Chapter Five
The thing about fame is it happens all at once. You don't get a chance to ease into it. It punches you in the throat and expects you to react gracefully. Once we wrapped up the California tour we returned home only to find an opportunity to tour with an already established and very popular band. The lead singer saw us play in San Francisco and he insisted that we open for his band. Like I said, it was offer we couldn't refuse. It wasn't everyday an unsigned, anonymous band had an opportunity like this land in their laps.
From that moment on, I became their manager. I had no clue what I was doing so I made it up as I went. It turned out my unconventional methods would contribute to their success over the years. I focused on social media and the fans. I could care less about record labels and publicists and all their bullshit. The fans would end up bringing this band all the way to the top.
The first few shows were insane. They were playing in front of tens of thousands of people. We were gaining fans so fast, we had to contract with a company to mass produce merch in an effort to keep up with the demand. We also independently released the ep's in a digital format. It wasn't long before record execs started showing up at shows and introducing themselves to the guys and Demi.
About halfway through the tour, they started introducing themselves to me. At first I didn't really pay them much attention until I realized they were looking to negotiate possible contracts. I wasn't exactly experienced in all the legal garbage that comes with contract negotiation so I got a friend of mine to agree to help me with it. He owed me big time and I decided to collect on that debt. He still represents the band to this day and probably always will.
I'll always remember the night they signed their first record deal. They had just played the Palladium in LA and they had a couple days off before heading to the east coast to finish the tour. I had spent the better part of the week negotiating a deal that would give them their big break.
I patiently waited inside their dressing room after they finished their set. I could hear them as they came down the hall. It was always easy to find them, you just had to head toward the all the noise and chaos. Demi's laugh was usually also a very dead give away. They burst through the door an I couldn't help but smile at them. Steve Sullivan, the record exec, also had a smile plastered on his face.
"Who the fuck is this?" Johnny asked. "Is there something you need to tell Sel?" He teased.
"Nice suit bro." Joe smirked.
"Guys." I said loudly trying to get their attention. It didn't work.
Demi and Matt were slapping each other in the face while Nick hit Johnny with his drumsticks. Joe mean while was harassing Steve. It was chaotic. Thankfully, Steve seemed to be amused by it all. I was slightly embarrassed.
"Guys!" I said again this time yelling. "Please?" I sighed.
Surprisingly, they all calmed down and took a seat.
"What's up babe?" Nick smiled. "Who is this dude?"
"This dude is Steve Sullivan from Capitol Records." I explained.
"Oh shit." Matt mumbled.
"Hi." Steve smiled as he leaned forward in his seat. "Lets cut to the chase shall we?" He asked.
Everyone nodded.
"We want to sign you." He stated.
"Holy fucking shit!" Johnny said excitedly. "Seriously?"
"Yes." Steve laughed. "Seriously."
Once again they all got loud and rowdy. They started hugging each other and talking loudly and every single one of them was smiling. It took a few minutes for the initial shock to wear off, but once it did they sat down and discussed business. It was a pretty reasonable deal that gave the band some lead way and artistic freedom. They signed the contract that night. A month later they were recording their debut album.
I was glad to be back in LA. I was tired of traveling around the country in a van. It had become exhausting and after a while almost impossible. The past year was amazing however, and I wouldn't change any of it. Throughout the course of touring we had become a family. Even Demi and Joe. We were all best friends. That tour would be the last time our lives moved at a normal speed.
The process of recording the first album was very much a learning experience for everyone. They all worked very hard though and in the end it would pay off. It took about three months to record a record that the label felt comfortable with. They made a few tweaks here and there and by the time summer rolled around, they were doing the final touches.
"What are you guys doing?" I asked when I walked in and saw Demi stirring something in a bucket.
"Making Jell-O shots." She answered innocently.
"In a bucket?" I laughed.
"It's an economy sized batch." She smiled.
"Isn't it a little early for a warm up?" I asked as I watched Johnny dump a bottle of raspberry vodka into the bucket. "It's only seven. In the morning." I added.
"We've been up for like two hours already. We're good." Demi grinned.
"If you say so." I sighed, shaking my head. "Where's Nick?" I asked.
"He's inside tracking drums." Demi answered as she pointed toward the studio doors.
"Thanks." I smiled as I left them to there mixology and went to watch Nick record.
I saw him setup on the soundstage. He had his headphones on and he was already playing as I sat in the booth. I could tell he was playing a heavier song due to the incessant crashing of the cymbal.
"Wanna listen?" Mark, one of the producers asked.
"Yes please." I answered.
He flipped a switch on the panel and I could hear the song as it exploded out of the speakers.
"He can't hear the guitars or vocals right now because he's playing to a click, but he's tearing it up." Mark smiled.
"He certainly is." I said to myself. I was so proud of him.
Thirty minutes later, Nick exited the booth and made his way toward me.
"Hey baby!" He said with a huge grin as he approached me.
"Hey." I kissed his lips softly and laughed when I felt his arms wrap around me and lift me off the ground.
"Wanna go grab some lunch with me?" He asked.
"Of course." I answered. "How was the session?"
"It was awesome. We're almost done. I think Demi and Joe have a few guitar parts to record and some backing vocals. Other than that, it's pretty much a wrap."
"I can't believe this is actually happening." I said as he laced our fingers together as we made out way toward the lounge.
I was surprised to see that it was empty. They had left evidence of their jello project behind in the trash cans.
"They were making Jell-O shots." I explained to Nick who looked slightly lost. "See." I said as I opened the fridge.
He laughed. "Wow. I know what we're doing tonight." He winked.
"I wonder where they went?" I questioned as I looked down the hallway.
"Who knows." Nick yawned. "Lets go grab some lunch."
"Agreed."
We left the studio and he took me to a place on the corner of Hollywood and Vine called Hollywood & Vine. It was a nice restaurant and the food was amazing.
When we finished lunch, we made our way back to the studio. I loved the way Nick would hold my hand as we sat in the cab. He always made eye contact with me when he spoke and his smile was ways genuine. He was so sweet. I hoped he would always stay this way. The idea of fame and everything that comes with it was a little bit scary to me.
We arrived back at the studio to find Demi tracking guitars. As usual every one was watching. She made it look so effortless. She was always looking for unique sounds and sometimes she'd strum without a pick. She'd get several weird injuries because of this once they started touring.
That evening they finished production on the album. I realized what the Jell-O shots were for. Celebrating. That night we all threw caution to the wind and partied our asses off. When we ran out of liquor at the studio we made our way down the Boulevard. Everyone, including me was completely wasted.
Somehow we manage to make it to one of our favorite bars, Shooter's and we drank until last call.
"I fuckin love you guys." Joe slurred as we stumbled down the boulevard.
"I fuckin love you too." Johnny slurred back before giving him a sloppy kiss on the cheek.
Joe draped an arm across his shoulder and pulled him in close. "You're my best friends." He said as he stumbled.
"I haven't even heard of half these fucking people." Demi grumbled as she attempted to walk in straight line while reading all the names written below her feet in the concrete.
"Me either." Matt grinned. "I'm fucked up." He yelled as he started laughing for no reason.
"Carry me." I commanded Nick as I tried to climb into his arms.
"I can't." He slurred. "Too drunk."
Matt started laughing harder and Nick joined him.
I don't know how, but we somehow managed to make it to Matt's apartment. Thankfully his girlfriend Valerie, was awake and ready to take care of us. She got us all inside and settled in for the night. She would end up being one of my closest friends. She was like a sister to me.
Johnny passed out immediately. He was slumped in a corner on the floor and no one had the strength or energy to move him. Matt of course went into his bedroom and the rest of us had the couches. Luckily one of them had a fold up bed that Val had set up for us. Nick and I took it, while Joe took one of the recliners. Demi disappeared and I had no idea where she ended up.
I ended up finding her later on that night, or morning rather. I woke up a couple hours after passing out due to a slight chill in the room. I noticed a window open and when I went to close it, I could hear her singing softly. She had climbed out the window and up the fire escape to sit on the roof. Despite the goosebumps that pricked my skin, I decided to join her.
"Hey."She said as she helped pull me up.
"Hey." I smiled, slightly winded from the short climb. "What are you doing up her?"
"I couldn't sleep." She said softly. "Come sit with me."
I watched as she sat down and hung her legs off the side of the building. I did as she asked and joined her.
"It's beautiful." I shuddered as I looked at the city lights. The sun would be up soon.
"Are you cold?" Demi asked as she took off her leather jacket.
"A little." I said biting my bottom lip.
"Here." She said as she draped it across my shoulders.
"Thank you."
We sat there and just looked at the city for several minutes. She seemed to be in a somber mood.
"I think about her a lot." She said, breaking the silence.
"Who? Dylan?" I asked referring to her ex.
"No." She said shaking her head. "Brooklyn."
I nodded my understanding. I never really knew what to say to her about that. It was a side of her that I honestly had no knowledge of.
"I'm just like him you know." She said sadly.
She could tell I was once again confused.
"My dad." She explained. "He left me when I was young. He was in and out of my life and never really gave a fuck about me." She said grimly.
"Dem..."
"That's all I'm ever going to be to her. I'm the asshole that walked away and never looked back." She reached over into the pocket of her jacket a pulled out a pack of cigarettes.
"I thought you quit." I stated as she struck a match and lit one up.
"Me too." She said sadly.
She blew out a cloud of smoke and sighed heavily. "I don't want be one of those stars that no one recognizes." She said referring to our walk down the boulevard earlier. "I want to be remembered. How many of those people struggled and suffered for fame only to be forgotten?" She asked.
"I don't know Dem. I honestly don't know. I'll tell you what I do know, you're special and no one is going to forget you." I said as I grabbed her hand and squeezed it firmly.
"I hope she can." She said making eye contact.
"Maybe one day she'll understand."
"I'm a coward Sel. There's nothing to understand." She said angrily.
I didn't really know what to say. I didn't know her well enough to give her advice or say things that might make her feel better. I think this was part of the reason why she reached out to me with these things. It was impossible for me to make her feel better about it. She wanted to hurt, she needed it. For as long as I'd know her, she would be one of her harshest critics. She was harder on herself than anyone ever would be.
In the coming months she would become one of my closest friends. This would complicate our relationship and cause her to hide so many things from me. She knew I would call her out on her bullshit. There were days I wished we weren't friends, because then at least I could have helped her. Back then it didn't matter though. I was just as blind as everyone else, at least for a while anyway.
Getting to know her would end up being some of the most unforgettable times of my life. She was so special to me, in fact she was special to every single person she knew. She loved fearlessly and without boundaries. The one thing she didn't do well, was share her pain.
When I said that fame hit you all at once I wasn't joking. Unfortunately, we were all about to find out the hard way.