***Harry's POV***
I wish she would stay with me. I want her to come back. I'm terrified and confused. All I want right now is her beside me.
I walk into my bedroom and flick on the light. I take off my clothing. I have a long scratch across my chest. I go to touch it but jerk away my hand. It fucking hurts. The man must of scratched me during our brawl.
I need to stop thinking about what happened. It has to be removed from my memory. I won't be able to stand it much longer. The ache I have in my chest is indescribable.
I had started to calm until she left. I'm starting to panic again. I don't know how to calm myself down. My breathing is uneven and my heart races.
I then hear two soft knocks on the front door. Please. I grab a pair of sweatpants off of the floor and pull them on. I take a deep breath and walk to the door. I fucking swear if this isn't Leah I.. I stop the thought and open the door.
Her warm, brown eyes immediately meet mine. She smiles before looking at her feet. It feels like a huge weight has been lifted from me. Oh god, I'm so happy she came back.
***Leah's POV***
I knock softly on the door. I have to come up with an excuse about why I came back. Thoughts clutter my mind. His words from just minutes ago fill my chest with warmth. "Stop doing that. You're beautiful". My heart swells. No one other then my family and some friends have said that to me. My thoughts are interrupted when he opens the door.
I look up at him and smile warmly. His eyes light up when he sees me and my stomach knots. I look down at my feet. I haven't taken in his appearance yet. I'm nervous to look up. When I do I see he doesn't have a shirt on. I flush before I see a long scratch across his chest. I open my mouth to say something but he doesn't let me.
He startles me when he picks me up. Literally picks me up and twirls me around. He pulls me tighter against his chest. My skin feels suddenly warm. I can't physically feel him. I have on two layers of clothes. But mentally.. I can. It's an odd feeling.
There is no point of pulling away. I don't want to pull away from his embrace. My feet dangle right above the ground. He puts his hands on the back of my thighs and I jump. I jump because it's sudden but he takes it as me trying to move higher up his body. He pulls my legs up until they are wrapped around his waist.
He chuckles and falls back onto the couch. My heart is pounding in my chest. I fall back with him so now I'm straddling his front while he is sitting. I think my heart is going to come out of my chest.
I try to get off of him because I feel very awkward now. He won't let me. He squeezes me tighter against his chest. I take a deep breath. "Leah I'm so fucking happy you came back", he whispers into my hair. My whole body is on fire.
I'm against his chest. I know he can feel my rapid heartbeat. He chooses to ignore it.
"Harry..", I start, but cannot say anything else. I don't know what to say.
I think he gets the point because he releases me so I can scoot off of his lap. I push myself off of him and stand up in front of him. For the brief second I look down I see what he's wearing.
Sweatpants hang very..very low on his waist. My cheeks flame and I immediately look away. My heart is still pounding.
He pats the spot next to him for me to sit. He obviously doesn't get how embarrassed I am.
Even though my body if burning with embarrassment I don't want to leave. Usually in situations somewhat like this I want to run. I don't now.
I sit down next to him. Maybe he does realize something because he pulls up his sweatpants a little higher.
"Do you want to talk?", he asks. "About?", I question. My voice sounds odd. "Anything", he sighs.
There are a lot of questions I want to ask him. "Why did you come back?", he questions. I still haven't come up with an answer. "Rain", I blurt. What? "What?", he asks. "It's raining pretty hard and I don't want to drive home at night, in the rain", I lie. It is raining but it's not that bad. Harry looks out of the window and smiles. I sink into the couch.
I'm exhausted and I'm not really up for talking right now. "Do you think I can just go to sleep?", I ask him shyly. He smiles but it's not the same as before. He looks upset. I don't need to ask him what's wrong. I know what's wrong. It's obvious.
"Do you want to talk about it?", I ask, grabbing his hand. "No", he replies simply. "I just want to sleep with you."
The air is gone from my lungs. Harry's eyes widen. "Oh god, Leah..", he starts. He starts to laugh. Really laugh. I still can't breathe. "Bloody hell", he chokes, standing up. His sweatpants fall right below his hip bones. "I didn't mean it like that", he can't breathe himself. He's laughing to hard.
My heart is pounding. I take a big gulp of air. His laughter fills the room. Even in my embarrassment I know for sure it's the best sound I've ever heard.
He starts to take deep breathes to calm himself down. What the hell does he mean then? My cheeks flush when he looks down at me.
"I meant sleep. Like sleep in the same bed. That's it. Sleep", he says, breathing normally now. My heart continues to race and I feel sweaty. Sleeping? That's it. That's okay right? "Leah I'm still horrified at the whole situation. You keep me calm. You make me feel safe. Please just sleep in the same bed as me. Sleep", he's more careful with his words this time. "It's much better than this shitty lounge anyway", he points to the couch. I make him feel safe? How? I feel comfort around him. He calms me even when he's not calm. It's strange.
I look up at him. I look at only his face. I nod my head and without thinking I say "Okay".
He smiles wide and pulls me to my feet. Sleep. That's all I want right now. I'm drained. "Thank you", he whispers, pulling me in close. I rest my head against his chest.
He grabs my hand and leads me into his bedroom. To sleep. I don't care what my dad has to say. I'm to exhausted to think about him. I'll figure out what to tell him later.
His bedroom looks the same as it did weeks ago, when I nearly died and he saved my life. More unanswered questions pop into my head. I push them away.
He walks to his dresser and pulls out a t-shirt and loose fitting boxers. It's warm in his apartment so I'll be fine in that. He hands them to me and I walk into the bathroom to change.
I keep on all of my underwear of course, including an undershirt. I look into the hazy mirror. I look exhausted. I am.
When I'm done changing I walk back into his room. "Where can I put this?", I ask, showing him my clothes. "Floor?", he questions, even though it wasn't meant to be a question. I shrug my shoulders and drop my clothes on the floor.
Harry walks into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. I walk over to his bed. I feel awkward but I don't care. I just want to sleep. I push away the blankets and slide in. It's warm and smells like him. I close my eyes.
I feel him getting in the bed. The mattress shifts. My heart starts to beat faster. He touches my arm. I open my eyes and turn to him. He leans over and kisses my forehead. I feel my cheeks redden. He smiles before turning over, his back to me. I do the same, because that's all we are doing. Sleeping. I trust Harry. "You know tomorrow is New Year's Eve", he says slowly. "I know", I whisper, smiling. I listen to his steady breathing before I close my eyes and fall into slumber.
***
I jolt awake. Harry's body thrashes under the blankets. I quickly glance at the clock. I've only been sleeping for about an hour.
He's having a nightmare. I start to panic. He's sweating, I can feel the heat radiating off of him. Should I wake him? Of course I should.
I put my hands onto his clammy chest and shake him. "Harry", I whisper over and over.
His eyes pop open and his body calms. He looks at me, eyes wide. He's confused. I really don't know what to do.
"Leah..I", he starts. "It's okay Harry, it was only a dream", I say to him. "I know", he tells me. "I'm sorry for waking you up", he says. I think I see him glance at the glowing red letters of his bedside clock. It's dark but the light from the street lamps in the parking lot shines through his window, casting some light into the dark room. "It's fine Harry", I say to him, laying back down. "Are you okay?", I ask. "Fine", he says weakly. He's not okay. I can tell. I don't say anything, I just scoot a little closer to him. Not to close, but closer. "Go back to sleep Leah. Really. I'm fine", he assures me.
I close my eyes. Sleep pulls me back in.
***
I open my eyes to light illuminating the room. I feel something sticky on me and I look to see Harry. He's wrapped around me. His clammy chest is pressed against my back. One of his legs is intertwined with mine. If he was awake I would be embarrassed, but he's not. I enjoy the feeling of him close to me. I look over my shoulder to see his face. His hair line is sweating but it's not as bad as before. He looks peaceful sleeping and I'm overcome with comfort having him near me.
I look over at the clock. It's 11am. I've gotten enough sleep. I'll be okay even though I won't be getting to much sleep tonight. It's New Year's Eve.
Harry stirs and I quickly lie my head back down, pretending to sleep. He moves away slightly before running his fingers through my hair. "Thank you", he whispers into my ear.
He gets out of the bed and I suddenly feel very alone. I frown and turn, just in time to see him walking out of his bedroom door.
I pull my legs out of the blankets and get out of his bed. The floor is cold. I walk to the bathroom and flick on the light. I look into the mirror. I run my fingers through my disheveled hair. I turn on the sink and splash water onto my face. That will loosen up the mascara so it's not so caked on. I was too tired to wash my face last night.
I walk back to his bedroom and grab my phone. I have three missed calls from my dad. I have no idea what I'm going to say. I put my phone back down and walk into the living room. I walk out slowly, closing his door behind me.
When I turn around two men are staring at me. Niall's mouth is wide open and Harry is smiling. My cheeks heat and I look at my feet.
"Um..", Niall starts. I look at the ground and walk into the kitchen where Harry is. Niall is thinking that we did more then sleep. I know that by the way he's glaring at Harry. Harry shrugs his shoulders. "We just slept", I say to Niall. I'm starting to feel sweaty. Harry laughs. "Ooh okay", Niall mocks me. I roll my eyes and sit silently at the table.
"I'm gonna..um go. I have work", Niall says breaking the silence. "See ya Leah", he laughs at his rhyme. I smile and wave goodbye to him, as he steps out of the front door.
Harry sits next to me at the table. "Want something to eat?", he asks. I'm not hungry. I shake my head. "Me either", he sighs.
"What do you want to know Leah? I'm going to answer everything honestly", Harry says, surprising me. I look at him for a second before asking him my first question.
"Why were you really at the cliffs that day?", I ask. He swallows. "I um..", he takes a deep breath. Does he expect me to leave? Why would I? He already killed someone and I'm..still here. It still all sounds surreal to me. "I was burying bags of cocaine", he looks down at the table. What? I was not expecting that. The pieces are starting to fit together now.
"I heard your scream and I went after you", he says slowly. "You know the rest". He looks at me. He looks like he might cry. God, I don't ever want to see him cry again.
I swallow hard before I ask my next question, even though I know the answer. "Harry were you selling or buying cocaine last night?", I ask. It doesn't seem like last night. It feels like years ago. He looks at me then back down at the table. "Last night I was selling it. The guy wanted more than we had to offer", his eyebrows crease together. I close my eyes letting all this information seep in. Now I know why Harry is so well off, money wise. He probably used that to buy my car. Oh god. I tighten my jaw.
"I promise you Leah I'm done with that shit", he hits his fist against the table causing me to jump. "I don't want to do anything to hurt you. Ever", his face contorts and a tear falls. He wipes it away quickly. I push away all the negative thoughts.
"Okay Harry I believe you", I say. I do. I believe him. I know I can trust him. He looks surprised by my words. I place my hand on his. I don't know why I'm taking this so lightly. I know I shouldn't.
"Leah.. I think I love you", Harry says to me. To me. My heart stops I know it does. "Don't say anything back. I know we barely know each other. I know. I don't want you to say anything back", he squeezes my hand. I won't say anything back because I don't know what to say. I told myself that I loved him once but I barely know him. Yes, we feel connected to each other but still.
He closes his eyes. "Come to the New Year's party with me", he says changing the subject completely. I'm grateful for that. I don't think he meant to say what he did out loud.
A New Year's Eve party? Why not? I swallow and try to find my voice. "Okay", I say. He smiles.
***8pm***
"I'm 18 now so it doesn't matter!", I yell. My father's face is red with anger. I lower my tone. "I'm sorry I can't tell you where I was but I'm okay. I'm going to this party dad", I say sternly. He swallows. "I'm not a bad kid. You know that. I'm going to be careful", I look up at him. The red in his face is turning into a light pink. "I know. I'm sorry", he runs his hands through his short hair. I smile at him. Our relationship is so confusing. "Please come home tonight though. Okay?", he pleads. I feel bad. "I promise", I tell him.
Our conversation is broken when I hear the doorbell ring. My dad looks worrisome but keeps his mouth shut.
I open the door. Harry stand there. He's wearing black pants with a blue flannel. A few extra top buttons are open showing the swallows on his chest. He smiles warmly and looks over my shoulder. "Hi Mr.Walters", he waves to my dad. My dad raises his hand at Harry but doesn't quite wave.
I look at my dad and nod he waves to me and I walk out of the door with Harry.
"Well that was easier than I thought", Harry says when we are inside of his car. I laugh as he starts the car.
The house we are going to today is very close to the previous party I went too. "You ready?", Harry asks. "Sure", I laugh. We get out of the car and head to the front door hand in hand.
***11:30pm***
"Thirty minutes until midnight!", a tall guy screams. Everyone screams then. The fireworks are beautiful. Harry hasn't left my side. I've had one drink. I think it was cherry vodka. I don't really like the taste of alcohol. Not like that anyway. I drank it all anyway. Harry has had a few drinks but he's not going crazy.
"The fireworks are beautiful", I say to Harry. He smiles and grabs my hand. Here I am holding hands with a murderer and a drug dealer. I push the thought way out of my mind. I want to kick myself for even thinking it.
Harry leaves momentarily and returns with a cigarette in is mouth. Are you kidding me? The smell of cigarettes makes me want to vomit. I have a very sensitive smell. He uses his free hand to grab mine. I hold my breath. I don't want to hold my breath around him.
"Harry..could you get rid of that", I say. He looks at me for a second. "Why?", he questions. "The smell makes me nauseous this close up", I say. He looks shocked almost. "I'm sorry", he says quickly and throws it on the ground, stomping on it. He looks at me again worriedly. "It's okay Harry. Thank you", I tell him. He smiles weakly. He pulls out a piece of gum from his pocket and slips it into his mouth.
***11:59***
Fireworks are going crazy. People are screaming. "5..4..3..2..1..Happy New Year's!", everyone screams. I laugh and grab Harry's hand. He surprises me when he takes his gum out of his mouth and throws it into the crowd.
We both start laughing until he grabs me. He grabs me and kisses me. I kiss him back slowly. He keeps his tongue in his mouth this time. It was a short kiss but it was incredible. People are making out all around us. I forgot about the kissing on New Year's. I hug Harry and he pulls me close. "Happy New Year's", he whispers into my ear. "We both know what my resolution is", he says. Of course we do. I smile and lean my head against his chest, taking in his smoke free smell.
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YAY finally an update! I was at the beach forever haha. I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Don't forget to vote and comment! xx