moments of my life. The third time would completely destroy my life.
***
Nick and I arrived at the studio to find Demi already set up with a notepad and pencil. She had headphones over her ears and she was wearing glasses. She looked adorable as she concentrated on whatever she was writing down on the paper. She glanced up and smiled as soon as she noticed us walk through the door.
"Hey Dem." Nick greeted her as he sat next to her on the couch.
"Hey." She replied.
Her voice was raspy and she sounded a little sleepy.
"New song?" Nick asked as he glanced at the note pad in her hands.
"Yeah." She answered. "Wanna look?"
"Of course."
He moved closer to her and they both looked over the song. I noticed how they both instantly shut out everything and focused on the words written on the sheet of paper. It was weird to me the way they could finish each others thoughts. They wrote some of the most amazing songs together.
Nick grabbed Demi's guitar and started to play several different chords. I watched as she then took the instrument and played the exact same thing had, but then added to it. He nodded his head and smiled at her. She started to sing softly and I felt my stomach flutter.
"That's perfect." Nick said while Demi continued playing.
"It's about time you showed up." Joe said with a slight edge to his voice as he walked in.
He was talking to Demi.
"Dude..." Nick interjected. "Don't start. She's here now and we've got work to do."
"Besos." Demi replied sarcastically to Joe.
He just grumbled and picked up his guitar.
Matt and Johnny walked in a few minutes later. It took a few for everyone to get settled and then they all made their way into the rehearsal space. They started playing and bouncing ideas off each other. It was always interesting to me at how they were able to write together this way. It seemed chaotic and stressful to me, but to them it was pure bliss.
They always put in long hours when they recorded. There were nights Nick didn't leave the studio. He and Demi would be there all night long writing and recording. Out of the five of them, those two worked the hardest. It was something that would become glaringly apparent as time passed. Especially for Demi.
***
After about the third straight week of recording I noticed that three of them started to shift their focus. I was shocked when I walked into the studio to find Demi, Johnny, Joe and some random chicks drinking and doing cocaine. Joe was in the middle of a line when I walked in. No one paid me much attention. Matt seemed indifferent to the entire situation and Nick looked extremely irritated.
"What is this?" I asked Nick in a low voice.
"I don't think you need me to state the obvious Sel." He sighed. "They've been at it all morning."
"Have you gotten any work done?"
"Yes. Which is why I'm not having a fit right now. It's just...I don't agree." He said carefully.
"Say something then." I suggested.
"It's not my place." He shrugged.
I found his lack of action to be quite irritating.
"Sel!" Johnny interrupted. "Come here!"
"If you think I'm doing cocaine off some random whores ass, you're sadly mistaken." I said as I gave every single female in the room a death glare.
"Nah." He laughed. "I figured you could do it off my ass."
I rolled my eyes as he and Demi both laughed loudly. The girls that accompanied them seemed intimidated by me.
"Lena." Demi said, her voice low and husky. "Be nice."
"Nice?" I questioned. "That was me being nice."
"Someone is a little cranky today." Joe remarked before taking a long pull form the bottle of whiskey.
"If I remember correctly, I was under the impression that two out of the three of you were in relationships with women who actually have jobs, ambitions, and class." I reminded them as the three unwelcome women looked at me completely shocked.
I hated groupies and it was no secret. I was never nice to them and I never made them feel welcome or comfortable. It was a well known fact in the fan base. I called bullshit when I saw it.
"Lets get the girls out of here and get some work done." Matt said breaking through the tension in the room.
"Alright ladies, you heard the man." Johnny smiled. "Time to go."
"Ladies?" I said with a sarcastic laugh. "More like hood rats."
"Sel." Nick sighed. "Stop."
"You're on a good one today." Demi smirked.
I felt like smacking her upside the head, but resisted. I was classy. Classy women didn't hit.
"It's better than a coke and hooker binge." I shrugged.
"Sel!" Johnny laughed. "They're not hookers!"
"That's a matter of opinion." I said nonchalantly.
"Ouch." Joe laughed.
The women quickly cleared out of the studio. Without giving it second thought, I walked over to the coffee table and gathered up the drugs and booze. Johnny watched me with a curious look on his face as I threw everything in the trash. Demi on the other hand didn't look pleased.
"What the fuck?" She questioned.
"Is there a problem?" I shot back.
"That wasn't yours to toss." She said slowly.
I could tell she was mad.
"Are you a junkie or a musician?"
"Fuck you!" She snapped.
"No, fuck you Demi."
"Oh no." She laughed sardonically. "I insist."
"Will you both just knock it off." Matt interrupted.
"Seriously." Joe sighed. "It's getting old.
"Excuse me?" I said as I glared at Joe. "Me caring about your health is getting old?"
"Sel....you know what I meant." He said as he ran his hand through his messy hair.
"Really? How about you enlighten me?"
I folded my arms across my chest as I awaited his response.
"This is bullshit." Demi huffed. "I'm out." She added as she grabbed her jacket and left.
They spent the rest of the day recording without her. I on the other hand, spent the entire day worried about her. She wasn't answering her phone or any of the texts I sent. After several hours of trying to contact her, I gave up. She was being unreasonable and childish.
After several hours of recording Joe and Johnny were exhausted and went home to sleep off their hangovers. I sat and waited for Matt and Nick to finish.
"Matt and I are gonna work on a couple more things." Nick said softly as I grabbed my purse and jacket.
"That's fine." I yawned. "I'm going home and going to bed."
Nick leaned in and kissed me before pulling me in for a hug. I felt him let out a content sigh as he held me. I closed my eyes and melted into his embrace.
"I won't be too late. I love you." He smiled.
"Love you too." I responded. "Good night Matt." I said to the vocalist as I made my exit.
"Night Sel." He called out as the door slowly closed.
***
I was vaguely aware of the harsh buzzing sound on my nightstand. I ignored it until I realized it was persistent. I shot up slightly confused as my eyes adjusted to the dark. I reached for my phone and in my clumsy half asleep state, dropped it in between the bed and the night stand.
"Motherfucker!" I grumbled out loud.
After fumbling around for what felt like an eternity, I finally managed to retrieve my phone. It was still vibrating. I checked the caller ID and braced myself. It was Val.
"Sel!" She said loudly when I answered.
She sounded panicked.
"Yeah." I breathed. My voice was raspy. "What's up?"
"Thank fucking god!" Val exclaimed. "It's Demi."
My mouth went dry.
"What happened."
"She was arrested for aggravated assault, possession of a controlled substance, and DUI about two hours ago. LAPD picked her up on Sunset. TMZ is all over it. It's bad too. She's done lost her fucking mind."
"Fuck me." I sighed. "Did she post bail?"
"Nope. She's still chillin in lockup. They won't release her until she sobers up. Natalie is already doing damage control, but..."
"Why didn't she call me?" I interrupted.
"She did Sel. Like a million times. You wouldn't answer. She asked me to keep calling you so she could handle shit."
"Fuck fuck fuck." I said as the stress started to creep up. "Do the guys know?"
"Just Matt."
"Ok. Call Nat and tell her I'm on my way. Tell her not to talk to anyone!"
"Ok." She responded. Her tone was gentle. "Sel..."
"Yeah?" I said, clearly overwhelmed.
"Take it easy on her."
I hung up without responding.