A/n
Ok I realize I have not updated in over a week and I'm so sorry, that's really rotten of me. I just had a rough week but I won't let that happen again.
Second, THANK YOU SO MUCH to everyone that used #OnWednesdaysWeWearPlaid
And third I'm writing this on my phone so if there are typos I'll try to go back and fix them later.
- (I'm not fivesaucewhoop and BritishBums therefore this is not squishy this is Mc Smashy Ash)
"You're insecure don't know what for, you're turning heads when you walk through the door."
Sitting at my table in the back of the room I drummed my fingers idily to the music while the rest of the guys got down on the dance floor.
Luke was dancing with Charlotte, Michael with Erin who had showed up for the reception and Calum way eyeing some older girl at the bar.
Sighing I picked up my water glass to take a sip when suddenly a shadow crossed in front of me blocking my light. Started I looked up and was surprised to find Mr. Stacey looking down at me.
"Um.... Hi," I mumbled.
"You are so adorable!" She laughed, "I need to dance with you."
I tried to tell that I was half Irish and didn't dance however she ignored me, grabbing me by the hand and pulling me behind her to the center of the room where she proceeded to shake her massive, melon like breasts in my face.
"Mrs. Stacey," I sighed.
"Call me Regina," she laughed.
"Fine," I mumbled, "Regina, you seem really nice and everything but I'm kind of uncomfort......"
Ignoring me she wrapped her arms around my waist pulling me against her so that my face was situated in between her boobs. Knowing full well I was a dead man if my Mom ever found out I tried to pull away however her grip only tightened.
"You're a good dancer," she praised even through I was just flailing around trying not to suffocate in her boobs.
"My first husband, some loser who wanted to keep my last name so his name would be George George. He looks just like you."
"That's nice," I gasped.
"Yeah," she laughed, "he was a total ass hole though, I shouldn't have ever left Aaron for him."
"Who?" I questioned politely.
"Oh, sorry," she giggled, "you know Erin Samuels, Michael's girlfriend, her Dad and I used to date."
"That's uh.... Nice." I mumbled.
"He was a dream boat," she sighed, "I've never done a guy that big since, although you're hands are like baseball mitts kid and you know what they say about big hands."
Horrified I pulled away from her.
"What's wrong?" She pouted.
"Regina... Mrs. Stacey!" I cried, "I'm eighteen!"
"Exactly," she giggled, "you're legal. You want to do a quickly in the bathroom?"
"No!" I gasped.
"Come on!" She cried, "No one has to know."
"Mrs. Stacey no offense but you're old. And I kind if want my first time to be with someone.... I don't know I care about... Not my friend's Mom at his sister's wedding!"
"You're a virgin!" She gasped squishing my cheeks, "That is so cute!"
"Is there a problem here?" A voice said behind me.
Turning around gratefully I looked at the smaller blonde woman standing in front of me.
"Go away Karen." Regina huffed.
"No," Karen spat; "I'm not letting you hurt this kid Regina."
"He's eighteen!"
"So is my son and your step son!"
"Former step son!"
"I'm sorry but what's going on here ladies?"
Turning around yet again I was surprised to find Mr. Clifford in a Neon orange tux.
"You're bitch ex is being a bitch." Regina spat.
"You're skanky ex is being a skank!" Karen shot back.
"Ladies, ladies, ladies," Mr. Clifford sighed, "you two used to be friends, why the fighting."
"Because she's mean to me!" Regina cried stopping her foot.
"Because she still acts seventeen even though she looks seventy!" Karen spat.
"Oh my God Karen," Regina laughed flipping her hair over her shoulder, "fuc......"
"Shut it Regina!" Karen interrupted.
"Make me!" Regina cried.
A look of absolute hatred coming over Karen she lunged at Regina grabbing her by her obviously died hair and dragging her to the ground.
"Jesus," Mr. Clifford breathed.
"Do something!" I cried.
"Right, of course!" He said snapping out of it, "Someone record this, it'll I viral on World Star!"
"No!" I sighed, bending down to try and pry the two woman apart however just received a fist to the face from Regina.
Seeing stars I fell into my backside clutching my face. My unquiffable hair falling down into my eyes.
"Ashton!" A female voice cried.
Blinking back tears of pain since Regina hit like a four hundred pound man I watched as Calum and Michael pried Regina and Karen apart while Luke and Charlotte knelt next to me.
"Are you okay?" Luke demanded.
"Yeah, I'm fine," I groaned, still clutching my nose.
"Let me see," Charlotte said gently, pulling my hand away.
Immediately her eyes widened, and looking down at my hands I realized why, seeing them smeared with blood.
"Oh my God!" Luke cried, "oh my God!"
"Shhh, it's okay," Charlotte soothed.
"Ashton!" Luke gasped starting to cry, "you're bleeding! What if is doesn't stop! What if you die! That's how that Chinese bad guy from history died! What's his name Charlotte?"
"That's racist Luke," she spat, "Are you just assuming I'll know because I'm Asian?"
"No," Luke sniffed, wiping his eyes on the back of his sleeve and looking very confused, "You're smart and pay attention I thought you would know."
"Oh," she mumbled blushing, "well uh, I think you're thinking of Atilla the Hun."
"Yeah," Luke whimpered, "chinchilla, but he wasn't a hun though, he killed a lot of people."
Charlotte opened her mouth to correct him, however letting out a sigh, decided against it and turned her attention back to me. Pulling off her sweater and holding it to my gushing nose.
"What happened to him?" Regina asked, patting down her hair, and tucking her boobs back into her dress.
"You punched him!" Michael shouted.
"Psycho," Karen muttered.
"You're no better Mom," Michael spat, "I get that you're both jealous, bitter old women but pull you're shit together!"
"Michael Gordon Clifford!" Karen gasped, "you will not talk to me like that young man!"
Rolling his eyes Michael crossed over to me, and holding out his hand, which I took, hauled me to my feet.
"Let's get out of here," he muttered shoving his hands in his pockets.
"Ashton's bleeding." Luke pointed out.
"I can see that," Michael replied, draping an arm over my shoulder as he led me, Luke, Calum and the girls to the door, outside and to his car.
"I call shotgun!" Calum cried.
"No, Ashton gets shotgun," Michael sighed.
Smiling at Calum sympathetically, I got I to the passenger seat still clutching Charlotte's sweater to my still bleeding nose.
Getting into the driver's seat, Michael turned on some rap song about loosing yourself.
"Sorry about my Moms," he muttered.
"It's fine," I replied.
"They do that every time," Michael sighed, "plus Regina gets weird and violent when she gets drunk."
"Is that why you went to Destiny's the other day?" I asked suddenly.
Glancing into the backseat to make sure the others were not paying attention and finding them all watching Luke nail the rap perfectly with amazement he turned back to me and nodded.
"I didn't do anything with her," I mumbled.
"I know," Michael sighed.
"Then why did you flip shit?" I demanded.
"I don't know," Michael muttered scratching the back of his neck with one hand, the other gripping the steering wheel tightly, "She's not like other girls Ash."
"I know," I sighed, "it's nice."
"She's delicate," Michael admitted, "She's been through a lot and she doesn't need to add some guy treating her like shit to the list."
"I wouldn't treat her bad." I said quickly.
"I know," Michael sighed, "but it's weird, I like care about her I guess and you're my friend so it's weird."
"We're friends?" I asked surprised.
"Yeah," Michael said in a duh tone, "what did you think we were?"
"I don't know," I admitted sheepishly.
"Yeah, we're friends," Michael sighed.
Smiling I turned and looked out the window.
"Can I ask you a question?" I said after a moment turning back to him.
"I guess," he replied.
"If sisters are off limits how come you talk about Mali-Koa so much."
Glancing over at me Michael laughed, "Have you seen her ass?"
Blushing I nodded.
Rolling his eyes, Michael turned back to the road, "I wouldn't act silly date Mali, I just like to piss Cal off. We've been friends since Kindergarten she's like a sister to me."
"Oh," I replied, surprised.
"I'm not as big an asshole as you think I am," he chuckled.
"You're actually dare I say it, an okay dude," I replied.
"Don't tell anybody," he joked, "or I'll give you an eye to match you're nose."
Smiling I nodded as we pulled to a stop outside my house.
"Thanks," I sighed.
"Feel better Ash," Erin said sweetly.
"Yeah, I'd ice it," Charlotte added.
"Don't lay down," Luke warned, "that's how Vanilla the Bun died."
"Thanks Luke," I laughed, getting out of the car, and waiting until they drove away before making my way up the driveway.
I was almost to the porch when a car zipped around the corner pulling into my driveway.
Startled I watched as the window rolled down revealing Harry.
"Hi," I greeted, "I thought you had band stuff."
"Don't hi me!" Harry spat.
"What?" I cried.
"Who hit you?" Harry demanded, "I want to shake their hand and thank them."
"What is your deal?" I spat.
"My deal!" He cried, "is that you chose Michael and his cronies over Destiny!"
"Oh that." I mumbled.
"Yeah, that you ass hole!" He snarled, "I thought you were cool Ashton but you're one of them."
"They're not that bad!" I argued.
"You're one of them now?" Harry laughed, "you're pathetic! You're not a person anymore you're plastic! Cold, shiny, hard plastic!"
"Whatever Harry," I spat turning on my heel and starting back towards my house.
"We're done!" Harry shouted.
"Fine by me!" I spat.
"I want my plaid shirt back! He roared, as I made my way inside, slamming the door behind me and wondering if I had made the right decision or if joining the plastics was a mistake.
Another a/n
Michael's mom's actual name is Karen in case you didn't know.
I hope you liked this chapter. <3