Chapter 15
Mabilis ang aking paghinga. Ang sakit na tumutusok sa aking dibdib ay biglang nagliyab. All of a sudden, the pain of the past punched me straight into the face.
"There." I breathed out. My lips trembled. "I finally said it."
Nakatitig lamang sa akin si Sage. Hindi ko mabasa ang ekspresiyon ng kaniyang mukha.
"What did you just said?" he asked in a silent voice. Kinuha niya ang aking kamay at marahan akong hinila pabalik kung saan nakaparada ang kaniyang Wrangler. I weakly followed him.
"Mallory . . ." binitawan niya ang aking kamay. His eyes searched for my eyes. "Baby, what did you just said?"
Tears started streaming down my face. "Sage . . . Your mother killed my mother."
Mapaklang tumawa si Sage. "T-That can't be true. Hindi magagawa iyon ni mommy—"
"But she already did!" I yelled at his face. "The night when we were supposed to meet at the terminal, a man shot my mother in the forest! He planned to kill me as well!"
I grab both of his shoulders and shook him. "Your mother tried to kill us, Sage! Hindi mo ba ako naiintindihan?"
"Mallory . . ." Sage reluctantly took a step away from me. Iniling-iling niya ang kaniyang ulo. "I . . . I didn't know any of this. You must be confused, baby. Walang kinalaman ang mommy ko sa pagkamatay ni Mrs. Castillo."
"Fuck!" naisabunot ko ang aking mga palad sa aking buhok. Iilan sa mga trabahor ng planta ay napalingon sa aming direksiyon. Puno ng kuryosidad ang kanilang mga mata.
"Mal . . ."
"Don't call me that!" I screamed at him. "You know why I fled to Japan and planned to stay there for good? Ayaw na kitang makita pa! Your face reminds me of how cruel your family had been to us. Walang ginawa ang aking ina sa inyo! Pero ano? Your mother ordered to kill us!"
"I'm going to talk to my mother about this—"
"Huwag na, Sage. If you prove that your mother really killed my mother, what good would it do to me? To us?" pinalis ko ang mga luhang tumatakas mula sa aking mga mata. "Wala na tayo. There could never be an us anymore especially after what happened. The damage is irreparable, Sage."
"Mal, baby, please—"
Mabilis kong winaksi ang kaniyang kamay. A hurt expression bled on his face. Kumirot lang lalo ang aking puso sa nakita.
"S-Sage . . ." umiling-iling ako. "Please . . . Huwag mo na akong pahirapan pa. Please, let me go. I can't be with you. Even if we start a new life again, the death of my mother will hunt me forever. Hindi ko kayang maging maligaya sa tabi mo, Sage."
"Mal . . . please don't say that." My heart broke upon hearing the crack on his voice as if he's on the verge of tears. He hung his head low on the ground with his shoulders limp. "Please . . ."
Mas lalong bumuhos ang aking mga luha sa kaniyang boses. Tigagal ko siyang tinitigan habang humahagulhol.
"Why are you doing this to me?" I sobbed. "You're making it hard for the both of us."
"I need you, Mallory." Hinawakan ni Sage ang aking kamay at pinilit na pagtagpuin ang mga mata namin. "You're right. I won't give a fuck about my past. Or what my mother did to you. I know I can never forgive her but please . . . I don't want to lose you again."
Umiling-iling ako at kumalas sa kaniyang hawak. "Please understand me. I don't want to see your face again."
"But Mallory—"
He tried to take a step but I held my palms high. "And don't you dare follow me!"
Walang nagawa si Sage kung hindi ang panuorin akong tumakbo papalayo sa kaniya. I stumbled my way out of there with tears blurring my vision. Tumakbo ako nang tumakbo sa kanilang malawak na palayan habang umiiyak nang malakas. I wanted to curse the world for doing this to me. I wanted to run back to Sage but I know I can't.
Instead, I force myself to run until I could no longer breathe. Huminto ako at hinabol ang aking hininga. Hindi ko na siya matanaw maging ang planta. The gloomy clouds loomed above my head. Nagbabadya ang isang malakas na ulan.
Nagpatuloy ulit ako sa pagtakbo nang mahimashimasan. Hindi na pamilyar ang aking dinaraanan pero ang importante'y makalayo muna ako kay Sage. Gusto kong mapag-isa na muna.
When the rain poured heavily, I quickly scanned the surroundings. Nakita ko ang isang lumang waiting shed sa hindi kalayuan. Kaagad akong tumakbo papunta roon.
An old woman with a long skirt sat silently on the metal bench.
"M-Makikisilong po sana ako . . ." mahina kong tugon sa kaniya.
She nodded at me but her eyes were staring into nothing. When she lifted her head, I was surprised to see her familiar face. She was the fortune teller from before. Only she'd gotten really old this time.
"Magpahinga ka muna, alam kong pagod ka."
I stood there, stunned, for a few seconds, before the cold started seeping deep into my bones. Humakbang ako at naupo din sa bench na giniginaw.
I kept on stealing glances from her. Can she still recognize me?
"May nakikita ka bang dilaw na sasakyan sa malapit, hija?" bigla nitong tanong sa akin.
"P-Po?"
"Kanina pa kasi ako naghihintay dito sa aking anak."
I stared at her with an unbelievable expression on my face. She's still staring blankly into nothing.
She's blind?
"Ah," iginala ko ang aking paningin para hanapin ang sasakyang kaniyang tinutukoy. "Wala po akong nakikita."
She nodded her head. "I guess I have to wait for a little bit more."
I rubbed my palms on both my arms to at least radiate heat from my body. Sobrang lakas ng buhos ng ulan na para bang nanunuya sa akin.
"You were right." Hindi ko mapigilan ang sarili kong sabihin sa kaniya. Nilingon ko siya. "You were right on everything you said about me."
Tumango siya. "It hurts, isn't it?"
My lips trembled again.
"It was horrible, really. My mother didn't deserve to die." Isinubsob ko ang aking mukha sa mga palad at napahagulhol. Nanatiling nakaupo ang babae sa aking tabi.
She tipped her head a little and a ghost of smile appeared on her lips when a raindrop touched her cheeks.
"I'm actually glad to lose my eyesight. Being able to see someone's future is amazing yet terrifying. I've seen enough in my life."
Nagulat ako nang maramdaman ang kaniyang malamig na kamay sa akin. Nakatingin pa rin siya sa kawalan.
"I am sure that wherever your mother is right now, she's proud of what you've become. It's just a phase, child. You'll get through it. Dienna is proud of you."
Kumunot ang aking noo. "How did you know my mother—"
"My son is here." Bigla siyang tumayo. Sakto namang paghinto ng isang dilaw na Volkswagen sa aming harapan. A tall guy hurriedly climbed out of the car and hastily opened an umbrella. "I should go."
I blinked. The guy nodded at me and guided his mother inside the car. Pagkatapos ay tinawag niya ako sa gitna ng malakas na ulan.
"Gusto mo bang ihatid na kita sa inyo?"
Iniling ko ang aking ulo. "I'm fine here."
Tumango ulit siya at pumasok sa kaniyang sasakyan. Saka niya ito pinaandar. Sinundan ko ng tingin ang papalayong sasakyan at ang misteryosong babae na hanggang ngayon ay hindi ko pa rin alam kung ano ang kaniyang pangalan.
---
Mag aalas singko na nang hapon nang tuluyang huminto ang ulan. Natuyo na ang aking damit sa tagal nang aking inilagi sa waiting shed. Naglakad ako pabalik sa aming bahay nang wala sa isip.
When I spotted Sage sitting on our front porch with his head shoved into his palms, I immediately halted. Bago pa man niya maiangat ang kaniyang tingin ay dali-dali akong umatras at nagtago mula sa kaniyang paningin.
I can't talk to him right now. Not when I still can't process what's happening inside of me. Litong-lito pa ako ngayon. I only know one thing and it's the fact that Sage and I could never be together.
Dinukot ko ang aking cellphone mula sa bulsa ng aking suot na bestida. Buti na lamang at nai-on ko pa ito matapos madampian ng tubig kanina.
I tried to keep my tears at bay as I dialed a number. After a few rings, Gideon picked up the phone.
"Mallory?"
"Gid . . ." nanginginig ang aking boses. Muli kong nilingon si Sage. Naghihintay pa rin siya. I heaved a sigh. "I want to go home, Gid. Please, help me to go home."
"You're going back to Japan?" hindi makapaniwalang tanong niya sa akin.
"Yes. Right now."