Lance looked at the screen in awe, He had no words to describe what he was feeling, but he was going to try anyway.
Joy. Pure, unadulterated joy.
Elation.
Happiness.
Belonging.
He had finally gotten credit for what he was doing, and for once it actually felt worth it. It felt like Lance wasn't just some unlucky kid who got caught at the wrong place and the wrong moment. He felt like he might actually be doing something worthwhile.
He stared at the text, re-reading the words his mama had sent him from billions of light years away. She was telling him to be strong. He would have to push through the feelings of loneliness and sadness so he could get home safely.
He wanted to go home. He wanted to kiss his mama and hug his sisters and brothers and tios. He just wanted to go home.
"Whatcha looking at?" Pidge asked, startling Lance out of his shell-shocked stupor. Lance looked up and smiled a watery smile as the tears began to pour down his face. "Woah! Lance! What's wrong?"
Lance held up the phone wordlessly and Pidge stared at it for a long second.
"Lance..." she breathed. "What is this?"
"I've been sending them text messages..." Lance murmured, not sure if it was to Pidge or to himself. "They never sent because...well you know. Until now. And....she responded."
"You got a text from your mother?" Pidge asked, staring at Lance in disbelief. "How is this possible?"
"I don't know....Do you...Do you think I can...call her?" Lance asked, not willing to get his hopes up.
"Try!" Pidge demanded.
Lance hit the call button and waited, praying that it would work.
"Lance?" Lance felt tears spring into his eyes when he heard the familiar voice of his mama. He took in a sharp breath and willed his voice to return.
"Mama?" Lance asked, his breath hitching in the back of his throat.
"Lance? Oh Lance.." Mama wailed. Lance felt his heart melt when his mama started to cry. He heard many voices in the background.
"Mama, it's me...Who else is with you?" Lance asked.
"Everyone.. oh Lancey we miss you so much!" Mama said, and Lance could hear the pain behind those words. Lance was missing his mother, but she...she was missing her child. She birthed Lance, raised him and took care of him. The feeling of losing someone that close to you would take such a heavy toll on anyone.
"Mama...I miss you too...so much.." Lance's voice broke. "It hurts.....the feeling in my chest....I can't breathe whenever I think about you guys.....I love you so much.."
"Tio Lance!" a voice called. Lance laughed, his entire being filled with what Lance could only describe as...liquid sunshine.
"Hey....Benito," Lance whispered. "How's my favorite nephew today?"
"I'm your only nephew," Benny pointed out. Lance laughed.
"Yeah...you're right." Lance said. "How is everyone? Are you taking care of your mama?"
"Yeah, Mama missed you, Tio," Benny says. "She wouldn't stop looking for you. She knew you were alive. Papa said that she needed to let go but she never did."
"That's mi hermana," Lance said. "Where is she?"
".......mama died, Tio," Benny said. Lance felt his heart stop in his chest.
"What?"
"Mama passed away. She was in a car accident last year." Benny said again. Another flow of tears fell down Lance's face, but this time from sadness. No, Lizzy, Lance's eldest sister, was dead?
"Oh...Benny," Lance said, his voice cracking in odd places. "I'm so sorry I wasn't there."
"It's okay, Tio," Benny said. "I miss you. Are you coming home soon?"
"I want to," Lance said. "I miss you all so much. I just want to come home and hold you all and never let go."
"Then come home Tio...come home."
Lance started awake, his blankets crumpled on the floor from all of his tossing and turning. Lance stared at the ceiling of the castle. No. It felt so real. The voices....they sounded so real. It couldn't have just been a dream!
Lance stood up and wobbled his way to his desk where his phone sat.
Please! It couldn't have been a dream! Mama's voice had been so clear! Benny's laugh....it was so tangible!
Lance opened the text messages and his heart broke.
'0of 211 sent'
"No....noo.." Lance murmured as he sank to his feet. He wrapped his arms around himself and rocked back and forth crying.
And it was there, surrounded by the dark, millions of miles from home, where Lance felt more alone than he ever had.