A/N: Whelp, guess who's back? :)))
Classes start tomorrow, so once I have my regular routine, I will post a update schedule. For now, I can promise I'll try to post during the weekend. If I have extra time, I'll try to slip in another update. ;) Enjoy!
-M
Y/N's POV
"You're not trying hard enough."
His words ran through my mind with each punch that hit the bag attached to the ceiling. I gritted my teeth as I struck it harder and harder, so desperate to prove him wrong.
"Toughen up, sweetheart. They won't go easy on you like I will."
Tears brimmed at the corners of my eyes, but I fought them back as I continued my routine. Usually, it started with training with Bucky Barnes. He worked me to my limit, pushing me beyond my own physical capabilities and claiming that I wasn't good enough. Nothing I could do would be good enough for him.
He would always dismiss me earlier than what we had scheduled, and I always left, with a mixture of anger and confusion as to why he would treat me like this. But after a few weeks of taking all his critism, I decided to train separately from him. I did not need a man's help to take care of myself.
"Your hits are weak." I closed my eyes and paused as his voice echoed in the empty gym. "You got to put more power into your punches."
"I don't need your help, Barnes." I gritted my teeth, before resuming what I was doing. His footsteps echoed across the floor and my body grew tense as he grew closer to me.
"Maybe you don't want my help..." Bucky's face moved into my line of vision and I scowled. "But you do need it. You need to work on your stance."
"Bucky..." I took a deep breath. "Leave me alone."
"I have a responsibility for this team." He took a step closer to me, his blue eyes livid as he stared down at me. "I won't let anyone die because they're simply too ignorant to learn how to fight properly. "
"I know how to fight properly!" I snapped, and stepped back.
"Do you now, doll?" A smirk pulled at the corners of his lips as he looked at me before opening his arms wide. "Give me your best shot."
I stared at him for a moment, just taking it all in. His cockiness, his anger, and his hatred. His blue eyes, which I always thought were captivating and stunning, were clouded with emotions that I couldn't even read. This was a whole new Bucky, one that the rest of the world never got to see. I didn't understand why it was the Bucky I got to know and face every day.
"I don't have to fight..." I said slowly, before stepping forward towards him. "... to prove my worth." I shoved him hard in the chest, watching as he stumbled backwards a step. I felt the tears pooling in my eyes start to slide down my face, but I didn't care. "I don't have to prove anything to you. You hate me? Fine. Just leave me the hell alone. I wanted to know you... but if this is the way you want it? Fine. Fuck you, Barnes."
I turned around to walk towards the door, but felt a metal arm grip onto my wrist. I whirled around to face him, and glared at him darkly. "Get the fuck off of me, or so help me God, I will take you down."
His eyes were different now. They weren't angry, they were regretful. They didn't hold hatred, they held sadness. It was if my words had flipped a switch in him.
But I didn't care.
I yanked my hand free, and he let me go. I slammed the door shut behind me as I left, and stormed to my bedroom, trying to slow the tears that were streaming down my face. Even though the rest of my future was uncertain, I did know one thing: that was the last time I would let Bucky Barnes push me around.
TWO DAYS LATER:
"Alright. This is a simple in and out mission. We just need to get the intel from the base, and then we can all go home. Casualties are not a problem. Do whatever you need to get that hard drive. Now, move out."
I nodded simply, and pulled out my gun, making sure it was loaded and that the safety was off. After making it inside, I pulled out my map, and began looking for where the secured room was. A hand grasped my shoulder, and I whipped around, my gun aiming at none other than Bucky Barnes face. He raised his hands in mock surrender, a smirk playing at his lips. "You really gonna shoot me, doll?"
I scoffed and pulled the gun away before starting to walk away. "I wish I could."
"Doll, come on..." Bucky sighed and walked after me. "Can we talk?"
"My name is Y/N, not doll." I turned around and glared at him. "There, we talked."
"We need to talk about what happened a few days ago." His smirk faded away, and concern filled his eyes. "I didn't mean to hurt you."
"Well... you did, Barnes." I shook my head slowly. "You made me feel worthless, as if I didn't deserve a place on the team, or as if I didn't deserve to be anywhere. I don't know what the hell your problem is, but I think it would be better if you left me alone." I walked away, unintentionally exposing myself to HYDRA guards only twenty feet away.
"Y/N-"
"That's enough, Buck-" My words were caught in my throat as a bullet shot straight into my shoulder. I turned my head to look at Bucky, his eyes wide and mouth open in shock. Before I could say another word, another bullet lodged into the same shoulder and my body slowly fell to the ground.
I could feel the blood soaking through my uniform, and I began to shake as I realized that this could be the end for me. Blurred figures and fuzzy voices were all I could make out, and a few moments later, gun shots began to fire. A familiar face entered my vision and I realized it was Bucky.
"Don't close your eyes, Y/N." HIs voice seemed urgent as he pulled strips from his shirt to press as a bandage against my wound. "We're gonna get you out of here, just stay with me."
"Y-You were right, Buck." I managed to speak, as blood bubbled on my lips and I stared up at him through glassy eyes. "Maybe I was t-too ignorant to learn."
"This is not your fault." Bucky shook his head quickly, as he continued to put pressure on the wound. "You're not going to die. Just stay awake."
"Mm..." I slurred as I felt darkness lulling me to fall asleep.
"Y/N!"
His voice began to slow down, and darkness crept into my vision. I smiled weakly at him once more, before saying. "I'm s-sorry."
My world went black, and I didn't know if I'd ever see the light again.
—-
The next thing I knew, my eyes were slowly starting to flutter open. I looked around the room and realized that I was in a small hospital bed. I was back at the base. I turned too quickly, and winced as I felt a sharp pain in my shoulder.
A bandage was wrapped around my shoulder, holding a pad in place to protect the wound from infection. I leaned back against the pillow, and looked to the door.
Bucky was leaning against the doorway, his arms crossed against his chest. Dark circles were forming under his eyes and his hair was a mess. A small smile pulled at his lips. "You're awake."
"W-What happened?" I asked softly, and gestured toward the chair. He walked over and sat down, his eyes never leaving me.
"You were shot. Twice." Bucky gulped, as if trying to compose himself. "You blacked out, but we were able to get you back in time to save your life. Both of the bullets are out, and now it's only time that will help with recovery."
"You look exhausted." I said, as I took in his appearance.
"I couldn't sleep knowing that your life was on the line." My heart jumped slightly at his words, and I smiled softly as his hand touched mine. "It was my fucking fault."
"No, it wasn't." I shake my head.
"Yes, it was. Or else you wouldn't have walked away, right into HYDRA's trap."
"They would've been waiting there anyway." I squeezed his hand gently, and kept my gaze locked with his. "There is nothing you could've done."
He sighed shakily before looking back at me. "I'm sorry. For everything."
"I forgive you..." I smile.
"I have a hard time with feelings, ever since... HYDRA." Bucky looked away. "And I really like you. But I thought it would be better to push you away, out of harms way. Clearly that didn't work."
"Bucky..." I leaned closer, and touched my hand against his face. He looked up, his eyes sparkling with emotion. "You could have just told me. "
"I was doubtful you felt the same way." He shrugged.
"But I do." I let out a small laugh. "All this time, I thought you hated me."
"Far from it, doll. " Bucky smiled genuinly, before moving closer so our faces were inches apart. "From now on... I only want to do this together, not separate. But only if that's what you want."
"Of course..." I leaned in and kissed him gently. After a few moments, we pull away and lean our foreheads together. "Only ever together. "