Chloe Thompson, that was how she was going through life now.
And living a life, that was wat she was doing a little more every day. Carefully she visited more places, went around more people. But always in the presence of an armed club member, mostly Opie or Half-Sack. Kip, she corrected herself. She'd promised Cherry to address him by his real name.
She still slept in the clubhouse and was glad nobody resented. There was always someone around so that she felt relatively safe. Almost every night she had nightmares, but she never left her room in a panic. It often took her just a few seconds before she realized those were just bad dreams.
Her new haircut, darker make-up and tattoo-sleeves did their job well. Nobody paid attention to her. A Croweater, a SAMCRO groupie, that was what she had become. She was fine with that, as long as nobody noted her presence. She however knew for sure Maddox's men would recognize her immediately if they entered the clubhouse. She tried not to think about that. Her brother had told her visitors were rarely around, and as soon as an unfamiliar face showed up, everyone was alert.
She didn't talk much with Happy. She knew he was keeping an eye on her and that he valued her safety, but conversations were uneasy. Since she still felt guilty for the way she'd behaved, and he felt ashamed for not intervening, they were both filled with self-recrimination, which stood in the way of real reconciliation.
It needed time, Dana reminded herself. The fact that he was willing to even look at her, was already much more than she'd dared to hope for.
"Look at that." Cherry put down a large bag in front of her. "The decorations."
Dana went with her hand through the bag and frowned at the sight of boob-shaped balloons. "Wow. Just wow."
Cherry shrugged. "Tig's hitting the 50 only once, so we need to go big."
Dana shook her head, smiling, and opened the package. "Blowing up tits. Always wanted to do that." She took out the small pile, laid it on the bar and grabbed the one on top. She pulled the end of the balloon, put it between her lips and started to blow.
She was just halfway the package when the front door opened and Kip and Juice got inside, carrying beer crates. She was startled, and the balloon she'd been blowing up, shot out of her mouth and flew with a small bow through the room. Her face had already been red of inflating balloons, but she got the idea it got even worse.
Ever since their ride in the van, on her way to a new ID, she got clammy hands when she saw him at unexpected moments. It was really annoying. She'd thought it would pass on its own, that it was just a phase, but she hadn't been very successful thus far. Whether it was just shame she was feeling or something else, she didn't exactly know. Or maybe she did but was still in denial.
As soon as they were all together her eyes were always searching for him. She tried really hard not to be alone with him, and most days she'd been lucky. Sometimes she had no choice, and those moments had only made things more awkward. She wondered if he felt that too, or that it was all in her head.
Dana realized she was staring at him again. In a hurry, she tried to come up with a little humor, but her head seemed to be filled with void. In the end, she waved her hand at the two, while persistently looking at Kip, and continued with what she'd been doing.
Cherry gave her a questioning look, and Dana was even getting hotter. She'd been afraid for a while now that her new friend would notice that she was acting strange when Juice was around.
"Well, you look like you could use something to cool off."
She was startled by his voice and could just prevent another boob from flying around. Quickly she took the balloon out of her mouth and buttoned it up. She grabbed the beer that Juice was handing to her, praised the Lord for not letting it slip through her sweaty hands and tried to keep breathing after seeing that awfully beautiful smile.
"Dana surely does," Cherry chuckled.
"Chloe," Kip corrected her. He swung his arm around his girl. Cherry turned her face to him, seeming to find this a perfect moment to make out.
She's doing this on purpose. Awkwardly Dana fiddled the label on the bottle. It felt as if she was participating in a double-date involuntary.