"What ya gonna do today?" Opie asked while Dana was eating breakfast. "Want me to ask Juice if he has time to show you around in the office?"
Dana pretended like it was a hell of a job to cut her bread into pieces while looking for an excuse.
"Rather another time," she said eventually. "After a night with more sleep. Don't think I'll remember a lot."
Opie gave her an understanding nod.
Dana finished the piece of bread before she continued. "I would like to get some air. Can I take a walk somewhere? Would that be possible?"
He looked thoughtfully at her. "Want to be alone for a minute?"
She nodded hesitantly. There was always someone around to guard her. And that was necessary, that she understood very well, but she just needed some time alone.
"Someone has to stay close. There's a park nearby, with two entrances. When we keep an eye on those, and you keep your phone ready, it shouldn't be a problem. I'll ask Clay if he can miss two people at the garage. I think he can."
One hour later Dana walked through the park. Bobby and Chibs had escorted her and were now waiting at the entrances. It was nice that they were out of sight for a moment, and she still felt relatively safe.
She sat down at the shore of a small lake and stared at the water. She tried to let go of all her thoughts, to clear her head. To leave all the memories of last night behind. The bad ones, at least. For she had enjoyed the party.
With her fingers, she brushed her right hand, hooked her little finger around the other and imagined Juice's warmth. Her lips curled up. She wished he'd been here, that she could've leaned against his shoulder, both staring into the water. She felt her eyes get watery while thinking about him.
She really liked him. And she felt she needed him, much more than she'd dared to admit. She hadn't realized before last night, when she'd sat on her bed, crying, hoping he would come for her.
Should she take the chance? She was here for a few weeks now, and Maddox still hadn't shown up. Maybe her fear was unfounded and didn't she cross his mind any longer.
Bullshit, Dana. You're not only his fled property, you're also the murderer of his brother.
She swallowed. No, sooner or later Juice would become a target. The loneliness that was bothering her now and then was painful, but wasn't that much better than having to miss him for good? Now she could still see his smile from a distance. If she gave in to her feelings, there would only be pictures of it.
Her eyes started to itch again. Why the hell was she so erratic those last days? Was that because she was enjoying life again? The past years she'd often been careless, and many times she'd wished she was dead. But now she wanted to live. To really live. It was a long and hard road, and she needed help. She was glad there were people on the sideline, who sometimes took her hand and dragged her along a few steps. She was incredibly grateful to the people she'd met. Not only to Cherry, Kip, Opie and Juice. Also to the rest of the club, who were now guarding a park because she needed space. Still, she felt guilt creeping in. They gave up their time for her. It was about time she returned the favor, that she started to contribute to the club life. Doing nothing, that wasn't her at all. It would be nice to have something to do. Tonight she would ask Juice if he was serious about needing some assistance.
That intention made her whole body feel tingly and messed up her head. She looked forward to it just as much as she did not. But she could deal with that. Sometimes things felt uncomfortable between them and she often couldn't find the right words, but when she thought of the day before, it was mostly the moments with him that she was reliving over and over again, causing a smile on her face. For that, she didn't need to kiss him, nor to sleep with him. His presence alone was enough to keep the memories about Maddox away.