Keith traced the lines and I suppressed a shiver. "There are hundreds.." he whispered. I pulled away from him and pulled my shirt back over my head.
"Yeah...there are." I said. "I....I didn't want you guys to know about this...about me...I thought that I was finally free now that I'm in space...I wonder if my family is safe. Do you think he's hurt them because I can no longer protect them?"
"Lance.." Shiro stepped forward and I flinched away from him. He raised an eyebrow but didn't comment. "I understand. I've done things I'm not proud of too...." he trailed off. A far away look in his eyes before he brought his attention back to me. "The difference between you and I is that you had no choice. You did it for the people you loved I did it for myself. It's okay.."
"I really hope you keep that opinion of me," I whispered. "Because it's about to get graphic."
"What do you--" Pidge started but a loud whooshing sound made her stop. We were passing to a new memory. Suddenly we were in another warehouse. I cringed because I know which memory this is.
"Guys...I don't....you shouldn't see this..turn away.." I whispered in a trance. My eyes couldn't leave the figure standing in the center of the dank room.
The man laughed and snapped his fingers. Oh no. It's beginning. "Welcome everyone," the man said, talking to the large group of people that spilled into the room. The were wearing fancy clothes and expensive jewelry. "I'd like to thank everyone for coming. As you know my family has a very interesting career path. And as I know, all of you are in need of our services. So, I offer you my best assassin. Alejandro McClain. Let the bidding start at ten thousand."
That's when I was brought into the light. I was tied up and my head was in a bag. I was eleven. The team gasped and stared at me.
"Lance.." Shiro asked softly. "Is this...an auction?"
I nodded my head. "How else would he get paid for what I do?"
"Lance I'm so sorry..." Shiro said, his eyes misty with regret. I shrugged.
"I'm used to it." I said, avoiding the eyes of my teammates. Instead I stared into the eleven-year-old version of myself. His head had been removed from the bag after someone won the bidding. You could see the fear and anger in his eyes.
"Sold! For twenty thousand dollars," Papa said, banging his fist on the table. I was untied and forced to stand. The man who bought me held me like a prize. I remember fighting the urge to spit in his face. "Now you only have dear Alejandro for two weeks before he must be returned."
The man nodded.
The memory ended and we were back in the core room. The team stared at me, their faces betraying their surprise.
"Lance what the fuck was that?" Keith demanded.
"That was my first auction," I said. "My papa would hold auctions when he had too many customers at one time. He always got twice the money he would have had he let everyone use me."
"That is so fucked up," Pidge whispered.
"Tell me about it," I said glumly.
"Wait so you were sold to people...like.." Hunk trailed off. I shook my head.
"No, I was never, you know, raped or anything. I just did whatever they paid me to do." I said. "Usually it was just to kill someone. Sometimes I had to torture people. That was it. It was always what they told me to do. I couldn't say no to them because, for the short time that I was with them, they owned me."
"So you're not a murderer."
I snapped my head up see Keith staring at me harshly. His eyes bore into mine. "What?"
"You're not a murderer." he repeated.
"No, I heard what you said," I huffed. "How can you say that? You watched me shoot that guy. How could you even say that--"
"You were forced to do it," keith said. "Therefore you're the victim."
"I think the guy with the hole in his head is the victim" I replied snarkily.
"Lance. All I'm saying is whatever it is they made you do, you're not going to be held responsible for it. You're not the bad guy here." I felt a strong sense of deja vu wash over me and suddenly we were transported to the memory that Keith's rant reminded me of.
I was fourteen and standing in a very fancy gala. I was wearing a suit that I despised the moment i saw it, but wore it because I had no choice. I carried a violin case that did not hold a violin.
I was standing to the back of the room, waiting for my target to leave. Suddenly a kid walked up to me. He looked about seven or eight and he had a bandaid on his cheek. "Hello." he said.
"Hello," my younger self said. I was staring at the interaction, my heart racing. "What's your name?" I mouthed the words as my younger self said them.
"Jerome." Jerome replied. He smiled, displaying his missing front tooth.
"What can I do for you Jerome?" I had asked. He shrugged.
"You looked lonely," Jerome said. "I thought you could use a friend."
"It's not smart for me to have friends," I had replied darkly.
"Everyone needs friends," Jerome argued.
"Well not me," I said. "No one wants to be friends with a bad guy."
"You don't seem like a bad guy," Jerome had answered. "You just look sad. But my daddy said it's okay to be sad, as long as you find someone to make you happy again."
"And who's your daddy?" I asked.
"Mr. Gaines." Jerome relied. That's when I stopped smiling. Mr. gaines was my target. I didn't know he had a son. And now I would have to orphan the friend I had just made. My only friend. The only one who thought I wasn't a bad guy.
"I see," I replied. "I need to leave."
"Bye friend," Jerome waved.
"Goodbye Jerome." I whispered.
The memory ended. Pidge walked up to me and pushed her glasses up. "Did you...did you kill his dad?" she asked. I looked away.
"Not...not exactly." I answered.
"What do you mean 'not exactly'?" she asked. The memory of what happened began.
I had just left the gala and was in position to kill. My employer stood behind me, a smug expression n his face. I took aim and placed my hand on the trigger. You don't look like a bad guy. Jerome's voice rang in my head.
Suddenly the very idea of shooting Mr. Gaines had me sick. This had never happened before. I had been desensitized to this feeling. The feeling of regret and guilt. Yet all I could think of was how that sweet kid was going to end up fatherless if I pulled that trigger.
So I didn't.
"What are you doing?!" the man screamed when I got out of position. "I paid you to shoot that man."
"I won't do it." I responded. He growled and back handed me hard and I fell to the floor. He took my gun and shot, killing Mr. Gaines. I laid my head on the ground, tears flowing from my eyes. "I'm sorry Jerome. I couldn't stop it." I whispered.
"Your father will hear about this," the man seethed.
The memory changed and I was being hit. Papa threw punches and at my face, my head already bleeding red. I looked up at him through my swollen eyes with hatred and disgust.
"I will never kill again!" I shouted at him. He hit me harder.
"You will do as I command!" he yelled. I spit at his face. "You son of a.."
"I'm done being your fucking puppet!" I screamed. I wrenched myself out of his grip and stood my ground. "You can't control me anymore! I'm done!"
"You may be able to fight me," Papa hissed. "But your family can't."
"You monster!" I cried. "You'd hurt your own family for this stupid business?"
"Those people are worth more dead than they are alive," he laughed. I screamed and lunged at him. I threw a punch but he blocked it easily. "You can't fight when your mind is clouded by anger, Alejandro!" I screamed louder, my anger turning to homicidal rage.
"You are scum! The worst of all living things! To call you a rat would be an insult to all rats around the world!" I screamed. "Leave my family alone, you motherfucker!"
"Why yes I did in fact fuck your mother," Papa laughed. "It was quite enjoyable." I screamed in rage. "Careful, Alejandro. Wouldn't want your precious Isabell to get hurt, now would you?"
"You stay away from her you sick bastard!" I cried. He shushed me.
"I'll stay away," he said. "If you take care of some problems."
I hung my head, defeated. I hated him so much but I loved my family more. "Fine."