I brushed off any of Bens questions later on about Niall. Never in my entire life had I felt so disgusted with myself, if I had known myself as someone else, I would avoid them, but here I am, lying to my boyfriend, whilst im loving someone else.
"Just as long as he hasn't been bothering you Sophie." Ben sighed as he walked towards my front door with me, somehow he'd stayed for dinner, and dessert, which was unusual for Ben to do on a weekday.
"No, I can deal with Niall." I said placing a smile on my face. "He's not a problem." I lied, he smiled believing me. Bens hand slipped down my arm connecting our hands as he leant in connecting our lips gently.
It was a nice warm kiss, but no comparison to his.
"I love you Sophie." Ben smiled as he straightened up, I smiled a genuine smile as I nodded.
"I know." I smiled, I meant to say that I loved him too but the words got changed half way out of my mouth, Ben noticed as his eyebrows dropped and his lips twitched slightly. "I mean, I love you too, I know you love me and I love you too." I gabbled as Ben pressed his lips together nodding.
"I understand." He smiled gently as he opened the door and took a step outside. I wrapped my arms around my chest as I looked up at the cloudy dark sky.
"Looks like the good weathers gone until next year." Ben chatted as I nodded unsure of why we were making small talk. "Anyway, I'll see you later Sophie." And that was it, he had taken off down the drive way, disappearing in to the darkness, leaving me alone on my porch.
I closed the door behind me and took silent steps up to my bed room.
"Has Ben gone?" I turned around to see my brother poking his head out of his bedroom door as I rose an eyebrow, taking another step closer to my door.
"Yes, he had to get home." I mumbled unsure of why after 48 hours he decided to talk to me now.
"He doesn't know about Niall?" he asked making his full body visible stepping away from the cover of his bedroom door.
"There's nothing to know." I sighed remembering how I left things with Niall earlier. "I finished it with Niall, I'm sure you'd be happy to know." I snapped quietly.
"Well of course I'm not happy about it Sophie, because I know that, that's not what you want." The corner of his lip curled in to a somewhat sympathetic smile as I shook it off.
"Well its done now, it wasn't good for anyone." I said quietly as I walked in to my bedroom leaving my brother in the hall way.
I brought myself up on to my window sill seat, pulling my book from the opposite end and almost cradling it in my hand.
A book was such a beautiful piece of art, not the illustrations, but the feel, the smell of a book and the way it makes you feel when you open it and crack the spine. The way the words make your mind dance, just different rearrangements of 26 letters that can make up a story that can be understood a thousand different ways.
One day, secretly, I imagined holding my own book. That very first printed copy, cracking the spine open and seeing in front of me, words that I had fathomed together, creating a story that people will take time to read and interpret. Its farfetched, beyond farfetched, only something I can imagine.
Wendy had only made it half way to never land, following Peters trail of pixy dust, when a crash against my window caused me to drop the book to the ground as I sat straight looking around.
Then it happened again, something hit my window. I moved away scared of what lay beyond the darkness, as another thing hit my window. I took a cautious step forward trying to peer at what was causing the damage.
The thing hitting my window had stopped and now there was nothing but silence.
That was until I heard a familiar husky Irish voice calling my name.
I took two quick steps over to my window, pulling the sash up and leaning out. Sure enough, I found Niall standing beneath my window, a handful of stones, looking back up towards me.
"What do you want?" I hissed, kneeling up on to the seat as he shrugged.
"Take it back." His voice was small, and practically lost in the wind, as I shook my head. I watched his mouth move again but this time his words did not reach me.
"What?" I called as he spoke again, losing his words. "I can't hear you." I sighed mostly to myself as Niall looked around frustratedly.
I sighed again making a mental decision I knew was going to be risky. I stretched my hand out of the window and pointed towards my front door before disappearing and sneaking quietly downstairs.
I checked the hall ways before opening the front door, where Niall was standing ready and waiting, once again, the boy opened his mouth to speak, but my hand beat him, as it flew up cupping his mouth and my other hand grabbed his arm pulling him in.
"Don't say a word." I whispered as he nodded looking around, I gently released my hand from his mouth as I tried to shut the door quietly.
"Sophie?" I froze as my mothers inquisitive voice filled the house.
"Yeah?" I called back pushing Niall towards the stairs as he smirked, hiding his laugh.
"Yes." My mother corrected my grammar before continuing. "What are you doing?"
"Nothing important, I'm going to go to bed, school tomorrow, night." I called taking a step behind Niall as my mother stopped me again.
"Well come and say goodnight." She called as Niall turned around smirking heavier than before.
I mouthed the words 'go' to Niall as I pointed towards my bedroom, he obliged taking two steps at a time as he quickly mounted the stairs.
I walked in to the living room smiling at my parents who were sitting opposite each other quietly. I first approached my mother kissing her on the cheek as her hand reached for my head, flattening the hair, making it neat. I rolled my eyes as I turned my back on her, and walking towards my father who was now chuckling at the rolling of my eyes.
My father left me with a kiss on the forehead as he undid the work my mother had just done by ruffling my hair gently and winking.
"Night Soph." he smiled as I returned the grin, getting out of the living room as quickly as I could.
I ran up the stairs, crashing in to my room to see Niall laying on the bed, feet stretched out in front of him crossed over, his trainers leaving a visible dirt mark on my covers. His arms were supporting the back of his head as he smirked at me.
"At least take your shoes off?" I mumbled sitting in the chair in the corner of my room, he raised an eyebrow, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed and sitting up straight.
He pulled his shoes off and chucked them in to the corner of my room before placing his hands in his lap cautiously.
"What do you want? If anyone finds out you're here, I am going to die." I stressed running a hand through my head.
"In fact, they will find out, Niall you need to leave." I stressed further standing up and walking over to him tugging at his shirt at a poor attempt to pull him up. "You need to go!" I stressed again as he laughed, taking my hand away from his black shirt and pressing it in his as he stood up, instantly towering over me.
"Calm down." His voice was so soft and gentle, as he pressed my hand to his lips, gently pressing his mouth against the back of my hand. He was able to instantly calm me down, melting away my troubles. "I'm not going anywhere until we talk." He whispered as I nodded, glancing towards my door nervously.
"Did you mean what you said today?" he asked quietly, I looked back towards him, finding his eyes already glued on mine as he tried to search for an answer. Little did he know that I was still searching for the same answer.
I took a gulp as his hand touched mine, brushing past it gently. "yeah." I quipped.
"No you didn't." He corrected me.
"We're poison for each other Niall."
Niall just stood there shaking his head, I felt like doing the same, but I knew, that this needed to end because it was tearing everything apart.
"Sophie we both know, that us being apart doesn't work." A small laugh escaped his lips but it was masking a different feeling. "We've tried, I've tried, and it doesn't work, we cant keep away Sophie." I sighed attempting to look away, but his thumb pushed my face back in his direction as he shook his head again.
"Think about it, it's only been a month, and things have happened that I thought were virtually impossible, if that much can happen in such a short amount of time, its obvious that we cant just stop this now." Niall whispered slowly convincing me as I found myself nodding.
"But Ben-"
"Forget about ben, deal with him when the time comes." He whispered, and before my mind could conjure up another ridiculous reason for us not to be together, Nialls lips were on mine, something I had missed in the past few days.
I pushed my tongue in to his mouth as I felt him laugh, his hand moving to the back of my head as he lead me backwards, on to my childhood bed.
We collapsed on to the bed together as Niall continued the slow kiss. His tongue glided across my lip as I felt the sting from his lip ring. One of Nialls hands slipped under my shirt, crawling up to my breasts, where his fingers rested on the lace of my bra.
"I love you." I mumbled as Nialls now evident erection pressed against my thigh. He moaned gently against the kiss nodding.
"I love you so much." He whispered back, his thumb slowly and gently rubbing against my bra, proving useless. I loved this relationship, it was so gentle and soft when it needed to be, at times like this, when all we needed was each other's touch, and to be close to each other, and then other times, it can be so physical, like a whole different Sophie has taken over. I pushed the thought of me labelling this as a relationship to the back of my head, careful not to let it ruin what was happening right now. We were corrupted when put together, but I didn't think I minded.
Niall nipped on my bottom lip, releasing it as his lips sprung on to my neck, sucking on the warm skin below my jaw. I lay on the bed, moving one of my hands down Nialls leg as the other reached up, gripping the back of his neck.
But then, ruining the atmosphere, a crash came from downstairs, Niall jumped but after looking around, went back to my neck, it wasn't until we heard footsteps that he jumped up looking almost frantic as my eyes widen.
I stood up following Niall as quietly as I could as the footsteps grew louder, leaving both of us frozen in the spot, but then I heard the door down the hallway slam shut as we both relaxed slightly.
"I think that was my cue to go." Niall whispered letting out a nervous laugh, I nodded, sadly as I looked around my room.
I walked towards the window, lifting it up as Niall let out another laugh.
"If you think im going through the window, you're fucking mental." He snorted as I turned to him glaring.
"How else do you expect to get out?" I asked as he rose his eyebrows obviously.
"The door? This isn't some teen flick from the 80's" He laughed as he grabbed the door handle, opening it, as my eyes widened, leaving me to quickly run after him. He descended the stairs in a quiet jog as I followed nervously.
He opened the front door just as I reached the bottom of the stairs, leaving me to run over to him.
"No more nonsense and distance then?" he asked so quietly, I had to strain to hear. I nodded sighing. "I get it, and I'll lay off around school and shit, but not permanently." He whispered as his lips moved to my ears, hovering just next to them. I nodded shakily as his hot breath ran down my neck, making my hairs stand on end.
"I'll see you tomorrow?" I whispered as he nodded, leaving his mouth by my ear.
"That you will." He moved to my lips, pressing them on mine quickly but gently, before pulling away but lingering close by. "I love you Sophie-May." I rolled my eyes at the name as my hand shoved his chest playfully towards the door.
He took a step out, climbing over the fence, taking his ultimate shortcut.
I shut the door, leaning against it for a moment, regaining my breath, Niall sent absolute butterflies through my stomach, just by being near me.
Pulling me from my thoughts, the sound of sniffing carried from the living room sounded.
I rose an eyebrow as I walked across the entrance of our house, walking in to the living room, the light was dim, the glow of the television being the source of light. As my eyes adjusted to the light, I saw flowers scattered across the floor, lying amongst a broken vase, baby blue with dark blue intricate patterns that now lay in shards across the floor. I followed the trail to find a women on her hands and knees a few metres away, it took me a moment to recognise the dismantled woman was my mother, with her hands covering her eyes.
I walked closer, crouching down in front of her, as I placed my hand on her shoulder causing her to look up. Her mascara had begun to smudge, only leaving a small dark rim under her eyes, nothing like what it looked like when I cried.
"What's wrong?" I asked quietly as she shook her head.
"Nothing I just broke a vase I liked." She muttered standing to her feet and picking up a large piece of broken china from the vase, running her thumb across the pattern.
"Are you sure?" I asked pulling myself up as she nodded forcing out a laugh.
"Shouldn't you be in bed?" She asked as heat rushed to my cheeks, if only she'd known what I had actually just been doing.
"Yes, sorry, I heard the smash that was all." I said, as she suddenly grimaced, I rose an eyebrow as she looked at me smiling weakly.
"Come on, let's clean this up in the morning." She put the piece of china on to the table and offered me her hand as I cautiously took it. She pulled me through the house and up the stairs.
My mother stopped outside my door, and smiled again, kissing my forehead, and walking away, leaving me utterly confused.
a/n hi guys, how are you all?(: i dont know if you guys like these little author notes but i like connecting with you all, apparently theres going to be a big 1d related announcement today, its silly how excited i am oops