"Tell me what you're thinking." He whispered, tangling his fingers though my hair, kissing my collar bone. His lips traced my skin, in a curious way. I had spent years waiting for these nights. We laid tangled in sheets and each other.
"Why we can't feel the earth turn. I know it's because like gravity and all that shit, but..." I giggled. "I dunno." I was lying. I was thinking about him and our life we were building together.
"You're an idiot." He laughed along with me, flopping down next to me. He held my hand slowly, just running his fingers across mine. "When do you want to go look at houses?"
"Where, is more of the question?" I raised an eyebrow and looked up at him.
"I thought we had decided on Boston?" He kissed my forehead.
"Boston? You're going to let me win that one?"
"I will give you anything you want, my queen." He kissed my nose that time. "Do you know why?"
"Why's that?" I giggled.
"Because I love you. More than anything else in this world." Those big brown eyes got me every time. Six years of loving this man and I was still breathless every time he looked at me like that.
"Oh yeah? I love you, too." I kissed him over and over again.
"So, we'll start the Zillow search tomorrow and then start making calls." He yawned, wrapped me in his arms and in a matter of minutes we were both asleep.
"Seth..." I muttered softly, but he was already gone. I was in bed alone.
"Early morning workout with the lads. Meet us here when you're up and ready. XX " my phone chimed just after I woke up. It was a picture of him, Cesaro and Finn.
"My favorite Indy kings (- Dean) I'll be there soon." I shot back, stretching and then getting into the shower. Even though I was going to the gym, I put my ring on my finger. I loved every excuse I had to show it off, to wear it, to tell the world I was Mrs.Seth Rollins, or would be next summer.
"Hey handsome." He answered on the second ring, which was weird for the gym.
"Good morning, lovely." He was out of breath.
"Just wanted to let you know I'll be there in about 15, okay?"
"Okay. I'm gunna put my phone back on the rack then, okay?Just wanted to make sure you were up okay."
"Sounds good. I'll see you there."
"Hey, I love you. Be careful."
"I love you. No worries, baby." I shut the door and headed down the elevator. I walked across the street and headed up the block.
All of the sudden I heard three loud POP sounds and my whole body felt hot. I stopped walking and that's when someone yelled for an ambulance. Everything blurred in and out of focus. I looked down and my once yellow t-shirt was turning orange with blood. I pulled out my phone and called Seth..before he could answer, my body hit the concrete. The heat cooled, my chest felt normal again, my tummy was okay. I was perfectly okay in my own protected bubble, I could hear, I could feel, but no matter how hard I tried I couldn't talk or move on my own.
Seth Perspective
"B? Hey, honey...what's going on? Barb?" I was getting kind of scared. I threw my hair back into the bun it was in before the work out.
"Hello?" It was a man's voice.
"Yeah? Who is this? What's going on?" I felt my stomach sink, something had happened to her.
"There's been an accident. The young lady this phone belongs to, are you her brother, her-"
"I'm her fiance, and really the only family that she's got. Can you please just tell me what happened?" Sirens were coming.
"She's been shot, son. Twice. The ambulance is almost here. I can find out where she's going and tell you as soon as they say." I didn't know what to say, this had to be a joke...right? Stuff like this doesn't happen in real life? She's fine? This is a dream? "Hello?"
"Yes, uh, can you stay with her? Where is she?"
"She had just crossed Seventh going towards West End." I could hear the sirens better outside than I could in the phone. She was right outside...
"I'll be right there." I took off running, straight outside and up half a block where the crowd was already forming. Someone was doing CPR, someone was still on the phone. The paramedics were just pulling up.
"BARBARA, B...Barb, Baby, I'm right here." I ran to her and grabbed her hand. "Hey, hey, it's okay. You're gunna be okay." Her breathing was rough, hard, loud, deep breaths. It seemed like it hurt to even try. There was blood coming from the right of her ribcage and the center of her stomach. "You're doing so good..keep breathing." The paramedics tried to clear me from the scene but I wouldn't let go of her hand. "Please, I'm her boyfriend. My name is Seth Rollins, her name is Barbara Kendrick, we're both wrestlers for WWE, she's 29, type O- for blood, just tell me what you need to know.
"You need to let us try to save her." They took over the CPR and talked to her.
"Excuse me, did you say you're her boyfriend?" It was the voice from the phone.
"Yes, thank you for picking up the phone." I was doing everything I could to keep from crying.
"We need to get her to West Medical, stat." One said as they loaded her into the ambulance.
"Can I? Please?" I climbed in before he answered. He did the defibrillator thing and her eyes opened. Those emerald circles were petrified and looked so exhausted. "Hey, there she is. Hey baby girl, we're gunna get you all fixed up, okay? I love you so much. Hold on, we're almost there. Keep breathing. Stay awake."
"I love you.." Through everything she was feeling, she smiled and squeezed my hand the same way she would as if I was nervous before a big match.
They pulled me away from her at the hospital, rushing her in for surgery. "Mr.Rollins?" That same voice said.
"Yes, sir, just Seth...please." I ran my fingers through my hair.
"I thought you might want this." He handed me B's phone. The Polaroid of us from NXT in the back. She was the best friend, tag partner, hype man, wrestler, promo writer, and love a man could ever dream of. I just smiled, reliving the days we were pretending to be just friends and trying to only focus on our careers. Little did we know, we could only be our best selves together.
"You really didn't have to come...that means so much, you're a good man." I asked his name and shook his hand.
"Michael Pealot. I lost my wife a few years ago and wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. When I saw all the cutesy stuff beside the person she was calling, I knew you were just as important as the medics."
"Mr.Pealot...I probably wouldn't be here right now if you hadn't picked that phone up. You're a blessing." I started crying for the first time and Mr.Pealot just put his hand on my shoulder, ushering me over to the chairs in the lobby
"Now, son. Sit down with me and tell me about that girl in there." I sat next to him in the lumpy office chair and told him about the most amazing woman I had ever met in my entire life. I told him from the day we met to waking up next to her this morning.
"I even told her last night we can move to Boston...I have no idea what her obsession with it is, but that's where she wants to go and wants to make it our home, so that's fine with me. All I want is for her to be happy. What's that expression?"
"Happy wife, happy life." Dean said and Mr.Pealot chuckled. I looked up and my best friends were standing there, just listening to me talk about my favorite girl in the world.
"You think his rants are bad now? You should have been there along the way." Cesaro laughed and introduced himself to Mr.Pealot.
"You're the boys from TV! Those WWE wrestlers, y'all are the best damn thing since Hogan and Macho Man!" Dean and I looked at each other, smiling at what a big compliment that was.
Mr.Pealot never left, he was surrounded by wrestlers and fascinated by the business. He told us he had met Andre in NYC one day on accident and he still had the photo framed at home. We all laughed at his favorite guys and moments, some which we shared. The doctor finally came down the hall what felt like days later..."Mr.Rollins?" He was covered in blood, her blood. I felt everything catch in my throat.
"Yes? That's me.." I whispered, "did she make it? Is she okay?"
"She's stable, for now. She'll be waking up within the next 20 minutes. Would you like to wait with her?"
"Yes, yes. Please." I just needed to see her. "Mr.Pealot, come meet her. Please?"
"This is a moment you need with her, but call me when you all get home and we'll get dinner. I look forward to meeting her." He shook my hand and handed me his business card,"a love like this comes once. No matter what, don't give up on her." He hugged me and headed towards the door. "She needs you to be strong and to love her right now."
"We'll be right here, brother." Roman smiled.
"We promise." Dean said while throwing his arm around Renee, who was just as scared as any of us. The doctor ushered me into her room, machines and IVs covered my beautiful girl.
"Hey, baby. I'm right here, okay. Whenever you want to wake up, I'm not going anywhere. I'm so sorry this happened, B. It should have been me. I should have been there. I could have stopped it." All I could do was cry and hold her hand. I kissed it again and again, looking down to see my hair tie still on her wrist. I just sort of laughed, she still kept that part of me with her even in the worst of times. "I can't wait for you to get better. I'm going to take you to the nicest restaurants and the most beautiful beaches. We'll go to Switzerland. We'll do everything we wanted to do. I was waiting to tell you we had both been booked for the Japan tour, so you're going back and I'm finally going. How exciting is that. And when we get back in the gym, man, you're still gunna whoop my ass." I kissed her hand again, this time she squeezed back. "There's my girl. Wake up, baby." Slowly those beautiful eyes opened up and I had never felt more at ease.
"I got so scared when you didn't answer, I'm sorry. I don't even really know what-" I kissed her as gently as possible.
"I've never been so happy to see you wake up." I smiled brushing her hair from her face. "There were two shots that hit you, one in your ribs, one in your abdomen. Nothing major was hit but a few of your ribs are broken & you have a concussion.
"No...Seth, it's not that simple."
"Yes it is, dork. I talked to your doctor and I asked all the questions I could on the way here. You lost a lot of blood, but-"
"There's something they're missing, I don't feel right still. I just...I love you so much." The machines around her started beeping faster. "That's so important. You've got to know how much I love you."
"Hey, calm down...it's okay." I was starting to get worried.
"Seth, I love you so much and I want you to live every day of your life knowing that. And that this was never your fault. You loving me is what made my life so great. This isn't your fault. Okay? You taught me what love felt like and what it means to have a family, you saved me."
"I love you, shhh. The doctor will be here in just a second.You're not going anywhere. Focus on me. Stay awake."
"I'm not supposed to. It's time, baby..I did so many amazing things. I traveled the world, I made my dreams come true. I fell in love with the most amazing man in the world. I'm a fucking Barbie for crying out loud. I did everything I was meant to. The only thing was I didn't get to marry you."
"Then stay. Stay right here. We'll get married tomorrow and then when you get better we'll have the biggest wedding. I'll have flowers everywhere. Your favorite foods, even a chocolate fountain. Whatever you want, baby. We can start planning it right now. Let's get married as soon as you're better!" It was getting to the point where I couldn't hold my sobs back anymore. The girl I loved more than anything in this world was going to die in my arms.
"Come hold me. I want you." Two tears fell down her face. I climbed into bed with her and wrapped my arms around her, putting her delicately on my chest. "I'm not scared." She cried, "I just don't want you to feel this way. I want you to know it's okay. I want you to know I love you."
"I love you so much." I kissed her forehead. "You're going to be okay, B. I promise."
"Don't let them play shitty music for me, okay?" She chuckled.
"You are everything I could have ever dreamed of, you know that don't you? You made me a better person. You made me want to be human again. You saved my life." I tried to control my sobs, but how do you? How do you stop it when the one thing you love more than anything is dying in your arms.
"Promise me something..." she whispered, it was the same, light, blissful whisper she had before she fell asleep next to me after a show.
"Anything in this world, it's yours."
"Promise me you'll be okay. Promise me you'll let Roman be there for you, and Dean. Promise me you won't stop wrestling. Promise me you'll win that universal championship for me, because red looks oh so good on you. Promise me when the next girl comes up to you, and she gives you that feeling in your stomach...you'll trust it and know that I'm watching, supporting you. Promise me you will keep being the man I fell in love with."
"I don't want to lose you. Not like this.." I didn't want to think about another girl or her not being there when I did reclaim my belt. I wanted to think about our wedding, our home in Boston, our kids, our lives after wrestling, putting her name on The Black and The Brave ownership, her realizing she hates Boston after one winter. I wanted to think about the forever we were going to have together.
"Seth say you promise." She was getting tired and it was becoming hard for her to speak.
"I promise, baby. I promise to be everything I can be, for you." I kissed her head again, holding her as close as I could.
"I love you."
"I love you too, baby girl." And for a few moments, it was silent. The same way it was before bed every night. Then the machines started beeping like crazy and she flatlined. I was nowhere near being a medical professional but I knew that meant her heart had stopped.
Nurses and doctors ran into the room, but it felt like everything was in slow motion. One pushed past me and the other ushered me into the hall, shutting the door behind me. I knew she had given up her fight and that this was it. My beautiful angel now had wings.
I walked back to the lobby, to my brothers, and I collapsed into their arms. They cried too. Everyone did...everyone knew how special she was, and I hated that she had to go here instead of at home, or even somewhere she was familiar with. "I gotta call Vince." I muttered, the numbness was setting in.
"Not right now, man. We can call him later. We don't need to, not yet." Dean whispered. "Let's get you home first, okay?" How was I supposed to go back to the apartment we had shared...I decided then and there Boston would be my new home, she would like it that way. But not until she was buried in Iowa where she belonged.
"No, he needs to know why we're not there. I promised her I'd keep wrestling." I pulled my phone from my pocket and scrolled to his contact. "Hey, Mr.McMahon. Uh...it's Seth."
"Seth, I've been waiting for your call, how is she?" Someone had told him about the accident...
"She, uh, she didn't make, sir." I choked up and started crying again. Even the man who had witnessed Owen's death was speechless.
"Seth, I'm sorry, son. I have no idea what you're feeling right now...but I can tell you, whatever you need...we will provide for you." He sounded sincere and that just made it hurt worse.
"Thank you, sir."
"Events are cancelled up until Raw on Monday. I imagine the funeral will be in Iowa?"
"Yes, sir. I'm going to set it all up tomorrow."
"You, you set it up. Hunter and I will pay for it and provide airfare to any member of the roster or staff who wishes to attend."
"Mr.McMahon, you really don't have to-"
"Seth. This was a tragedy. She was your wife, son. You are one of my favorite talents, as was she. I'm doing this for her as much as, as if not more, than I am for you. She was a hell of a wrestler and an amazing young woman."
"Thank you, sir."
"I'll see you on Saturday, son. Don't be so hard on yourself." And that was the end of the conversation.
The next few days were a blur. The next thing I remember is standing, surrounded by boxes, wearing a black button down, black pants and having my hair pulled back just the way she liked it with the baby blue tie she loved so much on. I was holding my favorite picture of us.
At this point I had gone through her phone, seen the Pinterest boards. Mourned the life she had planned for us. I hoped today would bring me some kind of peace.
"Barbara is my best friend. The day I met her, she had on this bright green, purple and black gear. She looked like Matt and Lita's lovechild, raised by Jeff," everyone laughed for that one and the Hardy's threw up their hand signals. "She knew she was born to be a wrestler. So many people call wrestling an escape, and for us...it was exactly that. B was the strongest person I have ever or will ever meet. She survived things I couldn't dream of and she climbed mountains taller than any I have ever faced. She was my rock, my faith...my saving grace. I would not be the Seth Rollins that I am today if she had not decided to love me the way she did. And I know...I know she chose to love my dumbass every single day, and baby...I'll never understand that one.
There was one day, I guess we can call it the day. We had just been told the Shield was getting called up to the main roster and she was the first person I wanted to tell. I knew, that I wanted her to be the person I shared good news with for the rest of my life. She wrapped her arms around me and told me how proud she was that my dream was coming true and that this was just the beginning for me....three weeks later, in a hotel lobby in Massachusetts I ask her to be my girlfriend. Two and a half years later, in our living room...at 8:30 on a Saturday morning, I asked her to marry me. On July 16th of the coming year, she was going to be my wife.
The ring I have on today, is the ring she was going to hand me on our wedding day." I had made it to this point without crying, I didn't know if I could keep it up, "I don't know why these things happen. I don't know why I won't get to see you walk up that aisle. I don't know why I keep waking up and you're not there. I don't know why it was you and not me. But I do know...I know that the house I've bought in Boston is everything you asked for, I know that the matches scheduled this week would excite you to no end. I know I made a promise. I know I love you and was lucky enough to hold onto your love for five beautiful years. I know that I will never forget you and the people in this room will help me remember your legacy. Barbara Kendrick-Rollins, I love you more than anything in this world or the next, and for you I will survive." I kissed the picture and set it on top of the casket. "Never forget me, baby."