I bounced my knee as I weighed my options. I could sneak out of here and go somewhere else till it was time for my ride to come pick me up or I could stay and do what I actually came here to do. Why did I agree to do this? I got up to make my escape grabbing my purse.
"Lennon Reese, Mrs. Landgrab will see you now." The secretary at the desk announced to the patients in the waiting room. Well crap there went my escape plan. There was nothing else I could do but do what I was here for.
I walked over to the secretary and she pointed down the hall way back behind her desk. "Go ahead and go in. She's expecting you."
I gave her a small nod and walked slowly to the door with the words Landgrab written across the frosted glass. My feet didn't want to move from the spot they were at. It was like my body had become planted right in front of the door. Come on Lennon you need to do this. Taking a deep breath I knocked on the door.
More than likely I didn't need to knock on the door but I felt awkward and didn't know what to do in this situation. I was about to tell a total stranger my life's problems. That wasn't something I was comfortable with but everyone believed it would be good for me. I didn't really want to go but I would do anything to get my parents to chill out for a bit. The constant watching me like a hawk and giving me looks of pity was starting to break me. I never wanted a person's pity. I had enough self pity to surface.
"Come in." A soft woman's voice said.
I twisted the door knob and opened the door. The office was just like expected it to be. A place that was too comfortable looking. There was the famous couch that you see in all the movies where the patient lays down and stares at the ceiling and answers the question "and how does that make you feel." Everything was just the way I pictured it in my mind and I didn't like it.
"Hello. You must be Lennon. I'm Mrs. Landgrab but you can call me by my first name, Miranda." She stuck her hand out for me to shake. I reluctantly shook her hand as I took in her appearance. Miranda had to have been no older than thirty-five, I remembered that the pamflet my parents had said she was in her late thirty, if I wouldn't have read that I would have never guessed it if it wasn't for the small wrinkles under her eyes. Her brown hair had absolutely no signs of gray in it. She had a big smile on her face and her nails were a soft pink.
"Yes." I said. I stood there awkwardly, dreading what was about to come next.
"You can have a seat." Miranda said guestering to the couch. I didn't want to sit on the couch. That just made it seem all too real.
"Do I have to sit on the couch?" I asked her.
"I suppose not. I never had anyone that didn't want to sit on the couch but if it would make you more comfortable you can have my chair." She offered graciously.
I walked over to her chair and sat down, sitting my purse on the floor next to me. There was no way I could be comfortable with the strap digging its way into my shoulder.
Miranda sat down on the couch smoothing out her skirt before grabbing her notebook from the coffee table in between us.
"So Lennon what brings you here today?" She asks writing something at the top of her notebook.
"My parents." I said telling her the truth.
"Oh so you didn't want to come here? They are forcing you to have therapy."
I shook my head. "No. They aren't forcing me. I'm here to put their minds at easy." That's only thing that I could do to help them move on from this. I was doing this for them not me.
"Oh well that's very mature of you." She smiled and wrote down a few more things with her pen. "Alright so what is it that your wanting to put there minds at easy about?"
What do I say to that? I asked myself. The truth.
"A few two weeks ago I went to the police to report a rape. My parents had no clue it happened and now they are blaming themselves. They all look at me like I'm sick or something. Even my younger sister does. Which that isn't much of a surprise since she's always done that but my parents always thought of me as the perfect child, well my father at least. Now they are being overbearing and I believe it's because they are worried about me." I told her.
She nodded her head and asked her next question. "Do you mind telling me if the man was ever caught?"
"No there wasn't no evidence to charge him." I hated that he never got anything he deserved and that he could be out there right now doing it to another girl.
"Do you believe it's possible that your parents are worried that he's going to do it again and that's why they are acting this way or do you believe that they are being overbearing because they are afraid you'll do something drastic?" She asked.
"Listen I know that it's no secret that depression is a side effect from what I been through but I wouldn't ever kill myself, if that's what your hinting at. I wouldn't do that to my family." I glared at her mad that she would even assume something like that.
She wrote what I said down in her little notebook and I could feel my rage increasing. Why couldn't she just try and be helpful. Writing down what I was saying wasn't going to help reassure my parents I was going to be okay and it sure as hell wasn't going to help me magically get better.
"So you're saying that you believe they are being overbearing because they think he might do it again." She put the back of the pen in her mouth and I hoped she would bite it hard enough that the ink would burst in her mouth.
"I guess so." I said shrugging. This conversation wasn't going to get us anywhere. I couldn't believe my parents wanted to pay for this bullcrap.
"Do you believe he's going to do it again to you?" She asked making direct eye contact with me.
I looked away and gazed out her office window. I could see the street below us and the people walking to the restaurant that was on the first floor of the building. A mother was holding her little girl who was about Dakota's age, walking to the daycare across the street. I watched as the mother handed over the girl to the worker and the girl cried for her mother. The mother gave her a small kiss on her head and hurried off to where her car was. The girl had a smile on her face as she was carried into the building.
"Lennon." She said trying to get my attention.
What wouldn't I do to have my happiness back.
"Yes." I said.
"Do you believe he will?"
"I said yes. Okay." I groaned. I didn't like saying it out loud. Saying everything out loud made it so much more real. I didn't like reality and if I could have it my way I would be in some fictional land waiting for my knight and shining armor to save me from the fiery dragon.
Miranda sat down her note book on the cushion beside her. "Why do you believe this?"
"I just know." I said there was no reason for her to know about the texts I've received. They weren't enough evidence for the cops it wouldn't be enough for her.
"Please elaborate." She begged.
I bit the corner of my lip and soon tasted metal. Releasing up on my lip I answered with the only thing I could. "There's nothing stopping him."
She gave me a questioning looking. "What do you mean?"
"What's there to stop anyone from hurting another person? Nothing. People hurt others every day of their life and it goes unnoticed, unpunished. So what would stop him? The cops. They already told me there's no evidence. The only evidence I could give them the next time is if I did a rape kit. But right now I don't believe he would let me live if he did it a second time. I would be dead and where would he be? Jail because then the cops would finally have their precious evidence that they were wanting." I took a breath the first one I took since I began. "In the end they would have a rapist in jail and a dead girl in a casket because they didn't believe her the first time"
After realizing what I had just said I snapped my mouth shut. Where the heck did all of that come from?
"Very good Lennon." Miranda said clapping her hands.
"What? Why are you clapping?" I asked confused. Did my parents send me to a crazy counselor?
"You opened up and expressed how your feeling inside. That's why you are here is to open up to someone who won't judge you. Who won't look at you with pity that you hate so much. Tell me does it feel better to have all of that off of your chest?" She asked.
I thought for a moment trying to understand what exactly she was saying. After a few seconds I realized that I was angry that the cops where letting Bradley get away. I was angry that he took away my life. That when he raped me he might not have physically killed me but emotionally and mentally he did.
I nodded my head.
Miranda smiled and checked her watch on her wrist. "I think the hour is up." She got up from the couch and walked to the door.
I followed suit. I couldn't believe that an hour had passed.
"Will you be coming to another session?" She asked as she opened the door to let me out.
"Yeah I think so." If she could help me figure out what I'm holding inside and help my parents get some piece of mind it wouldn't hurt to come again.
~~~
It was the day of the dance and I was beyond nervous. Mom and dad weren't as on edge as I was because they didn't know what I did. Bradley was going to be there and I knew he wasn't going to stay quiet for long. If I didn't already promise Rowan I would go and bought a dress, I would stay home. The dance wasn't going to be anything special. No one really danced and if they did it was more like grinding on each other which could hardly be considered dancing.
To me the only real dancing in the word was at the club my grandma took me to when I was a kid. I loved watching old couples dance around the floor. It made me think about how in love they were. As a child I knew I wanted that. I wanted a relationship where we would go out in our seventy's. A song would come on and we would just look at each other without saying a word and know that we were going to dance the night away. But Bradley ruined that dream.
He's ruined a lot of things. Including me.
"Lennon you need to hurry up and get in here so I can do you hair!" Mom yelled from the master bathroom.
I groaned and got up from my bed. I didn't really think all of this was necessary but mom insisted that she do my hair and makeup. So I agreed because I knew it would make her happy.
My dress was laying on the edge of my bed just waiting for me to put it on. My heels shoved in the back of my closet from the last funeral I went to. I grabbed the hanger of my dress and the shoes, and left to join my mother and sister in the bathroom.
"Go ahead and get your dress on while I finish up Raven here." Mom said taking the straighter to Raven's hair. Raven wanted something more simple and less time consuming so she could do her own makeup. I swear she knew how to put makeup on better than me.
I walked over to the corner and got undressed. My clothes landed on the floor in a heap. My eyes watched as Raven typed away on her phone. She was going out with a big group of friends while I was just going with Rowan. I think I was the one who was the real winner.
Lifting my arms up above my head I moved around till I could get my arms through the sleeves and I pulled the dress the rest of the way down, smoothing it in place. My mind still couldn't get over the color of this dress. It was my absolute favorite color. I've never seen such a deep purple.
"That dress is gorgeous on you." Mom complimented me.
I hid a smile from her as I turned around to grab my heels. I slipped them on and looked in the full length mirror on the back of the door to the toilet. The heels added a couple inches to my height and would make me look slightly taller. I wonder will Rowan notice?
"Alight I think this is as straight as we are going to get it." Mom said to Raven giving her a tap on the shoulder.
Raven looked up from her phone to the mirror in front of her. She glided a hand down one side of her hair and sighed. "Thanks mom, but you know if you would just let me get it chemically straightened we wouldn't have to keep doing this."
Mom shook her head. "You know how I feel about chemicals. Plus one day you'll grow to love your wavy hair."
Raven huffed and got out of the chair. She was already wearing her dress and I couldn't believe she had managed to keep the dress up. Neither of us had been blessed with the big boob gene yet but she was still young and hers were still growing. I was just domed for.
"Go ahead and sit down." Mom told me as she switched the straighter for a curler.
"We're curling my hair?" I asked. I used to curl it for special occasions but stopped because of how much work it took. Raven and I both had the Reese hair. Our hair wasn't straight nor curly. It was almost impossible to do anything with it unless you wanted to spend a good hour trying for force it into submission.
"Yep. I found this new look on Pinterest that I have been dying to try. Your sister however doesn't want anything curled in her hair so that leaves me you." Mom said with a smile. "I already had this one heating up in the bed room so we should be able to get this done in thirty minutes."
I slide into the chair and mom started to separate my hair into sections. This was going to take a while. "What is it?" I asked wanting to know what exactly she was going to be doing to my hair.
"It's a surprise."
There's that word again surprise. When would she realize that I don't like surprises. Ignoring my anxiety I tried my best to get comfortable in the computer chair mom brought in from her office.
Raven left the room five minutes after mom started to work on my hair to go do her makeup in our bathroom. Hopefully she wouldn't leave the sink a mess like she did last time. I hated sharing a bathroom with her but soon enough I wouldn't have to worry about sharing one with her when I move out. Poor Dakota would have to put up with her and her hour long showers.
It ended up taking mom a little bit more than thirty minutes to do my hair. From what the front looked like I was really liking it but it didn't look like anything different. "Mom can I see the back yet?" I asked. I knew there had to be something different with the back because she used a lot of bobby pins.
She was unplugging the curler and setting it on the counter beside her. "Just let me grab the hair spray first."
I watched in the mirror as she grabbed the hairspray off of the little towel holder by the tub. She smiled as she looked down at my hair. "This looks way better than I thought it would." Once she sprayed my hair in a hefty layer of hairspray, she finally let me turn around and look at it in the mirror.
My eyes filled with shook. I couldn't believe it. She had turned the back of my head into a masterpiece. Small flowing loose curls created the bottom layer, at the top was a small bow created out of the two sections that she brought together.
"Oh I love it mom!" I squealed. My fingers went instantly to the bow I wanted to feel it. I couldn't believe it was real.
Mom slapped my hand away. "Hey do not touch, you'll ruin it."
I laughed and continued to look at it in the mirror. Tonight might not be so bad after all.
It took mom just a few minutes to do my makeup. I was grateful that she didn't go overboard on the makeup. Just some eyeliner, mascara, and some light brown eyeshadow.
"Lennon, Rowans here!" Dad yelled from down stairs. He was getting ready to take Raven to the dance.
Walking down stairs in heels was harder than I thought it would be. I held onto the railing as I walked carefully down to the front room where Rowan was waiting with dad.
Rowan's eyes brightened when he saw me. I smiled and walked over to him. "Ready?" He asked me with his own smile.
"Yes." I nodded. I was ready to get this show on the road.
"Are you sure Raven that you don't want to ride with us?" Rowan asked. Raven shook her head.
"No I'm just going to have dad take me." She said grabbing a jacket from the closet.
"I want to get a picture of you guys before you leave!" Mom yelled. I turned around saw her running down the stairs with her camera.
Raven and I groaned at the same time. "Do we have to?" I begged. I really hated taking pictures. It was bad enough that I had to get my pictures taken at the dance by the photographer.
"Yes now let's go outside. There will be better light out there." She instructed.
We all shuffled outside and stood on the porch. "Alright Lennon and Raven I want a picture of you girls together first."
Raven moved out in front first and slowly followed her. I knew there was no getting out of this. I wrapped an arm around my younger sister and smiled at the camera. Mom snapped the picture. "Looks great!"
I let my arm fall and moved back to Rowan. "Lennon get back here I want a picture of you and Rowan."
"Come on." Rowan said taking my hand dragging me to get my picture taken again. He wrapped an arm around me and pulled me close. I smiled and looked at the camera wanting to get all the pictures over with.
After the pictures were over Raven and dad went to the SUV and Rowan and I made our way to the jeep. I flung myself up into the jeep and laid back in the seat. I was already exhausted.
"So you ready for this?" Rowan asked as he slammed his door shut and put on his seat belt.
"Yeah. I'm a bit nervous though." I admitted.
"Don't be you look amazing." He said leaning over to give me a quick kiss.
The school's parking lot was packed but we finally managed to find a parking spot in the back. Rowan took the keys out of the ignition and put them in his pocket. I had kicked my heels off on the way over and I was dreading to put them back on.
"Ugh not these things." I groaned picking them up off of the floorboard. I didn't want to put those death traps back on. They were already killing my feet.
"Your feet hurting?" He asked.
I nodded. "I don't know why I thought these were a good idea?" I slipped them on and opened the passenger door.
Rowan quickly got out and walked around to help me out of the jeep. "If I still had your shoes in here you could wear them." I shook my head. This was the one time I felt the need to dress up a little bit. I didn't know why but I felt like I needed to impress Rowan.
The dance was loud. I could barely hear myself think. I looked around the gym and found a small table in the corner that wasn't occupied yet. Elbowing Rowan lightly I pointed at the table. He nodded his head and we walked towards the table.
"Hey Rowan come sit with us!" Zach yelled over the noise.
Rowan shook his head and brought me closer to him. "No man I'm good. We were just going to sit alone." I saw Zach's face drop and I instantly felt bad.
Zach looked disappointed and confused at the same time. "How come you don't hang out with us anymore?" He asked Rowan.
Maybe because your friend is a rapist.
"Sorry I've been busy." He apologized. Rowan didn't need to lie for me. He also didn't need to lose his friends because of me.
"Rowan." I whispered into his ear just loud enough for him to hear. He turned to face me. "Yeah?"
I really hope I won't regret saying this. "Let's sit with them." I didn't see Bradley anywhere yet. Maybe he wasn't going to come after all.
"Are you sure?" Rowan questioned.
I nodded my head. This was his dance too. I wanted him to have fun and being alone with just me couldn't be his idea of fun.
"On second thought we'll sit with you guys."
Together we followed Zach to his table and to the rest of Rowan's friends. I knew a few of them from class but I never actually talked to them before.
"Everyone this is my girlfriend, Lennon." Rowan announced to the table before we sat down. My legs were a bit shaky as I sat down in the open chair next to a girl whose name I couldn't remember. I tried my best to look friendly, to look normal, but I knew they could see right through me. I wasn't like them. I didn't have my whole life mapped out. I didn't see a future for myself.
"Hello." The girl next to me said with a smile. She told me her name was Ivy and she was a grade below us. She seemed really nice and genuinely a good person.
After a few minutes of Rowan socializing and me sitting there awkwardly Rowan got up from his chair. "Come dance with me?" He asked with his hand outstretched. I got up taking his hand and he lead me to the middle of the dance floor.
Rowan placed his hands on my waste and I put my hands on his shoulders. We swayed back and forth to the song playing while everyone around us was grinding on each other to the slow song playing above us. I shook my head we looked ridiculous.
"You look amazing tonight." Rowan smiled.
"Thanks you don't look to bad yourself." He looked amazing in his tux and his matching purple tie. Jenny did good.
He leaned forward and kissed my head. "Thank you for coming with me." His kiss brought a smile to my face and I leaned my head on his shoulder.
"Well as much as I love Netflix, I love being with you more." I teased. Everything was going perfect. Rowan was able to hang out with his friends and Bradley was nowhere to be found. Maybe the text was just him bluffing?
The song ended and I was really needing to use the toilet. "I'm going to go to the bathroom." I told him. I really hoped that we would be able to dance more when I came back even if we looked like complete idiots.
"I'll go get us some punch and I'll met you by the bathrooms." Rowan suggested. I agreed I was getting extremely thirsty. This was the most physical activity I had done in along time. What can I say, I'm lazy.
There was an eyrous line going to the gym's locker rooms. There was no way I was going to be able to wait that long. What about the bathrooms in the lunchroom? I decided to go ahead and go to those. The halls were extremely dark and school looked creepy at night with no one else around.
I quickly washed my hands after using the bathroom and blow dried my hands. I was in such a hurry to get back to Rowan that when I opened the door I didn't see the tall shadow at the end of the hall. I felt the hand grab my arm before I seen him.
"I told you would get round two." His hand gripped tight around me as he whispered in my ear. His breath creeping across my neck. "You should have stayed home Lennon."
Hi guys! Hope you enjoyed this chapter! We were finally able to get it back on a Wednesday. It's later in the night but this chapter is over 4,000 words so that's a plus.
What do you think about her visit with the counselor? What do you think about Lennons hair? (Picture can be found at the top) What do you think is going to happen? Why is Bradley doing this?
Make sure to not be a silent reader! We really want to get this book #1 in teen fiction!