P A R T T H R E E
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She was right there.
Theo's heart was beating like crazy.
When he arrived at the small town, he didn't know what the hell to do. He should really start thinking his plans through, because he'd been making rash decisions lately that left him feeling like a complete idiot. But he regretted nothing — because he was here, breathing the same air as her, not thousands of miles apart anymore.
So he texted Travis out of all people — he couldn't believe it, either — because he knew Daisy would be out of town already, and he was afraid Jeff would tell El that he was here, whether intentionally or not. That boy did have a runny mouth sometimes.
Out of pure damn luck, he replied, and with one vague sentence:
TRAVIS: Meet me at Bond Beach tomorrow at five. She'll be there.
If that wasn't enough to get him into a near panic attack, he didn't know what would.
All day he stood himself in the mirror and practiced everything he wanted to say to her — which usually resulted in him scolding himself, backing out of his own reflection and occasionally letting out frustrated sounds that did not sound quite human. He gripped the sink below him, head hung low, with the low static of television in the background.
How do you face the person you've loved and always have?
You can't, a quiet voice in his head answered.
So when he made his way to the beach, he steeled every bone of his body, the walk to the beach familiar and daunting at the same time. His fists were clenched, his body was taut and his jaw sharp — but as soon as the soles of his shoes hit the sand...
...his heartbeat slowed down. They felt so soft underneath, a similar feeling to when a warm blanket was around you. Then he saw the crashing waves, loud and clear, and the soft chirping of seagulls above, and a sudden calmness radiated over him.
Nature never had this effect on him. He was in awe; the months he stayed here apparently also made him attached to the place itself — because now he felt a sense of stability. That, as much as the world kept changing around him, there was a place that always stayed the same. One place that truly felt like home.
Home...
That was when he saw her.
The first thing he noticed was the hair. It'd always been short, but now it was a bob haircut, the ends of it just barely reaching her shoulders. Then the sundress: he hadn't seen it before, but it didn't look so new, more like something vintage she'd borrowed from the grandmother. At last her figure, the entirety of her, was fuller than when he left her — a good sign. She was eating healthy and regularly, then. But there was one thing that hadn't changed.
Her eyes... still the same shade of brown, warm and welcoming. Like a cup of coffee on a winter's day. Still had that curious spark, with the doe-eyed look she was giving him; like she saw him and saw more.
And oh god, he wanted to drop on his knees right then.
"Theo," she let out in a whisper.
Someone cleared their throat. Theo blinked, his eyes swivelling at Travis, who he hadn't even noticed was standing right next to her. He didn't know what he expected to feel seeing Travis the Tool again, but he could confidently say, now, that anger wasn't one of them.
"I, uh, I'm heading out." He awkwardly hugged El by the side. She didn't even react as her gaze was still fixed on the blue-eyed boy.
He gave another awkward pat on her shoulder.
Then he walked ahead and passed him. Theo sucked in a breath; they'd never gotten that close without starting a fight and throwing punches. But instead he leaned in and whispered"good luck" before quickly disappearing from them under a blink of an eye.
Travis Porter suddenly resembled a fairy godmother.
He shook the thought of his head and focused on the matter at hand.
She didn't say anything — neither did he. They just stared at each other as if expecting one to suddenly vanish. Afraid to take one step forward in risk of disturbing the dream they thought they were in now. This couldn't be true, she must be thinking.
This is real, he insisted.
Wasn't there a saying about how the eyes were the windows to the soul? Well, whoever said that was damn right. Although no words came out of their mouths, a lot was said between their gazes: shock. Awe. A little bit of anxiety. But most of all, so much longing.
They'd been apart for months, and now they were only a breath away from each other.
"Come here," he murmured.
And she did.
Or maybe they both did — it was hard to tell who stepped forward first, but the next thing they knew they were against each other; their chests pressed up and arms intertwined, her temple on his chest and his head at the crook of her neck. She smelled like the ocean and sea salt and a taste of vanilla and he could get drunk on that scent.
God, he missed her so fucking much.
"I missed you," she whispered, like she heard him loud and clear.
"I've missed you, too — so much." He couldn't help a kiss on the forehead. "I'm sorry it took this long."
"No, it's me who needs to apologise — I stopped replying — "
"But I did, too." He wiped a spot under her eye, like she was a fragile little thing. She wasn't. "It's okay, El. Whatever we did wrong back then... that's all over. We're here now. And that's what matters."
She flickered her eyes upon him, those brown orbs threatening to swallow him whole.
"Here we are, then."
They stayed there for God knows how long, coiled around each other like a thread too tangled to unfold. His gaze kept dropping down to her lips — he wanted to kiss her so badly, as it was his first thought every morning after he decided he'd return to her again. But the proximity scared him; he wasn't ready for her reaction nor his own reaction. He imagined it'd either be like fireworks exploding in his chest or a wildfire burning until his lungs coughed up smoke.
"I got something for you," he cleared his throat.
El frowned as he pulled his arms back, immediately missing the warmth of her body. He fumbled through his duffel bag until he finally found a small black box — something he'd kept close to him the past couple of days. Her eyes widened.
"That's not what I think it is, right?"
"What — no," Theo let out, his heart racing in panic. "It's nowhere near that." He realised how utterly rude he sounded. "I mean, it's not like you're not worthy of — "
"I'm kidding."
He blinked. Then he swatted the side of her head.
She giggled and gripped the box between her hands. He tracked her every move right up until she finally opened it and held the piece in her fingers. A gasp escaped her lips.
It was a gold chain necklace with a small anchor as the sole charm.
"Theo," she breathed. "It's beautiful."
"It made me thought of you," he responded softly. "May I?"
El looked up at him and nodded, furtively ducking her head down like she was nervous. He held her waist and gently turned her around, grasping the necklace with either side of his hands. As soon as the gold touched her neck, she sucked in a breath; he could feel her tense — but when he finally clasped it shut, she exhaled. Facing him again.
The anchor landed right above her heart.
"How does it look?" she asked shyly.
So fucking perfect. "Like you were meant to wear it, El."
***
He gathered her in his arms again. She complied easily. Surrendered was more likely the word. The difference now was that they were sitting, the soft sand underneath them like the cushions back in El's bed. The view in front of them far much better than her wooden door.
"So what were you doing here?" he asked first.
"Letting go of something." He couldn't see her face, as her head was nestled on his shoulder, but he noticed the uneven tone of her voice. "Travis came here to help. I... I needed the emotional support."
He didn't ask her what it was about — it looked like she was at peace at the moment — but he was surprised knowing that was why Travis was here. Could it be that the months they spent apart, she had spent getting close to Travis again? Building the bridges again? Rekindling their bond? Or, maybe after all this time, he still cared about her?
He didn't know what to make of it, except that he was suppose to be jealous; but he wasn't. He was happy that she had Travis and that he came. Not to mention the guy had texted him back and help set up this meeting that Theo himself was far too anxious to start.
Maybe their fates had been intertwined all this time — Theo, El, Travis. Altogether.
"Why are you here?" she blurted. "No message or call or anything. You just show up and give me a heart attack. Have you any mercy on me?"
"I forgot how much I loathed your theatrics."
"Theatrics is the only way we live in this world, baby."
El's laugh died down, and he knew she meant that last bit as a joke. But the word still brought memories they were both far from forgetting. "I miss calling you baby," he murmured.
That was the most unmanliest thing he'd ever said in his life.
She chuckled. "That's why you came here?"
"And more." He squeezed her into him, his muscles contracting. "I felt like I needed to be here, you know? Like... it was time."
"Like the universe told you to?"
He was silent. Because she was right.
She turned her head then with a big smile on her face. "I thought you didn't believe in fate," she smirked.
"I didn't believe in a lot of things, El, until I met you."
Just a stare at first, like she had to register his words in her brain. Then a spark in her eyes as she cupped his cheek and brought his head for a slow, smouldering kiss that left heat all over his body — and parts in particular. He let out a soft groan against her mouth and deepened the kiss, literally crushing her body like his life depended on it.
"I'm leaving this place," she said out of the blue.
He pulled back and frowned, eyebrows furrowed. "What?"
"Yeap." She fiddled with the collar of his T-shirt. "It wasn't my initial plan, but I've thought a lot about it... and I've done everything that I can and have to here. There's nothing left for me anymore, you know? And... and I've also done everything I needed to let go of things."
"But Anchor's — "
"It's Wanda's now."
" — and Warwick — "
"Dropped out completely."
" — and your grandparents — "
"Wants what's best for me," she finished with a small smile, putting a strand back behind her ear. "They were actually the ones who convinced me to go. And I want to, Theo."
He didn't have any words. He was speechless. This was not what he expected her to say. But then again, what was his plan exactly? Sure, getting here was easy; then the hard part was actually meeting her, but he had conquered that. And now they were here. What next?
What she confessed to him should be a fucking blessing.
"Where will you go?" he whispered instead.
"Honestly? I don't know." Then she grinned. "But San Diego might be a good start."
Theo froze.
Did she just say what he thought she said?
"You heard me," she bit her lip, her smile getting too big at his state, "I want to get out of this town for sure and explore the world for myself. To actually start living life for me." A long, painful pause that could either make or ruin his life. "And I think I'm ready to do that. With you."
With you.
"El..."
"It's alright if you don't agree," she blurted out, the first flicker of doubt in her eyes. "I'll look for my own place, I've seen the deals on apartments there, and I can continue keeping my distance if — "
"No." His voice was sharp and clear. "Fuck no, El. I'm not letting you go this time."
I'm not letting you go ever.
"Thank the stars for that," she exhaled in relief, then grinning. "Because I don't have a Plan B."
"You don't need that when you're with me, baby."
And he sealed that promise with a kiss.
They didn't know how life in San Diego was going to treat them. They didn't know whether she'd be staying in his apartment or if she wanted her own. They didn't know what this meant for their relationship — the fact that she was moving halfway across the states for him and that he was all in for it. They didn't know what the next step was after he finished his studies and she'd found the job she was looking for.
The future was waiting for them in uncertainty.
But the future of them was all the certainty they ever needed.
It was like no matter how many times he tried, there was always another wave — another wave of her. She'd come crashing back and she'd devour him, filling his lungs like there was no air, and yet, he'd feel like it was the first time he actually breathed. And he'd let himself drown in her — in her scent, in her laugh, in her smile. He'd surrender.
Every fucking time, he was lost in her.
"I'm really happy you're here," she whispered.
He smiled at her. "Me, too."
And this time, the boy found his way back home.
T H E E N D