Your P.O.V.
You pulled the trigger.
The monster will die completely alone right here as the sound of rain cover my cries. Walking slowly in this quiet town that seemed to fit my mood perfectly, I will find Onii-chan. Get reunited with him, and live happily ever after with him. The end.
And then-
Then why the fuck...
Once again. . .
I don't feel happy when I think of it?! That ending sounds so empty!
Again. . .
Then what should-
And again . . .
I do?
Until you finally were out of bullets, and the wall behind Johan became filled with small holes. The monster, however, was not fazed by the sound of gunshots, and the fact that the bullets passed next to his head by few centimetres.
"I can't..." you fell on your knees, tears sliding down your cheeks "I can't pull the trigger. Not if it's you whose life I am ending. You're a part of my world, my reality. I l-love you! I want to hate you but I can't! I love you on so many levels that it is so twisted in the same time! You complete me...you're a part of me! You're...special. You're not some random guy. You're my Johan."
I still want to shelter you!
I still want to save you!
And I fucking hate myself because of that!
You let out a laugh, a grin plastered on your face as you looked at Johan who was now looking at you with wide-open eyes, still trying to comprehend everything that you had told him just a few seconds ago. You knew, you fucking knew that he was more than shocked by the fact that your love for him was greater than the hatred. The very same feeling he thought was greater than anything else. And that just hurt you even more. To see him this broken-
"Oh, the bitter-sweet irony. I've felt more secured and safe in the arms of a serial killer than anyone else in the whole wide world. No, wait. It's mass murderer. Not that either. Spree killer perhaps? Haha, no, your case is too complicated to fit just one criteria." You spoke, and the grin was finally gone, replaced by shaking line, "Oh, Johan, why does it have to be you? Anyone...but you..."
But I finally realize the agony you are in...
And I fucking understand every piece of it...
Which is one of the reasons I just can't shoot at you
Not you-
"You suck at love because you've never been properly loved." You suddenly added, "But then again, I am not the best example either."
Of course, you were not a fool either. Anna, no, Nina had explained you briefly Johan's obsession with her half being his other half, and how their relationship, mostly on Johan's part, was no sort of a normal one that twins had. And, that just made you feel more pity for the monster-for this nameless man right in front of you. He had never let anyone in his own little world, and as much as you had thought you weren't in there, now you were able to see, to understand just how much you were in his world the whole time.
"Might as well just die. I swore to protect my brother, and I failed so miserably." Your lips trembled, your heart aching at the mere thought of that would happen next.
"If I were a monster, would you still want all of this?"
You looked at Johan once again, remembering the way he asked you the very same question. He knew this would end. He knew everything the whole time.
Then why did he do everything to make me so happy...
Your mouth slightly opened but no words came out. You finally realized. You wiped your tears, and spoke as you stood up "You only know how to destroy. The happiness...all those stuff...everything...was your way of saying sorry...to me. In a way...it's complicated to put everything in words. You were-are suicidal-" your eyes watered once again "The whole time...you wanted me or Kenzo to end you. Because...to you, we are the only ones who deserve that...But you would prefer me-"you couldn't even finish the sentence.
Because in your own fucking Johan-style...you care for me. Maybe even love me.
However, love is too pure word to be associated to what we have.
Words are not able to describe your twisted obsession or feelings...whatever that is.
"And whatever that is..." a small saddened smile crossed your face, and you stepped closer "Is so perfectly broken. Just like you, and me. One of the reasons why we complete each other."
Johan's face looked like that of a lost puppy, and you couldn't help but adore the adorable but oh-so-lost-and-broken face he had at the moment because the pain you saw in them was something that actually made you believe that he was still a human.
Heavy silence filled the room.
"_________" his eyes back to his usual size, and his head was slightly bowed "Dr Tenma will shoot me."
My brother...
"You might think you know Kenzo..." you let out a deep sigh "But I still know my brother better than you ever will."
Won't shoot at you.
Even though Johan will do anything in his power to manipulate him to shoot him.
Goodness, Johan, is world such a dark place for you?
"You are not afraid. Even now, ________. " Johan said in usual soft tone "Even though you really like pushing my buttons."
A small chuckle left your mouth "Haven't I told you? I am broken. I push everyone's buttons. Even Kenzo's own." you made another step, and placed one of your hands on his cheek, looking at lips that seemed irresistible even at that very moment, "Beside, after you burnt down that fucking orphanage, do you seriously think I can be afraid of whatever scenario you have planned?"
"You are not the only one with the gun." Meaningless threat.
"I know."
"There is a difference." His hand went up to your cheek, caressing it with his thumb "You have never killed anyone."
"Don't underestimate me. Were you anyone else, you would have been dead the moment I stepped into this room." You placed a gentle kiss on his lips, and immediately made a step back, "I am going to find him. The mess I..." but you slightly shook your head "The mess we made needs to stop."
Perhaps...
Turning around, you started walking towards the door that was still opened.
However, the blonde monster stopped you before you were outside. Once again, you were facing him but the narrowed eyes he had sent a chill down your spine. He took a small hand-gun from his right pocket, and-
"Goodbye, my dear." was said in a hushed tone.
A/N: Ah, the sweet taste of another cliffhanger ;D
Also another shout-out to my friend @WaitWhatTheF who was the closest to the answer on "What will happen in this chapter?"
The question is the same for the next chapter as well ^__^
Also-
Over 400 starts?!?!?! Not a single Monster fanfiction has that much hearts/starts/favourites on any of the sites-
Guys- my peeps-
I freakin' love you so much! <3 <3 <3 Thank you so so so much for all the awesome!! ^^
I will try to update asap!
Until next time~